Monday, November 30, 2009

Judgement/Three of Wands reversed. Events, the reason they happened, and their accumulated effects will be on my mind today. My focus will not be forward; today I will be looking back to see just how I got to where I am at this moment.

My Thoth card is the Seven of Coins. Crowley calls this card “Failure,” and it tells of the potential of not getting things done mainly because there is no action. The problem with pausing if your load is heavy is that you might not have the energy to overcome inertia.

My Legacy card is the Queen of Cups reversed. This Queen lives comfortably in her environment of feelings, fantasies and altered states of perception. Because she is reversed, I may find myself very grounded today, so grounded that leaving the physical realms might need a mighty effort.

My horoscope: “A neighbor or relative to whom you haven't spoken for a while might suggest that you attend a social event together, dear Sagittarius. Make the time for it as it could open up doors for you that you wouldn't normally expect. Relationships of all kinds should be going especially well, and this includes romance. If you're involved, expect to grow closer. If you aren't currently involved, don't be surprised if someone new and exciting comes into your life.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving in Myrtle Beach. We made it just in time for dinner on Thursday. Friday we vegged in front of the television, digesting our turkey, and then went to dinner at New York Prime, one of the best steak houses I have ever eaten at. Had my bone-in ribeye, done to perfection. Nothing like a little cow after all that turkey. LOL, I am a carnivore at times, but I miss my salads. Saturday we walked around in Huntingdon Beach State Park, and we even revisited Atalaya Castle. All too soon, we were back at Myrtle Beach Airport, and we got back home yesterday afternoon.

I ate waaaay too much, but we had such a good time. We saw deer, eagles, hawks, woodpeckers, and of course, turkey vultures; at the beach we saw a pod of dolphins, and then watched a group of brown pelicans as they fished for lunch. Saturday night we started a fire in the firepit, and we were visited by a group of coyotes; they stayed in the shadows, but we could hear them passing by, and the neighborhood dogs went crazy until they moved on.

I felt very grounded in the physical world for most of the weekend, but I spent about an hour and a half on Saturday morning, sitting outside while everyone else slept. I had my moments of connection to Nature, but it was Nature in its primitive, natural state.

Back to reality today, and back on my diet. Christmas is coming, and I need to get rid of some of this Thanksgiving padding.


Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Justice reversed/The Empress reversed. Justice reversed is a fitting card for the first day of a new personal solar year; today I start anew, with no karma (at least recent karma) to deal with. I start with a clean slate today, and I need to remember that I will be creating new “causes” that will manifest into “effects” later on.

My Thoth card is the Prince of Cups reversed. In an upright position, Crowley sees this Prince as being outwardly serene with hidden, inner violence and passion deep within him. Because the card is reversed, those strong feelings may show themselves, but there will be compassion and caring as well, to balance out the emotional eruptions.

My Legacy card is the Ten of Swords reversed. In an upright position, this card tells of overkill, pain and a sense of loss, often self-imposed and unfounded. Today, I may find that this sense of loss is fading away, possibly because I chose to allow it to do so.

My horoscope: “Good news! It looks as if money is coming your way. Perhaps you're getting a good bonus, or perhaps you've received a good review and will be getting a substantial raise. Hearing about this will definitely boost your mood, dear Sagittarius, and because you're feeling good, you'll be especially nice to those around you, and they'll reciprocate in kind. Enjoy your day!”

I woke up irritable this morning, and it took me a few minutes but I figured out why. Today is the first day of the new moon phase of my personal solar year; LOL, in other words, it is my birthday. This year, I have been feeling a shift of focus. Over the past three or four days, I have been very much aware of where I have been and what I have done, what I have gained and what I have lost. This morning things have changed, and I think my irritability surfaced because I was subconsciously fighting that change. I don’t wanna get a year older! It really is only a day, however, and this is a good thing, this change in focus, because in turning my eyes forward I am willingly releasing the old stuff that is not serving me any more.

And circumstances seem to be doing their best to prevent me from focusing on my age. My horoscope is up-beat and energized, I had birthday wishes even before today, received a phone call birthday wish from a friend, had some great e-cards in my inbox this morning, and when I went to my Sacred Mists Journal to post my own birthday ruminations, I found several posts offering birthday wishes. I don’t know why, but I am always pleasantly surprised when I receive unsolicited good wishes, and when I visit my Journal and find that visitors to my Journal leave me well-wishes. Each of these birthday wishes gives me a warm feeling inside, and I am smiling as I remember them.

I have decided that for today, in the name of each friend and loved one who has touched my life, I will be smiling at everyone who crosses my path, whether they are known to me or strangers, and I will be taking a brief moment to think about what it is about this person that brings me something positive. I anticipate that it will be an interesting day.


Sunday, November 22, 2009

The Lovers reversed/Six of Swords. I am seeing these cards as having a literal meaning today. My company has gone home, and my Love is elsewhere; I am putting things back in order after spending a wonderful day with company. After a much anticipated weekend (which has met my expectations nicely), I am changing my focus to the next event. Oy. My 55th birthday. *waves to Archangel Uriel* Hi! I am sure that you want to talk to me.

My Thoth card is the Three of Cups reversed. I threw the “Abundance” card reversed on Friday, when I was alone in Cape May. If this is going to be the same type of day, I am happy. A day filled with pondering and absorbing the events of yesterday would be fitting.

My Legacy card is the Five of Wands reversed. Another indication of a calm if not bland day; waning energies are what I am dealing with. I do need such a day, as I would like to not only remember the weekend just past, but begin to flesh out some ideas I have had regarding my sacred masculine wand (LOL, you remember, the elk penis).

The Wayne Contingency, TL, E and J, had a wonderful time in Cape May. Once they arrived, we spent the afternoon on the beach, walking, taking pictures, looking for “treasures.” We stayed until sundown, and watched the Sun Father sink into the sea, with the Moon Mother following behind. Another glorious sight. We came back to the house, cooked dinner, E gave us an awesome yoga class, and after many stimulating discussions we finished the night with a chakra meditation. I can still feel the ebbs and flows of energies, flavored here and there with a hint of each of their presence here. We thought of L, and looked forward to the official Retreat, where we will have a complete set.

Today as I digest the past few days and think about the winding down of my personal dark moon phase of my personal solar year, I think about that third part of my persona, the Wiccan Priestess. This part of me can be broken down to two subheadings: what I perceive Wicca to be, and why I am dedicated to Wicca.

Wicca is a mystery spiritual tradition that sees Deity as being a dynamic balance of polar opposites, male and female, dark and light, hot and cold, inner and outer, both of which opposites are necessary for wholeness. Wiccans see Deity as imminent, as being present within everything, rather than as transcendent, existing apart and watching over us all. We don’t worship the trees or the rocks, but rather we worship the traits of Deity that we see within the traits of the trees and the rocks. Wiccans believe that all of life exists within and manifests through the cycle of birth, life, death, rest, and rebirth, and we believe that in aligning ourselves with those cycles we become closer to Deity.

Wiccans see their relationship with Deity as being experiential in nature, hence the “mystery” of the term “mystery spiritual tradition.” We do not have revealed texts or written-in-stone, never-to-be-messed-with ideas and beliefs about Deity. While some may be more comfortable with that kind of permanent framework, Wiccans see their own knowledge about Deity as constantly evolving, and we are always working new facts and new knowledge into the general, overall picture of Deity. Because of the nature of the Wiccan perception of Deity, Wiccans don’t believe that there is any one right way to worship Goddess and/or God; each religion and each belief is right for the person practicing that religion or belief. We do not preach conversion of the world to Wicca, and we don’t want to be “saved.”

While a more experienced Priestess and/or Priest may lead our groups and our rituals, we do not communicate with Deity through the intercession of officially designated ministers and we do not exist under the umbrella of any one human authority or counsel. Our knowledge and belief regarding Deity is alive and constantly evolving, and we see the seeking of any knowledge regarding Deity or our world, including all the sciences, as a sacred task.

Wiccans also believe in the concept of personal responsibility, and the willing acceptance of the ownership of both our actions and the consequences of our actions is a basic underpinning of Wicca. There is no devil to make us do anything and no spiritual guide or authority who can intercede in our name. We believe that everything we do circles back to us, and thus we choose our actions carefully and attempt to cause the least amount of harm.

So we have the keywords: dual, imminent, cycles, experiential, personal responsibility.

As to why I am a Wiccan, it seems that I blossom in this kind of environment with these keywords. As I have been told by my dearest Lady Danu, in the astral realms there is no judgment imposed on any one or any thing by another; the only one who judges me is me. I am accepted as who I am, I have been able to discover the skills that are uniquely mine, and I have been able to manifest those skills as I help myself to evolve, and help others to evolve. Sounds fluffy, I know, but being able to successfully overcome a challenge and then shine a light on the methods I used so that someone else can also succeed by using my methods as a foundation for their own success is quite awesome to experience, and addictive.

I have come to value the things and experiences that I don’t share with the world. Yes, those who are close to me know my Path and share my joy with the fulfillment I experience during my Journey. But most of my acquaintances see a kind of cool yet average middle aged woman. My “Clark Kent” persona; but I’ve got a secret! *wink*


Saturday, November 21, 2009

Ten of Wands reversed/Two of Cups reversed. Okay, I need to remember that there is a small potential for the events of the day to end up depleting me, but that potential is small. Energy will be flowing, with Fiery results, and this day will not be about my personal needs or choices, but rather the needs and choices of the group.

My Thoth card is the Nine of Cups reversed. Another reversed Cups card. This one tells me that I won’t be receiving happiness today due to synchronicity or luck. I will have to work on attaining happiness, and make do with what I have in my possession today.

My Legacy card is the Three of Coins. Well, as much as I am being told that today is not about my own emotions and fulfillment, I am also being told that today will be a labor of love that is manifested through hard-earned skills. I understand this perfectly!

My horoscope: “Today your physical energy, Nancy, along with your enthusiasm, is very high, so you're definitely up for any task at hand. Your mind is also sharp and capable of accomplishing feats of ingenuity you would never have thought of before. The only downside: You could get carried away and work your way into exhaustion. Remember to pace yourself.”

I just love the way my horoscope validates my card pulls of the day!

Miss Pauline woke me up again last night. She sat down on the bed, and nudged me until I woke up; then she leaned over and gently brushed my hair back from my forehead. How cool is that!? I have been doing a little experimenting, and I find that she will not wake me up if I leave the hall light on or if I am sleeping with my cell phone next to me. LOL, and when I am alone in the house, I am somewhat of a baby about being in the dark, but this is my nudge to learn how to trust my own protective powers.

Pagan Brain Trust Wayne Contingency is only moments away, and the sun is shining!


Friday, November 20, 2009

The Chariot reversed/Eight of Wands. The Chariot is about the use of Will to create the greater good through one’s emotions, but since it is reversed, I am being told that attempting to apply Will to my emotions today might be a fruitless endeavor, for there will be strong releases of energy happening today, and my best reaction just might be to hang on and enjoy the ride.

My Thoth card is the Three of Cups reversed. The “Abundance” card, but reversed; this day will not be about dreams coming true, but the unexpected can be fun, too.

My Legacy card is The Tower reversed. Okay, since the card is reversed, I may not have to worry about my “safety zone” today. Not that I can be careless; after all it may be reversed, but the card is there today. The potential for sudden chaos isn’t huge, but it is there.

Horoscope: “It's an excellent forecast for you, dear Sagittarius! Although no specific events leading to this will occur today, there is huge promise of freedom for the next few months. In your chief occupation and in your love life, a fundamental shift is about to occur. As the months unfold, you can expect to be more visionary, more creative, and perhaps more rebellious. This time, you'll be much more effective than in the past two or three years.”

Well, that is a good horoscope; I hope it is correct.

Today I am thinking about my “employee self.” Except for about 2 ½ years when my son was born and two different 4 week periods when I collected unemployment after being laid off, I have been working since right after I graduated from high school. I have always been an employee, always worked for someone else. I have worked for large companies, medium sized companies, satellite offices and sole practitioners. But I have never worked for myself, at least not for a career.

I find that I like the smaller offices. I am not afraid to work hard, but I like the greater opportunity for flexibility that is found in a smaller office. If I am 2 minutes late, I don’t have to sweat; likewise, if I have to stay 10 minutes to finish something, no worries about that either. I can be flexible about vacation time because I understand and accept that there are times when I can’t take off. That has never been a problem for me.

What is a problem for me is the concept of a 9 to 5 job. I don’t want to work every day; mind you, if there is work to be done, working every day is not an issue for me, especially if my work is fulfilling. But if things are slow, I want to be able to adjust my hours. I can’t do that right now.

Am I a good employee? For the most part, I am. I am loyal, willing to work hard, and I get self-satisfaction from knowing that I have done my job to the best of my ability.

I just want to be my own employee.

*wink* Workin’ on that.

I left work early today because the “Wayne Contingency,” three of the four members of the Pagan Brain Trust, will be arriving in Cape May tomorrow. I am looking forward to their arrival; we are supposed to have a great day, weather wise, and we have plans!! Yoga and Reiki and all kinds of cool things! This will be the first time that we won’t have such a tight time schedule. The only regret is that Lorraine could not be with us this time, but we will do this again soon, I am certain!

It took me much longer than I planned to make the drive because every so often traffic was funneled into one lane as lines were being painted on the road. I watched the sun going down further in the sky, and just as I gave up on the possibility of making it to Cape May in time to see the sunset, I was here. I went right to the beach, parked my car and ran onto the sand. The orangy red orb of the sun was just above the slate blue of the ocean. And there, just above, was the crescent new moon, Diana’s Bow, the Moon Mother, facing Her Lord and watching as He sinks below the horizon. She will be right behind Him, setting just two hours after her Lord.

What a beautiful sight, all crammed into about five minutes! I felt a bit overwhelmed as I walked back to my car. LOL, but a glass of wine is fixing that right up!


Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Sun/King of Wands reversed. Today will bring for me a time of knowing that I have done the work and thus, I am reaping the rewards. I do understand very well that this time of enjoyment, of seeing the road ahead as well paved and devoid of traffic, will not last long. I can relax, fer sher, but as I relax I need to build enthusiasm for tackling the next task or challenge, for it will be upon me soon enough. For today, though, the intensity of transformation will ebb, maybe enough for me to hear the background noises of my own existence.

My Thoth Card is the Ten of Wands reversed. I am being reminded that the work is not yet done, but for now, the burdens are not overwhelming. There will not be “Oppression” today, and I will be able to govern myself without extremes, but I can’t forget that the potential for tyranny is present.

My Legacy card is the Page of Coins; hmm . . . same card as yesterday only yesterday’s Page of Coins was reversed. My focus may be Earthy today, and on the things I need to accomplish or finish up. The energies of the day are supportive of this, and I should put my shoulder to the grindstone and push with enthusiasm.

My horoscope: “Emotionally you should be feeling strong today, dear Sagittarius, although you may find that there is an idea running through your head that is asking you to slow down and take things once step at a time. The internal dialogue could drive you crazy if you are not careful. The most important thing for you to do at this time is to simply follow your heart. Do what you love to do, and associate yourself with the people you love and respect the most.”

Because I am coming to the end of the dark moon phase of my own solar year (which will end as I move into the new moon phase of a new personal solar year on my birthday), I have been doing some “internal housecleaning.” I have been giving a lot of thought to exactly who I am, so that I can determine through the experiences of the past year exactly what still remains valuable about “me,” and what no longer applies.

Basically, there are three major components or persona within my life (in no particular order of importance): family member, employee, and Priestess. I am setting myself a task: over the next four days, I am going to describe in detail each facet, with the intention of throwing out the old to make room for the new.

Being a family member can be complicated, especially if I want to be a good family member. Bob’s family is a delight, mainly because they talk to each other on a regular basis, so no one really falls through the cracks. At a minimum, we all get together once a month for a birthday brunch to celebrate the birthdays of that month, but during football season there are more opportunities to get together. In the Spring, Summer and Fall, family members come to Cape May, we have an incredibly awesome family vacation that everyone in the immediate family attends, and we have an annual Christmas/Yule dinner at our house that I call the “cook a cow night.” My in laws are intelligent and well spoken and have strong individual personalities and beliefs, and yet each of them, no matter where they fall on the liberal-conservative spectrum, is open to the validation of anyone else’s beliefs. How cool is that?

My family is more typical of the modern extended family. We don’t see each other on a regular basis, and if it were not for FaceBook, I would not know what is happening in their lives. However, when we do get together, we pick up right from where we left off at the last gathering. Everyone understands that life sometimes gets in the way, and everyone is comfortable with the occasional gathering. My son, Brian, is the exception to this. I have an awesome relationship with my son, and this did not completely happen on its own. I put the time in, back when Brian was in high school, and I have encouraged him to be a productive and honorable member of society under whatever terms work for him. I am proud to say that he has done this.

Bob and I have a core group of friends (LOL, the OPC, and we will just leave it at that), who we see on a regular basis for birthdays and weekends in Cape May. I have a few friends of my own, Sharon, my dance partner and Dominican Republic travel companion, and several fellow students (and former students *waves at Vulture*) at Sacred Mists, with whom I share friendships.

Things actually seem pretty good with my relationships with those I consider family.

Tomorrow, I will asses my “employee self.”


Friday, November 13, 2009

Ten of Pentacles/Three of Cups. Today will be a day of awareness of blessings, and I am being told that I need to be certain that I keep these blessings alive. Locking them away to keep them safe will cause them to dissipate; it would be better if I passed those gifts on, for giving them away to benefit a group or community will end up bringing them right back to me, even better than before.

My Thoth card is the Two of Cups reversed. This card is the Lord of Love, and the Lord of Water. It is reversed so today I may find that connecting with my own emotions and my Inner Voice may not be quite so easy.

My Legacy card is the Queen of Wands. This Queen never does anything halfway, and she knows very well how it feels to be truly alive. I will be feeling my authority today, and I will be optimistic and filled with the joy of life. Happy Friday!!!

Horoscope: “Today's prospects should suit the dynamic, idealistic being that you are, especially right now. There will be some criticism in the air, and you won't miss the opportunity to punctuate your comments with your well-known irony. Your viewpoints on corporate rigidity and conformist attitudes are well known, but today your sense of humor prevails, and people listen to you with pleasure!”

The Pagan Brain Trust met last night. We had a long discussion regarding the Goddess and the Moon, and talked in depth about the 40,000 year lunation cycle, and how we all believed that we are lucky enough to be alive at the beginning of a new lunation cycle. Experiencing the early Waxing Moon phase of the Goddess is causing each of us to not only reconnect with our right brain and its focus on cycles and connections, but to do so without losing the strong connection to the left brain and its linear focus that offers analysis and the ability to differentiate. We all agreed that some major step in the evolution of the human psyche seems to be just beyond the horizon and approaching.

We finished the night by performing our very first ritual together. One of our much-loved members is truly embarking on an alchemic and spiritual and physical Journey of transformation; there are issues for her with family members who are against this transformation. And so, we put together a protection ritual at the last moment, and performed it at the end of our evening. And all I can say is: sweet Danu, we gathered some energy last night! I am glad that we cast a circle because that circle held our energy close and we were able to charge and release that energy with amazing effectiveness. Three of us have had Reiki attunements, and the Reiki turned on and flowed with amazing power, without any conscious though or choice. Once we had completed the working and released the circle, we were all shaken by the power that had flowed through us and collected within our circle. I don’t know about everyone else, but I am looking forward to trying something like this again.

I received my package from Mystery yesterday, which contains some of the gifts that she received on both of our behalf after her huge and challenging magickal working from the beginning of November. In the package was the sacred masculine wand in its natural form (made of . . . brace yourself . . . ready? an elk penis) as well as the genital appendage associated with it, already tanned, a turkey feather, and a hawk talon. I am excited because it is my job to decorate the wand, and I can’t wait to begin researching this and choosing my decorations. Mystery is working on the turtle shell and the two medicine bags that are being made from the ears of the elk. All of this is based on Lakota tradition, and I will be interested to see how much of this is similar to Lenape tradition (I have a Lenape ancestor).


Thursday, November 12, 2009

The Fool/The Lovers reversed. Today may be a day filled with potential and possibilities, and I need to reach out and grab them with confidence if I want them to be a part of my life. My focus should not be on bringing these possibilities into my personal life, but rather on bringing them to any community that is important to me.

My Thoth card is the Knight of Cups reversed. My surface “self” is not important today; I need to turn myself inside out and allow my inner self to rule.

My Legacy card is The Star. Today I just might realize that although there has been chaos, it has been of the physical world. My inner self is unharmed, and is a stronger and better self because of the challenges that have presented themselves. I am “of the stars,” and today I can glimpse for a moment the Machinery of the Universe.

I have been reminded today of how valuable life is. We don’t know when our time is up, and for all I know, this could be my last journal entry. Like everyone else, I get caught up in the physical world, and in fulfilling my responsibilities to others. Those connections are important ones, because I get fulfillment from teaching and learning, from counseling others and being guided by the wisdom of others. However, I have found that taking a brief time out to think about the fragility of the physical body and the uncertainty of the future brings new sensitivity to me, and I am able to enjoy more the flavors of life after such a time out.

The person that I am now is in part composed of all the interactions I have ever had in this life; each of them, no matter how insubstantial or monumental, has nudged and directed my path, in part bringing me to this very place that I value so much. Today, I will attempt to treat each moment as if it is my last, for indeed once that moment has passed, it is gone and irretrievable. Whether the moment was happy or sad, joyous or hurting, angry or serene, it is unique, and thus valuable to me.


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Four of Wands reversed/Knight of Swords. Progress has been made, but it is not yet time for me to pause and rest for relaxing now may very well negate the opportunity to celebrate in the future. This need to keep trying may bring out the beee-och in me, and I need to be aware that my instinctive reaction to the unexpected may appear hostile to others. Force may very well be necessary, but I need to make sure that it is the right thing to do.

My Thoth card is the Ten of Cups. “Satiety” and all of its dangers and pleasures will be infused into my day, in typical pessimistic Crowley fashion. Achieving pleasure and enjoying pleasurable effects can be a good thing as long as I don’t allow pleasure to become a drug of stagnation. Achieving one’s heart’s desire is not always what we expect it to be, so I need to be careful what I wish for today because I may very well get it.

My Legacy card is the Three of Pentacles. This card tells me that the balancing act of the Two, which required focus and effort, is a thing of the past. I have gathered enough actual skill to now make a project a labor of love, and I will receive rewards on many levels, some of them not understood or verifiable by others.

My horoscope: “You will find that disciplined actions are the best way to go about your day today, dear Sagittarius. Stay focused on your path. You will find that you can accomplish many tasks at the same time if you play your cards right. Try not to get bogged down with details. People might cause you to worry too much. Don't let their energy get in the way of your progress.”

I am still experiencing changes and manifestations from our Student Council Orlando trip. I thought that these changes were mostly internal ones, but I think I am beginning to see evidence that these changes are visible to others. My focus within Sacred Mists has broadened, and I really do feel more confident taking on behind the scenes and administrative duties. My other focuses and responsibilities seem to be settling into schedules, which is a good thing. I have actually begun to work on my Third Degree group assignment again!

I am very excited about the things that my fellow Divination Director and I are working on for the entire Divination Department. We are overhauling and reassessing and formalizing the goals of the entire Department and taking the divination extension classes that fall under the umbrella of the Divination Department to new levels that will offer increased encouragement for students to learn about and work with different methods of divination. Leadership opportunities, in the form of apprenticeships and internships, will be offered wherever possible; these personal empowerment opportunities are what the classes are all about!

My Mediation Program responsibilities are offering me a chance to learn firsthand of the power and effects of the written word, and of the malleability and far-reaching manifestations of the online self. As Sacred Mists becomes larger and our student body becomes more varied, we are experiencing more and more situations where the written word is being misinterpreted, and we are experiencing more and more situations where the impact of the online self is being used as a weapon, many times without premeditation or conscious intent.

How the heck do we get people to realize that the written word is sterile and thus, attracts the emotions of the reader even though these very emotions were far from within the intent of the writer? How do we get people to realize that they impose their own expectations upon the online self of another, and thus **change** that online self from what its creator intended it to be to what they expect it to be?

*sigh* Food for thought for the day. Honor to the Vets!


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Six of Swords/The High Priestess. Today I am being told that if all other attempts have failed, the best action to take is to leave the problem behind. Sometimes mysteries are not meant to be completely understood; they just need to be accepted so that we can move on. Perhaps some day things will make sense, but for now I need to know that I have done my best.

My Thoth card is the Ace of Cups reversed. The Holy Grail; even though we want to believe (and need to believe) that love will always be enough, sometimes that is just not the case. Today, the deepest of my own feelings and inner messages may be difficult to discern.

My Legacy card is Judgement. This card is directly tied to the Justice card and its concept of cause and effect, but Judgement takes that concept a step further, and presents an invoice of services rendered, to be examined for credits and debits, and then paid for. This card tells me that I have surmounted many challenges, but the final step before releasing them is to revisit them, possibly in order to learn a thing or two and thus take something good away from even the most uncomfortable situation or decision of the past.

My horoscope: “Be careful of advertising yourself as someone who is so strong and mentally competent that you are capable of handling everything, dear Sagittarius. Take note that the strongest mule on the trail usually ends up carrying the most weight. Your emotions are more sensitive than you may think, and certainly more sensitive than you demonstrate to others. Be honest about the way you feel, and not just the way you think.”

Awesome Jazz Festival weekend! The weather was great, a little chilly on Saturday, but the sun was out. Saturday night, after a delicious pot roast dinner, we saw some awesome music, Memphis Gold (rock/blues) in Cabanas, Houston Pearson (jazz sax) in Alethias, and Inca (Santana cover band) in Carney’s Other Room. Sunday we walked, we biked for over 10 miles, and we sat on the beach at Higbee Beach.

From a Mediation standpoint, the weekend was challenging. There is an ongoing issue that we are learning to deal with in our forums at Sacred Mists, that mostly involves the individual perceptions of different online personas, and the effects of assuming that the online personal is also the physical persona. The tangy side dish to this main course is the misinterpretation of the written word.

Such power the written word has! And in many ways, written words are like emotion magnets, and they attract different emotions from different people. The same sentence emailed or posted on a forum seems to attract whatever strong emotions the reader of the sentence is actively perpetuating; sometimes the words act as a catalyst to reignite emotions that are lingering in the aura, taking the reader by surprise so that they don’t realize until it is too late that these emotions do not apply to the situation. No matter how carefully we choose our words, there is always a potential for misinterpretation.

There are several persons at Sacred Mists who feel that the terms “My Love” and My Dear” and “Hon” are condescending when used toward people that only know each other through an Internet forum. I am coming to disagree; I think the more emoticon-type expressions we use in our written emails and posts, the easier it will be for the reader of our posts to ascertain what our state of mind is at the time of posting, rather than subconsciously imposing their own emotions onto those sterile words. The most difficult thing about these circumstances is that often “blame” cannot be established. The only thing that really seems to help dispel the emotions that become attached to words is further communication.

I think *crosses fingers* that things have calmed down for now. I am communicating up a storm.


Thursday, November 5, 2009

King of Pentacles reversed/Two of Swords reversed. Well, I may not be able to reach my highest ability to deal with the physical world today, but at least I am going with the flow and not shutting out any challenges or difficulties that may appear. One thing I **will** be good at is thinking out of the box.

My Thoth card is the Nine of Swords reversed. Agony of the mind in an upright position, but since it is reversed, I think I will have a good handle on any challenges that present themselves.

My Legacy card is the Seven of Wands. This card in this deck is a power card for me, and I have been told by Uriel that I am to become this card. It deals with the concept of drawing a line in the sand, taking a stand to protect personal convictions. Am I the guardian who is the gatekeeper to the portal, or am I the supplicant, trying to gain entry, to gain a right of passage?

My horoscope: “There will be intimacy in the air over the next few days. Loved ones suddenly want to spend more time with you, and you find yourself wanting to invite friends over every night of the week! By all means, do so. You will be recharged, and some of the wonderful discussions you'll have could really lead to something great! However, there may be a bit of tension in the air to temper all that closeness as not everyone will totally agree with your point of view on things.”

I have discovered that most sensations involving heavy-duty energy work elicit a response in me that is very similar to sexual arousal. I’m talking about really intense or long term workings, or very potent energy exchanges. And when I say “sexual arousal,” I don’t mean panting desperately, but rather that lovely warm pressure that is like a delicious itch that I might want to scratch. Oy, I am not explaining this right. But connecting with my energy field is very pleasant, and the more I work with my energy and the energy of others, the more I like the way the connections feel.

I have done some of the strongest energy workings of my own experience over the past few days, helping my friend as she took part in some pretty potent rituals. My confidence in my own abilities and my endurance is soaring! My friend was many miles away yet I was able to construct, with the help of my spirit guide, Ailm, a tether. I took notes regarding my sensations during the two days that my friend was taking part in these workings; I am interested to see how accurate my notes are and whether they correspond to the actual events.

No matter what, my “energy moving” muscles have become quite strong. And collecting and moving all that energy feels goooooood!

It has been a busy, exciting, rewarding, and yes distressing week. There have been exciting changes in the works in the Divination Department, some of which have manifested this week. More ways for me to immerse myself in everything Tarot; that is a good thing! I was happy with the Chat I put together, which explained the difference between the Five of Swords and the Seven of Swords; that was fun! I have been trying to help solve a painful situation, and I am frustrated. The written word is sooooo easy to misinterpret, and even though we all try our best to word things so that our thoughts are clearly described, things don’t end up that way. I will be wiping away the hurt and trying again; hopefully my efforts will bring healing rather than pain, for that is my intent.

Jazz Festival in Cape May this weekend; I look forward to spending time with our friends.


Monday, November 2, 2009

Ace of Pentacles reversed/Four of Cups. Today will not be a day filled with skillful initiation of projects in the physical world. Perhaps I have become complacent or dare I say it, lazy. I can’t allow myself to become numb to the many gifts that I have in my life. Just because the day is not one filled with energy and accomplishments does not mean that I can shut off my mind and make my way through my day on autopilot.

My Thoth card is the Seven of Disks reversed. Crowley calls this card “Failure,” and he sees its energies in a more negative way than most. Rather than the pause and assessment of many decks, this card in this deck tells of passivity and stagnation, Crowley’s banes apparently. The productivity of the suit of Disks has become lost in this pause, and sloth’s heaviness rules the day.

My Legacy card is Temperance. This card tells of the maintenance of balance and equilibrium through the moderation of opposing forces. It tells of the presence of alchemy and all of its potentials, and it tells of a harmony between spiritual and physical existence. This card also tells me that I am becoming stronger because I am exposing myself to extremes.

My horoscope: “Today, dear Sagittarius, you might attend a group event of some kind, and while there you could encounter an old friend who suddenly seems to have changed. As a result, you might find this person very attractive and, and you may direct a rush of physical passion their way. This might be disconcerting, but don't brush it off because you've always thought of this person as a friend. Statistics show that the most successful marriages are those that started out as friendships.”

We had a wonderful weekend that combined fun with work. LOL, we ate way too much good food, and except for Thursday night when we walked for five hours, we spent most of our time sitting around the kitchen table, talking into the wee hours of the morning.

Thursday night we went to Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party at the Magic Kingdom. Lil and Keith's accommodations were in the Park itself, so we got around by bus, water taxi, ferry and monorail, which is cool. We took a bus to the Magic Kingdom for the Halloween party on Thursday, and walked around the Magic Kingdom until midnight (they kept the park open extra late). We went on rides, saw the awesome firework display, and had a great time.

Friday night was our fancy dinner, at a restaurant called Artists Point, which is in another of the Park accommodations, called Frontier Lodge. We took a ferry across Lake Buena Vista to get to the Frontier Lodge. LOL, we did not think we would be at the Sacred Mists ritual that afternoon, because both Lilyth and Brianna are employed by Sacred Mists, and they were working on Thursday and Friday, but at 2:57, Lady IM'd Lilyth and asked us to all come to the ritual. That is why we popped into the ritual at the last moment.

Saturday afternoon, we did our own ritual in honor of the Sabbat. Saturday night was a big surprise to us. Lil and Keith are good at keeping a secret, and we did not know that we were going to see the Cirque do Soleil show until we were standing outside of the venue. This is the second of their shows that I have seen in person, and oh boy are they awe-inspiring. The human body, in its most perfect form; every one of the performers is incredibly talented.

I think the transformation that happened for me this weekend was that in a sense I became a Student Council Member. I became a leader. I was interacting with those who I hold in high regard; Lilyth has been with Sacred Mists since before I became a member, and she has been an informal mentor for me the whole time. I feel that I officially "came out" to my fellow Student Council Members as a Mediator, a healer of sorts, and I voiced for the first time, using my actual voice, my vision of what my place at Sacred Mists will be, in both the short term and the long term. And my vision was accepted as right for me, by my peers. That is the icing on the cake.

I know that in doing this, in acknowledging my place, I am upping the level of what will be expected of me. But I am fine with this added expectation. I am embracing this added expectation. I am ready to **be** the person I am becoming, and I am proud of what I have accomplished.

Now, it is time to once again become a little fish in a big pond.