Sunday, January 31, 2010

Five of Cups/Seven of Pentacles reversed. I am being warned today that change may be coming, and as always, I may end up grieving for that which was lost. However, I need to remember that change is stability and motion is life; it would be better if I look for the good to be found in any situation instead of assessing what has happened already.

My Thoth card is the Three of Cups reversed. What, no Court Card? LOL! Uncle Al must be in a good mood today, and yes, this Three of Cups reversed would be a kindness from the man who sees most of the Tarot cards as warnings of approaching discomfort. **wink**

My Legacy Card is the Knight of Swords reversed. There’s that Court Card I was expecting. Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes) of Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts), and in an upright position each element supports the other. The Knight of Swords is filled with the need to act, and he may not take into consideration the feelings of others as he makes his plans to attack an issue. Because he is reversed, he is warning me that any emotions that I attempt to infuse in a situation today may not have the positive effects that I intended. But hey, this advice is coming from a man who is down on all emotion, so I need to be realistic as well, as I determine the situation.

What a beautiful day!! I did an hour’s worth of yoga and belly dance stretch, and then sat before my French doors and looked at the snow, glistening like diamonds in the sun, as I balanced my chakras and applied Reiki in what I am now calling the Cernunnos Method. My entire body was filled with light as my balanced chakras were infused with Reiki! We will most likely be on our way home before sundown, so I will miss sundown over the Atlantic, but we will certainly still be on the road when the moon rises up. I did not see the moon last night because of the snow, but this evening, the sky is crystal clear, and she will light up the night.

It is almost Imbolc already!! Holy crow! I feel like I need to prepare for this Sabbat because its energies are very much sympathetic to my own. The Goddess is indeed reawakening within me!!! I will not be able to attend the Sacred Mists Sabbat Ritual because I have dance classes on Tuesday evening, so I will be doing my own tomorrow night.

Way back in my First Degree Training, I defined Imbolc as: The word “Imbolc” means “in milk.” Imbolc is a cross-quarter between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox. Imbolc is a time when Nature is awakening after her winter slumber, and the world all around us is filled with the potential of the future. Animals are giving birth (hence, “in milk”), the first plant growth is seen. This is a time of feminine mystery; a time of new beginnings and growth. Imbolc is also used as a kind of sympathetic magic, to lure back the sun and hasten the warming of the earth, and is known in some customs as Candlemas. It is also a time of purification; it is this time of the year that is the origin of our “spring cleaning.”

I remember doing my first self-dedication on Imbolc, 2003, just about seven years ago. Since then, I have learned that the cross-quarter Sabbats are called “greater Sabbats” because they are at the peak of the energy of the season. We may not feel like we should be looking towards Spring (especially here in Cape May, where we got a foot of snow last night!), but because we are at the peak of Winter energies, that means that once Imbolc has passed, Winter energies will be ebbing away.

This means that the time is almost upon me when I should begin moving away from my Winter mindset, and begin to reconnect with the world in a new way, using my more learned senses.

I am ready. The Maiden awakens; come join the circle and share in the Light!!


Saturday, January 30, 2010

Three of Swords/The Fool reversed. Uh oh. I am being told that I might be dealing with some unexpected difficulties today. Knowing that unpleasantness is possible will enable me to lessen its effects, or at the very least, to be ready for it. Perhaps today is not a day for me to go skipping off down the road without making sure that there are no cars coming. But I should not allow fear to chase me back inside; I just need to be a bit more careful than usual.

My Thoth card is the Prince of Swords. LOL, lots of Swords cards lately. This Prince has lots of wonderful ideas, but they all bounce around his mind like bumper cards because he is pure intellect, with no emotions or creativity or grounding around to direct those ideas.

My Legacy card is . . . brace yourself . . . The Queen of Swords. Yesterday, my Thoth card was this very Queen and today she shows up from my Legacy deck. She is Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts) of Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts), and tells me that no matter what, I need to be honest with myself today (and that includes being aware of my emotions), and ethical in my dealings with others. I use this card in my Shadow Work to represent the Dark Goddess, so perhaps She is nudging me a bit, just so I don’t forget she is there.

We had a great dinner last night; I ate wayyy too much, but we had a great evening. Then, we got up and headed down to Cape May, making it just as the snow began. It is 6:30 pm, the storm is starting to wind down, and we have over 8 inches of beautiful snow out there!

On the way down, I had a lovely meditation with Danu; it has been a while since She and I chatted like this because of all the work I was doing with Cernunnos.

I had a question for Her: I asked Her why it was so hard to accurately describe the truly wonderful realizations and aha! moments that have been coming to me. I really try hard to describe them to others because I want to share them. Danu laughed joyously, and then reminded me of my Purpose. I am to bring Balance, and even be a catalyst to encourage others to strive for balance, but I cannot do the striving for them. She told me that each person needs to do the work necessary in order to achieve true understanding of Deity and of their world. It is that striving to reach them that is part of the power of those aha! moments, and if I was able to truly describe them, I would cheat others out of their own moments. That makes a lot of sense to me, and I already understand in detail the Purpose given to me by Cernunnos; I guess this is one of those things that I just need to accept.

Danu then told me that She is very pleased with the level of both my connection to Her and my understanding of who and what She is. She wants me to begin working towards moving to the next level of understanding, and She said that I need to be prepared, for things will not always go easily. Danu explained that I will experience failures, and discomfort, and even pain, but She reminded me that it is through adversity that we become strong, and She needs me to become strong. She said that this should not be a solitary pursuit; I am being told to communicate with others, even with those who are not easy or pleasant to talk to, and I am to remember that She is always with me.


Friday, January 29, 2010

Three of Wands/Knight of Pentacles. Three of Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes) and Fire of Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes), are telling me today that my will is supporting my senses. Today I will find myself anticipating, and the cool thing is that this anticipation will be infused with the belief that I am where I am today because of my hard work meeting my own responsibilities, and the hard work of others, too.

My Thoth card is the Queen of Swords. Confident actions, intensely individual, and graceful and just spirit; these are the ways that I will be interfacing with the world today. Water of Air, and this means that while I do have lots of Water in my cards today, I at least have a touch of the other three elements.

My Legacy card is The Hanging Man. LOL, the element of Water, the planet of Neptune (inspiration, magick and altered states), and the Hebrew letter Mem, which also means water. Is there a message for me from this card? LOL! Marchetti sees this card as a sort of pause caused by the temporary balance between extremes; I love his description of an hourglass balanced on its side, with equal amounts of sand in each segment of the glass.

My horoscope: “Because of your well-mannered attitude and socially minded outlook, Sagittarius, you may normally be reluctant to make a stand with an outlandish idea or draw attention with an unusual outfit or hairstyle. Today is a day to be an individual in all aspects of the word. Prove that you are by doing something unexpected that shakes up the crowd. Make yourself stand out above the rest in whatever way feels most comfortable to you.”

LOL, this is indeed me today!! I have been following a discussion on a public Pagan forum about Sacred Sex. As usual within public forums, there is one poster who insists on arrogantly presenting his own opinions as the only right and correct ones to have. Normally I stay away from those types of people, but this subject matter is dear to my heart, and I get frustrated when someone’s arrogance shuts down a good discussion. I have responded twice already specifically to this person; not my usual M.O.

I gave Sharon, my dance partner, a full body Reiki treatment last night. That was interesting! Sharon is a construction worker, one of the first women in New Jersey to do HVAC work. She has always worked in the field, and she has an incredibly strong body. Sharon is married with three children; she has an incredibly strong energy field, and while she is not good at refining her energy output, she is real good at directing it. She did extensive cleanup work after 9/11 in New York, and as a result she is being treated for damaged kidneys and a damaged heart. Her life is very stressful right now because her husband is not working; thus on top of everything else, she is the sole breadwinner of the house.

Giving Reiki to Sharon is not for the weak-hearted, but I really did help her. After completing the Reiki treatment, we did some Tarot readings, and by the time I headed home, Sharon reported a noticeable change for the better in her body and her energy field.

Lots of Reiki in my days of late.


Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Sun/Four of Cups. The Sun card corresponds with our sun, and with the deepest self, inner core, and influential powers. The Four of Cups corresponds with The Moon (feelings and the subconscious) in Cancer (I feel), and offers the stability of emotions that has a great potential to turn to stagnation. Both cards offer a pause, and both cards remind me that while it is certainly healthy to bask in the glory of my recent efforts, I need to remember that even maintaining my current level of evolution takes conscious effort rather than just coasting along on the currents.

My Thoth card is the Five of Disks reversed; again. Thankfully, reversed again, which tells me that I am making good progress in preventing myself from brooding about any challenges or issues. This card has been showing up for me, though, which means that I do need to be careful that its energies do not weigh me down.

My Legacy card is the Nine of Cups. Jupiter (growth, expansion, justice, fortune) in Pisces (I believe), and this card tells me that at least for today, I will be filled with peace, I will both give and receive love, and I will feel valuable and validated. Oh-kay!!

My horoscope: “Love blossoms today as communication with your beloved is enhanced by an increased understanding on both your parts, Sagittarius. You feel more at ease in each other's presence, and you project a united front in the company of others. At some point, both of you will probably go out with a group of friends. Expect some exciting and fascinating discussions with the others, which you'll probably continue once you're alone together. Have fun!” **smile** Looks very accurate to me!

I can’t believe it is Thursday already; what a busy week it has been. Sunday was a busy day! I attended the Sacred Mists Reiki Share in the morning, and did my final Reiki treatment for my Reiki III Assessment in the afternoon. At the end of the Sacred Mists Reiki Share, I received a lovely gift from my Reiki Guide: instructions for a Reiki Circle for use by the Pagan Brain Trust! We were working on offering Lorraine protection during a difficult time, and we will be able to use what I was given for that, and for any other workings we decide to do together. I emailed a description of my vision (which took place on the beach in Cape May) to the PBT members, and after they all approved the working, I posted the instructions on the BPT site.

I had a great drive home Sunday night; Uriel visited me. He came to me in a dark place; I could barely see the white of His wings. Then He opened His eyes. They were like golden lighthouses, with golden beams piercing the dark! He closed His eyes again, and it was pitch black; He opened them, and it was like two golden flashlights were being shined at me. I do not yet know what this means, but if this visit is anything like Uriel’s other visits, He will keep reminding me that there is something I need to understand. He has been appearing every now and then for a moment, in the same way; first I become aware of His presence, then I hear His wings rustle and see hints of the white feathers in the dark. Then He slowly opens His eyes and golden beams shoot out into the dark; He turns to look at me and then slowly closes His eyes. Because my eyes had adjusted due to the light of His eyes, I am plunged momentarily into darkness, but as my eyes adjust to the dark, I can once again see hints of Uriel’s wings.

We had some Student Council changes this entire week; three Members have advised that they need to step down from the Council, and two of those are leaving the College entirely, at least temporarily, to pursue Solitary Paths. The Council has already been instituting many changes, streamlining some procedures and adding layers to others, and defining responsibilities, among others. The changes have the potential to be unsettling, but I believe that they will also encourage each member to engage with more awareness.

Last night, Brian and I watched “What the Bleep Do We Know?”; he had never seen the movie. We had a discussion afterwards; LOL, Brian is certainly fulfilling the words of my Ancestress, who told me that I have a legacy of power within me, and that Brian is more powerful that I am.

I submitted my Reiki III Assessment yesterday (the Client Treatment Forms from 10 Reiki Treatments)!!!! Yay!! Cross that off my “to do list.” And Mystery received her Reiki I and Reiki II attunements last night. I gave her Reiki before going to bed, and she performed cleansing and preparation of space as well. I can definitely feel a difference in her energy this morning, right from when I woke up, but even more so as I sent energy to her this morning. My own top three chakras were very much open as well, which is unusual for me early in the morning, as I am not a morning person. I look forward to hearing about her experiences with her attunements.

Lisa encouraged me to reserve a table at the Hudson Valley Social Pariah Festival at the end of February, but I know that I will never have enough product ready by then. However, I am going to use this as a “wake-up jolt” in order to take part in the Central Jersey Pagan Pride Festival in August. I am affirming my intention by typing it here, and this gives me plenty of time to get some saleable items created. One of Brian’s friends from the Dominican Republic has asked that I make him a pendant, and I have one other wrapping job to do for myself (my Sacred Masculine Wand), but once those are accomplished, I will be good to go. And Lisa, I will be keeping in mind that the Social Pariah Festival is in February, and next year we will both be there.

We are going out to dinner tomorrow night, and will not get to Cape May until Saturday. I think it will be just Bob and I this weekend, and I plan on getting more things crossed off my to-do list.


Saturday, January 23, 2010

The Chariot/Strength reversed. Both of these Majors in the Welsh Tarot show a man riding a white horse through water; the man on the Chariot looks very kingly, while the man on the Strength card looks skilled. The Chariot represents Cancer (I think), Cheth (enclosure) and Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts), and Strength, the next card numerically in the Majors, represents Leo ((I am), Teth (basket or sieve), and Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes). The Chariot, the more outwardly visible of the two cards, is actually feminine in gender, while Strength is masculine. The Chariot is about being able to control the emotions with the mind; these emotions are not suppressed, but rather trained. Strength is the next logical step: it tells of rising about those emotions through being courageous, and through applying patience and gentle perseverance. Since the Strength card is reversed today, even though both of these Majors have been showing up lately, I am not yet ready to take that next step shown by Strength. I still need to work on “training” my emotions.

My Thoth card is the Seven of Disks. Funny, I drew this card, if I remember correctly, a week ago exactly. Crowley,s “Failure” does not specifically foretell failure; instead it warns that responsibility can be taken to the point of becoming a restriction, and it appears that I need to remember this today. Sheesh, and I have lots of things on my to do list.

My Legacy card is the Two of Coins reversed. Jupiter (expansiveness, justice, fortune) in Capricorn (I build), reversed. Okay, I get it!! I may not be very effective at juggling a lot of tasks today. I promise . . . I will take some “me” time!!

Veeeery interesting messages today!! Since yesterday’s cards were sooo accurate (not only did I have unexpected company this weekend, which is very cool, but the Student Council meeting was cancelled at the last minute; how is that for accuracy??!!), I am certainly going to be paying attention to today’s cards.

Helen and I had an awesomely productive afternoon, but LOL, I think I will be a tiny bit sore tomorrow morning. I did a one-hour belly dance stretch class with her; no choreography, just intense belly dance stretches and foundation movements. Then Helen did a yoga class for me. We are both very excited because these two disciplines really work well together, and I don’t know of anyone else who combines the two, without actual dance classes. We may have something here!! Helen left me with a series of yoga poses to practice, and she is going to work on some of the belly dance moves, and then we will do this again in two weeks.

I am excited!! This my be exactly what I was looking for!!

Now, it’s time for some of that “me time” I promised myself.


Friday, January 22, 2010

High Priestess/Strength. The Moon (feelings and emotions), Gimel (the camel that can cross the Abyss) and Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts) ~and~ Leo (I am, passion and drama), Teth (sieve, digestion), and Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes). Although these cards appear to support each other on the surface because they both have an inner focus and advise me to make use of patience, the conflict is there, but hidden. The High Priestess is **not** about conscious control or manifestation in my world, she is about the subconscious and the “other” realms. Can I mesh the two energies, or will one overpower the other?

My Thoth card for today is the Four of Swords. Crowley’s “Truce” card tells of the moment of pause that happens when equal yet opposing forces confer. This could very well be referring to the conflict of interests that is hinted at in the two Welsh cards above.

My Legacy card is the Six of Swords reversed. Mercury (intellect, learning and skill) in Aquarius (I know), a turning point for the better, and feeling in control of one’s destiny, in an upright position. The card is reversed, so I need to be alert because my plans may change and those changes could happen due to events beyond my control.

Wooohooo, what a card throw!! Even Uncle Al was kind to me today; it is going to be a veeery interesting day. I will be careful to remain alert, and I won’t set any plans in stone so that if things change unexpectedly, the whole day won’t end up in the trash can.

My horoscope: “It's very difficult for you to reconcile your desire for creativity and originality in your life to the constraints that society puts on you to be an efficient, productive person, Sagittarius. This is one of the great dilemmas facing a lot of people these days. It's as if you have to hide your real personality in order to live up to what other people expect of you. Some advice for today: don't be so hard on yourself. You're only human.”

Busy weekend ahead of me; Student Council Meeting tonight, lots of work on Second Degree Lessons tomorrow, and Reiki Share on Sunday. I am revved up and ready to get stuff done!!

Update, later the same day: Isn’t it truly awesome when the cards really do tell what is going to happen? I am leaving shortly for Cape May. I thought I was going to be alone for the entire weekend, but I received a phone call this afternoon from Bob, who called to tell me that Sean and some of his friends are going to be down for the weekend. LOL, this is no trouble at all, but I will have to re-arrange a few things because I thought I was going to be alone.

I am listening to the advice of the cards, and I am seeing this as a positive change for the weekend; I am going with the flow, with a smile on my face. **smile** I will have fun company for the weekend, and the bonus is they all love to cook!


Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Chariot reversed/Queen of Cups reversed. Cancer (I feel), Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts) and Cheth (enclosure) for The Chariot upright, and Water of Water (reflective force, where emotions strengthen emotions) and the cusp of Gemini (I think) and Cancer (I feel) for the Queen of Cups upright. In an upright position, these cards would be telling me that not only am I connecting with my emotions and feelings, but I will have an easy time controlling and directing them. But both cards are reversed, so connecting to, controlling and directing my emotions and my feelings may be a bit of a challenge today. While I may appear tranquil to others, inwardly things may be chaos; I may find that I am feeling affected by the ebbs and flows around me, even if I am able to keep these effects hidden.

My Thoth card is the Queen of Swords. Grace, receptiveness and confidence personified today. Okay, I can do that.

My Legacy card is the Seven of Swords reversed. The Moon in Aquarius, in an upright position this card tells of a tendency to cling beyond useful life span, using all methods, both fair and foul. Because the card is reversed, I will be aware of this tendency when it presents itself to me today, and most likely I will be able to prevent the unethical side from manifesting.

My cards today are interesting. I have two Water cards reversed, and two Swords cards, with the more positive of the two upright and the one with a potential of unhappy manifestations in a reversed position. Should be an interesting day!

Yesterday was my last day of official Reiki application, both my own 40 days and Cernunnos’s 10 extra days. Lots of things happened during this 50 day period, from debilitating sickness to spiritual growth to the beginnings of visible manifestations in the physical world that could be very exciting.

In my physical world, I am still in “clean up and organize mode.” During each of the last 50 days I have chipped away at the tasks that have piled up; sometimes only little chips but still, movement is happening in the right direction. My house is relatively straightened now, and the next two projects are (1) going through my trunk and getting rid of “stuff” and (2) getting the spare room in order. That second project is difficult because we are temporarily storing Cape May stuff there in anticipation of beginning our new project, but I do need to organize to some extent in order to make use of the room.

I am making lots of progress within my Second Degree Lesson Project, and hopefully by the end of the weekend, every lesson that I have will be in final form. **crosses fingers** I sent out an “okay, the holidays are over; get back to work” email to all active SMPDA Members, and I will be posting the article I wrote for the Sabbatical (which is in pause mode right now) on the SMPDA in the Witches Gather, hopefully to stir up some new interest in the SMPDA. I have three suggestions for possible new members that I need to investigate.

Our Tarot Apprentice is doing her first Tarot Chat tonight. She has completed her last Tarot Class Lesson, and is past the 6-month minimum membership requirement in order to apply to Leadership, and then to become a full-fledged Facilitator. The Divination Apprentice Program at work!! Part of me does not want to step back from the Tarot Class, but there are so many things that are pulling me forward and I need to let go of the things that have already served me well, in order to move forward. Plus, I don’t want to be greedy; there are other students who will benefit from Facilitating the Tarot Class, just as I benefited, and they also deserve a chance to do this.

I have three new belly dance students, I have been working with Reiki both with the Pagan Brain Trust and with Helen in Cape May, and both of those interactions have the potential to bring some employment/pay check opportunities at some time in the future.

Ain't progress grand!!!


Monday, January 18, 2010

The Lovers/Page of Wands. Gemini (I think) and Zain (sword), and Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes) of Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes), which is an explosive force, with the senses supporting the Will. Sheesh, strong day!! I am being told that what I want is important today, and if I see the potential around me through my own needs, I may very well end up showing others how to empower themselves.

My Thoth card is The Hanged Man reversed. As usual, Crowley sees more of the negative potential presented by this card than the positive. In an upright position, he sees this card as telling of a sense of fatalism as the seeker waits for something to happen. The seeker is not optimistic, and fears experiencing loss rather than gain. Because the card is reversed, my attitude about any suspension of activity is that I should use the pause to experience fulfillment and success.

My Legacy card is Strength. Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes) and the astrological sign of Leo (I am) are the correspondences of this card. I am being reminded that Will comes from within, and just knowing that fact can be seen as offering personal power, or personal burdens. I should choose to see this knowledge as offering empowerment, and I should by example share this gift with others.

I feel great! I had a very productive weekend, and still found time to get together with family. I did not cross everything off of my To Do list, not by any means, but because I worked on clearing my mind and my body of any blockages, I feel very happy with the progress I made.

This morning, as I did my Reiki application, Cernunnos came to me. He reminded me that tomorrow was the last day of the 10 days of Reiki application that I had dedicated to him, and He told me that I should begin thinking about the next step (think about it, not take it!), which according to Cernunnos is the creation of the different cleansings that will need to be done in association with the proposed ritual Mystery and I are working on. Cernunnos reminded me that this would not just be a physical cleansing, and He suggested that we needed to cleanse the emotions, the mind and the spirit, both in the past and the present, and we need to cleanse any intentions that do not belong in the working at all as well as designate what He called “supporting roles” to those intentions that are a part of how we got to where we are and thus need to be acknowledged as such, but are not to affect the working directly. He told me that even if we never end up actually performing this working, putting in place these cleansings will benefit us both.

**smile** No mention of my efforts over the weekend, but somehow I get the feeling that if I had not lived up to His expectations, I would be hearing about it in detail. So no news is good news!


Sunday, January 17, 2010

Four of Cups/Seven of Wands. While yesterday seemed to be a day of achieving balance through expansion, today my Welsh Tarot is telling me that I need to remember to balance that expansion with a little bit of a retreat. The energies of the number 4 are very balanced and thus, very sturdy. The problem with sturdy predictability is that it often leads to a disconnect. When you know what is coming, you don’t pay too much attention to it. The Seven of Wands is also telling if a pause, a pause to regroup and to protect the ideas that have come to be important to me. The two numbers, 4 and 7, both tell of a pause in upward or forward motion; they can both be seen in another way: as a preparation for a change. The number 5 is about the motion that upsets stability before it can become stagnation, and the number 8 is about the reaction (or attempt to repair) the pause that is turning into degeneration. If I want to hang onto the “high” of yesterday, I need to consciously remember the details so that I can make them my own, and call them into play again in the future.

My Thoth card is the Seven of Swords reversed. “Futility” reversed, and another Seven card today, but in an upright position this Seven is much weaker than the Seven of Wands. The Wands Seven tells of making a stand in order to protect what is justly yours, while this Seven in an upright position tells of clinging to an idea whose time has passed, clinging at any expense in order to prevent change, without caring about consequences. Because the card is reversed, it validates the energies of the Seven of Wands: defending my beliefs, whatever they are, is not “Futile” today.

My Legacy card is The High Priestess. This card relates to the element of Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts), the Moon (feelings and emotion, illusion, imagination), and the Hebrew letter Gimel, the camel who alone knows how to cross the Abyss. I laughed out loud with this one, for the message is clear. I am being reminded that no matter how much I focus on connecting with my physical self and my physical world (and these are worthy endeavors), I am not to forget that everything I believe and that I know, and indeed, everything that I am comes from a place that cannot be understood, cannot be measured. I need to accept this with my heart as well as my head, for it is only by releasing the need to understand that true understanding will come to me at last.

What an awesome day I had yesterday. I was productive in may levels and in many realms of my life, I felt connected to every plane of existence, and I felt filled with light. I felt Balanced, and whole. For some reason I believe that yesterday was pivotal in some way, that I crossed an important threshold without evenrealizing it. Today I am striving to maintain that lovely light, and I am hoping to continue to be productive on all levels.

After my morning meditation/Reiki application on the tower roof, I came to my computer and opened my emails. I was give the gift of wisdom from My Mystery today (LOL, Cernunnos refers to Mystery as “Your Mystery,” and that is how I have come to think of her) that “your past doesn't come with you into the present unless you bring it with you.” Does she realize how powerful these seemingly off-the-cuff statements are? And how empowering this concept is, once you accept both that baggage is consciously and subconsciously carried, and that each of us is the only person who has the power to carry a bag forward or choose to place it down on the floor and leave it behind?

Food for thought . . . .


Saturday, January 16, 2010

Five of Swords reversed/Temperance. Imposing movement with ethics and balance! Yep, this is already happening for me today so these cards are a validation. The Five of Swords can be seen as a selfish card for it tells of the imposition of the motion of the number 5 through pure intellect (which can be selfish) and without regard to the effects and consequences of any actions taken. Temperance, which surprisingly corresponds with the element of Fire ( hot/separates and dry/shapes) is important to me because its astrological correspondence is Sagittarius (“I seek”), my sign; Temperance is Samekh, the tent post, and represents the appearance of stillness which is attained through the ability to balance all opposing forces. Cool!!

My Thoth card for today is the Seven of Disks. “Failure”? Well, not quite. This card warns that responsibility can be taken to the point of becoming a restriction, and it appears that I need to remember this today.

My Legacy card for today is The Wheel reversed. Khaf, the palm, and Jupiter, expansiveness, justice and fortune, as well as the cycles of life that present themselves to us are what this card is about. Because it is reversed, it is reminding me that there is much to be learned when events don’t seem to be going my way. The lessons presented by failures tend to be easier than those presented by successes.

**smile** Just when I think Cernunnos has given me back to Danu, He comes back. This has been an incredible day, right from the first moment, because I seem to be able to not only get things done, but at the same time I have not lost my connection to my inner self and Inner Voice because I am focusing on completing tasks in the physical realm. Each time I finish another task and cross it off my list today, I instantly know what to do next. Because I am alternating between household chores and Sacred Mists duties, I am really feeling as if I will be very satisfied with myself by the end of the day.

So, I digress. LOL, which is not unusual for Raushanna. I put some nice music on, and began my usual chakra cleansing/shield empowering morning ritual. Once my chakras were open and balanced, my shield was recharged, the “trash” had been sent down the taproot into the Earth Mother’s compost pile, I folded my hands in my lap and began the final step of my morning ritual: consecration. As I allowed the Divine energy to flow downward through my chakras in order to perform a final cleansing before closing up, I suddenly found myself at Shadow Castle, looking down at the Black Sea glistening in the morning light, from the top of the tower. I took several deep breaths, and then suddenly felt the Reiki turn on. I wondered what was going on, but I did not have long to wait.

I heard Cernunnos’s voice in the back of my head, telling me that I was ready for the change He needs me to make in my morning ritual. He said that from now on I need to bring myself here for my morning ritual. He said that Shadow Castle is going to become more important, and I need to find time to go in and take the sheets off of the furniture and get rid of the worst of the cobwebs, real soon. But for now, we would work on top of the tower. Cernunnos showed me that my hands were folded over my solar plexus chakra, and reminded me that this chakra is the seat of the Sacred Masculine within my energy field. Once I reach the final day of the 10 days of Reiki application that have been done at His request, Cernunnos told me that I will then apply Reiki to the solar plexus chakra first and then allow the Reiki to “spill down into the other two chakras” (His words). That will be the first step. Second (once all three lower chakras are filled with Reiki and I have connected with the energies of the Sacred Masculine), I am to cycle up to the brow chakra, which is the seat of the Sacred Feminine within me. Because the energies of the Sacred Feminine are about “being” rather than “doing,” these energies will not “spill down” but will “emit in all directions.” I am to apply Reiki until the top three chakras are filled and I have connected with the Sacred Feminine. Finally, once the equal but opposite energies of the Sacred Masculine have combined with Reiki and filled my lower three chakras, and the energies of the Sacred Feminine have combined with Reiki and filled my upper three chakras, I am to cycle down to the heart chakra, which is the bridge between the inner and outer worlds. I am to apply Reiki to that chakra until it is filled, and then allow the heart chakra to connect the lower three to the upper three. Only then will I have achieved a manifestation of what I am told is my purpose: Balance.

I performed this new process today so that I could understand and remember it. Wow!! I am clear and energized; I feel similar to the way I felt after Helen’s Thai massage treatment. Cernunnos reminded me that once the Reiki turned off and I had released each of my chakras, I should finish with the Three Breath Meditation. This meditation is supposed to happen at Shadow Castle; I am to be inhaling and exhaling at that location. And that is how I finished my meditation today.

I smiled to myself before I left Shadow Castle, and realized that I needed to share this with Mystery, who must be sleeping in this morning after her night out dancing. I bet my fellow PBT members will enjoy this one, too!


Friday, January 15, 2010

The Fool/Knight of Wands reversed. The Fool can be seen as an optimistic rebel who has found a way to transcend earthly bonds, except he is flying without a parachute. Of course, he believes that he won’t crash! The Fool corresponds to the element of Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts) and the planet Uranus, which is about technology, science, change and the unexpected. The Knight of Wands is Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes) of Fire, and represents the cusp between Scorpio (“I desire”) and Sagittarius (“I seek”), which I should know well **wink**. The element within this Knight supports itself, and thus is considered a dynamic force, whether upright or reversed. I am being told that today is a day of optimism and new beginnings, and I may see the world and the events that present themselves to me as having good and positive effects. Both The Fool and the upright Knight of Wands are entities of action and optimism; because the Knight is reversed, I may find that some creativity and some enthusiasm for my day may be blocked, which might not be a bad thing in the long run.

My Thoth card is Adjustment (the number 8 card, which corresponds with Judgement, the number 11 card of most decks). To Uncle Al, this Major Arcana card tells of a suspension of action in order to make a decision. It also tells of the potential for the day to bring connections based on cooperation. This card corresponds with Libra (“we are”) and the element of Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts).

My Legacy card is the Six of Wands reversed. This Six in an upright position (Leo (“I am”) and Jupiter (expansiveness, luck and growth)) is about victory after difficult battles. It seems that no matter how optimistic I am and no matter how conscious I am about adjusting force with discernment, I will not be able to finish the battle to my own satisfaction just yet. But tomorrow is another day, and the fact that this card is here for me today, even though it is reversed, tells me that victory is near. I just need to clear away the blocks that are preventing me from attaining it. LOL, The Fool’s attitude!!

Day 46 of my Reiki project. Today is the first day that I am really feeling a sense of pleasure at my accomplishment here. The cool thing is that part of the effect of this continuous Reiki application is a strengthening and refining of my own connection to the Universal Life Force, and to my Guides. As I applied Reiki to my sacral chakra this morning, I was given a gift. My Lady Danu came to me, and opened my heart, and showed me that I need to understand that past actions were taken with good intent and taking into consideration the knowledge I had at that moment, and that it is wrong for me to judge the past through my present level of self-knowledge. Yes, I know; my brain already knows this, but often it takes a long time for the heart to allow a hole to be opened in its wall of protection. The work I have been doing with my Younger Self may have facilitated this bit of healing, along with the ongoing meditations and Shadow Work that Mystery and I are doing. That lovely feeling of release is the goal, and it is nice to finally attain it. I am hoping that this ability to prevent harsh self-judgment will help me to further know and understsand that in judging others I am isolating myself. It is the instinctive snap judgment that I am working to eradicate, for stopping the act of consciously judging others has been a part of my awareness since reading Stuart Wilde’s The Art of Redemption.

These cards really do describe how I feel today. I have been greatly empowered by my workings with Cernunnos and Mystery, my interactions with Helen (and the rest of her household), and my interactions with my peers. I am trying my best to comply with the urging of Cernunnos to get my physical world in order, and in doing so, I am feeling empowered by the meeting of my responsibilities. The efforts that Mystery and I are expending to examine every detail of every step of our proposed working is serving to not only validate the skills and abilities we have to date, but is also showing us what new information we need to attain and what new abilities we need to perfect. I find the combination of applying skills that I have already worked hard to successfully acquire, and seeking new experiences by applying those skills and learning about possible effects of their application, as heady indeed!! For the first time I feel like a qualified Witch who is in touch with her arsenal of tools, knowledge and wisdom (all well-earned), and while I understand that I have only scratched the surface of everything that I need and want to learn in this lifetime, I have made enough progress thus far to actively participate in attracting to me what I need and want, in the most ethical manner possible.

My much-loved Pagan Brain Trust is a manifestation of this heady combination as well. We each come from different experiences and we each are secure in our own paths, but we all come together in perfect love and perfect trust, to enjoy the ecstasy of union with like-minded fellow humans. And since we all feel very strongly that, because we are aware and because we each strive to attain and maintain the state of grace that is perfect love and perfect trust, we have an ethical responsibility to spread that awareness and that grace whenever possible (without manipulation), we just may be able to have a noticeable effect on our world.

We finished our evening with a Reiki share. I am amazed and excited by the way those final five minutes or so of sending Reiki around the circle of the five of us serves to lace us all together. I am reminded of a group of five separate trees whose roots grow together into one mass of connective tissue. I have learned through my work with bonsais that one individual tree cannot be removed from such an environment without causing damage to the rest of the trees. This connection has already happened to us, and I find that knowing I have that kind of foundation supporting me is validating and healing. My Mystery may be my manifestation of the solar plexus chakra, the element of Fire and the Will, but the Pagan Brain Trust belongs to my root chakra, and to the foundation of the four elements plus spirit, meditation, self empowerment and the concept of “as above, so below” that are all a part of that chakra to me.

Blessed be!!


Thursday, January 14, 2010

Queen of Cups reversed/Queen of Pentacles. Okay! How to be and how **not** to be in two easy Tarot cards. Water of Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts) reversed, and Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts) of Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes). Okay, let’s break this down further. We have three parts Water and one part Earth in these two cards, which are certainly a card pair, but which one? The first Queen is Water of Water, and in an upright position it tells that the emotions are supporting the emotions; this is known as a reflective force because the combination acts like a loop that continually supports itself. Water and Earth are passively friendly to each other (the wet/adapts and dry/shapes parts), and they both support stability (the cold/binds part), so these two elements in the Queen of Pentacles are considered a regenerative force because the emotions support the senses. Astrologically, the Cups Queen represents the cusp of Gemini (“I think”) and Cancer (“I feel”) (and The Lovers/The Chariot); the Pentacles Queen represents the cusp of Sagittarius (“I seek”) and Capricorn (“I build”) (Temperance/The Devil). We have a strong inner focus, reversed, and a calm grounding that can become addictive. I think this is actually a reinforcing pair! I am being told that I will find it easy to focus on the physical realm today as opposed to my inner voice, but I need to be aware that my inner voice is not being heard because without the balance of that inner voice, I may end up stagnating under the weight of my physical realm focus. Cool!!

My Thoth card is the Ten of Swords. “Ruin” today; ho boy! But there are good things to be found from destruction, as the people in Haiti are hopefully learning. Once the storm is over, we can choose to rebuild even better than before. So coming to the ultimate burnout of the control of the intellect leaves room for the other elements to blossom. Yep, can’t tell if the glass is half full or half empty cause the glass broke and the water spilled out; we can sit here and cry about it, or we can get a new and even better glass.

My Legacy card is the Nine of Coins. I like this card! Marchetti describes this card as “the card of accomplishments,” and says that this card represents the hard work that is behind the scenes (in other words, that only I know is happening) that brings me to gain and pleasure. The Astrological association is the Sun (the inner core of a person, the deepest and most influential power) in Virgo (“I serve,” practical, work oriented, analytical).

Very clear message from my cards today: get real! And: enjoy! Oh-kay! *snort* My interpretations are getting longer, but I am also adding really great texture to my card meanings. Uncle Al would be proud of me!!

I have been briefly checking in with my Younger Self every so often lately, and last night I spent some quality time with her. I told her that I was hers for the night and asked what she wanted to do. She did not want to sit down and read a book, she was excited to **do** something, and we ended up on the boardwalk, going on rides.

We went on the merry-go-round, chose two prancing horses side by side, and laughed with joy. My Younger Self even managed to grab the brass ring, even though I kept telling her she was going to fall. I have never seen her sooooo excited!

After the merry-go-round, we did all the other rides that I used to love in Fun Town; the boats, the cars, the helicopters, the tea cups. She did not want to go on the roller coaster, but I did talk her into going on the log flume. She loved it! And LOL, when we came to the final drop, where the water ends up splashing all over the place, at just the right moment she ducked, and I was drenched. Oh, did she laugh, and so did I because I really enjoyed how pleased she was with herself because she got me wet.

We stopped to buy some cotton candy, and shared it as we sat on a bench and watched the other kids on the rides. We finished our evening by taking the train ride, which circles all of Fun Town twice; as we rode past the roller coaster, a car passed us with a wooooosh and a rattle, and we laughed as we saw the faces of the people on the ride. Then she snuggled up next to me for the rest of the ride, and since I could tell that she was getting tired, we left.

I can still feel her, snuggling up next to me. There is nothing like the relaxation of a child who is tired because she had lots of fun.

Well, I am secure and well rested. Now, all I need to do is get a week or two off with pay so that I can take care of all the things that are calling to me. Like finish my Second Degree Lesson rewrite, decorate my Sacred Masculine wand, clean out my email inbox, get my BOS back in order, wrap some beach glass. LOL, you know . . . those really important things that don’t offer a paycheck, at least not one that is in dollars.

Back to work; maybe by the end of the day I will be able to cross one or two things off my list. And the Pagan Brain Trust meets tonight, so I even have a carrot at the end of the stick to aim for!!


Monday, January 11, 2010

The Chariot reversed/Nine of Pentacles reversed. Well, it seems that today is **not** going to be a day of conscious focus and discipline. The Chariot corresponds with the astrological sign Cancer (“I feel,” sensitive, tenacious, family oriented, moody), the element of Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts), and the Hebrew letter Cheth, fence. The Nine of Pentacles represents Venus (beauty, pleasure and relationships) in Virgo (“I serve,” practical, analytical, service oriented). I am being reminded that the mind shapes the heart, and that there are big connections between the mind and the emotions. I may not be seeing this today, and I should be.

My Thoth card is the Nine of Cups reversed. Another 9 reversed, Jupiter (expansiveness and growth, justice, fortune) in Pisces (“I believe,” duality, spirituality, soul growth, suffering); the sense of completeness is being blocked for some reason. Crowley sees the “Pleasure” card as a reminder that change represents stability. I am missing this concept today. Wake up!!

My Legacy card is The Hermit reversed. The Hermit corresponds with the element of Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes), the astrological sign of Virgo ("I serve," practical, analytical, work oriented, critical), and with the Hebrew letter Yod, the open hand (union and touch). The Hermit represents someone who is searching for answers, and has decided to withdraw and find the answers within; he knows that for true wisdom to emerge he needs to get rid of all distractions. The Legacy Hermit is serious, and he looks tired, as if he has not been sleeping well. He is alone in the woods, and this is no fun camping trip. The answers he seeks are in the shadows, and they will only reveal themselves when he is ready to hear them. The Hermit is also yearning for spiritual fulfillment, and he hopes to find that as well, within his solitude. This one is reversed too, so I am also missing his message. Oy!

Today is a “power day” for me, or better yet it is a day that may present important yet possibly subtle and difficult to notice messages. Any time I see “1111” in any form, I am usually about ready to receive some important download of information or some message, and many times they come from Uriel. I will be watching carefully because I don’t want to miss anything. And it seems that in some way every single card is today warning me that there is a good chance that I will miss my messages if I don’t wake up.

My weekend was incredible. Miss Pauline woke me up both nights, and the first night I turned to look at her (she always pulls at my covers from behind me, no matter which way I am facing), I think I saw her.

Sunday Afternoon, Helen and I got together. She reassured me regarding the conversations the night before, and told me that she was very much interested in working with me. We did an energy therapy share that was incredible!!!

First I gave her a full body Reiki treatment. Helen’s energy body is in incredibly good shape, but that is probably because she is in good physical shape, is active, practices yoga, and is very in tune with her personal energy field. I did receive a message for her early into the Reiki treatment, and she knew exactly what it referred to.

After her treatment, she returned the favor and gave me my first Thai massage. What an empowering experience! I am documenting my results here in part so that I have them, and in part so I can send them to Helen, for she is still gaining experience and is grateful for the feedback.

My Chi was flowing with amazing clarity. I felt several releases as Helen manipulated my body, and they were all painless and served to bring an increased sense of lightness. I woke this morning with tiny twinges of soreness (the good kinds of soreness, like the ones you feel the morning after taking a nice exercise class) in my weak areas (the ball of my left foot and my left shoulder and neck area), which tells me that it is good that I am getting back to my regular exercise program after being sick for the past weeks. I feel energized, which is surprising for a Monday morning. **wink**

I am on day 2 of my extra 10 days of Reiki application to my chakras, and I think this is adding not only to the receptiveness of my body to the benefits of Helens efforts, but also to my increase energy and mental clarity. Hopefully this will be a productive week for me.

**rubs hands together** Okay, time to start my day.


Sunday, January 10, 2010

Knight of Pentacles/Nine of Pentacles. Wow, looks like it is going to be a day of Earth effects. I may be noticing that I tend to bear the burdens of responsibility without the aid of the energy of ambition. I work hard, I keep my word, and I am responsible. Today I am being told that while I may miss instant gratification because I am not easily lured from my chosen path, in the end I will enjoy the fruits of my labors without any guilt, for I will know in my heart and my mind that my attainments happened because of this discipline.

My Thoth card is the Four of Wands reversed. “Completion” reversed has within its image both the symbol for Ares (“I want,” action-oriented and competitive) and the symbol for Venus (beauty, relationships, pleasure), and it tells of the building of a solid system of order, but in an upright position it also warns that this system is by its nature limiting. Because the card is reversed, I am being told that the system that draws me may not be as limiting as I think it is.

My Legacy card is the Ace of Wands reversed. Marchetti sees the Ace of Wands as a talisman of personal power. This Ace (and the entire suit of Wands) corresponds with the element of Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes), and rules the season of Summer and the three astrological signs within the time, Cancer (“I feel,” tenacious, nurturing and moody), Leo (“I am,” passionate, noble, egotistical) and Virgo (“I serve,” analytical, service-oriented, critical). The Ace of Wands is the initial spark that is the root of Fire, which can manifest into a power that will overcome inertia. Because the card is reversed, I may be dealing with a blockage of or difficulty connecting to my own personal power.

I had an interesting evening last night. We had dinner with our neighbors across the street, and the sister of one of the neighbors is a working energy therapist and Reiki practitioner and has been for many years. It just so happens that N (the energy therapist) comes from the Reiki lineage which believes that the Reiki symbols should be kept secret (their version of “sacred”), no one should receive an attunement unless they first receive formal instruction, and that distance attunements are not valid. To clarify, I believe that people without any knowledge of and experience working with the human energy field need formal instruction before their attunements, but through personal experience I have learned that many healers and energy therapists have already tapped into the Reiki energy slightly, and are better served by learning at the same time and after they receive their attunements; I believe that the Reiki symbols are sacred because they are **symbols** of sacred concepts and effects and while the symbols themselves need to be treated with reverence because they are powerful, they also need to be given to the person receiving a Reiki I attunement; and finally, I know from my own attunements that distance attunements are valid and powerful, and offer the same results as an in-person attunement. To add insult (completely inadvertent, but insult all the same) to injury, N had already offered my neighbor, Helen, a class and attunement, and I did not know this and attuned Helen last week.

The shame of this is that while both N and I could have shared information and thoughts and experiences as peers, N turned the evening into an “I’m-better-and-much-more-experienced-than-you” class, during which any time I was given the time to actually explain a concept as I saw it, my words chosen as metaphors to describe what I know and was taught were critiqued. Needles to say, while I thoroughly enjoyed the evening, I was disappointed and angered by the Reiki/spirituality/energy working discussion that went on periodically through the evening, particularly when I learned that N followed a more conservative tradition. I thought we would be able to share ideas and perhaps each learn from the viewpoint of another, but it did not turn out that way.

I tried to throw myself some cards after throwing my daily pull, but due to my empathic connection to the cards, every card I threw was reversed and told of what I felt was being blocked. So, I tried something different: I shuffled and then turned over cards until I got one upright. The upright card was the Three of Swords. LOL, yep. The next card was also upright and was a Major, Justice, and so I have decided to read those two cards in relation to my anger this morning, hoping for enough clarity to release the anger.

Three of Swords: There is not always a happy ending. Sometimes no matter how hard we try to compromise, we are doomed to failure. The Three of Swords represents Saturn (discipline, limitations, reserve) in Libra (“we are,” partnerships, cooperation and balance), and the number 3 tells of the creation from the duality of the 2 of the suit, and the suit of Swords is about the intellect and the power of the mind, so this card is focusing on the need to acknowledge, understand and express pain. The discovery of the reality of a painful truth can bring a sadness that is beyond words. But we do need to acknowledge the validity of this pain, we need to understand that no matter how much we want a happy solution, there may not be one, and we need to remember that hurt is evidence of being able to feel. Even though there may be no solution, understanding why we are hurting, thinking about the deepest and mist hidden wound that has been opened or reopened and bringing that would out into the air, may help us to release the hurt.

Justice is a dual card that tells of a balance between opposites: light and dark, yin and yang, open mindedness and reserved discipline. This card corresponds with the element of Air ( hot/separates and wet/adapts), the astrological sign of Libra (“we are,” partnerships, cooperation and balance), and the Hebrew letter Lamed, the ox whip (which is about both teaching and learning). Justice represents fairness and balance, and it reminds us that eventually we will receive exactly what we deserve. The image on the Legacy card shows two women each of whom represents opposing powers; they are facing away from each other yet they are sharing the burden of the scales. How appropriate. But I sense another message here, and I am drawn to throw one more card.

Nine of Swords. Okay. Now I understand. I am not the only one who was disturbed by the differences between N and I. I saw her strong criticism of my practice as a personal threat; she may very well see my more open attitude about Reiki as a threat to her livelihood and the perceived value of Reiki itself. The common denominator here is Helen, and I need to be very certain that I act with ethics here. I would never put N down in any way because I believe that for her, Reiki needs to be what she sees it as. I cannot force my way of perceiving Reiki on her; this holds true even if she has tried (by her sharp criticism) to force her perceptions on me, for I must believe that her intentions are good. She may be trying to “save” me.

It is what it is. I will find out later if Helen still wants to work with me, but whatever her choice, I believe that my perception of Reiki is valid for me. I have given other attunements to witches and energy workers that have been extremely beneficial to each of them. I do understand that not everyone will be comfortable with what I believe to be true about Reiki, but the fact that people disagree with me does not invalidate my beliefs.



Saturday, January 9, 2010

Judgement/Ace of Wands. Judgement corresponds with Fire and with Pluto (the planet of sex and death/birth and power and metamorphosis), and the Hebrew letter Shin (tooth or fang, the dynamic movement of the element of Fire, and Spiritual Fire), which means that even though the image on my Welsh Tarot card seems peaceful, this card is filled with power. Combine it with the Ace of Wands, which also corresponds with the element of Fire, and contains the potential to be every other Wands card in the Minor Arcana, and I have before me an incredibly powerful day filed with possibilities! I hope I can live up to this potential!

My Thoth card is the Prince of Cups. Today may be a day of outer serenity, but inside of me the waters are churning. I will be good at seeing how I can turn things to my own advantage today, but I need to be real careful that I don’t step on some toes in the process.

My Legacy card is the Queen of Coins reversed. Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts) of Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes). These two elements are passively supportive, and in an upright position they tell of a regenerative force; in other words the emotions support and aid the senses. Astrologically, this Queen represents the cusp of Sagittarius (a free spirit who loves fun and philosophy, but can tend to be disorganized and procrastinating) and Capricorn (determined, sensual, reserved and productive, but can be pessimistic and rude). The Queen of Coins in an upright position nurtures the body and takes care of the home and garden. Not only is she a source of knowledge regarding health and finances and the management of the home, but she also takes the time to beautify her surroundings because beauty is important to her. She likes to feed all of her senses, and pleasure is as important to her as standing in the bedroom after finishing making the bed and dusting the furniture. Because the card is reversed, I am being warned that I am being distracted from these things, or perhaps I am manifesting these characteristics in an unbalanced way. Maybe this distraction happened for a good reason, but the consequences may not be pleasant if allowed to continue for too long.

I just came back from watching the most amazingly beautiful sunset. Today has been a prime Winter day: while the air is cccooolllddd, it is also clear and dry. The sky today has been the most gorgeously vibrant blue, and the ocean was surprisingly calm, given the stiff breeze. Perfect ingredients for a colorful sunset, and I was not disappointed. The orange and fiery ball that is the late afternoon sun seemed to literally drop into the ocean with unexpected speed. To the East, the Belt of Venus was intensely colored in dark blue and pinky-red. Overhead, the sky was cloudless and beautiful. And it was all over in moments! I am glad that I made the effort to be there.

This afternoon I watched John Stewart interview Admiral Mike Mullen, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. I was so impressed with Admiral Mullen (and happy that John interviewed Mullen in a serious manner) that I am dedicating this post today to all of the men and women who serve our country in the armed forces, and all the families of these awesome soldiers, who also sacrifice mightily for all of us.

I have become immensely disappointed in the Democrats (although I have not completely lost hope because I tell myself that the test of time has not yet played out), and while I find much to be valued in the core beliefs of Republicans, I cannot in any way see myself voting for a Republican candidate any time soon. Our forefathers (who I have come to respect mightily for their courage and foresight) must be spinning in their graves! The two parties are mired in partisanship and, in a country that is supposed to be separating religion and government, often seem to reek of Christian fundamentalism, and Congress is so mired in its own processes, and the preferences of big businesses and their blind striving to die with the most money, that it is totally ineffective. But the men and women of our armed forces are volunteering to put themselves in harms way and are for the most part striving to fulfill their missions.

Don’t get me wrong; I do understand that not every soldier is worthy of this praise, but no one is perfect, and for the most part I admire each and every one of them deeply. And so today, I say thank you to each soldier, and to the families and loved ones that are waiting patiently for their return. And I am also taking a moment in their name to realize just how lucky I am. I don’t have to robe myself and hide my face and hair in order to go outside, I was able to divorce my first husband and get a job, and then a career, without fear of reprisal or loosing my standing in the community. I am able to proudly declare my spiritual path if I so wish, and the law will protect my choice. Our country is striving for equality for all, no matter what race, gender, nationality or sexual preference each of us embraces. We are not there yet, but we can all voice our opinions, and our governments are actually voting on these matters, even if there are still those who are opposed to the concept of equality for all with no strings attached. Much American blood has been shed so that I can voice my dismay at the recent defeat of the marriage equality proposals in my area. I am blessed by this blood.

Thank you, any soldier, past or present, who has served or is serving who reads this. Thank you, any person who has family or loved ones in harm’s way. Your gifts are appreciated.


Thursday, January 7, 2010

The Magician/Ten of Swords reversed. My reversed Magician is now upright; yay! I am being told to focus on gaining the skills and knowledge necessary to apply wisdom and the ability to use Will to impact the physical world in order to perform magick. The Magician corresponds to Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts) and Mercury (reason, intelligence, education, skill), and the Hebrew letter Beth (house); The Magician is the house that contains the Divine energy. I am being told that the use of extra intellect will most likely not cause an overload today, but even so I should be aware of the remote possibility.

My Thoth card is the Princess of Swords. Back to Court Cards! Today my focus may be on handling practical matters, and that focus will be strong and difficult to distract, even to the point of missing out on the possible harm I could be causing to others through my directness. Hopefully, I should be able to calm any controversies that I inadvertently cause.

My Legacy card is the Ten of Wands reversed. I will not see my responsibilities as burdens today; instead, I will feel very well able to handle them in a logical and possibly a creative manner. Astrologically, this card represents Saturn (disciplined, responsible, cautious) in Sagittarius (philosophic, adventurous and scattered), a conflict for sure, but since the card is reversed, maybe I can get these two opposites to work together.

Two Ten cards, both reversed. While my focus may be on getting things done and tying up loose ends, the end of the day may not bring me a sense of completion. Oh well . . . there is always tomorrow.

I really love what is happening to my perception of my world. I love pondering theories, and I certainly am being gifted with quite a few theories to ponder of late. I asked myself an unsettling question yesterday: with all of these aha! moments and “echoes” of Deity that I am finding in my life and my world, am I becoming a supporter of Intelligent Design? Not exactly.

I spent all day trying to figure out what it is about ID that I disagree with, and I think I have figured it out. The way ID has been presented, there is a definite separation implied between the Watchmaker and his creation. There is a Supreme Being, and that SB created the universe from his/her/its abode and included in that creation instructions for its manifestations. The difference between this understanding and my own is that I have come to see that the Creator and the Created are mixed all together. Yes, life manifests according to its instructions, but life also contains the instructions within its makeup, and both the instructions and the manifestations are “shadows” or “images” of what the SB is, and “looks like” (assuming that the SB can be seen rather than just comprehended and sensed). To me, there can’t be a separation for it is the union of the Creator and the Created that makes it work.

How do I describe this? Let’s use this as an example: as a natural part of its existence, my body creates hair. Does that mean that I am the creator of hair? Not if the “I” of that question denotes a conscious being that is consciously choosing to create hair. Creator and Created are catalysts of each other, and they are byproducts of existence. But they are not completely separate and opposing concepts of “Cause” and “Effect.” There is no Intelligent Designer that is separate from his/her/its Creation because the Creation cannot exist unless it is also the Designer. LOL, hard to describe but easy to comprehend in my own mind (which right now is lit by the sparks of many fried circuits, apparently *wink*).

I emailed Lisa yesterday to ask if she had ever learned book binding, with the hope that she would at some point agree to make a fancy Book of Shadows for me. It turns out that Lisa will be beginning a course later this month that will teach her binding, and she already makes her own paper. By the time she is ready to take on a commission, I should probably be ready to order one. Perfect! I need to find time to call her so she can explain my options. Decisions, decisions!!

Glen and Candy posted a slide show video of our Blue Moon House Blue Moon New Year’s Eve Party on YouTube. I love it!!! There is even a shot of the full moon, which miraculously appeared through the clouds as we walked onto the beach. Here is the link to the video: My vain self must say this: I am probably 15 pounds heavier than I was in August, and that 15 pounds really shows in the video. *wince*


Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Temperance/Ten of Swords. Temperance is one Major Arcana card that I have recently connected with, partially because its astrological correspondence is Sagittarius (mutable Fire, “I seek,” philosophic, adventurous, seeking knowledge, scattered, blundering; Samekh: tent-post or foundation, support and control), and partially because Balance has become so important to me of late. Today in particular, I am being told that Balance should be on my mind, for there may be powers beyond my control that will finally have an effect today. There is hope for a silver lining, though, because along with that Balance is an innate ability to analyze the events of the day and learn from them.

My Thoth card is the Eight of Cups. “Indolence” is my card for today, and I think I am being warned of the possibility to become weighted down by everything that is coming at me from all sides. Water always seeks the lowest spot, and if too much accumulates, its own weight will be destructive.

My Legacy card is The Magician reversed. In an upright position, this card tells of having the skills and knowledge necessary to apply wisdom and the ability to use Will to impact the physical world in order to perform magick. The Magician corresponds to Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts) and Mercury (reason, intelligence, education, skill). When I take into consideration the aha! moments I am experiencing, I believe this card in a reversed position tells of the approach of a focus on learning the ways of The Magician. However, I am also being told that I need to remember that all the skills and knowledge and wisdom that comes to me does not originate from within me; I must not loose sight of the real Source of all that I am and all that I am becoming.

I am still getting deeper understanding of the gift of information and instructions that were given to me by Cernunnos on Sunday. Now, I understand what Tara means when she tells of experiencing a “cosmic download,” for unlike most of my aha! moments, which tend to come to me as a blow-your-mind momentary glimpse of the Machinery of the Universe (such as my DNA mindblow of several weeks ago), this one really does feel like a download of an application update, which tends to take a while to install completely. Sometimes, the update requires a restart of the system before the final components can install and run properly. Could this be what I am experiencing now?

Anyway, I was applying Reiki to my sacral chakra as I drove to work as part of my 40-day Reiki Project, thinking about how Cernunnos told me that this was one of the chakras through which I was to understand the cycles of living, when I was suddenly filled with a simple yet profound sense of literally being a part of a cycle. For a moment, I was overcome with emotion! I was reminded of my recent thoughts regarding the importance of a single tiny seed in a large seed pod, and how significant that one tiny seed could be in the bigger picture. I realized that both my body and my life force are a part of the entire macrocosm, a part of what makes it all work.

Like a plant that sprouts, matures, reproduces, and then dies and decomposes in order to feed the next generation, my body is a part of a closed cycle. Everything is renewed and reused, and if my “footprint” is responsible, the cycle will not break down. Life is indeed eternal because the living must die, and death is as important as birth and living.

I am learning more and more about how my emotions and my intentions and my Will affect not only myself and my own experiences in life, but my entire world and everything else that is also alive, right down to that pond scum I mentioned in my DNA aha! moment. Some of these effects are on the quantum level, but hey . . . for the want of a nail!

Humans seem to have civilized themselves into complete isolation from this closed cycle, or at least they are attempting to do so. We give birth in sterile operating theaters, with the actual birth process being treated like a surgery to cure an illness rather than a miraculous and completely natural process for which the female body is well prepared (or should be if the physical body is maintained properly). During my childhood I spent the majority of my spare time outside, touching and playing in (and yes, probably eating!) dirt and germs, getting sunburned and wet from the rain, picking cherries or pears right from the trees and eating them with dirty hands, playing in the snow until the beginning of frostbite set in on my toes, which hurt enough to make me cry as they thawed. Now, children are sterilized and brought to playgroups and tend to experience life through computer games and FaceBook and the text messages of their friends. We reach maturity, and end up spending eight hours or more inside a sealed, climate controlled building, and then drive home in rush hour traffic and struggle to take care of all of our “stuff.” We don’t strive to find food and in doing so, exercise our bodies; instead we “forage” in the aisles of the grocery store, stocked with processed foods filled with unhealthy levels of sugar, salt and chemicals. We get sick, and we go to doctors who are focusing mostly on the physical body, and get pumped full of chemicals in order to dull the symptoms that are shouting at us, warning us of a severe unbalance within the connections of the mind, the emotions, the physical body and the spirit. In fact, those connections are only recently becoming acknowledged as valid by this very community of doctors who are striving to keep us healthy. Then we die, and our physical body is again pumped full of chemicals after most of the body fluids are removed and disposed of, and we are placed in a sealed coffin which is then placed in a cement vault, protecting that empty shell of a physical vehicle from its rightful final resting place: back into the cycle that created and supported it through its life.

What is wrong with this picture? No wonder humans are ending up as psychotic despots desperately trying to rule their individual worlds with iron fists; we are each subconsciously aware of the breakdown that is coming, but none of us want to fix it. Instead, we wall ourselves up into the ivory tower of the blindly entitled, trying in vain to prevent the changes and unstoppable movement that are life and living. Perhaps if we use our Will to force everyone to keep things exactly as they are **now** and impose our version of how things should be onto everyone else, the disaster won’t happen! This reminds me of the picture I saw once of a bus after an accident, hanging precariously out on an overpass over the busy roadway below. I can hear the bus driver yelling in panic: “Nobody move!!!”

This awareness of these cycles is the “gift” of Cernunnos to me. I realized this morning that I am a small link in the giant chain that is this cycle of life. I belong, I have incredible value, just like that tiny seed in the large seed pod; and this realization is empowering and validating. However, the awareness comes with the burden of an awareness of humanity’s effects on these cycles, for in coming to understand the “how” and the “why” of these cycles (both very important to me), I am also seeing how much the cycles are being abused by humanity as we incorrectly assume that we and we alone are made in the image of Deity and have been given our world and everything in it to do with as we please.

LOL, don’t worry; I am not about to become the newest and hippest despot, calling for humanity’s forced return to the primitive life. I do understand that while each of us shares the responsibility of being a balanced consumer who is aware that he or she is not the only consumer out there, I am only responsible for my own choices. Cernunnos has told me that my efforts to understand my own energy field and the Universal Life Force have brought me to the point where I need to learn more about the physical manifestations of life and how they all fit into the workings and maintenance of the cycles of life. I have come to believe already that there is nothing wrong with eating the flesh of animals, with using the fur or other parts of their bodies, with mowing my lawn or eradicating that ant nest under my stove, because living and dying and the survival of the fittest (along with the culling of some in order to maintain other species), and all the individuals striving to survive and reproduce, are all a part of what makes life itself vibrant and immortal. As long as each of us only takes what we need and as long as each of us acts responsibly, keeping in mind that all of life in its myriad of forms has a right to survive just as much as we do, then even eating a good steak can be seen as a sacred act.

Am I putting down the vegans and vegetarians of this world? Not at all. We each define “acting with responsibility” in our own individual way, and my way is not right for everyone. I respect each definition of the term out there, and I respect anyone who strives to be true to themselves and their own ethical standards. One thing this omnivorous Witch has in common with her vegan and vegetarian friends is that we each are choosing to understand the value and sacredness of all life, and we are choosing our actions with awareness of that sacredness.

And the cosmic download continues . . .


Monday, January 4, 2010

Ten of Wands/Queen of Cups reversed. I may find that today I am particularly aware of my burdens and responsibilities, and by the end of the day I may feel used up because of them. I think this card is also reminding me that although I felt an extreme lack of energy lately because I was sick, I was able to put forth enough effort to get the minimum done; I am stronger than I realize. However, I may find that I will need to bring my focus back to the task at hand often today due to lack of grounding, and that grounding should happen within the element of Air. In other words, I need to make the conscious effort to be mindful and awake throughout the day.

My Thoth card is the Queen of Cups reversed. In an upright position, Uncle Al sees this card as indicating a dreaminess and patience combined with tranquility, and the ability to act as a conduit between opposites without being personally affected. Because it is reversed, I may find that my dreaminess may be distracting me from reality.

My Legacy card is The Hanging Man. I have thrown this card with this deck a few times of late, and that means the message of this particular card in this particular deck is important to me. In Marchetti’s deck, The Hermit is not on a fun camping trip; he is striving to accomplish or realize a goal in a solitary way, relying only on himself. Marchetti describes in this way: “Some knowledge takes the form of light and some takes the form of shadow. The knowledge of light is meant for the world. The knowledge of shadow is meant for you alone, but it is concealed until you are ready.” The Hermit corresponds with the sign of Virgo (“I serve,” practical, analytical, work and service oriented, orderly), and the Hebrew letter of Yod (the hand; divine light, the point of light out of which everything came). I am being reminded that sometimes surrender happens because we are poised between two equal yet opposing forces; in this case they may well be inner vs. outer, active vs. passive, and past vs. future.

I am starting the new year off with some wonderful challenges!

We had an awesome weekend with DeeDee and Anthony, Brent and Maggie. Our Blue Moon House Blue Moon New Year’s Eve Party was a success, and we really enjoyed the rest of the weekend, although it was cooooolllllldddd!! Burr!! I woke up Sunday morning finally feeling my personal energy field again, after two weeks of laryngitis and bronchitis. In looking back, I think I was sicker than I realized at the time, and I probably should have gone to the doctor’s. I am still coughing, and by the end of the day my throat is sore, but at least the fog in my brain has lifted, and my chakras and shield and aura have come back to life. I was even able to give Helen a Reiki I attunement yesterday.

I was able to keep up with my 40-day Reiki program, but some days only barely. However, during my ride home last night, my chakras opened nicely and the Reiki flowed. Once I had opened and balanced each chakra and then applied Reiki into each, I felt Cernunnos!!!

He appeared young. His antlers were still forming, and were covered with velvety skin; His face was youthful, and His body had not yet become the buff, mature male that I normally visualize when thinking of Cernunnos. I could smell his scent, a combination of horse/deer, clean sweat and musk; I can smell it even now, as I type this.

He led me along a path through leafless trees, with a cold wind at our backs, until we came to a small clearing. In the center of the clearing was a stone pillar (decorated with helixes!); on top of the pillar was a bowl shaped torch, lit. We walked up to the fire, and He reached two fingers into the ashes and then marked my cheeks with two lines of ash, running from the ear to the mouth, as He had done once before. Then, He asked me if I was ready to hear his words. I nodded, and said that I was ready.

Cernunnos then told me that I did the right thing in focusing on my inner self and the Sacred Feminine in preparation for Yule, but he told me that I needed to do more than just that. He said that I needed to be away from my awareness of my own energy field and aura completely, which is why I got sick on Yule Eve for two weeks (during which I was only able to connect with my chakras/personal energy field with enormous effort).

He then told me that if I would like to dedicate myself to Him, I can do so this Beltane, however. Big “however.” If I truly desire to dedicate myself to Him, there are many things that I must do to prepare myself. He told me to listen and remember, and then told me what I must do to prepare.

I must extend my 40-day Reiki another 10 days to 50 days. Cernunnos explained that the number 50 represents the concept of “half,” and He is half of the Divine. He also explained that the number 5 is about motion, and life is always in motion and always evolving and growing and changing; that is one important lesson.

Cernuunos says that I have learned enough for now about the Sacred Feminine/inner/life force/life potential that is Goddess, now I must learn about the manifestations of life, the cycles of life, and the Catalyst that is the Sacred Masculine. I must understand the ways that these cycles of life are able to regenerate and perpetuate themselves. And I am to start with blood, the “water of life.” I need to experience these cycles in part through my first three chakras, and the extended Reiki applications will help prepare me for this.

I am also to complete my Shadow work, my second degree lesson, and any other uncompleted long-term tasks, for he does not want distractions. Not that I am forbidden to take on responsibilities or do what I have to do in order to fulfill commitments by any means; after all, life is motion by its very nature.

I am to be a healer, but not the usual healer. I am to be a “Balancer,” (His description) and I am not to do the work for others in order to make them balanced, but rather I am to both teach them the “way to balance” and offer the initial catalyst that has the potential to manifest as balance. But it is up to each person to choose to do their own work in order to strive towards balance This is what I am to do for Mystery, and that is why both Mystery and I must be very careful as we formally dedicate ourselves as magickal partners, for there will be consequences beyond what we both anticipate. He warned me that everything Mystery and I do together has the potential to bring unforeseen consequences, and we need to be very aware whenever we work together. He was not discouraging me by any means, but rather reminding me that magick is real, and so are the consequences of working with magick.

Then I heard the cry of a hawk, and a Cooper’s hawk landed at Cernunnos’s feet, holding a newly dead rabbit in its talons. Cernunnos picked up the rabbit, and then offered thanks to the hawk as Hunter and the rabbit as Hunted, and acknowledged the sacredness of the cycle of life and death. He then tore open the carcass and withdrew the still beating heart. He held the heart out to me towards my mouth, and I knew that my first test had come, for I was to eat it. I took a breath, and opened my mouth, and pretended that I was eating a raw oyster; needless to say, the aftertaste was not quite the same.

Cernunnos then dipped two fingers into the rabbit’s blood, and drew two lines across my forehead and over each of the ash lines from each ear to the corner of my mouth. Then He wiped more blood on my lips, and then bent toward me and kissed me on the mouth. That kiss was soft and gentle, but the spike of energy that shot through me was not!

What a way to start the year!