Ace of Pentacles reversed/Seven of Wands. The Ace of Pentacles in an upright position represents the source of physicality and form, and the potential for tapping into necessary resources. It can be said that the rest of the Minor Pentacle cards are contained within the Ace, or at least the potential for the energies of the other cards to manifest. The Seven of Wands is offering valuable advice: act with integrity and take a stand for what you believe. I need to remember today that sometimes having a defensive mindset can cause me to shut out the good as well as the bad. I do need to be careful what I let in, but some concepts and effects will be valuable. Also, I have been told by Archangel Uriel that I need to be the Seven of Wands; He neglected to tell me whether I should be the person guarding the door or the person seeking entry.

My Thoth card is the Six of Cups. “Pleasure” of the nicest kind, and lots of fertility, too. Oh-kay!! Crowley saw this card as being one of the best out of the entire deck. This card is connected to the Sun, inner core of person or situation and the deepest self, in Scorpio, “I desire,” intensity, sex, compulsiveness and depth. So much intensity for such a serene (if a bit nostalgic) card! If I connect this Six to the Tree of Life, I need to examine the sephiroth of Tiphareth. Interestingly enough, Tiphareth is the hub of the creation process; it is a place where all energies harmonize and then focus to illuminate clarity. Tiphareth is the location of aha! moments! And since this is a Cups card, those aha! moments will be connected to my feelings and my Inner Voice.

My Legacy card is the Five of Coins. Okay, this really does make sense to me. Despite all the enthusiasm I am feeling about the possibilities being presented by the upcoming end of my job, money is a worry. I need to remind myself that money is not everything, and that I need to ask for help and trust that I will receive it.

I was drawn to throw a clarification card for that one due to the current situation in my work life, and threw the Four of Cups. This card is reminding me that I have many blessings, even if financial security for the foreseeable future is not one of them. This Four is encouraging me to be realistic, and it is also encouraging me to allow inspiration, realistic and productive inspiration, to act as a catalyst.

My 6-digit date number is 3. Good one! This is the number that tells of the concept of “surface” and of being able to determine where I am, and of creative manifestation.

My horoscope: “Some pretty heavy soul searching could reveal that the time has come to make use of a talent you may have always had but never developed. This could involve nothing more than a little practice, or you could decide to get some formal training in the skill. This is a positive sign, Sagittarius, but your determination could waver over the next few days. Don't hesitate - stay with it!”

Wow!! I certainly am being given validation that now is the time for me to recreate myself, career-wise. Part of me is nervous, but I am going to give it my best shot.

I keep thinking that I am moving into the Albedo, but I am not quite certain. I do know that I have been going through the calcination of the Nigredo for some time, and this calcination process has been building. I have felt myself slowing down so that I can pay attention to what I am feeling as well as what I am doing. And the interesting realization I am experiencing is that the “negative” or uncomfortable feelings have purpose and value, just like the “positive” and pleasurable feelings. I find myself probing my discomforts in order to truly understand them, and in doing this, I am releasing things and feelings and beliefs that no longer serve me. This is the dissolution of the Nigredo, and this step seems to segue right into the Albedo. The Albedo is broken down into two processes: separation and conjunction. It is the separation that seems to lace together with dissolution; they seem to enable each other. In the process of probing my discomforts in order to understand them, I not only determine which things can be released, but I also determine which things are to be valued and nurtured. That is the separation process of the Albedo!

We had an interesting Pagan Brain Trust meeting last night. Each of us is going through a major shift. Each of us is striving to make major changes to our lives. I would say that I would not wish this type of challenge on anyone, but actually, I feel so alive. This whole process of “becoming,” with its glorious aha! moments and its frightening forays into the Shadow, is what life is all about. The Goddess gifts us with life and with living so that we can experience it all and learn from our experiences. I guess it takes a bit of danger to wake us up to the glories of living. And what makes this whole exhilarating and uncomfortable process so wonderful and so terrible is understanding it, and I am beginning to understand it.

I walked tonight after work, along my usual route, and I thought about how far I had come since I first began walking the Path of Wicca. I have a long way to go, but I am pleased with what I have done so far.

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