Knight of Pentacles/Nine of Pentacles. Wow, looks like it is going to be a day of Earth effects. I may be noticing that I tend to bear the burdens of responsibility without the aid of the energy of ambition. I work hard, I keep my word, and I am responsible. Today I am being told that while I may miss instant gratification because I am not easily lured from my chosen path, in the end I will enjoy the fruits of my labors without any guilt, for I will know in my heart and my mind that my attainments happened because of this discipline.

My Thoth card is the Four of Wands reversed. “Completion” reversed has within its image both the symbol for Ares (“I want,” action-oriented and competitive) and the symbol for Venus (beauty, relationships, pleasure), and it tells of the building of a solid system of order, but in an upright position it also warns that this system is by its nature limiting. Because the card is reversed, I am being told that the system that draws me may not be as limiting as I think it is.

My Legacy card is the Ace of Wands reversed. Marchetti sees the Ace of Wands as a talisman of personal power. This Ace (and the entire suit of Wands) corresponds with the element of Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes), and rules the season of Summer and the three astrological signs within the time, Cancer (“I feel,” tenacious, nurturing and moody), Leo (“I am,” passionate, noble, egotistical) and Virgo (“I serve,” analytical, service-oriented, critical). The Ace of Wands is the initial spark that is the root of Fire, which can manifest into a power that will overcome inertia. Because the card is reversed, I may be dealing with a blockage of or difficulty connecting to my own personal power.

I had an interesting evening last night. We had dinner with our neighbors across the street, and the sister of one of the neighbors is a working energy therapist and Reiki practitioner and has been for many years. It just so happens that N (the energy therapist) comes from the Reiki lineage which believes that the Reiki symbols should be kept secret (their version of “sacred”), no one should receive an attunement unless they first receive formal instruction, and that distance attunements are not valid. To clarify, I believe that people without any knowledge of and experience working with the human energy field need formal instruction before their attunements, but through personal experience I have learned that many healers and energy therapists have already tapped into the Reiki energy slightly, and are better served by learning at the same time and after they receive their attunements; I believe that the Reiki symbols are sacred because they are **symbols** of sacred concepts and effects and while the symbols themselves need to be treated with reverence because they are powerful, they also need to be given to the person receiving a Reiki I attunement; and finally, I know from my own attunements that distance attunements are valid and powerful, and offer the same results as an in-person attunement. To add insult (completely inadvertent, but insult all the same) to injury, N had already offered my neighbor, Helen, a class and attunement, and I did not know this and attuned Helen last week.

The shame of this is that while both N and I could have shared information and thoughts and experiences as peers, N turned the evening into an “I’m-better-and-much-more-experienced-than-you” class, during which any time I was given the time to actually explain a concept as I saw it, my words chosen as metaphors to describe what I know and was taught were critiqued. Needles to say, while I thoroughly enjoyed the evening, I was disappointed and angered by the Reiki/spirituality/energy working discussion that went on periodically through the evening, particularly when I learned that N followed a more conservative tradition. I thought we would be able to share ideas and perhaps each learn from the viewpoint of another, but it did not turn out that way.

I tried to throw myself some cards after throwing my daily pull, but due to my empathic connection to the cards, every card I threw was reversed and told of what I felt was being blocked. So, I tried something different: I shuffled and then turned over cards until I got one upright. The upright card was the Three of Swords. LOL, yep. The next card was also upright and was a Major, Justice, and so I have decided to read those two cards in relation to my anger this morning, hoping for enough clarity to release the anger.

Three of Swords: There is not always a happy ending. Sometimes no matter how hard we try to compromise, we are doomed to failure. The Three of Swords represents Saturn (discipline, limitations, reserve) in Libra (“we are,” partnerships, cooperation and balance), and the number 3 tells of the creation from the duality of the 2 of the suit, and the suit of Swords is about the intellect and the power of the mind, so this card is focusing on the need to acknowledge, understand and express pain. The discovery of the reality of a painful truth can bring a sadness that is beyond words. But we do need to acknowledge the validity of this pain, we need to understand that no matter how much we want a happy solution, there may not be one, and we need to remember that hurt is evidence of being able to feel. Even though there may be no solution, understanding why we are hurting, thinking about the deepest and mist hidden wound that has been opened or reopened and bringing that would out into the air, may help us to release the hurt.

Justice is a dual card that tells of a balance between opposites: light and dark, yin and yang, open mindedness and reserved discipline. This card corresponds with the element of Air ( hot/separates and wet/adapts), the astrological sign of Libra (“we are,” partnerships, cooperation and balance), and the Hebrew letter Lamed, the ox whip (which is about both teaching and learning). Justice represents fairness and balance, and it reminds us that eventually we will receive exactly what we deserve. The image on the Legacy card shows two women each of whom represents opposing powers; they are facing away from each other yet they are sharing the burden of the scales. How appropriate. But I sense another message here, and I am drawn to throw one more card.

Nine of Swords. Okay. Now I understand. I am not the only one who was disturbed by the differences between N and I. I saw her strong criticism of my practice as a personal threat; she may very well see my more open attitude about Reiki as a threat to her livelihood and the perceived value of Reiki itself. The common denominator here is Helen, and I need to be very certain that I act with ethics here. I would never put N down in any way because I believe that for her, Reiki needs to be what she sees it as. I cannot force my way of perceiving Reiki on her; this holds true even if she has tried (by her sharp criticism) to force her perceptions on me, for I must believe that her intentions are good. She may be trying to “save” me.

It is what it is. I will find out later if Helen still wants to work with me, but whatever her choice, I believe that my perception of Reiki is valid for me. I have given other attunements to witches and energy workers that have been extremely beneficial to each of them. I do understand that not everyone will be comfortable with what I believe to be true about Reiki, but the fact that people disagree with me does not invalidate my beliefs.

*sigh*

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