Thursday, April 29, 2010
My Thoth card is the Five of Cups reversed. Crowley calls this card ‘Disappointment,” and he feels that any disturbance of serenity or pleasure is not fun. Because the card is reversed, I will most likely not end up disappointed today, whether I experience the movement of the number 5 or the pleasure and serenity of the suit of Cups.
My Legacy card is the Four of Coins. This card is about the potential for security in the material world, to the point of ending up in possession of something that I may fear loosing. This is an interesting combination: material bounty and insecurity!
My 6-digit date number is 7, the beginning of the end of the balance of yesterday.
My horoscope: “As you get older, you're drawn more and more to spiritual matters, Sagittarius. It isn't so much that you're embracing any particular religion, more that you're quite curious about the supernatural and some of the ancient arts. Take some time today to visit the library or bookstore and do some reading on the subject. You might want to form a study group with other like-minded individuals.” Ya think?!
There is an essay on the website of the teacher of Thai Massage under whom I will soon be studying (Yay!!), regarding thresholds. In that essay, “threshold” is described as a passageway, or better yet, as an overture within a passageway. In Thai Massage, the concept of threshold is filled with intensity and power (with “intensity” being described as “listening for the echo” in order to correctly and efficiently direct focus). This means that each and every action or thought can be said to be a response to a threshold, and the resulting focus on that action or thought stimulates the vitality of everything involved in manifesting that action or thinking that thought.
The actual passing through the threshold can also be broken down. First there is the buildup of awareness. Then there is a moment called “relent,” which is the awe-inspiring peak or moment of transformation that offers access and a sanction of the efforts. The “relent” in turn grants “permission,” which opens us to all possibilities that lay beyond the threshold.
[Based on information from the essay, “Threshold Therapy,” from the Vedic Conservatory website.]
I am standing in the threshold between the Albido and the Citrinitas, wavering back and forth and seeking the Key of Entry that is hidden within this threshold. There are moments when all seems to be lit by the warm golden light of the Citrinitas, and then at other times, I feel that I have slipped back to the cleansing of the Albido. Unlike physical alchemy, this psychological process does not have clear and permanent moments of completing one stage and beginning another. Soon, I will pass through the threshold; I have a feeling that I had better get all these loose ends tied up first because once I pass, I will be only able to go forward to the next level.
And I have made much progress in understanding what is weighing me down these past four days. I do know what the blockage is, but I have not been successful, at least until this morning, in releasing the angst. Surprisingly, on the day of the full moon, it was Kali who assisted me. She has reminded me that allowing myself to agonize over decisions and the ability to control or not control events of the physical realms is a complete and utter waste of energy and abilities. Finally, both my brain and my heart are in accord, and the healing is progressing at an astounding rate. I am, after all, only responsible for my own actions and my own choices and my own responses; and everything in the physical world is quite temporary and not worth interfering with love.
Tonight, I will be doing my first Reiki Master attunements! I am excited and proud to be making my first Reiki Master/Teachers, two of my much loved Pagan brain Trust-ers. If all goes well (and I have no reason to expect this to **not** go well), I will be making another Master/Teacher in the near future, Pat from my belly dance class.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
My Thoth card is the Queen of Disks. Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts) of Earth, and the ability to make good decisions regarding resources. But these decisions will not be rushed; instead they will be sensible and well thought out, for owning material wealth means nothing unless that wealth can nourish us.
My Legacy card is the Ten of Swords. This card tells of an overreliance on logic. Even though Swords represent the element of Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts), too much of the corresponding logic can end up producing ruin. Remember what happens when you fly too high: your wings melt and you plummet to the ground! The situation hinted at by this Ten is many times self-created; this means that if I work on being aware, things will only get better from here.
My 6-digit date number is 5, movement that upsets stability in order to prevent stagnation.
My horoscope: “It can be hard to release old habits and beliefs even as new, better ways of thinking struggle to gain a foothold. It's time for you to do this, Sagittarius. You might find it difficult to confide your feelings to another, but a frank conversation with close friends will do much to ease your mind. There's no question that you're changing. Your friends will show you that this transformation is positive.”
**smile** Yep, I would love to just hide, but that would only prolong this period of upheaval that I am striving to see as transformation. Yes, the full moon is nearly upon us, but I am trying to see the discomforts of the past weeks which seem to be coming to a head as a time of darkness, when the dimmest of stars, otherwise blotted out by the light, can be seen and experienced. I am trying to make my frustration at that darned scale needle which is obstinately staying stationary and not moving downward, and the body aches that have never happened to me before after strenuous or prolonged activity, and the end of my job of the past 13 years, and the pain of dealing with an issue between myself and my husband, all into spiritually connected learning opportunities. None of these events and effects lend themselves to a spiritually aware response. Instead, my first instinct is to want to be crabby and angry, and to impose my own desires on others.
You can never determine if you have courage unless you are put into a situation that makes you afraid. Fear is not an emotion that can be created at will (LOL, unless I go and stand at the edge of the roof of a tall building somewhere), and neither is love. I must have the love challenged in order to truly plumb its depths. I must lose my job in order to find out if I can truly create my own business, no matter how much I say I want to do this. I must change my eating habits and exercise routines over the long term in order to have a lasting effect on my body and its health. So far, there just is no other way to be successful. Part of me wishes that all of these concepts did not need to be tested at the same time, but another part of me is willing to determine just how much I have learned over the past seven years.
I even had my pride in the plans I have put together shaken a bit, by a relative making light of them even though this relative had no idea what the things I am striving toward actually consist of. It is amazing how the slightly derisive laughter of someone can shrink you down, even though in my mind I do know that this relative is made uncomfortable by effects that cannot be directly and easily controlled. This relative’s laughter has caused me to rethink for a moment (a moment only) whether my current goals are worthy. They are worthy; I do know this and in part their worthiness was confirmed by this discomfort caused by the laughter. Perhaps it is time that I receive this kind of test; in the past, everyone has pretty much supported my efforts and the doubts originated within me. Time for them to come from a source that I cannot control, and my only power in this case is to control my response, to choose my response.
Speaking of exercise, I have really been focusing on getting my body back into shape. I am finally experiencing that nice buzz of endorphins that happens when I feel I have a grasp on my body and am making progress toward strength and flexibility. Cernunnos told me this weekend that this is the very feeling He wants me to associate with Him. He wants me to maintain a strong awareness to how my body feels this week, for my dedication to Him is approaching. As is my ritual with Mystery.
Helen has a Yoga class in Cape May and a Yoga class in Philly, and both studios are interested in the other disciplines Sukha has to offer!! I am feeling optimistic, more and more optimistic, but both of us are doing our homework and making preparations. LOL, we don’t just want our heads in the clouds, we also want our feet on the ground. Sounds like today’s cards are validating this notion.
This is going to be quite the Transformative week!!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
The Horned One/Five of Swords. Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes), Capricorn (“I build,” ambition, authority, cunning), and Ayin (eyes, senses), all combine to bring a focus on the physical realms and the experiences of the physical senses today. There may be some difficulty involved regarding the physical realm, that could center around the imposition of logic onto the situation. I need to remember that not all victories are fulfilling, especially if they are achieved through negative focuses.
My Thoth card is the Two of Cups. “The Lord of Love” might be a strange card to appear here, at least on the surface, but actually it is reassuring to me because it is telling me that despite imbalances, love is still a part of the picture.
My Legacy card is The Lovers reversed. Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts), Gemini (“I think,” curiosity, talkative, sociable, balanced) and Zayin (two-sided sword), The Lovers is about personal choices, and about a love that exists through the balance of opposites. Today I was drawn to throw another card, and got the Seven of Cups. This card corresponds to the sephiroth of Netzach (which tells of understanding and inspiration), and it reminds me of both the importance and the dangers of dreams and visualizations.
My horoscope: “It may be hard for you to make a decision today about anything. Things may seem a bit wishy-washy and unclear, but don't worry about it. There is plenty of air to fuel your fire. Be aware that people may be popping up from the past and that unexpected events may be disrupting the flow throughout the day. Well-laid plans are apt to be broken. Don't' sweat it. Just go with it.”
My cards make perfect sense to me today. Every single one of ‘em. ‘Nuff said.
Helen and I got together yesterday and today, furthering our business preparations. We worked through a stretch class that is focused on strength trainers, and we discussed many options and future focuses. This coming weekend, Sean and his friends will be down in Cape May, and Helen and I plan on not only picking his brain, but getting our website up and running. Big first step! Hopefully next weekend I will be posting the URL of Sukha’s website. It is very important that we keep our momentum up, and we are doing our best.
I leave for the Dominican Republic a week from Wednesday. This is going to be a very different trip because it will be just Brian and I. Part of me will miss Sharon and her ability to speak Spanish. But part of me is looking forward to spending some in-depth time with Brian, maybe talking about Tarot, Reiki, Yoga, etc. This will be a great opportunity for me to zero in on what I need to focus upon.
Friday, April 23, 2010
The Tower/The Universe. Well . . . interesting. We have Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes), Mars (action, spontaneity, drive), and Phe (mouth or speech), and Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes), Saturn (discipline, limitations, order and caution) and Thav (mark or sign). We have breaking apart and putting together. We have endings in both cards, but one ending involves destruction and the other ending involves the completion of integration. What they both have in common are “dry,” which is subject to susceptibility, and “shape,” which is what both of these forces are able to do. Plus, Fire and Earth are the purest of extremes (Fire rises to the top and Earth falls to the bottom).
My Thoth card is the Three of Cups reversed. “Abundance,” and an indication of the possibility of dreams becoming reality. The element of Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts) tends to contract or reach a level and stable place, and the number 3, which is about not only manifesting the suit but creating something new from it. However, the card is reversed, so the events of the day will probably not be encouraging a sense of connection to and support from the “group.”
My Legacy card is the King of Swords. Fire of Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts), and the cusp of Capricorn (“I build, ambitious, competent, authoritative) and Aquarius (“I know,” the group, friendships, progressiveness), and the sephiroth Chokmah, the origin of vital force and polarity. This King is about a committed and consciously chosen intention to increase and support intellectual evolution and increased communication. He is responsible for harnessing and manifesting ideas, creating and activating the intellect into discernable results. Whew! That’s a lot to live up to!!
My horoscope: “This could be a very busy day in your community, Sagittarius. Some kind of rally, protest, or other public gathering might take place. If you attend, you may not hear much because of all the noise, and the event could seem disorganized at best. It could also render traffic impossible! If you can, stay home today. Going out could be more trouble than it's worth. Protest with your vote or your wallet instead.”
My 6-digit date number is 10, which tells of completion or winding up of a cycle in preparation for a new beginning, which reduces to the number 1, the number of possibility and potential.
Busy day indeed!! And nothing seems to be running smoothly. But I am catching myself before I get irritated and I am infusing awareness and spirituality into my day at every opportunity. So far, I have been able to heed the warning of my cards, even thought there have been little snags throughout the day.
I feel my Lady Danu behind me, Her hands on my shoulders, but She is not saying anything to me at all. LOL, I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Is She letting me know that I am doing a good job and need no intervention on Her part, or is She standing behind me, ready to prop me up when I get hit by the psychic two-by-four? The former, I hope. I am trying very hard to do what I am supposed to do.
I finished my next submission to the Sacred Mists Blog, on Trance Dancing. It is the first of a series on altered states, and the more detailed information presented in these essays will readily transfer to my book on Sacred Movement; another thing on my ever-lengthening list of things to do when my job ends. And Lorraine planted another “book seed,” by suggesting that I write an advanced book on spell crafting! I love that idea. Lorraine has taken my Off the Beaten Path workshops on spell crafting and the personal energy field, and she feels that the information I presented would fill a void as there really are no “next level of learning” books out there on the hows and whys of spell crafting.
Hopefully by early next week, I will officially be a Tarot Reader at the Sacred Mists Shoppe. I am really excited about this because I will be reading professionally through Sacred Mists. One thing after another seems to be lining up for me!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
My Thoth card is the Ace of Wands reversed. Creativity and fast movement that is found within the primordial energy of the Divine as it manifests within matter are what make up the energy of this Ace. It is potential just before that potential is shaped by Will. Since the card is reversed, I may be blocked from these energies, but these two reversed Wands cards might balance the Judgement card (another Fire card) nicely.
My Legacy card is the Ace of Cups. The Holy Grail, and the concept that love is all I need. Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts) and the astrological symbols of Fall, Libra (“We are, partnerships, Balance cooperation), Scorpio (“I desire,” intense, sexual, secretive) and Sagittarius (“I seek,” philosophic, adventurous, blundering), both offer the potential for emotional, subconscious and spiritual renewal. It is up to me to reach out and take the Cup being offered.
My 6-digit date number is 9. Woooho! No wonder I feel so good today. The number 9 is about completeness (as opposed to the completion of the number 10).
Absolutely chaotic, crazy day today. I woke up feeling as if something inside of me, some part of me that keeps me balanced and connected, was unplugged. I guess our ritual last night had more of a physical manifestation than I thought.
I have been expecting to hear from Mystery's Guides and contact finally happened as I walked last night. I looked up and saw the first quarter moon, hiding behind the clouds. Suddenly, I was not walking in Hackensack; instead I was standing at the lip of a gorge at the bottom of which was a stream, and fog. I went down, passing through wisps of fog, and sat by the burbling stream. The air was cold, but crisp and clean, and after a bit the crickets became accustomed to my presence, and continued their songs.
After a bit, they quieted again, and I heard a rustling in the bushes at the other side of the stream. Suddenly, there appeared a man, grey hair and a grey beard, wearing an indigo robe. The robe glistened as he moved; for all I know, he was clothed in shadow. He waked to the water’s edge and sat on a large boulder, his hands upon his knees. I knew him; he was Merlin, great mage and sorcerer. After a moment, he motioned to me, calling me to cross the stream. I walked to the water and tested it with my toe; it was cold, but very shallow.
As I began crossing, suddenly, the softly babbling brook became a raging torrent! I looked up at Merlin, and he nodded, so I continued. The current was strong, and I banged my knee and skinned my elbows as I struggled to keep my feet in the icy water. Just as I was almost to the other side, I suddenly stepped into a hole and was swept downstream.
I surfaced and luckily was able to grab a branch of a tree that had been toppled and lay partially in the water; I strained to hold on as the water washed over my head and up my nose. I pulled myself closer to the shore and finally found footing. I stood, and struggled the rest of the way to the shore and lay on my back, exhausted.
As I lay there, gasping, I heard the roar of the stream fade away. I sat up, and to my amazement, the torrent had disappeared and the stream was once again softly burbling and winding its way through the rocks. I stood and walked back to where Merlin was still sitting. By the time I reached him, my teeth were chattering and I was trembling from the cold.
“Very funny,” I said through chattering teeth. “Actually, it was,” he replied with a smile. I could not help but smile back at him, as I remembered another fall into icy water and a similar response from my son, Brian.
There were places to sit next to Merlin, but I decided that I should show him honor, so I sat on the ground at his feet, shivering. Merlin lifted his wand and (I am certain that he said the same word that Hogwarts students say to make their wands glow!) his wand glowed like a torch and I could see him clearly; he could see me as well, a shivering, wet heap sitting at his feet. After a moment, he leaned forward, and said, “Young lady, you are no sorcerer like My Mystery, but you are a Priestess. Why are you allowing yourself to be uncomfortable? Why are you not warming yourself?”
He was right. We were in the astral realms, and I have the power to fix this! I brought my awareness inward to my solar plexus chakra, and I warmed myself. It took a few moments of focus, but soon enough I was feeling much more comfortable.
“You are very shortly dedicating yourself to a God whose focus is very, very physical. And yet, you are not Balanced. You are not yet connecting all that you have accomplished to your physical world. You know very well how to ask why, and you also know very well how to answer your own question. But you do not ask the question ‘how?’ The pains and aches and illnesses that you have been experiencing are caused by this imbalance. You need to work harder. You need to mix your ‘why?’ question together with a ‘how?’ question. You must broaden your focus.”
Merlin sighed, and then continued. “Both of you are out of sorts today. Are you surprised about this? You have both been told that your workings are powerful, even beyond your expectations. Are you surprised that you are not feeling yourself, that you are feeling as if something is missing, after the working that you and Mystery performed last night? After you both put a part of yourselves ‘Between’ until your dedication ritual?” He waited, and then continued. “Each of you willingly entered into this working, and it was accomplished both through physical actions and energy gathered and charged. Next time, you will learn from this and make certain that you work into your spell a bit more protection; you will learn from this working, and you will not forget your power. But all is not lost; you both can fix things enough to return to Balance, and not betray the working that you have both put into place.”
He stood then, and said: “All will be well.” Then he snapped his finger, and disappeared!
I sat for a while, thinking about what Merlin had said. He was right; I need to connect what I am learning with my life, and I need to connect the spiritual with the physical in a Balanced manner. I smiled as I remembered what Merlin said about the working that Mystery and I did last night. We both felt off balance today, and there is a reason for that. And we both have been told that anything we do together will have power beyond our expectations.
And it looks like Merlin was right; I am feeling much better today. More Balanced and more in control. I am doing every task, using my muscles each time, with awareness. I feel better, grounded yet not shut down, and ready to face the day.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
My Thoth card is the Four of Swords. “Truce” today, and I think I understand this card’s energies. Crowley sees this card as presenting the concept of “equality of arms deters battle.” I am being told that the preparations have been made; now is the time to rest before the real work begins.
My Legacy card is The World reversed. Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes), Saturn (discipline, resistance, order), and Thav (mark or sign). This is a card of cosmic consciousness and the completion of a cycle; it also reminds me that the cycle is **not** linear, with a distinct beginning and ending point, but rather it is a circle, with its ending morphing seamlessly into a new beginning. Because it is reversed, I am being warned that although the cycle appears to be completed, the transformation is not yet complete. But it’s happening! This card is said to reflect the fertility and abundance of The Empress, the synthesis of Strength, and the transformative power of The Tower, as it transforms from the end of a cycle into The Fool and a brand new beginning.
Because today is the first part of my magickal working with Mystery, I also threw a Pearls of Wisdom card, and got the Seven of Cups. In the Pearls of Wisdom Tarot, besides the traditional indication of many choices, this card reminde me that dreams are fuel to manifest outcome, and I am the creator of my own life.
My 6-digit date number for today is 7; the number 7 tells of the beginning of the degeneration of the balance of the number 6. I think the appropriate lesson to remember today regarding this number is that in order to make the omelet we need to break some eggs, and that will upset the balance. In order to walk forward, we actually need to end the balance that happens when we stand still. Cultivating awareness and choosing with awareness are the keys.
My horoscope: “You have a strong spirit of cooperation today, Sagittarius. It inspires you to pitch in and help others without being asked. Your romantic partner could be surprised to see you show up and help with a chore. Never mind that you don't know what you're doing - you'll figure it out. Others will be impressed to see you going above and beyond what you've been asked to do. Your efforts on all fronts won't go unnoticed.”
Awesome stuff is happening today!!
The new, formalized (and truly wonderful) Sacred Mists Third Degree Training Lessons were unveiled last night after our Student Council Meeting. I am absolutely thrilled at what Lady Raven and Lilyth have created. These lessons will have a two-fold effect on me: first, they will push me to increase my skills, knowledge and abilities, and second, they will push me to crystallize and document in detail (through homework assignments) both what I already know and am able to accomplish as well as the new information and abilities that I will gain through completing the assignments for each lesson.
While all of these lessons have been in place already, they were not formalized. Because up until now the Third Degree had few members, Lady Raven was able to work on a one-on-one basis with each Third Degree Dedicant; however that has become difficult for her. And so, our new Third Degree Training Program has arrived! That one-on-one contact is still available (as it is for every student of every Degree), and in fact the formalization of the Third Degree Training should make a bit more time available.
Congratulations, Lady Raven and Lilyth! Your hours and hours of hard work have paid off, in my opinion, and you are creating a wonderfully strong Degree Training Program for all Sacred Mists students. I am very proud to be associated with Sacred Mists.
Tonight is the first part of the ritual and magickal working that Mystery and I have been creating. I am very, very pleased with what we have made together; I think we are well matched as magickal partners, and I look forward to experience tonight’s working. The energies of Lumina Mystica are manifesting!
The last week or so has been incredibly busy for me. I have been working plenty of overtime, and the extra money will come in handy. I made my reservations for my Dominican Republic trip last night. I will be going by myself this time, because Sharon can’t make it this year. Brian is redecorating, and I look forward to helping him. Plus we will go shopping for larimar and amber, and we will go to the river and the beach. I will get to have my “chivo” fix, LOL, and do some dancing.
Plus, the Pagan Brain Trust has been making some awesome plans. We are going to have a Reiki attunement extravaganza, and we are creating a permanent working together. This magickal family is evolving so much!
The “Shift” is coming; I can feel it, stronger and stronger each day!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Seven of Cups/Queen of Swords reversed. The Seven of Cups card corresponds to the sephiroth Netzach (the stimulating factors of emotion and inspiration) by offering choices, choices that can only be effectively made if we stop and carefully assess each choice. The Queens all correspond to the sephiroth Binah, which is the origin of all structure and form; she **is** her suit rather than **does** her suit. She is Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts) of Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts), and the Cups card is also related to Water. In an upright position, this Queen would have the ability to make the choices presented in the Seven of Cups. Since she is reversed, I am being told that while many choices may appear to me, today is not a day to make final decisions. Research each choice for sure; after all, even though I am not connecting with her energies, that Queen is in my card throw for the day, but no final choices today.
My Thoth card is the Nine of Disks reversed. Hmmmm . . . the “Gain” card reversed. In an upright position, this card corresponds with Venus (beauty, pleasure, allure) in Virgo (“I serve,” practical, service oriented, critical), and the sephiroth Yesod (the Treasure House of Images, patterns that should lead to a final manifestation). It is about feeling satisfaction for a job well done, but because it is reversed, I am being told that it is not yet time to rest on my laurels.
My Legacy card is the Five of Coins. I had this card on Thursday; it tells me that I may be worrying about what appears to be a time with limited physical resources. However, I am reminded that I do not need to feel that the effects of this card are out of my control. I can prepare for this and lessen the effects of material neediness by tightening my belt and simplifying my life. There is a light shining, I just need to turn around and look in an unexpected place, and I will find it.
My 6-digit date number is 5, the number of movement that upsets stability in order to prevent stagnation.
When I first began living as a Wiccan, my focus was probably 90% on my physical experiences and 10% on my astral or spiritual experiences. Now, things have gone almost to the opposite. My days are pretty much 75% focused on my astral or spiritual effects and my personal energy field, and maybe 25% on the operation of my physical body and the interactions of the physical world. Perhaps all of the illnesses and aches and pains I have been experiencing in my physical body these past months are due to this imbalance. Perhaps I need to focus on bringing a connection or bridge from the astral and spiritual focuses into the physical so that there are two-way interactions.
Wait . . . this sounds familiar. There is a term within the Phases of psychological alchemy, that means “spiritualization.” Citrinitas [or citrinatis], sometimes referred to as xanthosis, is a term given by 15th- and 16th-century alchemists to “yellowness.” It was one of the four major stages of the alchemical opus, and literally referred to “transmutation of silver into gold” or “yellowing of the lunar consciousness.” In alchemical philosophy, citrinitas stood for the dawning of the “solar light” inherent in one's being, and that the reflective “lunar or soul light” was no longer necessary. The other three alchemical stages were nigredo (blackness), albedo (whiteness), and rubedo (redness). [my emphasis added]
Wow. Once again, I have read these words and logically understood what was being describe, but now, now I have personally experienced this process, or at least I am beginning to understand it. Aha! This is what I have been feeling, that sense that soooooooo much of who I am is completely experiential and really not easily described to others. **smile** I guess I will have something to think about today.
We had a Sacred Mists Reiki Share this morning, with our Earth as a recipient in honor of Earth Day. I really love Reiki Shares! This time, for the initial part of the Share I opened myself to the flow of Reiki and then opened my chakras. To my surprise, my Elemental Guides appeared. My Earth Guide reminded me that the energy of Earth is our tether that anchors our life force to our physical bodies. My Water Guide reminded me that I am who I am because of those incarnations who came before this one (each of whom loved and cried and lived, creating a foundation for this life), and I should love myself because I am a unique physical vehicle ~and~ a deep and wonderfully textured life force. My Fire Guide reminded me that my life does not ever stand still, and I am always “becoming” and evolving and transforming, whether I realize it (and thus to some extent control the processes) or not. My Air Guide reminded me that I have the choice to be Aware, and thus to encourage and to some extent direct my growth and evolution, and thus benefit from every single experience within this lifetime.
As the time came to shift the flow of Reiki from the Share to the Earth, I saw our world from outer space: a heartbreakingly beautiful blue and green and brown and white orb. I gently cupped my hands around the Earth and allowed the Reiki to flow. How sad it is that if I were to bring my awareness closer to this lovely world, I would find in-fighting and back-stabbing; humanity as a whole does not appreciate the incredible gift that our Earth is. For a short time I wondered if our small effort would make a difference at all. But then I heard a soft voice telling me: “Yes, your effort makes a difference. The difference is not so much manifested onto and into that lovely sphere cradled in your hands; the difference is in **you** and the depth of **your** connection to that world. For your reverence and your awe will spread, little by little. Remember, even the hugest of avalanches, completely changing everything in its path, is made of tiny snowflakes connected together. Who would ever think that a tiny, fragile flake of frozen water crystals could have that kind of power?”
As I separated myself from the Share, I was filled with that now-expected sense of well-being, of being alive. The sun is shining, and the sky is blue, and I am going for a walk before heading off to work.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Strength/Death reversed. Strength is a Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes) card corresponding to Leo (“I am,” passionate, independent, noble, selfish) and Teth (sieve or basket; digestion) that directs all that Fire and passion inward, promoting not only the control of emotions, but the rising above them. Death in an upright position is a Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts) card corresponding to Scorpio (“I desire,” intense, secretive, mysterious, controlling) and Nun (fish head; liberation). If Death was upright, I would be dealing with Balance today as these cards are opposites. Strength is about change (Fire) and Death is about staying the same (Water); Strength is about controlling and Death is about releasing. Because the Death card is reversed, it seems to me that the element of Fire and all of its correspondences is overcoming the inertia that occurs when the energies of the Death card are around. I have already passed through the doorway of Death, whether I know it or not, and I cannot go back.
My Thoth card for today is the Five of Wands reversed. The “Strife” card in an upright position represents Saturn (discipline, limitations, resistance, order) in Leo (“I am,” passionate, independent, noble, selfish), and that pretty much explains the chaos of the energies of this card. Motion and Fire, with nothing to ground or allow the softer influences to have a say. These energies are not evil; they are more like the reluctance of an employee to return from lunch break. If every phenomenon is a sacrament, then the upsetting of stability is a good thing. My card is reversed, so these conflicts of desires should be fading, and one path or idea should be gaining strength.
My Legacy card is The Chariot reversed. Another reversed Water card, this one corresponds with Cancer (“I feel,” sensitive, tenacious, home oriented, moody) and Cheth (the fence). In an upright position, this card tells of the opportunity to overcome or control both positive and negative emotions. Because this card is the precursor of the Strength card above, which tells of not only controlling emotions but rising above them, and because it is reversed, it is supporting or validating the Strength card.
My 6-digit date number for today is 4, the number of depth and stability. Today may end up being a slight pause, but it is a pause that is preparing me for more motion.
My horoscope: “Travel is in store today, Sagittarius. It could be a spur-of-the-moment trip with a friend. More likely, it will be a series of short trips closer to home. You could visit friends or take advantage of sales and do some shopping. Your active mind will pick up on all sorts of ideas for improving your home. Once the errands are done, go home and look at your space with a fresh eye. There is a lot you can do to improve it.”
Quiet day today; I am up in Hackensack this weekend because I have to work overtime tomorrow. We had a great SMPDA Open Reading Event today, and I was one of the Seekers. The advice was awesome! Every single reader said that it looks as if this is the time, the time for me to try something of my own. Yes, I need to be careful, but still, circumstances are the best right now.
I drew up a draft Client Information Form for the company that Helen and I are putting together. The company is going to be called “Sukha,” which is Sanskrit for running swiftly or easily (LOL, it literally means “having a good or freely turning axle-hole”), and we will be offering Thai Massage, Yoga, Reiki and my own exercise method, Belly Dance Stretch. Looks like this Summer may be a great time to give all of this a try!
I am excited because it is almost Beltane. Everything around me is blooming and lush, thanks in part to the crazy amount of snow and rain we had during the Winter and early Spring. Friday night, Mystery and I take the first step in preparation for our partnership dedication ritual, and I am excited about what is happening between us. We are writing all of our own rituals, and they are good! Lumina Mystica is happening! Once Beltane is over, Mystery and I are going to write a class on Shadow Crafting; looks like I will need to make time to read Raven Digitalis’s book!
So much growth and progress has happened, along with all the discomforts and worries and fears. More and more, I feel as if the physical part of me, the physical vehicle that carries my life force, is becoming less and less important as my inner self grows stronger and more vibrant. LOL, I don’t mean to say that I am not taking care of my physical body; on the contrary, I am doing my exercises and I am walking regularly once again. I am eating well and hardly indulging in my weekend cocktails any more. I am balancing my chakras each morning, after flooding them with Reiki. And yet, so much of what fills each day happens within me. That white noise that is background energy no longer buzzes quietly; instead, it presses against me. Danu is with me most of the time, and if She is not, then Cernunnos is. My own personal energy field is intensifying; it is almost a physical thing. I feel wonderful, and I feel connected to the astral realms in ways that I never expected.
More is coming, I am certain. I have already passed through the doorway without realizing it, and I know that I cannot go back. Once the light of awareness is turned on, it burns until the physical body stops working. No, that is wrong; the light of awareness never goes out.
I am blessed.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Ace of Pentacles reversed/Seven of Wands. The Ace of Pentacles in an upright position represents the source of physicality and form, and the potential for tapping into necessary resources. It can be said that the rest of the Minor Pentacle cards are contained within the Ace, or at least the potential for the energies of the other cards to manifest. The Seven of Wands is offering valuable advice: act with integrity and take a stand for what you believe. I need to remember today that sometimes having a defensive mindset can cause me to shut out the good as well as the bad. I do need to be careful what I let in, but some concepts and effects will be valuable. Also, I have been told by Archangel Uriel that I need to be the Seven of Wands; He neglected to tell me whether I should be the person guarding the door or the person seeking entry.
My Thoth card is the Six of Cups. “Pleasure” of the nicest kind, and lots of fertility, too. Oh-kay!! Crowley saw this card as being one of the best out of the entire deck. This card is connected to the Sun, inner core of person or situation and the deepest self, in Scorpio, “I desire,” intensity, sex, compulsiveness and depth. So much intensity for such a serene (if a bit nostalgic) card! If I connect this Six to the Tree of Life, I need to examine the sephiroth of Tiphareth. Interestingly enough, Tiphareth is the hub of the creation process; it is a place where all energies harmonize and then focus to illuminate clarity. Tiphareth is the location of aha! moments! And since this is a Cups card, those aha! moments will be connected to my feelings and my Inner Voice.
My Legacy card is the Five of Coins. Okay, this really does make sense to me. Despite all the enthusiasm I am feeling about the possibilities being presented by the upcoming end of my job, money is a worry. I need to remind myself that money is not everything, and that I need to ask for help and trust that I will receive it.
I was drawn to throw a clarification card for that one due to the current situation in my work life, and threw the Four of Cups. This card is reminding me that I have many blessings, even if financial security for the foreseeable future is not one of them. This Four is encouraging me to be realistic, and it is also encouraging me to allow inspiration, realistic and productive inspiration, to act as a catalyst.
My 6-digit date number is 3. Good one! This is the number that tells of the concept of “surface” and of being able to determine where I am, and of creative manifestation.
My horoscope: “Some pretty heavy soul searching could reveal that the time has come to make use of a talent you may have always had but never developed. This could involve nothing more than a little practice, or you could decide to get some formal training in the skill. This is a positive sign, Sagittarius, but your determination could waver over the next few days. Don't hesitate - stay with it!”
Wow!! I certainly am being given validation that now is the time for me to recreate myself, career-wise. Part of me is nervous, but I am going to give it my best shot.
I keep thinking that I am moving into the Albedo, but I am not quite certain. I do know that I have been going through the calcination of the Nigredo for some time, and this calcination process has been building. I have felt myself slowing down so that I can pay attention to what I am feeling as well as what I am doing. And the interesting realization I am experiencing is that the “negative” or uncomfortable feelings have purpose and value, just like the “positive” and pleasurable feelings. I find myself probing my discomforts in order to truly understand them, and in doing this, I am releasing things and feelings and beliefs that no longer serve me. This is the dissolution of the Nigredo, and this step seems to segue right into the Albedo. The Albedo is broken down into two processes: separation and conjunction. It is the separation that seems to lace together with dissolution; they seem to enable each other. In the process of probing my discomforts in order to understand them, I not only determine which things can be released, but I also determine which things are to be valued and nurtured. That is the separation process of the Albedo!
We had an interesting Pagan Brain Trust meeting last night. Each of us is going through a major shift. Each of us is striving to make major changes to our lives. I would say that I would not wish this type of challenge on anyone, but actually, I feel so alive. This whole process of “becoming,” with its glorious aha! moments and its frightening forays into the Shadow, is what life is all about. The Goddess gifts us with life and with living so that we can experience it all and learn from our experiences. I guess it takes a bit of danger to wake us up to the glories of living. And what makes this whole exhilarating and uncomfortable process so wonderful and so terrible is understanding it, and I am beginning to understand it.
I walked tonight after work, along my usual route, and I thought about how far I had come since I first began walking the Path of Wicca. I have a long way to go, but I am pleased with what I have done so far.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
My Thoth card is the Eight of Disks reversed. No “Prudence” today! In an upright position this card tells of the strength to be gained by doing nothing. Once a farmer sows his seeds, he needs to wait for the crops to mature before taking the next step. Apparently, my waiting time is just about over.
My Legacy card is the Two of Cups. I love Marchetti’s thoughts on this card. He sees this Two as representing our reflection in the eyes of one who loves us. Today I am to think of love, and I am to think of those who love me. Okay, I can do that.
My New Moon Pearls of Wisdom Card is The High Priestess. My significator card, and within the Pearls of Wisdom this card tells of the wisdom that is derived from the perilous and difficult journey that ends with the understanding of the Inner Self.
My 6-digit date number is 11 (Uriel), which reduces to 2, the number of “distance between” and initial manifestation.
My horoscope: “If you aren't careful, there's a strong possibility that you'll overindulge today, Sagittarius. Your career frustrations may manifest in the form of overeating, excess drinking, or reckless spending. These are just symptoms masking the real problem. If you can take some time to meditate, you'll calm your nerves and reveal the root of your frustration. Once you have the facts, it will be easier to devise an effective solution.”
I talked to Bob last night, telling him that I really would love to figure out a way that I can be my own boss. I just might have an opportunity coming up to really give this a try, and he supports me on this, although not in an open-ended fashion. And I understand completely; we do have a minimum amount of money that we need coming in. But my cards are telling me that this may be the right time to give being my own boss a try.
The Pagan Brain Trust did our first Reiki Share while everyone was in our chat room; I am blown away! I could sense and see clearly each person’s face, and feel each person’s energy, and my hands have not gotten that hot while sending Reiki in a long time. At the end of the 15 minute period of the Share, I drew my arms into my chest and hugged myself, and I began to tingle and pulse. Awesome!! J telephoned me right after the Share had completed, to describe her experiences. She ended up seeing the internet as a huge dragon, with scales that were computer screens. The internet as a dragon; that visualization really resonates! We are getting together tonight in Wayne, and I am pretty excited to talk about this some more. I sense another aha! moment!
I posted my first essay on the Sacred Mists Blog! Coincidentally, it is about Reiki; here is a link: http://sacredmistsblog.com/?p=661 I have been invited to submit more essays, and I am very excited about this. I admire the Blog’s content, and I am thrilled to be a contributing author. Another important step in my spiritual growth, thanks to Lady Raven and Sacred Mists.
I am finally feeling back to my healthy self again, physically. My discomfort issues of the past weekend are almost gone, and I am back to stretching in the morning. Tomorrow, I will resume my morning Yoga poses as well.
I feel a bit different today, more confident and more focused. I feel like I have a good grasp of both the things that have happened to me in the past few weeks and the benefits or potential benefits to be derived from them. The White Phase is progressing nicely.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
My Thoth card is the Knight of Swords. Clever yet unstable; this Knight is Air of Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts); he is the uncompromising awakening of the mind so that the heart and mind can work together. Not a comfortable card.
My Legacy card is the Four of Swords reversed. In an upright position this card tells of the need to give the mind a rest in order for it to recuperate, but since the card is reversed, taking a pause might not be the right thing to do today.
My 6-digit date number is 9. My number. The number 9 is about completeness, about having it all, as opposed to the number 10, which is about completion, or an ending.
My horoscope: “Group activities, perhaps with a social, ecological, or humanitarian focus, could take place today somewhere in your neighborhood, Sagittarius. You might decide to attend with your romantic partner. You could encounter some friends in the process, and all of you could well be caught up in the excitement generated by those in the spotlight. Listen well and think about what you learn today. It might make a difference in your future.”
Where do I begin? Friday night I had the most awesome meditation. The four robed figures that first appeared to me during my Third Degree Entrance Assessment appeared to me again, standing in a row. The first one on the left, wearing the brooch of a Celtic tree, representing Earth, approached me first; he held out his arm and pointed to a hole in the ground that suddenly appeared at my feet. I got down into the hole and stretched out, and the robed figure began shoveling dirt onto me until I was buried. By now, I had learned not to fear these things and I relaxed as the weight of the soil pressed gently but firmly and evenly against my body. I felt supported and protected, and I filled my lungs with the fertile fragrance of the earth.
After a bit of time I sat up, and then climbed out of the hole. Next to step forward was the robed figure representing Water, and before me appeared a well. I jumped and did not fall long before I plunged into the water. Once immersed, I found myself in a dimly lit world; the water was clear and lit by a diffused light, and was teeming with light. I watched as tiny fish darted around in dense schools, and then were eaten by bigger fish, which were in turn eaten by even bigger fish. Soon, there was only one great big fish, and he set his eyes on me. I waited, floating in the water, as he came up from below me with his mouth gaping (no teeth, thankfully); he gulped me down and I was in the dark. Suddenly I shot out of the well and landed back on the ground, sopping wet.
I stood up as my clothes rapidly dried in the light breeze; I turned to look at the robed figure with the yellow tornado brooch. He did not move, but raised his arm and pointed at me; the breeze got stronger and stronger. I staggered against the onslaught, and then was swept away. I tumbled for a few moments but then got control of myself and rode the wind!
Eventually I circled back and landed before the robed figures, feeling refreshed and empowered. The last one, wearing the flame brooch, stepped forward and gestured; a huge bonfire appeared before me. I knew what to do; I stepped into the flames. There was no heat, just a comfortable warmth. The flames brushed against me, tickling me as first my clothes, and then my body hair, were consumed. When I stepped from the flames at last, I was new and pink and completely naked. And the robed ones were gone; instead, before me stood Young Cernunnos. He smiled and nodded in greeting, and gestured for me to approach Him; when I reached His side I turned back toward the fire. Cernunnos gestured, and the fire died down to ashes; He took my hand and led me to the fire, and then He reached down and coated two fingers on His right hand with ashes, and then once again drew the two lines along each of my cheeks, stretching from each ear to the corners of my mouth. He looked at the result of His work, and then smiled and nodded. He then very firmly reminded me that Beltane is approaching, and I need to get done the task He has set before me. LOL, He told me that He will take what He wants even if I don’t bring the results He has asked for, but it would be better if I am in the position to offer the results rather than having Him take them. Oy. Okay, then.
I expected to have an interesting weekend, and I did. The good part of the weekend was that I spent both days in my much loved Cape May garden. The bad part was that I was physically uncomfortable all weekend. I had a headache, and I must have been clenching my jaw while sleeping for my jaw ached. And I had a hemorrhoid flareup that is still hurting. I know, TMI, but it is interesting that my head, the place where I think, my mouth the place where I communicate, and my . . . er . . . bottom, the place where I void waste, are all being red flagged. Physical challenges are certainly a part of an initiatory process!
There have been changes in my responsibilities at Sacred Mists as well. I now am working with Brianna as my Co-Director of Divination. Hopefully there will be no more upheavals; LOL, just as I think the dust has settled, things churn up again, but finally the clouds of dust have blown away, and hopefully we will be able to get things in order. Exciting things happening in the Student Council, as well as in my Third Degree studies!
Today, more shakeups. The company for which I work has signed an agreement with a larger company; the larger company is going to purchase the company who employs me, and I may be out of a job in a few months. More challenges, and it is going to be an interesting Summer.
Danu has been with me all morning, standing behind me with Her hands on my shoulders, whispering encouragements in my left ear. She keeps telling me that there are purposes to these recent discomforts, and She keeps reminding me to be patient and to trust Her. Okay, I think I can do that. I feel like I am standing on the edge of a high cliff, the ground waaaay below me, as I contemplate whether to jump or turn around. The Universe/Judgement. . . . I need to keep looking at those cards.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
My Thoth card is the Knight of Swords reversed. In an upright position, this Knight represents very clever logic that ends up being very unstable because the logic becomes separated from practical reality by its purity. He is the military man, the hired mercenary who avenges his liege’s hurts without questioning the ethics involved. Because the card is reversed, there is hope that I may become aware of such actions before they have a chance to manifest consequences.
My Legacy card is the Five of Swords. This is such an interesting card because it proves that victory, when accomplished without compassion, can actually be defeat. An insistence on having my own way could end up having negative consequences today. Taken with the Knight of Swords reversed, these two cards and their warnings seem to act as a grounding to the Page and Magician. Confidence and childlike wonder can be benefits, but not when I step on others’ toes as I experience the awe of life and living.
My 6-digit date number is 4, the number of depth and stability.
My horoscope: “You're likely to find people somewhat irritating today, Sagittarius. It's as though nothing is good enough, and nobody seems to know exactly what he or she wants. You'll reign supreme within this maze of overt conflict and dissatisfaction. You might even be asked to step in and restore order. If the conflict is domestic, go ahead. But tread carefully if you're asked to be the sheriff at the office!”
I am amazed at how synchronicity works. Psychological alchemy comes to me at just the right time (even though I had access to information about it, literally at my fingertips, for a while), and then other bits of information come to me, also from sources that I have had in my possession in one way or another but had not connected to. When the time is right, the teacher (or the lesson) appears. The information below is taken directly from Wikipedia and the Vedic Conservatory website. I will be learning Nuad Boram in June through the Vedic Conservatory.
The Five Sheaths
This is the sheath of the physical self, named from the fact that it is nourished by food. Living through this layer man identifies himself with a mass of skin, flesh, fat, bones, and filth, while the man of discrimination knows his own self, the only reality that there is, as distinct from the body.
Pranamaya means composed of prana, the vital principle, the force that vitalizes and holds together the body and the mind. It pervades the whole organism, one of the physical manifestation is the breath. As long as this vital principle exists in the organisms, life continues. Coupled with the five organs of action it forms the vital sheath. In the Vivekachoodamani it is a modification of vayu or air, it enters into and comes out of the body.
Manomaya means composed of manas or mind. The mind (manas) along with the five sensory organs is said to constitute the manomaya kosa. The manomaya kosa, or “mind-sheath” is said more truly to approximate to personhood than annamaya kosa and pranamaya kosha. It is the cause of diversity, of I and mine. Sankara likens it to clouds that are brought in by the wind and again driven away by the same agency. Similarly, man’s bondage is caused by the mind, and liberation, too, is caused by that alone.
Vijnanamaya means composed of vijnana, or intellect, the faculty which discriminates, determines or wills. Chattampi Swamikal defines vijnanamaya as the combination of intellect and the five sense organs. It is the sheath composed of more intellection, associated with the organs of perception. Sankara holds that the buddhi, with its modifications and the organs of knowledge, form the cause of man’s transmigration. This knowledge sheath, which seems to be followed by a reflection of the power of the cit, is a modification of prakrti. It is endowed with the function of knowledge and identifies itself with the body, organs etc.
This knowledge sheath cannot be the supreme self for the following reasons;
It is subject to change.
It is insentient.
It is a limited thing.
It is not constantly present.
Anandamaya means composed of ananda, or bliss. In the Upanishads the sheath is known also as the causal body. In deep sleep, when the mind and senses cease functioning, it still stands between the finite world and the self. Anandamaya, or that which is composed of Supreme bliss, is regarded as the innermost of all. The bliss sheath normally has its fullest play during deep sleep: while in the dreaming and wakeful states, it has only a partial manifestation. The blissful sheath (anandamaya kosha) is a reflection of the Atman, which is bliss absolute.
The Atman (connected to root words meaning breath and to breathe) is a philosophical term used within Hinduism and Vedanta to identify the soul whether in global sense (world's soul) or in individual sense (of a person own soul). It is one's true self (hence generally translated into English as 'Self') beyond identification with the phenomenal reality of worldly existence.
Philosophical schools such as Advaita (monism) see the soul within each living entity as being fully identical with Brahman – the all-pervading soul of the universe, whereas other schools such as Dvaita (dualism) differentiate between the individual atma in living beings, and the Supreme atma (Paramatma) as being at least partially separate beings. Thus atman refers to the individual soul or the observer being.
Within Advaita Vedanta philosophy the Atman is the universal life-principle, the animator of all organisms, and the world-soul. This view is of a sort of panentheism (not pantheism) and thus is sometimes not equated with the single creator God of monotheism. Identification of individual living beings/souls, or jiva-atmas, with the 'One Atman' is the monistic Advaita Vedanta position, which is critiqued by dualistic/theistic Dvaita Vedanta. Dvaita Vedanta calls the all-pervading aspect of Brahman Paramatman quantitatively different from individual Atman and claims reality for both a God functioning as the ultimate metaphorical “soul” of the universe, and for actual individual “souls” as such. The Dvaita, dualist schools, therefore, in contrast to Advaita, advocate an exclusive monotheistic position wherein Brahman is made synonymous with Vishnu. Aspects of both philosophies are found within the schools of Vishishtadvaita Vedanta and Achintya Bheda Abheda.
Mostly however, the delights of the physical kosha have trapped our awareness relentlessly prohibiting experience and nurturing of the other spiritual dimensions. We want and need the influx of the other koshas in order to have self revelation.
The physical kosha is represented by the mysteriously alluring intervention of our 5 senses [sight, sound, touch, taste, smell]. The mind of course being the master juggler of these 5 energies provides orientation and relativity for the soul.
Each of the koshas are connected to the preceding kosha by an interfacing pranic occurrence such as a wheel [chakra] or a sphere [marma]. Sacred channels [nadis], described as careening rivers of rainbow light, are also constituents of this anatomy and also function on all 5 koshas.
When emancipated consciousness flows and radiates attuning itself to primordial spirit, then we are experiencing the information and life of the other koshas. We are experiencing our self truly and purely, a most desirable satisfaction which subsequently inspires us to welcome personal evolution, growth and healing.
So . . . .
What are these chakras, bio-vortexes, marmas and nadis congested with?
In Sanskrit the term is Anarthas which means “unwanted undesirables.”
Nuad Boram (Vedic Thai Massage) addresses these reservoirs of dormant vitality and releases them of doubts, fears, angers, sorrows, resignations, ignorance and pain [artificial control] and any one of the other 2,700 negative and unresourceful emotions and feelings circulating within our bio-sphere.
Nuad Boram truly opens and sanctifies these congested and retarded longings thus releasing perhaps decades of thwarted intentions and unfulfilled expectations so that we can continue returning towards our spiritual home, the paradise of transcendent pleasure, perpetual peace and perfection. Hence the emotional weeping and joy that frequents our art's session.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
My Thoth card is the Two of Cups reversed. The “Love” card reversed. While the day may include lots of inner focus, apparently that focus may not include too much awareness of the emotion of love. I need to remember that love is always the answer, there is more to love than romance, and I can’t allow myself to be distracted from that knowledge.
My Legacy card is the Ace of Wands reversed. In an upright position, Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes) and Summer (Cancer “I feel,” Leo “I am,” and Virgo “I serve”) correspond to this Ace, and it is the potential for all connected to these concepts. Creativity and excitement may not be present today, and while I may sense the potential for stimulating interactions and the ideas and good feelings manifested by those interactions, they may not be readily available for manifestation.
My 6-digit date number is 3, the number of manifestation. The number 3 tells of the concept of “location,” as well as “surface” or “area.” It tells me that today I know where I’ve been and I have a pretty good idea where I’m going.
My horoscope for today: “You could have an urge to invent new things, Sagittarius. You feel compelled to create something in the artistic, technical, or philosophical field. If only you'd give yourself enough time to pursue these ideas! Today, realize that concentration is the key to accomplishment. Put away periodicals, computer, phone, and other such distractions and you might well be surprised by the wealth of inspiration that comes to you.”
I learned a new term today, and it is really affecting me: “evolutionary momentum.” This term is presented in The Tibetan Book of the Dead. The translator, Robert Thurman, brings forth an interesting concept: if life evolves and mutates physically in order to better survive, why can't life evolve and mutate mentally for the same reason? Each of us here at Sacred Mists can attest to the fact that our mind, our thinking patterns and our psyche can be changed. The human life form and its psyche are the evolutionary product not only of negatives such as hate and greed and isolation, but also of their opposites: patience and generosity and intelligent sensitivity. By voluntarily choosing to depart from an instinctive response of hate, just one time, and choosing to instead experience patience, even if you force it on yourself, you are ever so slightly decreasing the strength of an automatic hate-reaction to being betrayed or hurt. If you voluntarily choose to depart from an instinctive reaction of greed and replace that greed with generosity, even if you need to grit your teeth on order to do so, you ever so slightly decrease your automatic attachment-reaction when confronted with a desire.
Patience and generosity (and all the other positive feelings or emotions that correspond to their polar opposites) are stimulated and made to appear desirable because when you voluntarily choose them you are gifted by an infinitesimal quanta of a heightened sensitivity to other beings. The more you choose to embrace the positive feelings, the more connected you feel to the world. The cumulative effect of these voluntary departures from the push of instincts and accustomed behaviors develops evolutionary momentum!
Everything gained by evolutionary momentum can be easily lost. Pride in your accomplishment, the kind of pride that isolates and is fed on self-delight and the perception of being better than others, addiction to the power brought to you by the perception of greatness, or allowing yourself to forget the plight of others who are still struggling and to forget that you were once one of them, and many more missteps, can send you backwards very easily.
I need to remember this concept, and I need to remember that there are always consequences to even the most insignificant action. I have a responsibility to be aware. And I do enjoy the reward of voluntarily choosing to act in order to increase my evolutionary momentum: a deeper and stronger connection to all life.
Fasten your seat belt!!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
My Thoth card is the Eight of Swords. “Interference” again; had this card on Saturday with my Thoth Tarot. Crowley sees this card a bit different than the usual interpretation of being bound and not trying to escape. He doesn’t see this as merely enabling the trials and tribulations of the day, but rather in typical Crowley upside down fashion, he sees this card as warning being good natured is not going to save the day; a knockout punch will have much more power to make things right!
My Legacy card is the Queen of Wands reversed. Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts) of Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes), in an upright position she represents wanting things on ones own terms, and of the attitude of “don’t mess with me!” Her strength of will is a good thing when she is on our side, but if she is not, then look out. Since the card is reversed, there may be some issues with a strong woman today.
My 6-digit date number for today is 11 (Uriel) which reduces to 2. This number represents the concept of “distance between,” and if the first physical manifestation of potential.
My horoscope: “Regardless of your situation, Sagittarius, you'll want to take the easy way out. There's a laziness sweeping over you, and you could be trying to find a way to sneak out of some responsibilities. Even if this idea seems terrific now, it's likely to get you into some trouble later. Be wary of cheating the system and then expecting the full benefits of hard work in return. You'll earn exactly what you deserve.”
Cernunnos has been with me all day. He keeps reminding me that Beltane is less than a month away, and that while I have come a long way, there are still things to be done before he will accept my dedication. Not the least of which is writing my ritual. But I am crossing things off my To Do List, and perhaps that is one reason why He appeared today, but I am also thinking about the Albedo Phase quite a bit.
Last night, I burned my runes, my first set; I used the ash rounds that Mystery sent to me. They are beautiful!! And instead of the traditional 25 tiles, I included one extra because the wood grain on the round created an eye! I augmented it just a bit with the wood burner, and put it into the bag with the rest of the runes.
I have been doing more planning for my BOS, looking at end papers, thinking about oils and sigils and such. And ribbon colors! Do I want one for each main chakra? Do I want more than seven ribbons?
I also emailed Helen this afternoon a PDF of a rough version of a possible logo for our attempt at a business. As each day passes, I am becoming more excited about learning Thai Massage.
Monday, April 5, 2010
The Universe reversed/Seven of Swords. The Universe, Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes), Saturn (discipline, responsibility, resistance, law and order) and Thav (mark or sign), represents energy that is similar to The Magician, touching on all four elements; however, this energy does not need to be grounded the way the energy of The Magician needs to be grounded. In an upright position, this card would be telling me that I am one with the Source. However, the card is reversed, and coupled with the Seven of Swords, which tells of clinging to the point of being unethical in order to hold on to something. There is always danger in trying to prevent life from evolving and moving on, and if I am doing this, I need to watch my step.
My Thoth card is the Five of Disks; the “Worry” card as in worrying sheep, or a tooth ache. The worries must have something to do with Earth or the physical world, and they must have something to do with motion.
My Legacy card is the Three of Coins. Another Earth card! Heavy day!! The Three of Coins also tells of work to be done, but unlike the Five, this card tells of fulfillment and even pleasure to be gained from my efforts. I am reminded by this card to pay attention to details.
My 6-digit date number is 1, the number of “Position,” and of potential.
My horoscope: “You might talk as if you possess many lifetimes of wisdom, Sagittarius. Perhaps you do, but that doesn't mean you should be arrogant about it. Your words might have the tone of a sage schooled in every subject. As a result, you could grow frustrated with others who act immature or uneducated. It isn't your job to judge. Help others understand the bigger picture instead of assume they're unworthy or unwilling to learn.”
We had an absolutely beautiful weekend. We had lovely sun and warmth on Friday, walked on the beach and then went to Higbee Beach for most of the afternoon. We had steaks for dinner, and watched movies. Saturday was foggy and chilly, but we still walked, picked up some trails on Sunset Boulevard (saw a muskrat and ospreys and ducks and swans), and had our Easter dinner (rack of lamb; yummmm!!). Sunday we ended up at Sunset Beach, another day of sun and surf (and rocks and crystals and fossils!). I feel totally refreshed!
Tonight, Bob and I went for an approximately 2 mile walk. I feel strong and rested and refreshed, and spent today catching up on all the things I let slide for the weekend.
And here is more information on alchemy. The next stage of psychological alchemy is albedo; this information is from Wikipedia. Albedo is one of the four major stages of alchemy; along with nigredo, citrinitas and rubedo. It is a Latinicized term meaning “whiteness” and follows the nigredo stage. Following the harrowing, chaotic nigredo, it is necessary for purification provided by the albedo which is literally referred to as ablutio; the washing away of impurities by aqua vitae.
Psychologist Carl Jung equated the albedo with unconscious contrasexual soul images; the anima in men and animus in women. It is a phase where insight into shadow projections are realized, and inflated ego and unneeded conceptualizations are removed from the psyche.
Jung identified the anima as being the unconscious feminine component of men and the animus as the unconscious masculine component in women. However, this is rarely taken as a literal definition: many modern day Jungian practitioners believe that every person has both an anima and an animus. Jung stated that the anima and animus act as guides to the unconscious unified Self, and that forming an awareness and a connection with the anima or animus is one of the most difficult and rewarding steps in psychological growth. Jung reported that he identified his anima as she spoke to him, as an inner voice, unexpectedly one day.
Often, when people ignore the anima or animus complexes, the anima or animus vies for attention by projecting itself on others. This explains, according to Jung, why we are sometimes immediately attracted to certain strangers: we see our anima or animus in them. Love at first sight is an example of anima and animus projection. Moreover, people who strongly identify with their gender role (e.g. a man who acts aggressively and never cries) have not actively recognized or engaged their anima or animus.
Jung attributes human rational thought to be the male nature, while the irrational aspect is considered to be natural female. Consequently, irrational moods are the progenies of the male anima shadow and irrational opinions of the female animus shadow.
Hmmmm. . . . . Food for thought. Interesting that this comes up today, as I begin to think about Beltane and Cernunnos, and all the magickal rituals that will (hopefully) happen then.