Thursday, April 29, 2010

Ten of Swords/The Fool. The Ten of Swords represents the result of over-reliance on logic and the workings of the mind without allowing emotions or stability or the unexpected to play their parts. The Fool, however, makes up for the cold logic that leads to destruction found in this Ten. Even though The Fool corresponds with Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts) as does the suit of Swords, and the planet Uranus, which is about technology and science, Uranus is also about the radical change and the unexpected that is not a part of the Ten. Aleph, the head, stands for youthful learning, filled with enthusiasm and awe; those are not found in the Ten of Swords either. The number 10 is about endings and completions, but The Fool is about endings that immediately transform into new beginnings. So endings are addressed in these cards today, and it appears that while I may not be able to control the timing of the ending, I am being told that I can control my reaction to the endings that happen. I can either feel weighed down by them, or I can see them as an exciting adventure.

My Thoth card is the Five of Cups reversed. Crowley calls this card ‘Disappointment,” and he feels that any disturbance of serenity or pleasure is not fun. Because the card is reversed, I will most likely not end up disappointed today, whether I experience the movement of the number 5 or the pleasure and serenity of the suit of Cups.

My Legacy card is the Four of Coins. This card is about the potential for security in the material world, to the point of ending up in possession of something that I may fear loosing. This is an interesting combination: material bounty and insecurity!

My 6-digit date number is 7, the beginning of the end of the balance of yesterday.

My horoscope: “As you get older, you're drawn more and more to spiritual matters, Sagittarius. It isn't so much that you're embracing any particular religion, more that you're quite curious about the supernatural and some of the ancient arts. Take some time today to visit the library or bookstore and do some reading on the subject. You might want to form a study group with other like-minded individuals.” Ya think?!

There is an essay on the website of the teacher of Thai Massage under whom I will soon be studying (Yay!!), regarding thresholds. In that essay, “threshold” is described as a passageway, or better yet, as an overture within a passageway. In Thai Massage, the concept of threshold is filled with intensity and power (with “intensity” being described as “listening for the echo” in order to correctly and efficiently direct focus). This means that each and every action or thought can be said to be a response to a threshold, and the resulting focus on that action or thought stimulates the vitality of everything involved in manifesting that action or thinking that thought.

The actual passing through the threshold can also be broken down. First there is the buildup of awareness. Then there is a moment called “relent,” which is the awe-inspiring peak or moment of transformation that offers access and a sanction of the efforts. The “relent” in turn grants “permission,” which opens us to all possibilities that lay beyond the threshold.

[Based on information from the essay, “Threshold Therapy,” from the Vedic Conservatory website.]

I am standing in the threshold between the Albido and the Citrinitas, wavering back and forth and seeking the Key of Entry that is hidden within this threshold. There are moments when all seems to be lit by the warm golden light of the Citrinitas, and then at other times, I feel that I have slipped back to the cleansing of the Albido. Unlike physical alchemy, this psychological process does not have clear and permanent moments of completing one stage and beginning another. Soon, I will pass through the threshold; I have a feeling that I had better get all these loose ends tied up first because once I pass, I will be only able to go forward to the next level.

And I have made much progress in understanding what is weighing me down these past four days. I do know what the blockage is, but I have not been successful, at least until this morning, in releasing the angst. Surprisingly, on the day of the full moon, it was Kali who assisted me. She has reminded me that allowing myself to agonize over decisions and the ability to control or not control events of the physical realms is a complete and utter waste of energy and abilities. Finally, both my brain and my heart are in accord, and the healing is progressing at an astounding rate. I am, after all, only responsible for my own actions and my own choices and my own responses; and everything in the physical world is quite temporary and not worth interfering with love.

Tonight, I will be doing my first Reiki Master attunements! I am excited and proud to be making my first Reiki Master/Teachers, two of my much loved Pagan brain Trust-ers. If all goes well (and I have no reason to expect this to **not** go well), I will be making another Master/Teacher in the near future, Pat from my belly dance class.

Awesome!!

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