Monday, March 30, 2009

I saw three black vultures clustered around a deer carcass on the Parkway this past weekend, while on my way down to Cape May. Strangely, as I drove past at 70 miles per hour, all three vultures seemed to watch me as I passed, almost as if they were waiting for me to come by. Turkey vulture is my totem animal, and I see plenty of them during my weekly trips, but I do see black vultures every so often. So, I decided to do a little reading and see what the differences are between the two species, cathartes aura and coragyps atratus.

The turkey vulture feeds entirely on carrion, which it locates through its excellent eyesight and highly developed sense of smell. Because the turkey vulture has very weak talons and beak, it will not catch even the tiniest of live prey. Rather, they tend to clean up roadkills or dead fish washed up on the banks of rivers, lakes or oceans. The turkey vulture often flies with its wings in a “v” shape, and is quite graceful in flight; they can soar for hours with very few flaps of their wings. However, takeoffs are not quite as graceful, and require wing flapping and circling in order to gain altitude. They do not build nests and will lay their blotchy-looking eggs in caves, rock piles, hollow tree stumps and even cliff ledges. The turkey vulture has a unique defense tactic: when disturbed, it regurgitates its last meal; in other words, it throws up the stinky contents of its crop. Eeewwwww!

The black vulture, which is also known as the carrion crow, feeds mainly on carrion, but will also supplement their diet with vegetable matter. The black vulture does not smell as well as the turkey vulture, and usually observes its cousins from a distance as they begin a meal, and then drops down and takes over the kill. Black vultures often dominate a feeding sight, even if they did not discover it. On the ground the black vulture gets around by hopping awkwardly, and taking off and landing can be amusing spectacles because the black vulture is the least graceful member of the vulture family. Once they are in the air, they are quite graceful, a striking sight with their white primary feathers at the tips of black wings in a flat line and tail feathers fanned. Black vultures lay their eggs in caves, tree stumps or on the ground, after indulging in courtships consisting of chases, high flights and downward spirals, dancing on the ground and bumping chests. Both parents take care of their young. Black vultures adopt easily to well populated areas, and have been known to befriend humans!
The Hermit reversed/Judgement. I am being told today that it is time to come back to the real world; my time of solitary contemplation is coming to an end, and my focus should be changing towards dealing with the results of my actions and my non-actions, and reconciling the consequences. Both of my cards are Majors, which tells me that the indications are of a broad nature, and the reversed Hermit alongside Judgement tells me that the changes will most likely be within the physical realms.

Interestingly enough, I was working with my Thoth deck this weekend, and I kept pulling the Eight of Cups. Another card that tells of moving on. The message here is pretty obvious: get up and get moving. I can feel my focus turning towards the physical realms, but I am a newer, stronger and more courageous person now. Time to stop talking and start doing; Raspberry, you will approve!

I met with my niece on Friday; she is very interested in being a part of what I am doing with this new business venture. She has her own ideas for jewelry, plus she has drills!! That means I will be able to drill holes in my sea glass as well as wrap the pieces in wire. This week, my focus will be on researching wholesale jewelry suppliers.

Hubby and I observed Earth Hour on Saturday night. LOL, he charged up the battery on his computer, and we listened to music through the computer speakers rather than through Airport for an hour. But I must say, there certainly is nothing wrong with a candle lit dinner!

My garden is awakening! Crocus, daffodils and hyacinths are in bloom; roses have growth!! My Lenten rose has tons of blooms on it this year; what an incredibly beautiful plant! My rosemary made it through another winter, and my chives are back. Purple archangels are poking their heads up, and the little purple flowers are blooming. We spent the weekend filling in bare patches with good soil and then laying down a bunch of grass seeds. We won’t be in Cape May this coming weekend, but the following weekend I am finally going to get my hands dirty!! Dandelion tincture is my next herbal focus; already I have seen the yellow blooms in the neighborhood.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Five of Wands/Four of Wands reversed. This makes perfect sense; my boss’s mother passed away last night. Today will be one of those days when nothing seems to run smoothly or as expected, and I probably will not have any celebrations to look forward to this evening. Keeping myself cool and steady is the goal of the day.

My focus for today is regeneration.

The word “generate” is described as “to bring into existence.” “Regeneration is defined as “to subject to spiritual renewal; to reform completely; to replace by a new growth; to revive or to give new life to.” I need to begin building again, and I need to throw in a few new concepts to “strengthen the bloodline” so to speak.

I meditated on this very subject during my Dark Moon Esbat on Wednesday night, and during the meditation I worked with my Younger Self. She seems to be the one who still fears being controlled by someone with a very dominant personality, so she is the one who needs to be worked with. This will be my new concept: including my inner child in my considerations, at least until she is comfortable once again. The other new building material that I will be adding will be the courage that I am finding during this time of growth, the courage to “boldly go where no man has gone before,” the courage to believe that “fear is the mind killer” and must be replaced by knowledge, and by the wisdom to use that knowledge to better myself.

As we move into the Waxing Moon and as we pass through the first days after the Equinox, I am trying to work with those sympathetic energies of new growth. I think I have turned a corner in many respects, and the painful transformations that began this past winter are allowing me to reach a crossroad. I can choose to take the path that requires me to be brave enough to embrace the totally new opportunities before me, or I can turn back to the old ways and “if only I could have” attitude. I don’t even need to take time to think about which way to turn, which to some extent surprises me. Who are you, and what did you do with Raushanna?

Speaking of bettering myself, I have my first business lunch today! My niece and I will be meeting for lunch to talk about rock tumblers and jewelry. My creative juices are flowing. I am getting excited just typing about this.

Another long life has ended today. Anne was 98 years old. Journey on now, Anne. We will follow when we can. May you be born again at the same time and in the same place as those you knew and loved in this life. May you know them again and love them again.

Blessed be!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

The High Priestess/Wheel of Fortune reversed. How interesting that the “mysterious lady” shows up for me now, at this stage of my explorations. The High Priestess represents mystery, and she is the source of the power wielded by The Magician. I am being told that today may be a good day for me to shine a flashlight into the dark and dusty corners of my mind, for the power of the Shadow might be of help to me today. I am also being told by both cards that hints for the next step are not to be found through integration with the physical realms, but rather by listening to the voices within.

It is also interesting that Crowley sees The High Priestess as representing purity; “Purity is to live only to the Highest; and the Highest is All.” Crowley sees pure and gracious influences in this card, and he also sees her as the bridge between worlds. She is Gimel, the camel that carries us across the Abyss. Can I hitch a ride?

Purification is the next step in my transformation process.

The word “pure” is described as “unmixed with any other matter.” “Purification is the act of making pure, or becoming pure.” Sounds easy enough, but like disintegration, this process takes things a step further, a challenging step. Now that I have broken myself down so that all components are equal (an interesting sensation!) I am being asked to release the things that are not helping me. Purification by releasing. Not as easy as it sounds.

I have issues (doesn’t everyone??), and the toughest ones to get rid of are the ones that challenge my perception of how well I can protect myself from being dominated. Sounds kinky, I know, but this all goes back to a time in my life when I allowed someone to emotionally dominate me. I am not that meek little girl any more. I have the knowledge and the wisdom and the ethics to turn my little patch of the world into a garden. But every once in a while I forget this, and I allow someone else to cause me to fear the loss of control. That is my issue. That is what I need to release. Oy.

On a lighter note, I am having lunch with my niece tomorrow, the niece who is tumbling the huge load of Cape May beach rocks that I collected, the ones that jumped up and down and waved their little hands frantically as they shouted “take me, take me!” as I walked along the ocean’s edge. We are making plans! Lauren is as excited about this as I am, because she has her own ideas for jewelry, totally different from my focuses. At the very least, we could encourage each other. Gotta squeeze out the most energy that I can from my “square root of nine” month.

My next focus is regeneration, and this times itself perfectly with the New Moon. Yeah!!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Two of Pentacles reversed/The Universe. Okay, this is the second day in a row for that Two, but today’s interpretation is more positive than yesterday’s. Today is another day of not being able to achieve a dynamic balance. But sometimes the best way to really experience the world is to totally change one’s perspective, and in this case I am being told to drop whatever I am juggling and begin again in a new way. Once I can look at the world from a new place and with a new perspective, things will begin to click.

My horoscope: “Nancy, this would be a good moment to get rid of anything that still impedes you from achieving your goals over the next month. One stumbling block for you might be the impulse you seem to have to try to blend in with others. Don't forget that you are an individual. This is not something to be overcome; rather it should be celebrated!”

Another one in pertinent part: “Paradoxically, the real issues for you today are not observable by anyone else. This dilemma questions the relationship between your personality and your soul.”

I am re-reading Mysteries of the Dark Moon by Demetra George. The three stages of psychic transformation, disintegration, purification, regeneration, are described in detail within the last chapter of the book. For some reason, those three words resonate for me at this time, and I am drawn to think about them and meditate on them, and apply them to myself.

First, disintegration.

The word “integrate” is defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary as “to form, coordinate, unite, or blend; to incorporate into a larger unit; to end segregation and bring equality.” The word “disintegrate” is defined as “to break or decompose into constituent parts; to destroy the unity or integrity of.” In many respects, integration is what I have been seeking for a while now, integration in my physical world that will bring me security as well as opportunities to use my skills in order to bring fulfillment, integration in my emotional world that will bring me deeper and more varied connections to others; integration in my mental world that will allow me to connect with and to know and to understand the many realms of existence; and integration in my spiritual world that will bring stronger and more clear connections to Deity. These are all goals toward which I have been traveling for some time now with as much focus as I can muster. And yet, synchronicity and the messages of my Guides are leading me to believe that the time has come to make a change. I am not being told to change the direction of my movement; oh no! That would be too easy, and I would miss the messages to be found within the things upon which I would be turning my back. Instead, I am being told to destroy the integrity of what I have built, to take apart what I have built and break each segment down to its lowest common denominator, thus restoring equality. The Two of Pentacles reversed, indeed!

This makes quite a bit of sense to me right now. Sometimes it is best to release and run, but in this instance I will be stronger and more confident if I muster the courage to examine my “building materials” and check out how they withstood the effects of my life this far.

Stay tuned for the next chapter.

Monday, March 23, 2009

This is actually yesterday's post. For some reason I could not get it to show up. A day late and a dollar short!!

Queen of Pentacles/Four of Cups reversed. I am moving in the right direction! This Queen is the Minor Arcana equivalent of my significator, The Empress, and it is finally appearing in an upright position for me. I am feeling today as if my material life and my family life are both on track. Luckily, my recent transformations seem to be enabling me to be aware of the blessings within my life, for even uncomfortable situations are blessings if we choose to see them that way.

I received some interesting insights this weekend during conversations with my sisters in law. It is interesting to me that despite the level of knowledge about myself that I am achieving, I still misinterpret things, especially when dealing with those that I care for deeply. In many ways, talking about one’s spouse or significant other with ones inlaws can be like walking through a mine field; dangerous. But sometimes a piece of information that comes up casually during a conversation can serve to shift ones viewpoint just enough, as if a night light suddenly comes on, allowing the shapes of the contents of a dark room to be seen.

Another interesting tidbid that I found out this weekend is that my husband’s niece, who has become quite the medium and who talks about astral travel and ghosts as run of the mill and common experiences, has seen our ghost here at Cape May. Maxim has confirmed that our Miss Pauline sits at the top of the stairs when we are all in the living room, watching us. Max sees her all the time! That is the fourth person who has confirmed that Miss Pauline lives with us.

Last but not least, one of the bald eagle eggs in the nest I have been watching via the Virginia Botanical Gardens website hatched yesterday, and the other egg is “pipped” (has a little hole in it through which the little baby bald eagle is making little peeping noises as it breaks itself free from its shell). I have been brought to tears several times today, as I sit here listening to music (right now, a CD called “Between Two Worlds”), looking into my yard that is filled with the very first flowers of Spring. Part of me is filled with the joy of the renewal and energy of new life, and part of me is sorrowing for the death of an inlaw this afternoon. Margaret, you lived 97 years (!!), you saw so much of the world, and you leave behind incredible children and grandchildren. Journey on now, Margaret. We will follow when we can. May you be born again at the same time and in the same place as those you knew and loved in this life. May you know them again and love them again.

To everything, turn, turn, turn . . . .

Friday, March 20, 2009

The Magician reversed/Ten of Swords. Well, I never thought I would be happy to see the Ten of Swords in a reading, but there you go! All things are possible! I am still dealing with a disconnect, but it seems that my focus has become all-encompassing rather than specific. Combined with that Ten, I believe I am making progress. Today, the challenges that have been poking at me will finally run out of gas. Now, I can start rebuilding myself, making myself even better than before. I am being told where my focus should be turned first: inward. Today, I am not to focus on the physical world, the power of the elements, and the ways that I can access those powers and use them to change my outer environment; today I need to ponder the mysteries, to think about the past week, and to try to see in detail how I have changed and grown.

Happy Ostara!! What a lovely “Ostara moment” I had this morning when I got to work. Let me preface this by saying that every morning when I first arrive at my office, I go to the window (which faces East) and I perform a three-breath meditation while looking at a small patch of wild area next to a highway, visible from the window. LOL, this morning when I first looked out the window, it was snowing! Big, fat, fluffy flakes, floating gracefully down from a gray sky. What a lovely dance those snowflakes were performing for me, like ballerinas in white costumes! But here is the cool moment: as I stood there, performing my meditation, the Sun suddenly broke through the clouds! I smiled as the golden light brightened enough to hurt my eyes, and let the warmth of the Sun soak into me for a few moments, as the snowflakes continued to drop. Then the clouds came back, but I had experienced my connection to balance, and to the coming warmth.

Blessed be!!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Ace of Swords reversed/Three of Swords. Today I am being told, or warned I should say, that a situation that is not new needs to be addressed. The Ace of Swords represents a double edged sword that is used with conscious and premeditated intention, and can represent the potential for achieving new enlightenment by successfully overcoming upcoming challenges. This Ace can warn of the approach of this type of challenge, alerting a Seeker to be aware of and prepared for the approach of possibly unsetting energies, or when reversed, it can tell a Seeker that the potential for such events is fading, or that the Seeker is not handling the events in a positive and effective way. The Ace of Swords tells of the presence of quite a bit of power; what it does not tell us is how effectively or ethically that power will be used. That is the job of the other Swords Minor Arcana cards. Unfortunately, my other card, the Three of Swords, is also warning me; it is warning me of the potential for logic and power to cause or bring me some kind of pain or hurt. What I need to remember is that forewarned is forearmed, and that sometimes pain and discomfort are necessary; pain is a great motivator! Hopefully I will see my way through whatever this day brings me, and wake up tomorrow morning feeling more confident and empowered because I chose today to make lemons into lemonade.

I looked over my cards for the past week, and I see a pattern. Over the past 8 days I have thrown five 6 cards in a row (only one of which was reversed, the other four upright cards were Cups and Wands), four Queens (three of which were Pentacles reversed), and three 5 cards (two Wands and a Pentacles). The balance that is happening is within my emotional and creative self. However, I seem to be neglecting or shifting my focus away from material affairs and “inner housecleaning,” and perhaps that is what I have been missing over the past week.

Okay, now I feel a little better. Let me tell you, my heart jumped when I saw that Three of Swords this morning. That is the one card in the entire Tarot that I really don’t like. I can deal with the chaos of The Tower, the binding addiction of The Devil, and even the hidden dishonor of the Seven of Swords much easier than the heartbreak of that Three of Swords. Not that I want any of them, but I have always had self-confidence issues, and this card really “cuts close to the heart,” if you know what I mean. All you Tarot enthusiasts out there know the usual image of this card: a heart or flower pierced by three swords, and usually there is some blood involved. But you know what? I have come a long way. I am a knowledgeable and powerful witch; I can make all of this turn out good.

My horoscope is a little more encouraging: “The day ahead should be excellent. You've been searching for meaning behind recent events in your life. No doubt, there have been a lot of changes both on the job and at home. And you are bursting with new ambitions. Today, dear Sagittarius, you're likely to put all these new experiences into a mixing bowl, stir them up and be grateful for the thrilling life you are leading right now! You may not have any specific answers, but sometimes feeling grateful is an answer all its own.” I can do grateful!!

I went to a craft store last night to actually see and hold some different gages of copper wrapping wire, so that I know exactly what I want to work with. I also bought two small packs of the two gages that seem interesting to me, so that I can play with them both a bit before buying them in more quantity through a wholesaler. I played with my logo a bit, too, reducing it to see how small I could go without loosing effectiveness (pretty small, and it still works), and thought about hang tags and explanation cards, particularly for my Reiki charged beach glass. Baby steps are a good thing!

I have another good weekend coming up in Cape May. Last weekend we had a positively witchy baker and her man stay with us; yep, there was a groovy red Volkswagen Beetle parked in our driveway all weekend! This weekend all of my sisters-in-law and I will be having a “girls’ weekend.” We call ourselves the White Sisters, LOL, because we are so pale when we first go out onto the beach in the early Summer. We try to get together without men or kids every Spring, and usually go shopping (no!! really?), we try to see a few chic flics in the movies, and out to dinner on Saturday night (Freida’s CafĂ©, here we come!!), and then sit up and drink rum and fruit blender drinks and talk about our men. How good is that??!!??

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The Magician reversed/Queen of Swords reversed. Oy. Reversed cards! I am being told that I am not connecting with my ability to take advantage of the energies of the elements and of both positive and negative, ebbing and flowing, surges. It seems that I am also being told that I am thinking about things in the wrong way. I should not be analyzing, I should be going with the flow. My over-thinking of every situation and my striving to prepare for every possibility are both acting as barriers. Once that barriers are removed, I will be able to “create something out of nothing.” Yep, that is what I am trying to do already, create something out of nothing. But fear is the mind-killer . . . .

This has been an interesting Winter for me. I have been hit across the forehead by the metaphysical two by four several times since the year began, and I am just now finding that sometimes I am not seeing double. I guess that's progress. Why is it that my inner growth always has to involve having the rug pulled out from under me? Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. The feeling that I end up with once I drag myself back up to my bruised knees is more than worth the sudden knockdown. I guess I just happen to be within one of those timeperiods that I will always value but never want to relive. But since incredible things have happened for me in the past through these very types of timeperiods, I am looking ahead at what is to come rather than brooding over what has happened already.

I finally feel as if Spring has sprung, and finally . . . finally!!! I am feeling energy and pep and enthusiasm fill me. As I stated in my previous entry, 2009 is my year of change and growth. I am in the early processes of creating a business. Yep, I know; not a good year for this, but hey! When the time is right, ya gotta try. I have done a bit already: I reserved a domain name for five years (if I can’t get it done in five years, then maybe I’m not supposed to do it), I applied for a tax ID number, and I made a logo, at least version one of a logo. I am accumulating materials so that I can begin “playing,” and I hope to have finished product in my hot little hands by the end of May.

What is my product, you ask? As I initiate my business, I will be creating unique, one of a kind, Reiki charged beach glass and semi-precious cabochon jewelry, wrapped in copper wire, and I will also be offering Dominican amber and larimar pieces, personally selected by moi, and brought to you direct from the mountains of the Amber Coast of the Dominican Republic. Where I go from there? Art?? Tarot?? Something else?? Only the Goddess and God know.

I am aiming for an official launch on the Summer Solstice, and oh boy, my hands are shaking as I actually write this. Words are so very powerful, and as far as I am concerned, they are the bridge between ideas and manifestation. That makes my hitting the “Publish Post” button an act of magick!! *beats chest with fists and yells*

Maybe I'll even figure out this blog thing.

Enough random wandering through the dusty corners of the recesses of my mind for one day.

Monday, March 16, 2009

In the beginning . . . .

. . . . there was just me. No questions, no answers, and certainly no blog. But that was the first 50 years. Glad they are over and done with!

Who says you can't teach an old dawg new tricks? I have some questions now, and I am even getting a few answers, although most of the time those answers just create new questions. I have email addresses, I have been in chat rooms and held conversations on Instant Messenger. *gasp* I even own a domain name. No big deal to most, but amazing progress for me.

2009 is my year for change. It is my year for growth. It is my year for courage. This blog represents the courage part.