Strength/Death reversed. Strength is a Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes) card corresponding to Leo (“I am,” passionate, independent, noble, selfish) and Teth (sieve or basket; digestion) that directs all that Fire and passion inward, promoting not only the control of emotions, but the rising above them. Death in an upright position is a Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts) card corresponding to Scorpio (“I desire,” intense, secretive, mysterious, controlling) and Nun (fish head; liberation). If Death was upright, I would be dealing with Balance today as these cards are opposites. Strength is about change (Fire) and Death is about staying the same (Water); Strength is about controlling and Death is about releasing. Because the Death card is reversed, it seems to me that the element of Fire and all of its correspondences is overcoming the inertia that occurs when the energies of the Death card are around. I have already passed through the doorway of Death, whether I know it or not, and I cannot go back.

My Thoth card for today is the Five of Wands reversed. The “Strife” card in an upright position represents Saturn (discipline, limitations, resistance, order) in Leo (“I am,” passionate, independent, noble, selfish), and that pretty much explains the chaos of the energies of this card. Motion and Fire, with nothing to ground or allow the softer influences to have a say. These energies are not evil; they are more like the reluctance of an employee to return from lunch break. If every phenomenon is a sacrament, then the upsetting of stability is a good thing. My card is reversed, so these conflicts of desires should be fading, and one path or idea should be gaining strength.

My Legacy card is The Chariot reversed. Another reversed Water card, this one corresponds with Cancer (“I feel,” sensitive, tenacious, home oriented, moody) and Cheth (the fence). In an upright position, this card tells of the opportunity to overcome or control both positive and negative emotions. Because this card is the precursor of the Strength card above, which tells of not only controlling emotions but rising above them, and because it is reversed, it is supporting or validating the Strength card.

My 6-digit date number for today is 4, the number of depth and stability. Today may end up being a slight pause, but it is a pause that is preparing me for more motion.

My horoscope: “Travel is in store today, Sagittarius. It could be a spur-of-the-moment trip with a friend. More likely, it will be a series of short trips closer to home. You could visit friends or take advantage of sales and do some shopping. Your active mind will pick up on all sorts of ideas for improving your home. Once the errands are done, go home and look at your space with a fresh eye. There is a lot you can do to improve it.”

Quiet day today; I am up in Hackensack this weekend because I have to work overtime tomorrow. We had a great SMPDA Open Reading Event today, and I was one of the Seekers. The advice was awesome! Every single reader said that it looks as if this is the time, the time for me to try something of my own. Yes, I need to be careful, but still, circumstances are the best right now.

I drew up a draft Client Information Form for the company that Helen and I are putting together. The company is going to be called “Sukha,” which is Sanskrit for running swiftly or easily (LOL, it literally means “having a good or freely turning axle-hole”), and we will be offering Thai Massage, Yoga, Reiki and my own exercise method, Belly Dance Stretch. Looks like this Summer may be a great time to give all of this a try!

I am excited because it is almost Beltane. Everything around me is blooming and lush, thanks in part to the crazy amount of snow and rain we had during the Winter and early Spring. Friday night, Mystery and I take the first step in preparation for our partnership dedication ritual, and I am excited about what is happening between us. We are writing all of our own rituals, and they are good! Lumina Mystica is happening! Once Beltane is over, Mystery and I are going to write a class on Shadow Crafting; looks like I will need to make time to read Raven Digitalis’s book!

So much growth and progress has happened, along with all the discomforts and worries and fears. More and more, I feel as if the physical part of me, the physical vehicle that carries my life force, is becoming less and less important as my inner self grows stronger and more vibrant. LOL, I don’t mean to say that I am not taking care of my physical body; on the contrary, I am doing my exercises and I am walking regularly once again. I am eating well and hardly indulging in my weekend cocktails any more. I am balancing my chakras each morning, after flooding them with Reiki. And yet, so much of what fills each day happens within me. That white noise that is background energy no longer buzzes quietly; instead, it presses against me. Danu is with me most of the time, and if She is not, then Cernunnos is. My own personal energy field is intensifying; it is almost a physical thing. I feel wonderful, and I feel connected to the astral realms in ways that I never expected.

More is coming, I am certain. I have already passed through the doorway without realizing it, and I know that I cannot go back. Once the light of awareness is turned on, it burns until the physical body stops working. No, that is wrong; the light of awareness never goes out.

I am blessed.

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