Thursday, August 26, 2010
The Lovers has a personal significance to me, and usually tells me that one of my Guides, the Archangel Uriel, is watching me or trying to tell me something. Of course, the question is am I blocking His voice, or is He not yet ready to contact me? Add to that, this is the 111th post for this year; any groups of digital 1's always shout "Uriel is here!" My eyes are open, and I am watching.
My Thoth card is the Eight of Disks reversed. The “Prudence” card, corresponding with Sol (the heart of a situation and personal power) in Virgo (“I serve,” practical, sensible, work and service oriented), and it tells of putting things away for a rainy day, of the knowledge that the work is done and we have merely to wait for the right moment to harvest, and of the value of doing nothing. Because it is reversed, those concepts may not be easily applied today, and I may need to remember that being penny wise could also be pound foolish.
My Legacy card is the Three of Wands reversed, flavored by The Star reversed. In an upright position, the Three of Wands (Sol in Aries (“I want,” action oriented, pioneering, assertive)) is about establishing personal power, and about using confidence in one’s own abilities to plan for the future. The Star in an upright position corresponds with Air, Aquarius (“I know,” friendships, the group, society), Tsadi (fish hook; experience or thought), and the Path between Yesod (emerging patterns and images which may manifest into the physical world of action and outer reality) and Netzach (the stimulating factors of emotion and inspiration), and foretells the potential for a new dawn to appear after darkness and destruction. Since the Three of Wands is reversed and it is being flavored by The Star reversed, I need to remember that the plans and choices already made may not be manifesting quite yet, and I will need to be patient; also, I will need to expend every effort to **not** allow pessimism to rule the day.
Well, that Two of Swords sure seems to be ruling the rest of the cards I threw today! Some additional information about the Two of Swords: it can represent contradictory characteristics in the same nature, strength gained through suffering, and pleasure after pain. Sacrifice and trouble may be affecting the day, yet strength arises from those sacrifices and troubles. This Two can also indicate a truce created, or peace restored, a satisfactory arrangement of differences, or justice. Twos are dual and polarized, and the Two of Swords can tell of truth and untruth, of doing injury while meaning well, or of repeating errors after being pardoned. Interestingly, the Two of Swords also indicates the feeling of sorrow and sympathy for those in trouble, the offering of aid to the weak and oppressed, and unselfishness.
My 6-digit date number is 8, which represents the response to the beginning of degeneration of the number 7, and the attainment of a lesser, more temporary balance.
My horoscopes: “Some new information about an interesting field could have you browsing the Web and looking through books to learn more, Sagittarius. This could involve law, philosophy, history, or spirituality. You could find so much that you want to take notes or make a lot of photocopies. Don't tire yourself out, and try to keep track of time. You might miss dinner or get to bed very late.”
And: “Softening your bluntness with humor is great today -- if you can hold your temper long enough, that is. You're more inclined to be combative than usual, and you might also exaggerate things a bit more. You want things your way and you're more than willing to work hard. It's an active position that helps you move forward and get tons done. Try to keep your cool!”
And: “Don't take things at face value today. There are unexpected elements brewing below the surface that you might not recognize at first, yet that need to be noticed at some point. There may be a temptation for you to be superficial about certain things that actually call for a deeper understanding. Open your eyes up a bit wider to realize what is truly going on.”
Mercury is in retrograde, and I have been trying to hold myself back from beginning the next phase of personal study that synchronicity is indicating is correct. The need to get to work is becoming overwhelming, and so this morning I did a little research about just what we should and should not be doing in order to take advantage of the energies associated with Mercury’s retrograde phase.
The planet Mercury corresponds with reason, intelligence, writing, orderliness, education, skill, and communications of all kinds. The planet itself is Airless, and it is the fastest moving planet; Mercury revolves around the sun in about 88 days, and only spends a fraction more than a week in each astrological sign. Mercury is only visible with the naked eye for a short time, either around sunrise or sunset, each day. Thus, Mercury can also be said to influence those events and effects and concepts that are in our immediate vicinity.
Mercury is said to be cold and dry, and medically, it is associated with the nervous system, the brain, the respiratory system, the thyroid, and the sense organs. It is linked to animal spirits, day-to-day influences, and the third and sixth houses of astrology. Its energies are unemotional, opportunistic, and curious; in fact the action associated with Mercury is taking things apart and then putting them back together again.
Here is some information I found on a website called “Astrostar”:
When Mercury moves retrograde, it appears to move backwards - as seen from our perch on planet earth. The key is to remember the significance of Mercury's retrograde motion. Mercury is the planet of communication, thought, and mental energy. During Mercury retrograde periods, the energy is flowing inward and backwards. As a result, it doesn’t function as efficiently in the everyday world as it normally does.
There are many reasons why the Mercury retrograde period is not a time to push forward. Your mental energy is channeled into an inward direction now. As a result, communications are less clear. There is a greater tendency to hear what we think we heard rather than what the other person said. Items involved with communication and local transportation, such as telephones, computers and cars, are more apt to have glitches. (Remember to back up the computer and double-check your appointments). Lastly, your perspective is likely to change when Mercury changes direction and resumes its direct motion.
Which is why most astrologers counsel their clients not to sign important contracts during that period.
But Mercury’s retrograde energy is an asset for many things. Use it for what it is designed to do and Mercury becomes your ally.
This is the time to look up old friends and family. Chances are they will be receptive and you’ll be glad you did. And you, yourself, may hear from long lost pals now.
While it is not the time to go forward with grand plans, this is a superb time to research facts and ideas you can use later.
Take that application or take your business plan and give it a second look. Chances are you will see things in a different light, and that can give you ideas to strengthen it. And that second look will ensure you have covered the bases.
If you were too hasty the first time, or you chose not to follow my advice, you may find yourself having to redo that report. But each time you redo, you refine.
Your brain and your body were not designed to function 24/7. Taking a little time to kick back and relax refreshes you and ultimately makes you far more productive than trying to plow straight through.
Go back and clean up old relationships that ended badly. You can resolve many issues now – even bury the hatchet.
7. Back Burner items.
Now is the time to get to projects that have been pushed into the background.
Mercury Retrograde is an excellent time to clean out old closets, old files, old agendas, throw out what is no longer useful to make room for the new.
Are you in sales? Then, this is the perfect time to re-contact old leads.
Taken from www.astrostar.com.
Well, no wonder I am having trouble holding myself back from beginning a new phase of learning! I feel the need to reconnect with the elements and their effects within rituals and workings, and this would be a complete review of my current information and an augmenting of my understanding of the elements by researching them. Okay, sounds like this is the perfect job for me during Mercury’s retrograde phase. I just need to remember to re-check every theory that I come up with some time after Mercury goes direct on September 12th!
There are several interesting concepts to be found in my Tarot cards of the day, and in keeping with the energies of Mercury’s retrograde phase, I took care to add as much detail to my card interpretations as possible today. I learned some new shades of meaning for the Thoth Eight of Disks, and the Welsh Two of Swords. Yessssss!!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
My Thoth card is the Princess of Cups reversed. In an upright position, this Cups card is one of the few that Crowley seems to **not** have a bad opinion about. He sees her as calmly and serenely going about her business. People may think that she is shallow or empty because of her unshakable serenity, but actually she is the personification of the phrase “still waters run deep.” Because she is reversed, there may not be quite as much serenity to be found today as I would prefer, but the potential to be emotionally productive is there anyway.
My Legacy card is the Ten of Swords reversed, flavored by The World reversed. Hmmmm . . . yesterday I threw the Ace of Swords, and another Ten card in a reversed position. I see some patterns here. The Ten of Swords in an upright position is the end result of allowing the intellect to have free reign without balance: complete overkill. Just look at the traditional image of this card: what appears to be a dead body with ten swords sticking out of its back. One, or even two of them would have done the trick, but oh no!! We can’t have that, can we?! Since the card is reversed, any endings that may occur today (and from the looks of things, there won’t be many productive ones), won’t occur with the flavor of “woe is me,” which actually is a bit encouraging when I look at the Welsh Tarot cards I threw. Of course, this could also mean that any sudden or uncomfortable endings are a part of my evolutionary process, and I have been warned about the probability of that kind of discomfort already.
Well, since The World/The Universe has been showing up in a reversed position quite a bit for me lately, it just might be time for me to look at that card in more detail. This is the number 21 card of the Major Arcana, and that number reduces numerically to the number 3, which is about creating physical manifestation and about knowing your own location. The World tells of successful integration, self-regeneration and a dynamic arrival; it is about both death or ending and birth or beginning, and it is about thresholds. Interestingly enough, this card does not represent the ending of a linear journey; rather, it is better described as a circular path, and often the ending of one circuit and the beginning of another both become blurred, so it is only in hindsight that one can look back and see clearly where the transition happened. This card in an upright position tells me that I have experienced all that I need to experience in order to fulfill the potential of this cycle, and it reminds me that in order to fulfill the energies of the card, I need to go back to the beginning and start again. The card has been showing up reversed for me, and that reversed position could be warning of exhaustion, intolerance, stubbornness, weakness, or a delay.
The number 10 has a relationship to the correspondences of The World, and since I threw a reversed Ten card both yesterday and today with my Legacy Tarot, perhaps I need to remind myself about the meaning of this number, too. The number 10 represents the end of one cycle and beginning of another, closure, plateau or rest before moving on, culmination, transition point from one cycle to another (as the number 10 reduces to the number 1, 1 + 0 = 1), reaching the level of perfect combination of the 1 and 0 energies. This number offers the concept of the end Result of the application of the element, the sum total of everything done from the beginning, or the physical vehicle of the previous nine numbers. Traits: positive: individualistic, original, creative, inspired leader, good at initiating new projects, efficient and determined; negative: stubborn, rigid about personal ideas, jealous, depressed if caught up on the small details of life. My reversed Tens were Coins (Earth) and Swords (Air).
My 6-digit date number is 7, the pause that happens as degeneration begins.
My horoscopes: “Today is your day, Sagittarius, so live it up! If it seems like things have been rather intense lately, don't worry, they're apt to lighten up quite a bit today. Feel free to be your usual jolly self, the one who adds humor to the group. Your laughter will be appreciated. Come into the forefront. Bring things up to your level and you'll find that others willingly join you there.”
And: “If you need to shift gears, then you need to stop working. Close the spreadsheet, trash the to-do list and drop all work-related business. Don't just put them down, put them away for quite some time. You need some hardcore R and R, but with the roll you've been on recently, you might also need help loosening up -- a back rub, perhaps, or just a nice, long chat with a pal. Laughter has always been your best friend, so go find a playmate!”
And: “There is plenty of air to fuel your fire today, so make the most out of this opportunity. You are apt to have a great deal of energy with which to propel yourself into any adventure you wish to embark on. There are no excuses for laziness today, so get up and get moving. Find hidden strength in your sheer knowledge and ability to reason logically and rationally.”
Well, I have been told in no uncertain terms by Cernunnos that I have been neglecting my physical realm self and my physical realm duties. LOL, there is nothing wrong with being mystical, but every so often we need to ground and touch base with physical realm realities, and that is what I am doing today. I spent extra time with my chakras this morning, I am getting some organizational stuff done at work, and I am doing my best to wind down and tie off any loose ends, anywhere. Mercury is retrograde, after all, and while I am being pulled with increasing strength to begin working again with the elements in the context presented in Raven Grimassi’s book, now is not necessarily the right time to begin something new.
The crisis/moment of transformation/challenge that has been hinted at by my Guides would not fall under the category of “something new,” even though it might be preparing me to take the next step forward. LOL, if The Tower is any indication of the nature of the challenge to come, there will be some releasing and clearing out of the old and no longer useful going on, big time.
LOL, one thing I learned during my last cycle of learning is: go with the flow!!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
My Thoth card is the Nine of Cups reversed. The “Happiness” card reversed. Most see the upright Nine of Cups as a good card, but typical of Crowley, even in an upright position, this card carries a warning. It is indeed the Wish Card and brings a sense of accomplishment, but it warns us that the pleasures associated with this card are meant to be temporary, and sooner or later they must be released. The card is reversed, so I may not have much of a chance to benefit from these energies before leaving them behind.
My Legacy card is the Ace of Swords, flavored by the Ten of Coins reversed. The Ace of Swords represents the complex and powerful instrument that is the mind and the intellect. I am being reminded that not using my intelligence and knowledge and wisdom pretty much negates their presence, and I am also being reminded that in order to be strengthened, they all need to be used against a stronger force or flow. This Ace represents the potential for challenges, but the carrot at the end of the stick is that the solving or resolving of these challenges will bring growth. In an upright position, the Ten of Coins represents the final accumulation of wealth and health in the physical realm, but all that “stuff” comes with a warning: use it to create something new and beneficial, or be stuck carrying it around and protecting it from others. Perhaps that is my challenge today?
My Full Moon Pearls of Wisdom card is the Page of Pentacles. The Pages are the messengers who carry to us the message of the Ace of their suit, and this Page is no exception. He tells me how to be today. I need to focus intensely on the job at hand, I need to record my experiences, and I need to strive to learn the skills I need in order to bring about my own initiation. If I am truly ready, my Teacher will appear. **smile** How true this is.
My 6-digit date number is 6, the number of vertical and horizontal balance.
My horoscopes: “The fire within you is raging today, Sagittarius, and you should be careful how you wield this power. Be proud and triumphant. Walk with your shoulders back and head high. Freedom is important, but make sure that others don't interpret it as you not caring about a person or situation that's actually quite meaningful to you. Let your heart speak openly and honestly.”
And: “You're a natural authority figure -- at least as far as you're concerned. That's usually good for you, and your instincts are usually right on -- but for now, listening to outside advice could be a good idea. In fact, you might actually need to seek someone out if you want to make your plans work. Choose that one person you're sure can find a happy medium between the hard and fast rules and their own intuition.”
And: “Transformations that are taking place in your life right now are apt to have a dramatic effect on your romantic relationships. The good news is that these relationships should change for the better. Regardless of where you are with a close partnership, you should expect that it will grow deeper and much more meaningful for you at this time. Even if you find yourself breaking up with someone, keep in mind that this is probably for the better.”
The Pagan Brain Trust met to perform an empowerment ritual last night, and it was incredible. We each practice some form of Paganism, and the cool thing is that the other three seem to be drawn to much of what Wicca is, but don't want to be dedicated to any Tradition. One is a Yoga teacher who connects with the Vedic Tradition as far as its connection to Yoga, but she is striving to integrate the meanings behind the teachings into her own Wiccan flavored Paganism. One says that she was always known as the “Pagan asshole” because she could never fit into any specific tradition, and yet is drawn to the Wiccan frame of practice; she is the one among us who first began connecting the Internet with magick, but our Shaman has gravitated to this practice as well. One is dedicated to Bhride and has an intensely strong and personal relationship with Her, yet is training intensely in Shamanism from a local, well-established practitioner. And then, there is me, the Wiccan Priestess who has found in Wicca an intensely powerful tool for connection to Deity and evolution of self. The nice thing is that we each value our own viewpoint, and we each are very happy that the others (1) have different viewpoints, because we learn from the others, and (2) don't want to form a coven, for then we would need to accept a core group of Deities, and none of us want to share. LOL!! Yet, we are a family, and we can do amazing workings.
Our working was part Shamanism and part Wicca, and involved raising a cone of energy through music and sound, and then releasing the charged energy through a custom made sigil which was sent as an email at the ultimate moment. The focus of the ritual happens today, and I am certain that in the end, victory will be achieved, no mater what today’s outcome turns out to be, as we amassed quite a bit of energy!
I have been told by my Patroness that I have let too much time go by without performing my own rituals, and so I will be doing my own Full Moon Esbat this evening, after my dance class. How right it is that I offer worship to the Goddess after performing and teaching others Her dance!
One part of The Wiccan Mysteries jumped out at me today. It reads as follows:
In an attempt to communicate with the Totality of Divine Consciousness, Wiccans divined Deity into its feminine and masculine polarities or aspects, which they call Goddess and God. We can break this down into the Goddess-current and the God-current. These currents also flow, to varying degrees, within the souls of all humans regardless of gender. The Goddess-current tends to be more open and mutable while the God-current tends to be more directive and fixed. The Goddess is the balance to the God, and He is the balance to Her. Without Her the God would be a judge without compassion, He would be stern without understanding, He would control without loving. Without the God, the Goddess would have compassion without direction, understanding without foundation, love without form. The God and Goddess complete each other, and together they are the One True Creator and Maintainer of the Universe.
“The Wiccan Mysteries: Ancient Origins and Teachings,” by Raven Grimassi; page 168.
Oh my. That paragraph really speaks to me.
Monday, August 23, 2010
My Thoth card is the Eight of Cups. “Indolence” and a lack of interest are what Crowley sees in this card, and while it tells of success, it also predicts that the achievement of success will not remain quite so interesting once it is in hand. The success could possibly loose its thrill because of some excessive journeying from place to place that may be a part and parcel with the success being achieved. Interestingly enough, hermaphrodites are associated with the number 8, and I have two 8’s today, one upright and one reversed. Sine the number 8 tells of the pause that comes with an attempt to restore balance, it appears that the pause will be more beneficial on the emotional plane than on the physical, for whatever that is worth.
My Legacy card is The Emperor (again!), flavored by The World reversed. Hmmm . . . The World reversed has been showing up quite a bit for me lately. And today, **two** Emperors. Okay, then. Marchetti has this to say about The Emperor. His job is to bring structure and order to the creations of The Empress, and he does so because he has the authority to do so. The Emperor has sufficient force to instill and maintain law and order, and he presents rules and structure to every situation. He leads with confidence, supervises with intelligence, and counsels with wisdom. He is the archetype of the Father, and I think he has a specific message for me today as he appeared twice. However, his purpose will probably not have anything to do with winding up, not quite yet, for although The World has appeared today and thus, its energies are present, the card is reversed.
My 6-digit date number is 5, the number of motion that is uncomfortable but prevents stagnation.
My horoscopes: “Sagittarius, if there's something interesting that you've wanted to try, this is a great day for it. Adventure brings excitement, creative flow, and energy, which are essential to you. You're highly artistic. Continual stimulation is required to keep your psyche healthy. Experience something new today, even if it's a walk in a new place. You'll get the adrenaline you need.”
And: “You've worked hard for quite a while on a big project that you can hardly imagine ever finishing, but endings can be good. That's especially true if you're in a hurry to move on to something new -- which is so often the case with you. If you're still vying for the attention of someone in authority, you need to start dropping hints. Let them know you're getting close and you need their expertise.”
And: “A strong desire to get away might be plaguing you throughout the day, though responsibilities at home might prevent you from doing so right now. Don't allow yourself to get too frustrated. If you really want to get away for a while, set a future date and plan for it. Sometimes the planning can be as exciting as the going! Also, you might receive some information that sparks a new interest. Enjoy it!”
Well, it has certainly been an interesting couple of days. My Patroness warned me on Friday that a Challenge (and LOL, the way She said it, the word had a capital “C” fer sher) was on its way, and sure enough, an old ugliness from the past has attempted to reinfect me. I am angry, but hey; I’ve grown a lot since then, and I am determined to let it all fade away.
I also had some exciting stuff present itself to me, and I believe I have found the focus for the next round of The Great Work. I am reading Wiccan Mysteries: Ancient Origins and Teachings by Raven Grimassi (thank you, Storm, my Sister!!!), and while I don’t necessarily agree 100% with everything that Grimassi presents in this very valuable book (which in itself is pretty darned incredible), I am being drawn with amazing strength to probe deeper into his chapters on Watchers, Elementals and the Wiccan Rites. I am still in my first read of these chapters, but there is much food for thought to be found there, and I am pretty certain that with some work, I will be able to add to my own experiences with the Elementals (and the elements) in ritual. More to come on this.
We have an emergency Pagan Brain Trust meeting tonight. One of our members needs support and protection, and that is what we will offer. I have some ideas myself for some supportive workings, and we will be making use of the Interwebs as well; I am convinced that we will create something incredible.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
My Thoth card is the Prince of Cups reversed. Crowley’s Prince (Knight) of Cups is reversed, and since I see the Thoth Tarot as connecting with my own energy body and its interfacing with my environment, I will need to strive to balance this reversed Prince and the upright Knight from my Welsh cards. Crowley sees this Prince as appearing serene, but this outer layer of serenity hides the seething emotions and ruthless focus beneath the surface. Because the card is reversed, I may be able to more readily access the more positive traits of this card as presented in the Welsh Tarot, and shut out the more negative aspects presented in this Thoth Prince.
My Legacy card is the Knight of Swords reversed, flavored by The World reversed. In the Legacy Tarot, the Knight of Swords in an upright position is about idealism. The thing about idealism is that it really is a two-edged sword; hence its association with the mercenary, I-will-manifest-my-sign-in-the-purest-fashion-at-any-cost personality of the Knights in general, and this Knight, which is of the suit of Swords, the element of Air and the intellect, in particular. Because the Knight is reversed, and because it is being flavored by The World reversed (which in an upright position tells of connecting with ones place in the Universe), and because it accompanies The Hierophant in my card throw for today, I need to keep in mind that while idealism can be a marvelous fuel that allows incredible achievements, if I force my own ideals on another, no matter how noble my intentions, that idealism immediately becomes manipulation. And that,, my friends, is a no-no in Wicca.
My 6-digit date number is 2, the number of balance and manifestation.
My horoscopes: “It won't be surprising if you're frustrated with a close friend or partner who's far less ambitious than you, Sagittarius. The energy in the air can emphasize your dynamic ways of reaching goals and achieving success. Others who are passive or fearful may be difficult for you to understand. Yet people have to do things in ways that are best for them. Try to be patient.”
And: “Your people may be getting a little sick of excuses. They want face time, and they want it now -- even if you do have to get up early in the morning. They probably do, too! They haven't had the right kind of fun for too long -- and it's your job to entertain them, so go for it! Get out and play tonight -- if not for yourself, then for your (somewhat needy) admirers. When was the last time you made time for your fans?”
And: “There is no end to what needs to be done. Today you might find yourself feeling overwhelmed by the minutia of everyday life. You are busy helping children with their homework, helping out with household chores, all the while trying to keep your own projects afloat. You'd like to have a nervous breakdown, but simply don't have the time for it. Keep your sense of humor. Recognize that you already have what matters most in life.”
I have been filled with the most lovely energy since Tuesday. I see this energy as a pure connection to the Sacred Feminine, the energy and awareness that is Goddess. The sensation connected with this energy consists of a hum that resonates through my entire body and through my non-physical sheaths; the vibration of that hum enhances my awareness of the workings of all four of my bodies, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual, and provides a vehicle which brings an ability to sense the true harmony that is offered when each of those bodies is resonating with the others in a healthy manner. These are the moments of The Sun of the Tarot (and LOL, anyone who follows my blog on a regular basis knows that I think in Tarot analogies); warm but not too hot, bright but not hurting the eyes, calm but aware, relaxing but energized, beautiful but realistic. I always remind myself to add to that list one other concept: potent but temporary.
The Sun of the Tarot corresponds with the element of Fire, which is about transformation and change. Fire is one of the pure elements which has to do with extremes, with separating and with shaping, and it not only has the power to act, but it naturally rises and expands. The Sun corresponds with our own sun, the center of our solar system and the reason that we are able to exist on our world, and thus, it corresponds with the inner core of a person or a situation, and with my own deepest self and my personal power, which has the ability to influence my surroundings. It corresponds with the Hebrew letter Resh, or the face, which is connected to the concept of reason; and it corresponds with the Path between Yesod, where patterns and images emerge which have the potential to manifest into the physical world of action and physical, outer reality, and Hod, which provides the ability to analyze and communicate, and thus to understand, on the Tree of Life.
This feeling I am experiencing is also directly connected to the alchemic Great Work, and the Rubedo phase. The Rubedo is a time of integration, where I make use of and experience the skills and knowledge and wisdom and connections that I achieved during to the other phases of the Great Work.
Numerologically, this time corresponds to the number 6 in Crowley’s Naples Arrangement, a time of both vertical and horizontal balance, a temporary condition achieved through awareness and strength, but one that is lovely to experience. The cool thing is that my 6-digit number for today is 2, another number of balance, but this is a more immature or accidental balance, as opposed to the vertical and horizontal balance of the number 6, achieved through experience and awareness and power. That means I’m not at my peak just yet.
My Tarot cards today do not seem to directly reflect what I am feeling, at least on the surface, but when I look at the past few days and the Major Arcana cards I threw, the place that I am right now makes sense. First came The High Priestess, and the initial connection with and identification of this lovely hum. Then came The Star, where I used this energy of the Sacred Feminine as a catalyst to create healing within me. Now, when I am reaching the point where the balance is beginning to age and will soon be counterproductive to me if I try to hang onto it, I throw The Hierophant, the Teacher, the Spiritual Guide who shares his own learning, knowledge and wisdom with others, and in the process crystallizes for himself what he knows and believes.
I absolutely adore this incredible connection to the Sacred Feminine. I am wallowing in it. But I do realize that it is temporary, and like the energies of the number 10 as described in the Naples Arrangement, and like the description of who and what The Hierophant really manifests as, the time has come for me to take The Sun and its energies and use them as building blocks to create something new. That is the only way to own them; that is the only way to gain the authority to use them, and that is the only way to step up onto the next rung of my own evolution.
I guess striving to understand the source of my uneasiness of late has brought positive results. Change is indeed stability, and stability needs change in order to exist.
**smiles, closes her eyes, and tips her face upward; as her skin warms she plans her next move**
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
My Thoth card is the Seven of Swords reversed. Hmmm . . . two of those today. My first throw of the Welsh Tarot tends to connect with or reference my conscious self, and my Thoth card tends to connect with or reference my aura and its connection or bridge between my energy body and the outside world. The two cards together may just be an indication that it is the bridge between the realms that is a beneficial focus for me today. Crowley calls this card “Futility,” and he sees this card as being weak and passive, like a “has been” boxer trying to achieve a comeback. Knowing that this Seven corresponds with the Moon helps us to understand its energies; the element of Water weighs down the element of Air, and weakens it.
My Legacy card is the Six of Coins reversed, flavored by the Seven of Wands. The Six of Coins is about the awareness of resources of all kinds. It follows the Five of Coins, and its realization that we don’t have (or we believe that we don’t have) what we need. The Six is the next step, the striving to identify what we really have and what we need to continue, and it is not only about what we personally need for ourselves, but also about what we have of value that could be offered to others. The Seven of Wands is a personal power card for me, and I see it as representing both a threshold or gateway ~and~ a gatekeeper who guards the gateway so that only those who are ready may pass. This Seven manifests the weakness or beginning of degeneration that each Seven contains, but it also tells of mental fortitude and the wonderful achievements that can be attained with its application. Indeed the gatekeeper will not let us pass until he pushes us past our limits; that is the only way to determine if we are ready for what lies within. Because it is flavoring my Six of Coins reversed, I may need to think about both what I need to give and what I need to receive in order to approach the threshold and the gatekeeper.
My 6-digit date number is . . . drum roll please! Seven!! I guess the number 7, and its connection to the beginning of the degeneration of the balance of the number 6, is important to me today!!
The suit of Swords corresponds to the element of Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts) and to the powers of the mind and the intellect that allow us to solve challenges and learn in the process. The Seven of Swords in an upright position describes the efforts to maintain a situation that is showing the early signs of becoming too old or not useful any more. Usually it indicates efforts to maintain that cross the line into unethical territory. Today, I may not need that kind of focus, and that is a good thing because sometimes we waste quite a bit of energy holding on to things that we would be better off releasing.
My horoscopes: “You have lots of energy and self-confidence, Sagittarius. That's wonderful, but it may also put you at greater risk for dangerous experiences and accidents. You could find that you're much more aggressive, especially if someone crosses you. An emotional irritation could manifest in physical ways like reckless driving or arguments with people who don't deserve your anger.”
And: “You're being swallowed up by the good energy of the universe, but knowing you, it's something you've just got to share. What seemed at first like an awkward situation is now simple to smooth over, and whatever has been going well now takes an even sweeter turn. Embrace your friends and those you've had trouble with in the past, and when you do, your karma gets a tremendous boost. It's a great cycle to take part in!”
And: “You should certainly feel free to speak your mind today. You may have a lot of worries troubling you, and find that exposing them to the light of day makes them seem suddenly less threatening. Be sure to choose a close friend to open up to. And if it feels good, by all means, unburden yourself more often!”
One of the main focuses of the last stage of the alchemic Great Work is the integration of all that was learned throughout the cycle. I am being reminded today that I can’t begin the next cycle and reach for the next rung on the ladder until I have completed the integration process of the Rubedo. Indeed, the word means “the fusing of ingredients” and if I don’t complete the process the end result will not be “cured” and ready to be a strong foundation.
Part of this integration process, a good part, has to do with my spiritual life. Yes, I have made changes in my physical world; I have lost over 20 pounds and I am felling physically strong and fit because I have made Yoga and Belly Dance Stretch a part of my daily life. The changes that I impose are easier to deal with (even if they take a bit of willpower to maintain).
It is the changes in my life that are the result of the Paths of others that are a bit unsettling. For example, one of the natural progressions of the Lessons and Degree Training and Extension Classes at Sacred Mists is that the further our students move through the Training processes, the greater number of students there are that fall by the wayside. Some have found that Wicca in general or Sacred Mists in particular are not to be their focus going forward, and there is no harm in that. Some find that they just don’t want to do the work necessary to receive spiritual fulfillment from an experiential, mystery tradition. Some have some inner trauma that is being repressed, and the need for self-knowledge and personal growth that is attached to the process of moving deeper into Wicca may be bringing them closer to that trauma than they want to be. For whatever reason, the further I go into my own training, the more of my fellow Travelers seem to be disappearing. These disappearances are making me question my own path with more and more frequency, and actually, that is a good thing too, in the end. But right now, I feel somewhat lost and alone within my formal Training. Many of those who have been Traveling with me through my own Degree studies are gone, and a good portion of those who are still with me are experiencing their own personal turmoils. I expect that more of them will be changing direction and passing out of my experiences and my growth processes.
I know other Travelers who are not associated with Sacred Mists, who are dealing with their own turmoils and challenges and blockages. Lives are being turned upside down and inside out, all around me. Is it that so many of my family, friends and acquaintances are at similar life stages? Or are these turmoils evidence of an upcoming Shift that will affect us all? I can’t answer those questions; I can only support my fellow Travelers the best that I can, and continue onward with the Path that seems to work best for me, even if I end up Traveling alone because everyone else has found other Ways that better suit their current needs.
Change is stability, and stability needs change in order to exist. This is very, very important to remember, for if we attempt to hold onto the perfection of the moment, even beyond the effectiveness of that perfection, we will be going against the tides and cycles of energy that are life and existence throughout our universe. Indeed, one of the skills I am gaining from the Great Work in general and the Rubedo stage in particular is a more accurate awareness of the cycles of energy around me and the ability to make use of those cycles for my own personal growth. After all, a surfer can only make use of the energy of a wave at just the right moment after the wave tips over and begins its downward roar to the beach and the final disbursement of its power. After all, the only way we can walk, the only way we can take the next step forward, is to consciously choose to leave balance behind and tilt our body’s weight (or make it fall) in the direction we need to go. Precarious, yes; but effective!
Kowabunga!! Surf’s up!!
Friday, August 13, 2010
My Thoth card is the Six of Wands. “Victory” today, and I will be able to use the effects of the element of Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes) effectively today, mainly because I have done my homework and made my preparations. But the balance of today is not a permanent state, so I need to take advantage of it while it is available.
My Legacy card is the Five of Cups reversed, flavored by the Five of Wands. Two Fives today! And it sounds like there will be lots of crazy ebbs and flows of Fiery energy available to me, without any Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts) to weigh me down. The cup will be half full for me today; I won’t be focusing too much on the empty part of the cup, and there is a good chance that my inner self and my outer self may agree with each other. LOL, that could be a recipe for disaster, or at least a few minor bumps in the road, so I need to make use of the scattering of energies today, rather than trying to fight against them.
My 6-digit date number is 4, the number of stability.
My horoscopes: “An intense, emotional dream could move you so powerfully that you awaken with the odd sense that the dream was real. Write it down, Sagittarius. Maybe it is. Efforts to overcome obstacles and advance in business could finally pay off. You could walk around in a daze asking yourself if it really has happened. It has. Make the most of it, and don't be afraid to show your feelings.”
And: “Something big happens today while you're on the job, thanks to your discipline and effort. When you decide to take that next big step on your career path, you can expect better fulfillment, praise and, probably a bigger chunk of change in your paycheck. Give yourself a victory lap -- and spend more time with those close to you who haven't seen you in too long because of all your overtime.”
And: “Your mind may totally focused on work today. You might find yourself obsessing over some rather tedious but necessary tasks awaiting you tomorrow morning, which you're dreading. This isn't doing you any good, my friend. Distract yourself by phoning a friend, or by reading a book that totally engrosses you. If worse comes to worst, clean the house! Tomorrow is soon enough to think about job-related matters.”
I feel absolutely wonderful today! I must have been fighting some kind of virus, but last night Mystery gave me a distance Reiki treatment that seemed to have firmly ushered the virus right out of my system. In a meditation, Hecate (her Patroness) told Mystery that she should try using the images of roses placed in the Reiki recipient’s chakras as a method for applying distance Reiki, and She told Mystery to make use of the color correspondences for roses as she chooses the specific image for each chakra. Well, I can attest to the fact that it worked! I could still feel some of the roses this morning; the rose in each of my solar plexus and brow chakras were still buds almost opened and filled with fragrance, and the roses in my sacral and heart chakras were fully opened blooms, just past the fragrance stage but still crisp and beautiful. The coolest thing for me personally (besides the lack of discomfort!) is that today it is just one week since Hecate Herself requested a task from me, a task that I have not been 100% successful imposing on myself, I might add. Forming new habits takes a bit of time and effort, and now I know why Hecate responded with “as long as it takes” when I asked her how long I needed to greet the crossroads of dawn (eek!) and dusk each day. I have been pretty consistent with the dawn part, but dusk is in the middle of the evening and more often than not, I forget to say the chant She provided to me until almost bed time. How gracious Hecate is to reward me already for my efforts, even though I have a ways to go in order to meet my own standards, never mind Hers.
It has been a difficult week, mainly because of the extreme lethargy that plagued me each day since Monday morning. But I am happy that, while I was not able to punch through that lethargy even for a short time each day, I did fulfill my responsibilities this week. Bare minimum, but I did my best and that is what’s important. I am hoping that like a baseball batter who warms up with a weighted bat before stepping up to the plate, my efforts this week will enable me to have an awesome weekend.
Friday the 13th; awesome power day. I love it!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
My Thoth card is the Prince of Swords reversed. In an upright position, this Prince is seen to be highly logical, intensely clever and purely intellectual, but does not give preference to the best ideas; rather, they all tumble about equally. Because the card is reversed, I may be somewhat able to interject the other elements, at least a bit, in order to somewhat balance out the intense intellect that is this Prince.
My Legacy card is the Ace of Wands, flavored by the King of Cups reversed. The Ace of Wands is about energies that are similar to the Eight of Wands, or at least they have the potential to manifest in a similar fashion. This card tells me that I am about to receive a fresh and vibrant new wave of creativity and initiative. The King of Cups in an upright position is the expert at finding a new direction for the emotional fulfillment of all, and because the card is reversed, the Fiery potential of my Ace of Wands may not have to do with emotions and fulfillment, either mine or those around me.
My 6-digit date number is 3, the number of new manifestation from the effects of the numbers 1 and 2.
My horoscopes: “Someone who interests you could seem to be showing interest in someone else. This might arouse your insecurities and cause a bit of jealousy. Don't make yourself crazy, Sagittarius. All may not be as it seems. Try to discern the facts. Invitations to more than one social event on the same night might force you to make an uncomfortable choice. Make the one that suits you best.”
And: “What makes your heart pound? What sparks unlimited enthusiasm in you? Whether you're exploring a secluded beach in Mexico or networking with dozens of new people, make sure you get some excitement today. Your spirit is irrepressible -- and very nearly irresistible as well! Get out of the house, talk to everyone you meet and make some solid connections.”
And: “If only there were more hours in a day you would have a chance of doing everything you wanted to. Alas, you are allotted a mere 24, and have to do the best you can with that limited amount. Today you may feel real time pressure, as demands come at you from all sides. The office, home, your religious group and volunteer organization all could be clamoring for a piece of you. If you are not careful, there will be nothing left of yourself to give.”
I have not been feeling well this week; nothing specific, but lots of cycling unspecific symptoms, laced together by physical lethargy. Monday was exhaustion, Tuesday my nose and throat were sore, yesterday I had a headache, and today I feel uncomfortably bloated. Add to each day’s symptoms an overall heaviness and lack of energy, and what do we have? I sure don’t know, but at least the physical symptoms seem to be cycling downward and outward. *crosses fingers*
Our Pagan Brain Trust meeting was awesome, and finally we all seem to be getting back to the work of the group. Everyone had exciting progress to share, and by the time the meeting was nearly over, the energy we had raised with our enthusiasm and the sharing of our aha! moments was palpable. I really felt as if I could have scooped some of that energy up into a plastic container, snapped on the lid, and taken it home with me.
Last night, I went to Sharon’s house and redid the house cleansing that I had performed about two years ago. *smile* I love being able to do witchy things for my friends.
Tomorrow is Friday, and we are having a group of friends down to Cape May. Hopefully I will have a bit more energy by then.
Monday, August 9, 2010
My Thoth card is the Two of Swords reversed, and as I shuffled, a card flew right out of the deck, to land face up on the floor. It was the Ace of Cups! The Thoth Two of Swords in an upright position is known as “Peace,” but this peace is maintained by vigilance. Because the card is reversed, today I may not need to be as disciplined as usual regarding my own mind and intellect, but that does not mean I can be a slug all day. That Ace of Cups jumping out of my deck is reminding me to love myself, and to allow love to mix with intellect throughout the day.
My Legacy card is the Nine of Cups, flavored by the Three of Swords. Hoo-kay! Water and Air today fer sher. The Nine of Cups tells of satisfaction, but since the satisfaction is flavored by the Three of Swords, I need to remember the Gift of the Legacy of the Divine Nine of Cups: the heart teaches the mind!
My 6-digit date number is 9, the number of complete**ness**, and today is an 8-9-10 day!!
My horoscopes: “This is one of those days in which you're better able to stand back and look at your emotions intellectually, Sagittarius. Your freedom-loving nature isn't built to deal with heavy emotional baggage and turmoil, so don't bother trying. Be especially wary of those who seem to plop a problem in front of you and expect you to deal with it.”
And: “You usually strive to keep it positive, and today is no exception. It's sometimes crazy just how well it works out for you. Sometimes difficult situations can work out simply because you just know deep down that that's how it has to be, particularly when it comes to taking on new projects. Your energy pushes you to take risks today, so go for it. Your positive attitude means that everything should go well.”
And: “Your life has been changing for a while, and it hasn't always been easy for you. Today you're apt to be feeling the effects of this transformation more than you usually do, and wondering what on earth is happening to you. Don't let your doubts and insecurities about the future get blown all out of proportion. You can only take things one day at a time. Focus on a cherished goal, and move on ahead.”
I am feeling a wee bit out of it today, and I am having difficulty moving my mind away from a restful and fulfilling weekend. Bob and I have not had a weekend alone in Cape May for some time, and while LOL, we weren’t alone for much of the weekend, **we** chose what we wanted to do, without having to deal with anyone else’s needs or desires. Don’t get me wrong; we absolutely LOVE sharing our home with guests. But it is not often that we have a quiet weekend during the Summer, and this one was truly enjoyable.
The Pagan Brain Trust is getting together tonight, and LOL, this time I’m sure I have the right date. I have been a week ahead of myself since the middle of July, and I just can’t get my body clock to sync with the days and weeks. Hours I have, though; I started trying to connect with Mystery’s Hecate on Friday, saying a chant in Her honor at the crossroads that are dawn and dusk, and I have been able to wake up on my own each morning to connect with Her at right around dawn. Now all I need to do is remember the nighttime crossroad. I am usually pretty distracted then!
I think tonight we all have some exciting things to share; I will be bringing my mat, too.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
The Hermit reversed/Nine of Wands. Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes), Virgo (“I serve,” analytical, work and service oriented, practical), Yod (open hand; touch), and the Path between Tiphareth (the hub of the creation process where energies harmonize and focus to illuminate and clarify) and Chesed (crosses Da’ath; forms and structure are stabilized and nurtured) are all correspondences of an upright Hermit card, which tells of a time alone that is not fun. The Nine of Wands personifies the statement “that which does not kill us makes us stronger,” and it tells of active defense to the point of defiance, and the drawing of a line in the sand. I may not be achieving the energies of The Hermit, but I have reached the point where I won’t go any further until I do.
My Thoth card is the Nine of Swords reversed. Uncle Al calls this one “Cruelty,” and since I have an upright Nine of Wands and a reversed Nine of Swords, today I will need to focus on Balance within the meaning of the number Nine, as well as the individual meanings of the cards, especially the two Nines. In an upright position, the Cruelty card tells of analysis gone rogue and the resulting agony of the mind. Because it is reversed, I just may be able to balance that analysis with some information from outer sources, and thus avoid agony. The number Nine is about complete**ness** (as opposed to the comple**tion** of the number Ten), and it is about believing that we have it all. Of course, that can be both “all” good things and “all” bad things. The two Nines bring together the element of Fire and the element of Air; when elemental dignities are applied, these two elements (Fire is energetic, spontaneous and impulsive, and Air is quick, animated and intelligent) pretty much feed each other. The one opposing trait is impulsive/intelligent. I need to visualize the good things in order to solve the bad ones, and I need to balance out impulse with intellect.
My Legacy card is the Eight of Coins, flavored by the Eight of Swords reversed. Hmmm . . . two Eights, one reversed. Another message of Balance, but this time regarding the number Eight. The number Eight is the response to the beginning of the degeneration of harmony that is the number Seven (which happens to be my 6-digit number today). Within my Legacy cards, this renewal of Balance has to do with both the element of Earth and the element of Air; they happen to be opposites when you think about elemental dignities. Air is moist, quick and animated; it is intellectual and is usually associated with problems or challenges that can be solved by the use of the intellect. Earth is dry, physical, material and practical; it tends to be stable and slow to change.
My 6-digit date number is 7, the number of the pause that occurs as balance and harmony begin to age and degenerate.
My horoscopes: “Expected calls or deliveries may prove more trouble than they're worth, Sagittarius. You could get involved in endless games of phone tag, and deliveries might come when you're out. This can be avoided if you're prepared. Make sure everyone knows what you're expecting so they can watch for it. Tell people the best times to phone and be available at those times. Don't worry. You'll manage.”
And: “You need to feel connected to something bigger than your own mind. Now you're feeling an unmistakable pull toward the spiritual side of life, while your vital energy pushes you in the same direction. The mysteries of life are tremendous, and meditation on life's larger issues helps make your time here much sweeter and more fulfilling. Now is the time to tackle big, important topics.”
And: “Have you been feeling a little under the weather lately? If so, expect your former energy and well-being to come rushing back now like Niagara Falls. Your physical energy is high, and so is your creative energy. Don't be surprised if you spend every moment possible working on a project of your own that means a lot to you. The only caveat: you might not have recovered as much as you think, and might tire easily. Pace yourself.”
It has been a very, very strange week, filled with conflicts and chaos, and with what appear to be successful interventions and effective actions taken after much consideration of consequences. Today, I need to give my mind a rest, and the best way I know to do this (and to bring serenity and healing to my energy field) is to go outside and work in my garden. That is where I am heading, and I will immerse myself in the Healing Earth Mother, and absorb the warm and vibrant Energy of the Sun Father. I will be back, later today.
Back again, Sunday evening. Bob and I have had a really good, nicely healing weekend. I worked in my garden, we went to a local block party, we had dinner at our neighbors’ house, and after another day gardening, and then finishing up with almost three hours on the beach with neighbors, until almost 8 pm. I feel wonderfully healed; even though the strange eddies and flows of energies surround me, I am grounded and serene.
Tomorrow it’s back to reality, but I have a Pagan Brain Trust meeting tomorrow night. Can’t wait to see everyone.
Friday, August 6, 2010
The Magician reversed/Four of Swords. Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts), Mercury (reason, orderliness, intelligence), Beth (house; builder) and the Path between Binah (female receptive energy; the origin of form and structure) and Kether (the source; limitless possibility) are the correspondences of The Magician in an upright position, but since the card is reversed, today will not be a day of efficiently connecting with my ability to be a conduit between Divine energy and the effects of the elements. The Four of Swords tells of a time of truce or of a pause to regather, and today will be more of that kind of day, although the ability to take action will be in the background, just in case of emergency.
My Thoth card is the Three of Cups. “The Lord of Abundance,” and most likely, emotional abundance, may be presented today, most likely in a manner that binds or completes. This is a companionship card, and it tells me that I should allow myself to feel and be nourished by the connections I have to others.
My Legacy card is the Two of Wands reversed, flavored by The World. In an upright position, the Two of Wands generally presents the concept of personal power, and specifically to the Legacy Tarot, it tells of a choice that needs to be made now in order to take advantage of possibilities, and that choice happens through Will. Because the card is reversed, I am being warned that while the choice may present itself, the need to choose is not quite as imminent as it could be, and I should hold back a bit if I can. The World (Earth, cold/binds and dry/shapes; Saturn, discipline, responsibility, law and order; Thav, mark or sign; and the Path between Malkuth, the physical world of action and physical or outer reality, and Yesod, the emerging patterns and images that may manifest into Malkuth) tells of a synchronization of all that has been learned and attained, and perhaps I am being reminded that this synchronization can better happen today without too much interference by me.
My 6-digit date number is 6, the number of vertical and horizontal balance.
My horoscopes: “There may be a bit of opposition coming at you, Sagittarius. There's a light, airy feeling that's prevalent everywhere. This is definitely the kind of energy you can connect with today. There's a great deal of strength in numbers. Don't let anyone try to stand in your way. It could very well be that they are operating on incorrect information.”
And: “Your gut is smarter than your mind right now, so follow its lead when it comes to dealing with that vital relationship -- especially if it's shaky, or just hitting a rough patch for the time being. Look for the deeper causes underlying any big issues, instead of coming up with some superficial answer that doesn't really help in the long run. Set a date to sit down and talk things over if today isn't the best time for everyone.”
And: “Don't believe everything you hear. Chances are much of it is misinformation. Physically, you're probably feeling better and stronger than you have for a long time. However, today you might be experiencing the fallout from many stressful weeks on the job. Office politics might have drained you even more than they usually do. This is a great day to get out with some friends and see a movie - preferably a thriller or a romantic comedy.”
My 6-digit number may speak of balance, but today does not feel very balanced to me! No big issues, yet (*crosses fingers*), but there are hints of “discombobulation” within my divination and horoscopes. I feel a bit of a disconnect, and I am hoping that everything is going as it should. I have found in the past that “all’s quiet” does not necessarily mean “all’s well,” and I hope I am not thrusting a stick into the hornets’ nest by probing gently in order to determine if my spidey sense is correct.
A lovely update. It is Friday evening, and I am sitting on my front porch in Cape May with my dahling, listening to some great jazz and sipping my favorite sauvignon blanc. In over seven years of driving down to and back from Cape May, I have probably seen over a thousand deer, all does. Tonight, I saw not one, but two bucks! Helllloooooo, Cernunnos!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
My Thoth card is the Queen of Disks. I love the image on this card! This queen is seated and is serenely looking back and down onto her realm: the land bisected by a slowly winding river. She is Water of Earth, after all, and when you combine the stability of a flat landscape with the liquid that needs rough terrain in order to move fast, you get that nice, slow feeing that is the Queen of Disks. She has ambition, but only directed at useful goals; she is not necessarily intellectual, but she is very connected to her instincts; she is able to care deeply about people, and about the land around her. She is practical and slow to move, but she is content with that.
My Legacy card is The High Priestess flavored by the Six of Wands. My significator again! Today will certainly no be about attaining measureable or quantified or easily contained results, but it will be a powerhouse of a day, just the same. The High Priestess is the Guardian of the Gateway, and she protects the most ancient and powerful wisdom and hidden knowledge. Her task is to make certain that all who are allowed a glimpse of what lies within the Gateway are well-prepared to receive what is within, and she is a hard taskmaster. She reminds me that today I must be receptive, assimilating and aware in order to benefit from the energies presented. The Six of Wands tells me that everything is in my favor, and because I have done the work I needed to do thus far, I just might go to bed tonight with a satisfied smile on my face.
My 6-digit date number is 5, the number of movement that prevents stagnation.
My horoscopes: “Slow down and take a more reserved, sensitive, and calculated approach to things today, Sagittarius, especially when it comes to matters involving love and beauty. You'll find a greater level of sensuality waiting for you when you're willing to open up the door even wider. Go after the object of your desire, but make sure that your approach is sensitive and disciplined.”
And: “It may seem unnecessarily complicated -- really -- but now is a great time to keep quiet. Shutting your mouth isn't exactly normal for you -- after all, no one loves aimless chitchat quite the way you do -- but if you resist the impulse to overshare, you might just avoid catastrophe. Be sure to parcel out information sparsely so you don't see the situation slip away from you. Remember that silence is golden!”
The lesson for today is that being an effective spiritual mentor is not easy. It is not difficult to draw upon my own experiences and my own knowledge and my own wisdom, and then offer suggestions to someone I don’t know very well, but assisting someone who has become a dear friend, having the courage to even listen to their tale and then respond, is not quite the same.
This friend is expecting things from a relationship that she may not attain, and is feeling frustrated. Words tend to be empty in these situations, but words are all I have to offer, and I chose my words very carefully for I am quite aware that a casual statement can have unlooked for consequences, not always good ones.
And so I offered my words, the best I could gather together, and now I need to hope that the seeds I scattered fell on fertile ground. Now comes the hardest part: waiting for the seeds to germinate and take root. Yep, I can water them, and pull out the weeds that would compete for resources, and cultivate the soil so that tender shoots are not prevented from seeking the sun, but I cannot do more than watch and wait, and hope that the miracle will occur and the seed will sprout.
I think one facet of mentorship is understanding that there comes a point where any other assistance becomes manipulation, mainly because it will affect the outcome and taint the manifestation, neither of which are mine to affect or taint. I have been told that my Purpose is to bring Balance, but I am not to do the work for those I assist but merely provide the catalyst. It is up to these others to choose to do the work necessary to grow and be whole and healthy, or not to do the work. I can only offer the gift of an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on, and arms that can hug and a heart that can share the joy of victory.
No matter how deeply I care, in the end the best and most valuable gift I can offer is the opportunity for the other person to find their own way.
*Raushanna sighs, looks at her two High Priestess cards, and then puts her Tarot decks away*
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
My Thoth card is the Six of Disks. The “Success” card, but it is not by any means telling me that I can sit back and enjoy things! Success is always temporary, for the weight of the suit will inevitably impose inertia onto the whole situation unless I start adding my own energy as fuel.
My Legacy card is the Queen of Cups flavored by the King of Cups. The Queen of Cups is at ease in emotional situations, and is very much in touch with her Inner Voice. She is able to attune to ebbs and flows around her within all elemental effects, and her strengths are found within focuses on general health, creativity and aesthetics. She is being flavored today by her king, who is a bit more removed and aloof from the emotions around him, but that enables him to see the surrounding emotions in a more objective fashion that his queen, and thus he is able to better see when new directions are needed.
My 6-digit date number is 3, the number of new creation.
My horoscopes: “Today's planetary configurations are pushing you to get some perspective on your life and the lives of people closest to you, Sagittarius. You must admit that you've been rather selfish lately. You aren't the center of the universe, so why do you sometimes act like you are? This is a day to make amends with friends and loved ones. They'll welcome you back with open arms.”
And: “Don't save pennies if it just means wasting dollars! Making your own lunch all week doesn't mean anything if you end up blowing your cash on one huge, fancy dinner. Observe your cash flow and spending habits carefully for now, especially if your emotions are high-strung -- you don't need retail therapy to feel better. Find some other alternative when it comes to dealing with stress.”
And: “Some vivid and intense dreams could come to you tonight, perhaps even in color and involving smells. You might wake up disappointed to find they aren't real! Don't be too disappointed, however. They may be prophetic, or they may reveal facts about yourself and your colleagues that could shed light on current situations that should be clarified. If their meanings aren't clear now, write them down, set them aside, and look at them later. Light could dawn then.”
I spoke with Ailm a bit, as I tried to digest my Friday night meditation. We both talked about how my culture’s isolation from Nature can sometimes create imbalances. I thought about how many children there are in our cities who never have a chance to be immersed in nature during their young and impressionable years. I thought about the challenges I am experiencing as I am growing and learning about the world around me, and I had lots of time as a child to play outside safely without direct parental supervision. I experienced first hand the insects and birds and flowers and grasses, and fruits and vegetables grown in individual gardens, and thus, the cycles of the solar year. I can remember picking cherries and apples and pears, and eating them with juices running down my arm. I can remember my neighbor, an elderly woman, give each of us a plum tomato from her garden, which we ate like apples. I can remember playing hide and seek, and spies, throughout our neighborhood, using sticks as guns and filling in all the empty spaces with our imaginations. We would come home at dusk, shower off the sweat and dirt accumulated throughout the day, and slide into our beds to dream of the adventures to come tomorrow.
No wonder so many younger people are out of touch with our world; no wonder they focus on buying the best car and the most cutting edge cell phone, and no wonder they throw their Burger King bags and their cigarette butts out the car window as they drive down the Parkway, past beautiful salt meadows and marshes and pine barrens, and no wonder they leave their soda cans and water bottles behind on the beach after packing up their towels and radios and chairs and coolers filled with food and drink, and head back to their rentals for a shower and dinner. How can they be expected to connect with and be fulfilled by concepts and effects that they have never experienced?
I have a difficulty with refraining from harshly judging rude people. I remind myself at least once a day that I have no right to judge others when they do something that seems rude, as I don’t know the circumstances behind their actions. After all, the driver behind me who beeps the horn in anger and impatience because I let someone make a left turn in front of me could very well be responding to some emergency or dire situation. I always do realize this, but not until after my instinctive anger and resentment and yes, judgment and resulting elevation of my own self, in reaction to perceived rudeness. I need to remember instinctively that I am creating my own world, and that creation needs to **not** be infused with anger and resentment and judgment of others.
Ailm has told me that there are issues in her world, too; however, in her world, those who have their aha! moments and are in touch with the other realms are taken more seriously than in my world. Yes, there are those who doubt the validity of the shamans and healers of her world, but not quite as many as in my world.
To me, this means that I have an added responsibility. Yes, there may be those who are open to hearing my beliefs regarding the abilities we each have that increase our overall health and happiness, but the majority of people around me are not tuned into that. And so, all I can do is present healing modalities that offer benefits to even those who are entirely focused on the physical world, and keep my own mental/emotional body as filled with good and peaceful and balanced energies as possible in the hope that I infect those around me with my feelings and mental outlook.
I do create my own world, but then again so does everyone else. But when those worlds overlap, I have the opportunity to offer the gift of Balance. Or at least, a catalyst of potential future Balance.
Monday, August 2, 2010
My Thoth card is the Nine of Disks reversed. The “Gain” card, and in an upright position, it tells of rubbing ones hands together with satisfaction at what has been accomplished. Enjoying evidence of the fruit of ones labors is one thing, but there is danger of stagnation. Because the card is reversed, the danger may not be too great because the satisfaction is not too great, but the card is there.
My Legacy card is The Magician reversed, flavored by The Lovers. In an upright position, The Magician also corresponds with Air, as well as Mercury (reason, education, skill), Beth (the house, builder), and the Path between Binah (female receptive energy, the origin of form and structure) and Kether (the source, limitless possibility). He usually tells of a strong and useful connection both to the Divine and to the physical realms, and having strong skills for integrating Divine energy with the effects of the physical world in order to achieve goals. Because this Magician is reversed, I am being told that today will be about attempting to understand not the physical realms but the hidden information which can only be obtained and understood through having to work very hard to both obtain and understand, on my own. The Lovers is also an Air card, also corresponding with Gemini (“I think,” duality, social, intelligent), Zayin (the two edged sword, personal choices), and the Path between Tiphareth and Binah; both of those paths have been mentioned already within my other Major Arcana cards, Tiphareth in Justice and Binah in The Magician reversed. I am being reminded that choices come with responsibility, and I need to be aware of my choices, and infuse them with love.
My Pearls of Wisdom Lammas card is the Ten of Swords. Disastrous consequences lead to mental anguish and grief; this will pass though, unless I allow despair to override my natural tendency to move forward. Eeep! Not very optimistic.
My 6-digit date number is 11, Archangel Uriel (again!), which reduces to the number 2, the number of balance and distance.
My horoscopes: “Much has happened recently, Sagittarius. Have you allowed enough time to process it? It's likely that big changes are brewing at home or work. Stay focused on the job at hand rather than fret about events over which you have no control. You may feel as if you're on a roller-coaster ride, but everything will settle down in a few days. Blink to adjust your eyes to the strange new light.”
And: “A roadblock may appear in the form of a sudden impulse to gobble down a pile of salty junk food, blow off big deadlines to play Bejeweled or chase after some hottie who is plainly bad for you. Stamp out those self-destructive urges as soon as you spot them! The biggest obstacle may be just noticing that they exist, rather than mindlessly obeying them. If you can pull it off, the rest is a cakewalk!”
And: “Too many people may be making unjust demands on your time today. Be careful, however, not to get too angry. Your anger won't hurt those making the demands -- only you! Just learn to say no politely but firmly. You have other things on your mind right now -- like a passionate evening alone with your current love interest! Remember: you're not serving anyone by allowing them to take unfair advantage of your good nature.”
What a wild and crazy weekend I have had. First the physical world; wonderful times in Cape May. We spent time at both the beach and the bay, we had Mark and Laura for dinner, and Sunday Greg and I spent hours watching the tide go out and Davey’s Lake empty. Bob and I also bought two rockers for the front porch. All in all, a lovely time was had by everyone!
I had been expecting Archangel Uriel to show up at some point because I was seeing lots of the number 11, and 11:11; when one of my Tarot cards for Friday was The Lovers (and actually it was reversed, which told me that I was missing out on something), I knew the time had come. So as I drove down to Cape May on Friday night, I put on the meditation music that usually brought him around.
I immediately found myself in a canoe, paddling through the Wildwood channels; it was low tide, or at least near the lowest part, and the sun was low in the sky. I paddled quietly as gulls swooped overhead; suddenly I was drawn to turn off of the main channel in order to follow one that was more overgrown.
I took that one to its end, even though I needed to use my paddles as poles; once I could no longer move the canoe while in the channel, I stepped into the sun-warmed shallow water and pulled the canoe to the end of the channel. Small fiddler crabs scattered as I began to walk along the path. The mud was wet and soggy, and at times I waded through ankle deep water, but after a short while the path began to climb and the marsh grass was replaced by trees. After a bit longer, I came to a small clearing; there were logs arranged as seats, and in the center was a smoldering, recently doused fire. I sensed that this was where I needed to be, and so I sat and waited. And waited. And waited. Patiently. I senses that waiting patiently was a part of this test, so I cleared my mind and relaxed.
The sky got dark and the mosquitoes came and went; the waning moon appeared between the trees. Finally, I heard someone coming, and out of the shadows of the other side of the clearing appeared a robed and hooded figure carrying a pack. The figure came and sat next to me, and in the moonlight all I could see was a strong nose and a bit of a beard. Was this Mystery’s Merlin? He reached into his bag, took out a short wand, whispered a few words and pointed at the smoldering wood; I smiled when the sparks flared and then small flames began to lick at what was left of the wood. Soon a small and cozy fire lit the clearing.
Then, my mysterious companion got to work. He reached into his pack and took out a metal cauldron, which he carefully arranged within the small fire so that it was level. Next was a small mortar and pestle, and then came some herbs and berries, which he mashed and ground together and then dumped into the cauldron in the fire. Finally, he withdrew a small canteen and poured a clear liquid into the cauldron, and began to stir everything as it heated.
It did not take long before I could smell the aroma of the mixture; it reminded me of the scent of a meadow under a hot noon sun. Just as steam began to come up out of the cauldron, my companion reached into his pack once more, this time for a wooden bowl, which he dipped into the mixture.
He then turned to me, and for the first time I saw his face clearly under the hood. He had a strong nose, a full beard and mustache which were originally dark but now were mostly grey; he had dark, piercing eyes and bushy grey eyebrows. What facial skin I could see was creased, as if he spent a lot of time outside in extreme weather. He looked straight into my eyes, and held out the bowl to me.
For a moment, I remembered the discomforts associated with the beverages offered to me by hooded figures in the past, but I knew without a doubt that I was not afraid to continue, so I took a steadying breath and accepted the bowl. I took a small sip first, just to make certain that I did not burn my mouth, and once I had determined that the liquid was hot but not too hot, I drank it all.
The hot brew was heavy in my stomach, very heavy, and as my head began to spin and the ground seemed to tilt, a wave of extreme nausea washed over me. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, and I struggled to keep from vomiting as a clammy sweat covered me. Ugh, that was horrible!
Finally the uncomfortable sensations began to fade. I opened my eyes, and the first thing I saw was that my bearded companion had changed. Now it was Archangel Uriel’s face that looked out at me from the hood! His eyes glowed like two suns, and I found that for a long moment I could not look away. A tension (for lack of a better word) seemed to flow into my body from his eyes. After some time, he gave a small nod. And then I looked around.
Everything glowed! The trees and the bushes and the logs and the fire all glowed. At first I thought I was seeing everything through night vision goggles; then everything shifted and it looked as if I was clearly seeing the auras around everything in my surroundings. Then everything shifted again, and it appeared that I was seeing glowing holograms superimposed or laying over the physical objects around me.
This shifting continued as I looked around, almost like looking through a microscope and shifting to a stronger lens. Each time the shift happened, it took a moment or two for my brain to process what I was seeing, but then everything was crystal clear for a short while, until the shift happened again. The holograms stayed as they were for a bit of time, and then that stronger lens was applied, and I could see the sap pulsing through the trees, glowing; I could see the sap rising into the plants, and I could see energy and fertility pulsing in the ground, everything pulsing and flowing and glowing with life and potential. I was just past the Summer Solstice, and everything was still filled with life force!
As I watched the sap pulse in a tree trunk right next to me, the lens shifted again. I could see the particles that made up the sap, the same way that we can see the red corpuscles flowing and pulsing through our blood vessels. Wide streams of particles were flowing in the wider channels and being gradually siphoned off or divided into smaller channels, until the channels were so narrow that the particles could only flow slowly, in single file. What were those particles? They were not blood corpuscles or cells, or any other organic matter. They were zeros and ones!!
Holy computer programming, Batman! Now I know what J of the Pagan Brain Trust sees. I was reminded of the movie, “The Matrix,” and I thought about all that I had learned about the brain’s powerful ability to affect what I perceive as reality.
Then everything shifted again, and my world suddenly went flat, two dimensional, and it appeared that it was being projected onto a bad drive-in movie screen, complete with bumps and ripples. I looked around, trying to find the “projector,” the “source,” but He/She/It was nowhere. Once again, the lens shifted, and I saw that the projection was coming from me!! Every cell of my body was projecting a thin beam of light onto the movie screen, radiating out from my body, and as I moved, all those little movie projections moved, too. Cool!!
Suddenly, though, it was not so cool any more. If I am making the movie, if what I could see was being created within me, does that mean that all the trees and birds and other living entities are made by me? Am I being told that everything I see, smell, hear, taste and feel is a creation of my mind? Am I being **told** anything? Or am I just coming to the realization myself because there is no one to **tell** me but me?
Is everything I have come to believe is true actually a construct of my mind??
Oh, that was a terrible moment, let me tell you. I had worked soooooo hard to find a spiritual path that worked for me, to connect with Deity, to understand my world and my body, and I thought I was making progress, but what if I was actually making it up as I went along? No, that could not be true, could it? Realizations came to me without prompting, and my Gods and Guides spoke to me all the time, in their own voices. Are those the voices of my subconscious, and thus they sound like they are coming from other entities? Am I actually insane? Do my Deities exist?
I felt empty and very disillusioned. I asked for help. Danu did not respond, and I did no sense Her at all, as I usually do as part of the background “hiss” of energy. Cernunnos was also gone; no voice, no presence at all. Ailm was gone, and The General was gone, and quiet Hawk, who stood in the background, was gone, all of them as if they never existed. I felt betrayed; all these years of effort, for something that did not really even exist.
Then, I received help from a surprising source: Kali Ma. I did not see her or sense her, but a voice whispered what I know to be Her message: you cannot carry physical concerns as you evolve; you must surrender them and leave them behind. Okay, I can do this. Okay. I took a deep breath.
So what if all this was fake? So what if no one else will ever experience exactly the same “movie” that is playing around me, and I will never be able to prove to anyone else that everything I know and believe to be true is real? Yeah, so what? I am a witch, and I know from personal experience that I can control and affect my world and my life. Why shouldn’t I make it all exactly as I need it to be? The sacredness of all around me and the sacredness of the cycles that keep everything immortal even as the parts of each cycle are born, live and then die is a necessary ingredient in my life; I **need** all that. I want to continue seeing my life as I am living it as a celebration of the sacred feminine and sacred masculine, of Goddess and God. So what if it only seems real to me? I need this. I want it. I CHOOSE it.
Yes, I choose this. I am going to continue learning about it all and living it all because I choose it. I felt a sudden peace within me.
I opened my eyes, and I was alone in the clearing. Tendrils of fog swirled around, and the fire was totally out; the sky above me was beginning to get light in the east. I had sat there, experiencing all of this, for the entire night. Suddenly, once again, I heard someone approaching. There, from out of the mist, was Cernunnos, Young Cernunnos, the Messenger of the Unexpected. He smiled when my eyes met His, and then he threw his head back and laughed with joy.
“You have chosen!” He said, joy in His tone. “This is important! Yes, you have been chosen by Me and by My Lady, and that is important, too. But in order for this cycle to be complete, YOU MUST CHOOSE, TOO! Do you understand how important this is?” He grinned again.
Ka-thunk. The puzzle piece fell into place. I choose to make my world and everything in it, and my life, infused with sacredness. I choose this willingly, and I open myself to all the effects of this choice. Tears came to my eyes, and I felt once again that background hiss of energy, filled with the presence of the Gods and Guides who I had come to love, as I heard Danu speak.
“And you who seek to know Me, know that your seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the mystery: if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without. For behold . . . I have been with you from the beginning, and I am that which is attained at the end of desire.”
I have truly completed this cycle of The Great Work. As an aside, my mind has always known what I discovered today, but my heart has not, at least not until today.
My only question is: how does Merlin relate to Uriel?
Pagan Brain Trust tonight; I can’t wait to hear their reactions to this meditation!