Sunday, February 26, 2012

Six of Wands/Justice reversed. The Six of Wands (Jupiter, expansiveness and growth, justice, fortune, in Leo, “I am,” passionate, dramatic, noble, authoritative) expresses the celebration we feel when we have passed some test or successfully met a challenge.  This is not an ending card, so the tests and challenges aren’t finished with me, but so far, the results are good, and I should feel proud of my accomplishments.  Justice is a card of adjustment, and it corresponds with the element of Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts, and quick, animated energy that usually brings problems or challenges that bring growth), Libra (“we are,” partnerships, balance, cooperation), Lamed (ox goad; training or teaching), and the Path between Tiphareth (the hub of the creation process where energies harmonize and focus to illuminate and clarify) and Geburah (the place where forms and structures are challenged or affirmed), and is about cause and effect.  Since Justice is reversed, this will not be a day of using what I’ve learned in order to move forward.  I may have trouble feeling mentally engaged in meeting my responsibilities, also.  Maybe celebrating too much **wink**

My Thoth card is the Two of Cups reversed. “Love” is Uncle Al’s keyword for The Two of Cups (Venus, beauty, allure, relationships, in Cancer, “I feel,” sensitive, family and home oriented, tenacious, moody), which is about love and connections, usually about relationships and commonalities.  My Two of Cups is reversed today, and this may indicate a need for solitude, maybe even taking some time to just think about myself.

My Legacy card is the Seven of Cups reversed, flavored by the Two of Swords reversed. The Seven of Cups (Venus, beauty, allure, relationships, in Scorpio, “I desire,” intense, controlling, obsessive, mysterious) represents the distraction and dissipation that happens when we have too many options.  My Seven of Cups card is reversed, though, so choices will be made, with an ability to know what I want and with serenity.  The Two of Swords (Moon, feelings and emotions, illusion, imagination, in Libra, “We are,” partnerships, balance, cooperation) can represent a time of not looking or of shutting out the world.  My Two of Swords is reversed today, so I will be able to look at and analyze the facts.  This ability to see and understand is what is flavoring my Seven of Cups; no wonder I am able to make effective choices!

My 6-digit date number is 4, the number of stability and depth.  Watch out for stagnation!

My horoscopes: “You’re usually a hard worker, Sagittarius, whether the work involves a job, personal project, or simply chores around the house. Today, however, you're going through a fit of laziness. Chances are you don't want to do a thing except lie around and read or watch TV. It's OK. We all need time to let our hair down and relax. Don't suffer undue guilt because you don't feel like working.

And: “If you have been wanting to get involved in some type of volunteer organization, today may be the day you sign up to support a worthy cause. Whether it's Habitat for Humanity or Save the Whales, you realize that working to better the planet has been an important element missing in your life. Life glows all the brighter with your new altruistic outlook.

My Shadowscapes Insight is regarding the Seven of Wands.  Faith, courage, and taking a stand, all ingredients of the Seven of Wands.  Having something of value means possibly having to defend it from others with ill intents.  Sometimes I even need to defend that thing of value from myself!

I saw a beautiful sunset this evening.  The wind of the past few days has finally died down, and the sky is clear.  I left the house about an hour before sunset, walked to Madison Avenue and then down to the ocean, where I turned south.  It was low tide, and the water was so gentle.  I walked along the hard damp sand, inhaling clean ocean air and enjoying the feeling of my muscles warming up.  Yay, metabolic discipline!

As the sun lowered to the horizon, I thought of my beloved Pagan Brain Trust-ers, two of whom are recovering from a particularly nasty bout with food poisoning.  I soaked up the beauty of the blue sky, the Belt of Venus in the east and the orange ball of fire that was the sun as it first touched and then sank into the sea.  The waxing crescent of the Moon became bright as the sun disappeared, and there they were, Venus and Jupiter, one above and one below the Moon, creating a powerful triangle.  Venus, the planet of love and emotions and Jupiter, expansion of the mind, with the waxing lunar energies, lighting up the sky.  What sigil work we could have done, Tara!!

It was full dark by the time I got back to the house.  I have poured myself a glass of wine, and plan on sitting by the fireplace and reading for a bit.

I am reading an interesting book that is kind of validating some of my progress through the Great Work.  This book is “Extraordinary Healing: Transforming Your Consciousness, Your Energy System, and Your Life” by Marilyn Gordon; thus far, the book is talking about the three stages of healing, presented in this book as experience, release and transformation.  One paragraph early on kind of struck me:

Every experience carries a richness and has value.  Paying close attention is the first step in the process of self-knowledge.  It is a process of looking with an inner microscope or magnifying glass and just seeing what’s there.  It’s about looking, for example, at current experiences that are taking place in the body – pains, constrictions, tingling, holding – whatever is happening in the moment.  It’s also about looking at the mind and emotions – seeing whether there is sadness or rage or tightness or shame.  It’s about looking even more deeply at the experience, possibly finding the roots.  The roots may be in childhood, or they may go all the way back to the womb.  Or they may go to another lifetime, or to a belief or a tendency of the mind.

The way to the light is through the darkness, the way to the solution is through the difficulty.  I am learning through the Great Work, and through the life experiences that are presenting themselves to me so that I may understand the lessons of the alchemic processes, that every experience is important.  Even the uncomfortable ones.

Marilyn Gordon sums this concept up nicely: “It is about diving into the full experience of the dual universe – the dark and light, the sacred and profane, the sensitive and gross – and moving into knowledge, love and profound inner power.  By moving into these altered dimensions, you find perceptional shifts in which you see everything in your life from a new perspective.  It may mean, for example, that you see everything that has happened to you as a kind of blessing to help you become a wiser, more compassionate human being.  It may mean that you see someone who’s hurt you as a powerful agent of change in your life and who has perhaps propelled you to seek higher ground.

And: “This inner work is about going to the deepest roots of our suffering, stirring the pot and bringing them to the surface, shining the light of consciousness upon them, thereby transforming them and bringing greater freedom to the soul.  This is the work we came here to do, the great healing of our lives.

The Great Work, and Purpose.  There they are, again.  I feel a build-up happening, I feel some revelation coming.  I can’t wait to see what it is.

$>

Friday, February 24, 2012

The Emperor/Four of Swords.  The Emperor, which is a Fire card (hot/separates and dry/shapes, and spontaneous, impulsive, energetic change) that corresponds with the astrological sign of Aries (“I want,” action oriented, assertive, competitive) and the Hebrew letter Heh (window, illumination), represents confidence and authority; it is about being ethical and just, and it is also about taking the lead and manifesting into the physical world what I have learned.  The energies of The Emperor are about justice, and about conforming to the rules.  The Four of Swords (Jupiter, expansiveness and growth, justice, fortune, in Libra, “We are,” partnerships, balance, cooperation) tells of the need of some time of rest and recuperation, usually to be brought about by a time of truce or pause or quiet.  This is not a truce that comes about through weakness, but rather a mutual deterrent, an agreement to not fight.  These two make a powerful combined energy.

My Thoth card is the Ace of Wands. The Ace of Wands (Leo, “I am,” passionate, dramatic, egotistical, Virgo, “I serve,” practical, analytical, sensible, orderly) tells of the first spark of a new and exciting creative process.  This is a card filled with potential, the potential to create, to experience courage, to have confidence, to be filled with enthusiasm. The Ace of Wands represents the light or torch that can guide me to success, but in order to access its potential, I need to agree to carry the torch.

My Legacy card is the Seven of Cups, flavored by The Sun reversed. The Seven of Cups (Venus, beauty, allure, relationships, in Scorpio, “I desire,” intense, controlling, obsessive, mysterious) represents the distraction and dissipation that can happen when we are presented with enticing choices. The traditional image of the Seven of Cups shows seven cups, each filled with what appears to be a wonderful gift: the Wreath (Saturn and The World); the Castle (Mars and The Tower), the Woman (Venus and The Empress); the Snake (Mercury and The Magician); the Veil (the Moon and The High Priestess), the Jewels (Jupiter and The Wheel of Fortune), and the Dragon (our Sun and The Sun). The Sun corresponds with Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes, spontaneous, impulsive and energetic change), our Sun (the inner core of a person or situation), Resh (the face; reason), and the Path between Yesod (the place where patterns and images emerge that may manifest in the physical world) and Hod (provides analysis and communication), and upright, it tells of a time of enlightenment. But my Sun card is reversed, so the messages may not be clear today.  Since my reversed Sun is flavoring my Seven of Cups, I certainly should not make any choices based on emotions or feelings.

My 6-digit date number is 11 (Archangel Uriel), which reduces further to 2, the number of balance, polarity, and the concept of distance between.

My horoscopes: “The significant other in your life needs your support not a lecture right now, Sagittarius. Let him or her know you’re available to listen and help in any way, but don’t smother your partner with kindness. He or she will come to you when ready. In the meantime, Sagittarius, take care of your physical needs. If your body craves exercise, why not increase your jogging miles or add extra time to your gym workout? Absence does make the heart grow fonder, after all.

And: “Today, you should be feeling especially beautiful, romantic, and sexy. Therefore any current or potential romantic partner whom you encounter will probably pay you lots of attention, and want to make plans for the two of you to get together for an evening. This might be just what you need, as the last few days may have been difficult. Get out of the house and have a little fun. Everyone needs to do this now and then!

My Shadowscapes Insight is regarding the Seven of Cups.  Hmmm . . . this card, while lovely, is about yearning for the impossible.  We all indulge in a bit of fantasy every now and then, and as long as we don’t allow our fantasy to overwhelm us, there is nothing wrong with this.  After all, fantasies are visualizations of what we would like to achieve.  The thing we need to remember is that sooner or later we must choose one fantasy and actually take actions to turn it into reality.

I was leafing through one of my husband’s business magazines this morning, and found an interesting article.  I am always drawn to read any article that presents an alternate way to view modern medicine, and this one turned out to be pretty cool.  This was a short article in Fortune magazine written by Brian Dumaine, reviewing a book written by Dr. David Agus (one of Steve Jobs’ doctors), called “The End of Illness.” 

Basically, the review describes the message of the book: treat health, not the disease.  Dumaine describes Dr. Agus’s focus in this way: “Today, if we get cancer, we attack the cells.  If we get a heart attack, we perform a bypass.  That’s fine, but why not avoid the disease in the first place?” (p 14, Fortune Magazine, February 27, 2012)  I think this is not a new idea for most of the Reiki practitioners, massage therapists, holistic healers and bodyworkers that I know.  Treating the symptom, whether that symptom is a headache or a lethal form of cancer, is only half of the task of a healer.  The other part of the process should be bringing the body, the entire body, not just the physical body, to a state of optimal healing.  All connections and workings of the body should be balanced and strengthened, not just the physiological mechanisms.  If enough focus is placed on achieving emotional health, subtle body balance and cleansing and spiritual fulfillment of some kind, then metabolic discipline will yield a much better result.

Dr. Agus believes that at least as far as the physical systems of the body are concerned, one huge enemy is inflammation.  When the human body is injured or ill, it goes into a sort of panic mode in order to bring back balance.  This panic mode involves inflammation, which is actually the body’s response to injury or illness.  All of the systems of the body, vascular, immune and cellular, rush to the scene of the disability, like a bunch of ambulances, tow trucks and rescue vehicles, and the result is swelling or inflammation. 

The key is to prevent such issues from becoming panic mode situations.  This means exercising (and Dr. Agus recommends walking rather than short but intense bursts of exercise), eating well, keeping the subtle body free of kinks and blockages, and maintaining good emotional, mental and spiritual health.  This means learning about and understanding the workings of each of these tools, for by understanding just what best case and worst case scenarios we are each prone to experience, we can be prepared to mitigate any panic mode situations and we can get the most out of the times when we are balanced and healthy.

Metabolic discipline and spiritual evolution.  And through experiencing the process of Separation, I am choosing both of them.

$>

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Page of Swords reversed/Nine of Swords reversed.  The Page of Swords (Capricorn, “I build,” ambitious, competent, cautious, cunning, Aquarius, “I know,” friendships, the group, society, cause-oriented, and Pisces, “I believe,” feelings, duality, soul growth, spirituality) reminds me to use my mind and my intellect to analyze situations as well as the messages of my senses.  The Nine of Swords (Mars, action, spontaneity, aggression, in Gemini, “I think,” curious, talkative, social, dual) represents brooding and worrying, usually self-caused, and usually unproductive.  These two cards together, both reversed, seem to have a message for me.  I need to be super cautious today, because honesty and ethics are important, but because I am not sensing their importance and thus, not worrying about them, I might miss something important.  However, not worrying also might mean that I will attract good things, and thus won’t need the clarity of focus of that Page.

My Thoth card is the Six of Wands.  “Victory” is Crowley’s keyword for this card, and I can use one.  The Six of Wands (Jupiter, expansiveness and growth, justice, fortune, in Leo, “I am,” passionate, dramatic, noble, authoritative) expresses the celebration we feel when we have passed some test.  This is not an ending card, so the cycle is not yet complete, but I am being told that enough has been accomplished successfully to necessitate analysis of the experience thus far.  Yay!

My Legacy card is the Five of Coins, flavored by The Hermit reversed.  The Five of Coins (Mercury, reason, intelligence, education, skill, communication, in Taurus, “I have,” sensual, cautious, stubborn) traditional image shows a woman and a child, one of them injured in some way, travelling in the cold wind, with a church window behind them.  I am being told to expect some challenges in the physical world connected to finance, health, or family that may result in a feeling of isolation. The Hermit, which like the suit of Coins, corresponds with Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes, and material, practical and stable energy that is slow to change), as well as Virgo (“I serve,” practical, analytical, work and service oriented, orderly), Yod (open hand, touch), and the Path between Tiphareth (the hub of the creation process where energies harmonize and focus to illuminate and clarify) and Chesed (the place where forms and structure are stabilized and nurtured), is about searching within for a deeper meaning.  The upright card often tells of the need of solitude in order to be able to perceive the messages offered and lessons to be learned.  However, my Hermit is reversed, and thus it is telling me that while circumstances may attempt to isolate me, I do have the choice of actively placing myself within a group so as to not be alone.  I need to remind myself that physical world luxuries are not everything, and often the things I value most cannot be purchased with any coin.

My Pearls of Wisdom New Moon card is Judgement.  The Pearls of Wisdom LWB states that the Judgement card “speaks to a fiery initiation and period of growth if you are willing and able to identify and release the psychological toxins associated with your conditioning.”  Well, this speaks to me in several ways.  First, it could be referring to the Great Work and my experiences within the alchemic stages of this process.  Second, I just learned that good friends of ours lost their restaurant to a fire last night.  Thankfully no one was hurt, but the building is totally destroyed.  Oy!  Judgement corresponds with Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes, and spontaneous, impulsive and energetic change), Pluto (power, metamorphosis, cycles of dying and becoming), Shin (fang), and the Path between Malkuth (the physical world of action and physical, outer reality) and Hod (provides analysis and communication) and it usually tells of an opportunity to validate the good stuff and get rid of the stuff I don’t need any more.  This is the very alchemic process I am focusing on!  Separation!

My 6-digit date number is 9, the number of completeness of experience and manifestation.

My horoscopes: “Emotional issues rooted in the past could leave you feeling inhibited today, Sagittarius. You might also be a bit more touchy than usual and see insult where none is intended. Curb the impulse to take offense. Try to confront and release the old issues or at least promise yourself you'll deal with them later. Then be very sweet to your entourage. You should be feeling more positive by day's end.”

And: “Social events that you attend today could put you into touch with some fascinating people. A new female acquaintance could become a close friend. These individuals may either be highly educated in a field that interests you, or they could be from other states or distant countries. Conversations should be more than stimulating, and information gleaned today could serve you well for a long time. Matters of writing, teaching and publishing come to the forefront.”

My Shadowscapes Insight is regarding the Page of Pentacles.  This one has been appearing quite frequently.  This Page loves to learn, loves to examine or consider details, loves to meditate, especially on material matters, and loves to bring happy news.  Diligence and focus allow me to enjoy my accomplishments!

I have not been here for a bit, and with a good reason.  I ended up coming down with a horrible head cold, and most of my focus was on getting done the things that absolutely had to get done.  But I am finally feeling back to my old self, and now I begin the game of catch up, taking care of all the things I let slide while I was not feeling well.

I’ve got some work to do within my Coven responsibilities, so I will be busy over the next few days.  And I have incentive to get things cleaned up: my much-loved Wayne Contingency of the Pagan Brain Trust will be visiting me in Cape May this weekend.  We will even do our New Moon Reiki Share a few days late so that four of us can perform the Share face-to-face.

Before I move away from the alchemic process of Separation, I would like to mention that this process is not only about sorting through things and then discarding whatever is old or broken or worn out.  This process is also about identifying the things that are genuine and strong and of value, and Separating them from the detritus in order to keep these things pure.  Separation allows us to actively choose to take the high road, and to see all potential and possibility through optimistic eyes. 

One of the biggest difficulties to be overcome within this process of Separation is keeping those chosen things pure, and not allowing them to recombine with refuse or to pick up new impurities.  This is the last 1796) that “[w]hen the alchemist sees the perfect whiteness, the philosophers say that one has to destroy his books, because they have become superfluous.”  This is similar to connecting to the Mysteries of Wicca; once we discover these Mysteries, we are boldly going forward where no man has gone before.  There are no instructions from that point forward.

$>

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Knight of Cups/King of Wands reversed. The Knight of Cups (cusp of Aquarius, “I know,” friendships, the group, cause-oriented, and Pisces, “I believe,” feelings, duality, suffering, soul growth) is about feeling things strongly, and about dreaming.  These two are a powerful combination, and together, they just might be able to accomplish magick!!   At least, this Knight thinks so.  The King of Wands (cusp of Cancer, “I feel,” sensitive, nurturing, moody, and Leo, “I am,” passionate, dramatic egotistical) is charismatic and forceful, but in an admirable way, a way that empowers himself and everyone around him. He is a natural leader who not only creates new strategies, but puts them into effect.  He is reversed, however, and so those strong feelings and dreams aren’t going to be much help.

My Thoth card is the Knight of Wands reversed. The Knight of Wands (cusp of Scorpio, “I desire,” intense, controlling, deep, obsessive, and Sagittarius, “I seek,” philosophic, fun-loving, blundering) is a person of passion, courage, enthusiasm and boundless energy.  Kind of like my King of Wands, only the Knight is not quite as good as the King about maintaining what he starts. I will need to keep an eye on my enthusiasm today, so I don’t run someone over.

My Legacy card is the Two of Wands reversed, flavored by the Four of Swords. The Two of Wands (Mars, action, spontaneity, aggression, drive, in Aries, “I want,” action oriented, pioneering, assertive, enthusiastic) tells of power, influence and authority, and like the rest of my Wands cards today, it is reversed.  I may feel cut off at the knees today, or like my power has been taken from me. The Four of Swords (Jupiter, expansiveness and growth, justice, fortune, in Libra, “We are,” partnerships, balance, cooperation) tells of the need of some time of rest and recuperation, usually to be brought about by a time of truce or pause or quiet. This card is not a card of weakness; rather it is of equal yet opposing powers.  The Four of swords is more a temporary pause, and since it is flavoring my reversed Two of Wands, it is telling me to not freak out when I feel my power being taken from me.  Relax!

My 6-digit date number is 11 (Archangel Uriel), which reduces further to 2, the number of polarity, balance, and the concept of “distance between.”

My horoscopes: “Careful planning on your part is starting to pay off, Sagittarius, but be careful that you don't alienate others in your quest to be the best. You may not realize how your harsh words affect the people around you. Be more sensitive to the feelings of others. Focus and be brave in your actions. Hesitation may cause you to lose control of the situation. Know your boundaries, but push beyond them.”

And: “You generally tend to be intellectually curious, with many interests you're always trying to learn more about. Today, however, you could have a subject in mind you're dying to research - but you'll be unable to find any books, articles, websites, etc., no matter how many libraries you try or databases you explore. Don't bother with it today. You'll only succeed in frustrating yourself. Instead, watch an old TV comedy rerun. At least you'll get a few laughs!”

My Shadowscapes Insight is regarding The Lovers.  Aaaah, the card of Love!  And while this Major Arcana card does usually refer to some kind of important relationship, it is also about determining values, and about struggling with choices, usually regarding temptation and ethics.  All these things are important to me today.

I have a good life; I am serene and filled with Purpose, and a deep and strong connection to Deity.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, my life is not void of challenges.  They come with regularity, some little irritations and some huge mountains or endless canyons blocking my way.  But I have found a solid foundation, and thus, I am not easily shaken.

I am learning and growing, and I am loving it.  I get excited when I learn something new, and I get excited when an opportunity presents itself to share these new things with others.  I am fed by my connection to Nature, and I am surrounded by loved ones.  I may not have much money, but I am indeed rich.

I have come to realize that not everyone looks at life the same way I do.  And I have stumbled upon the reason that The Tower has appeared in my daily card spreads eight times since the end of November. 

I know you come here.  If you don’t come yourself, you have others come, and I hope they give you this message.  And it is a simple one, three simple words: let it go.

Why would you ever strive to keep a grievance alive for all this time?  This happened four years ago!!  Four years!!  No matter how you remember this event, and no matter how you perceive my role in the manifestation of this event it is very much a part of the past.  It is no longer a part of our lives; like a piece of colorful printed cloth that was washed in bleach and then left out in the sun to dry, this event of so long ago has faded for us, and is no longer a part of our “present.”  And yet, you still carry this grievance with you, like a large drawstring laundry bag filled with dirty, smelly clothes, and you grasp that bag tightly and heft it onto your shoulder so that you can bring it with you into your present and your future.  And that bag is heavy, and smelly, and awkward; it takes lots of effort and lots of focus for you to keep it in place.  Why would you waste time and effort on this?  Throw the bag down!  Free yourself from it.  Let it go.

Keeping a grievance alive for all this time is difficult; grievances are hungry and they need to be fed constantly.  And the way you keep a grievance alive is you feed it time.  Just think about it.  In order to feed this grievance and keep it alive while we have all moved onward and focused on growing and evolving, and on living our lives that are gifts of the Goddess to each of us, you have been feeding seconds and minutes and hours and days and weeks and months and years, four years of time, to this grievance that is so important to you.  Four years is 1,460 days, days that could have been spent using your considerable intellect on growth and evolution.  Instead, you have wasted this time that could have been better spent on the present, or the future, on a past event that is meaningless.  Let it go.

It is time to move on.  This is over, in fact it is more than over.  Let it go.

Let it go . . .

$>

Monday, February 13, 2012

Nine of Swords/Judgement. The Nine of Swords (Mars, action, spontaneity, aggression, in Gemini, “I think,” curious, talkative, social, dual) represents brooding and worrying, usually self-caused, and usually unproductive. Judgement corresponds with Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes, and spontaneous, impulsive and energetic change), Pluto (power, metamorphosis, cycles of dying and becoming), Shin (fang), and the Path between Malkuth (the physical world of action and physical, outer reality) and Hod (provides analysis and communication) and it usually tells of an opportunity to validate the good stuff and get rid of the stuff I don’t need any more.  And I can see how these two cards can feed each other, in a bad way.  Anticipating this culling can bring worry, and worry can distract me or cloud my ability to see what should go and what should stay.  There is nothing wrong with taking the process of the Judgement card seriously, but I need to be sure I visualize a happy outcome.

My Thoth card is The Magus reversed. The Magus/Magician corresponds with Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts, and quick and animated energy which usually presents problems or challenges), Mercury (reason, intelligence, orderliness, communication), Beth (house; builder) and the Path between Binah (female, receptive energy and the origin of form and structure) and Kether (the source, limitless possibility); he takes action with confidence and is willing to work hard to manifest his goals. Crowley sees this card as being connected to cunning and occult wisdom.  My Magician is reversed, so communication could be a problem; I may experience a lack of focus, or perhaps I might just need a time of rest and quiet.

My Legacy card is Temperance, flavored by the Eight of Wands reversed. Temperance corresponds with Sagittarius (“I seek,” philosophic, adventurous, blundering) Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes, and spontaneous, impulsive, energetic change), Samekh (the tent post), and the Path between Yesod (the place where patterns and images emerge that may manifest into the physical world of action and outer reality) and Tiphareth (the hub of the creation process where energies harmonize and focus to illuminate and clarify), and it is one of the Major Arcana cards that presents the concept of dynamic balance. The Eight of Wands (Mercury, reason, intelligence, education, skill, communication, in Sagittarius, “I seek,” philosophic, fun-loving, adventurous, blundering) is a card of action, of quick developments, and of pulling it all together so things can be completed.  My Eight of Wands is reversed, however, and it is supporting the Temperance card.  No sudden movement, no burst of action; balance is the key.

My 6-digit date number is 9, the number of completeness of manifestation and experience.

My horoscopes: “Successes have been coming your way continually for a while, Sagittarius. The downside is that excessive celebrating and overindulging in food and drink could have you feeling physically out of sorts today. Nonetheless, your mood should still be very high, and you should still be strongly motivated to continue whatever it is you've been doing that has brought such positive results. Let your imagination flow freely, and keep on going.

And: “Give your adventuresome, world-traveling spirit room to soar today. This is a good time to embrace your dreams and express them. Write them down, talk to others, and physically say them out load. Communication and information are key elements to this day. Things may be moving fast and furiously so stay alert and stay tuned in to the electric energy that is buzzing all around you. The best things in life are apt to come on a whim.

My Shadowscapes Insight is regarding the Eight of Wands.  This card tells of a sudden eruption of wonderfully potential-filled energy.  This eruption could be the beginning of an exciting journey; all I need to do in order to access the potential is to be aware of it, to open myself to it.  Momentum is being offered, and I want to take it.

Today, I am going to pause in my own studies to talk about a serious affliction that is paralyzing many people.  Depression, clinical depression.  So, what is clinical depression?

I have a dear friend who is totally debilitated by depression right now, unable to even get out of bed most days.  She is under professional care, thankfully, and her family is very supportive of her, willing to do whatever it takes to help her to move towards a more stable state of being.  In an effort to attempt to understand what she is feeling, I have done a bit of internet research on clinical depression, and would like to share what I learned.

One of the biggest issues regarding depression is the stigma associated with it.  Yes, we are the information generation, but not every bit of information out there about depression is correct.  People with depression often feel completely alone and isolated because it seems like no one understands them, and to a large extent this may be true.  I am assuming that unless we’ve experienced true depression, we might only have a hint about what it feels like.

Depression goes way beyond “the blues,” or sadness. That sadness is only one part of the entire experience; often someone suffering from depression may also be irritable, they may have difficulty concentrating or remembering things, they may feel guilty about their inability to cope, and they may feel absolutely hopeless, with no solution in sight.

There are physical symptoms of depression as well.  People suffering from depression can have sleep problems, fatigue, headaches, back pain, or general aches and pains.  They can experience eating disorders and digestive problems. 

The emotional and physical symptoms can lead to drug or alcohol abuse, which can in turn increase guilt and hopelessness.  Talk about a damaging cycle.

Depression is not a normal part of the aging process, however depression can happen during the grieving process after loss of a partner, family member or loved one.  Depression can run in families. 

Many of those suffering from clinical depression may have abnormal chemical levels in their brains. For some this chemical imbalance alone can make depression a challenge to be overcome, but for others, it is the perfect storm of this chemical imbalance along with stress or sudden chaos or abuse or loss of a loved one, and the inability to cope with these challenges, that brings on the depression, or even causes the chemical imbalance.

Medication is not always required to successfully treat depression.  For some, psychotherapy and cognitive behavioral therapy and interpersonal therapy are helpful on their own.  But others who are suffering from more severe depression need a combination approach, psychotherapy and medication.  And that in itself can be a challenge for those of us who are choosing to use more holistic paths to health and well-being.  Severe depression requires that combination approach, no ifs, ands or buts about it, and the medication associated with this treatment is necessary.

People suffering from depression are not lazy, and they can’t simply snap out of it.  The apathy associated with severe depression is different from laziness, and the exhaustion associated with severe depression can’t be cured by taking a nap or going to bed earlier.  Yes, professional therapy can teach those suffering from depression to identify negative visualizations and thoughts in order to help lessen their effects, but therapy cannot teach people to refuse depression.  No one chooses to experience depression, no one allows the symptoms to debilitate them, and no one can just choose to not be depressed any more.  They can certainly choose to seek help and to access treatments and follow plans of recovery, but they do not have the ability to refuse to be depressed.  This is very, very important to remember.

The most important thing to remember is that the person underneath the depression who is buried under her or his symptoms is still there.  Only proper treatment, the right treatment for each person, can offer them the key to get out of this situation.

My thoughts and prayers and healing visualizations are being sent to the Universe in the name of my dear friend, Patty.  I hope that they, combined with her professional treatments and the support of her loved ones, will help to bring her healing.

$>

Sunday, February 12, 2012

The Empress reversed/Temperance reversed. The Empress (which corresponds with Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes, and stable, material, practical energies that are slow to change), Venus (beauty, allure, pleasure, relationships), Daleth (door or womb) and the Path between Binah (female receptive energy and the origin of form and structure) and Chokmah (dynamic male energy and the origin of vital force and polarity)) is reversed for me today, and so I am being reminded that focusing on pleasing the senses may not be productive. Discipline will be more important than pleasure, and I may have a bit of trouble connecting to my own body. Temperance connects with Sagittarius (“I seek,” philosophic, adventurous, blundering) Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes, and spontaneous, impulsive, energetic change), Samekh (the tent post), and the Path between Yesod (the place where patterns and images emerge that may manifest into the physical world of action and outer reality) and Tiphareth (the hub of the creation process where energies harmonize and focus to illuminate and clarify), and it is one of the Major Arcana cards that presents the concept of dynamic balance.  Because the card is reversed, I should not be focused on balancing extremes.  Perhaps I need to choose one extreme and allow it to manifest, and then ride the wave.  What is not happening here is a connection to Nature and an ability to balance extremes. 

My Thoth card is the Two of Wands reversed. The Two of Wands (Mars, action, spontaneity, aggression, drive, in Aries, “I want,” action oriented, pioneering, assertive, enthusiastic) tells of power, influence and authority.  Because this card is reversed, I am being told to hold back, to not strike out on my own, and to follow the rules.  What is happening here is an inability to connect with my personal power. 

My Legacy card is The Sun reversed, flavored by the Nine of Coins reversed. The Sun corresponds with Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes, spontaneous, impulsive and energetic change), our Sun (the inner core of a person or situation), Resh (the face; reason), and the Path between Yesod (the place where patterns and images emerge that may manifest in the physical world) and Hod (provides analysis and communication), and upright, it tells of a time of enlightenment. But my Sun card is reversed, so the messages may not be clear today, or perhaps I will be too tired or distracted to focus on them and understand them. The Nine of Coins (Venus, beauty, allure, relationships, in Virgo, “I serve,” practical, analytical, work and service oriented) in an upright position tells of accomplishment through the imposition of discipline. My reversed card hints at the presence of self-indulgence, and since this card is flavoring my reversed Sun card, what is happening here is this self-indulgence could be clouding over the illumination I need.

LOL, all reversed cards again!  Two days in a row.  My focus needs to be on what is not happening, rather than what is happening.  I threw a clarification card, this time with my Legacy Tarot, and threw the Ace of Wands.  Ooooh, Fire!! The Ace of Wands (Leo, “I am,” passionate, dramatic, egotistical, Virgo, “I serve,” practical, analytical, sensible, orderly) tells of the first spark of a new and exciting creative process; I am being told that I need to find within me the courage to light the dark corners, to visualize my goal, and to know I can succeed. The Ace of Wands represents the light or torch that can guide me to success, but in order to access its potential, I need to agree to carry it.

My 6-digit date number on this “21212” day is 8, the number of a focused and deliberate response to the beginning of degeneration that is the number 7 in order to maintain the harmony of the number 6.

My horoscopes: “A number of new people could come your way, Sagittarius, perhaps through projects of some kind with which you're involved. Some of them may appear to be trustworthy and some may not. Today, however, your instincts are highly attuned and you'll be better than usual at sizing up people you don't really know. Make the most of this ability, and don't let logic get in its way. Follow your heart!

And: “You may feel the need to act out aggressively in regards to the climactic period in your life that is going on right now thanks to long-term trends. There is a great expansion of energy today that is encouraging you to take action. There may be opposition in your way, but keep in mind that you have a great deal of strength on your side. The warrior inside you is ready to fight and you have a great deal of fire burning within.

My Shadowscapes Insight is regarding the Seven of Wands.  This card is about protecting what is important to me, and its message is to draw a line in the sand and then stand by it.  The Shadowscapes Companion says, “Do not buckle under a stiff wind, but sway like the bamboo.  Seemingly insurmountable odds can be overcome with faith and courage.” 

Another great beach walk today.  No precipitation; instead the air was cold and the wind was incredibly strong.  I walked into 30 mph-plus sustained winds, and LOL, it was a battle!  But I was dressed for the cold, and was invigorated by the wind.  I did not buckle, but rather continued on, with faith and courage, as described by my Shadowscapes Seven of Wands.

The “Complete Idiot’s Guide to Alchemy” defines Separation as “[a]n operation of alchemy in which useful essences are removed from materials by filtration, sifting, ceration, and chemical binding.”  “Ceration” is the process of adding a liquid by imbibition (surface attraction or wicking) to a solid through the application of heat.  I did a bit of research about chemical binding, and did find a reference explaining that chemical binding (which is about the interactions of molecules with each other or with ions), and chemical bonding (the linking of atoms into molecules) are two different processes.  The process of ligands or peptides inserting themselves into cell wall receptors (which is described in Dr. Candace Pert’s books) would be considered a process of chemical binding.

Okay, I understand this! “Chemical binding” might be a way to describe the workings of the Violet Breath of Reiki, and to explain why the Violet Breath is used during Reiki attunements!  Cool!

The process of personal Separation is described in the Idiot’s Guide as follows: “The operations of Nigredo have broken down your personality into your most basic traits and desires, and during the first stage of the Albedo, you become aware of the pure essences within and isolate them from ego complexes and unwanted subconscious elements.”  Of course, this process is enabled and strengthened through the application of Fire, as heat in the chemical version of the Great Work, and as either a total upset of routine, or a raising of the Kundalini, or both, in the psychological version of the Great Work.  Separation requires decisive action, but that action must be accomplished through the process of perception. 

Action and reaction!

$>

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Seven of Wands reversed/Queen of Wands reversed. The Seven of Wands (Mars, action, spontaneity, aggression, drive, in Leo, “I am,” passionate, dramatic, natural leader, egotistical, selfish), which is a significant card for me in its own right.  In an upright position, this is a card of assertion, of being sure of what I stand for, and going after what I want, but my reversed card is telling me that at least for today, action may not be the best course.  Perhaps the moment is not right, or perhaps I am not to lead the way, but rather to work with a team or allow someone else to determine the path. The Queen of Wands (cusp of Pisces, “I believe,” feelings, duality, soul growth, spirituality, and Aries, “I want,” action oriented, assertive, competitive) is energetic and enthusiastic, gives 100% of herself, and always has a smile on her face.  She decides what she wants, and then she goes out and gets it, another active card.  But my Queen is also reversed, validating the message of the Seven of Wands.  I need to turn the volume down a bit, so that I don’t lose sight of the quieter or softer messages.

My Thoth card is the Three of Cups reversed.  “Abundance” is the keyword for the Three of Cups (Mercury, reason, intelligence, orderliness, communication, in Cancer, “I feel,” sensitive, tenacious, nurturing, moody).  This card is about blessings, but not blessings of the physical world.  It is reminding me that love and connections to others are all I need.  And if I visualize happiness, I will attract it to me!

My Legacy card is the Page of Cups reversed, flavored by the Eight of Coins reversed. The Page of Cups corresponds to Libra (“we are,” partnerships, balance, cooperation), Scorpio (“I desire,” intensity compulsion, mystery) and Sagittarius (“I seek,” philosophic, adventurous, blundering); in an upright position, this Page is very emotional, dreamy, social, and connected to his intuition. Because my Page is reversed, I am being told that feelings and emotions may not be my friends today.  My reversed Page of Cups is being flavored by the reversed Eight of Coins. The Eight of Coins (Sun, the inner core of a person or situation, in Virgo, “I serve,” practical, analytical, sensible, orderly) in an upright position is about taking care of details, working hard, and studying or learning new things, but it is reversed, so I am also being told that I may not be effective if I focus on details.  Okay, then, sounds like I need a quiet day.

All reversed cards! I usually pull a clarification card in this case, and I will use my Llewellyn Welsh Tarot.  The card I threw is The Lovers! The Lovers (Air, hot/separates and wet/adapts, quick and animated, intellectual, problems or challenges; Gemini, “I think,” curious, talkative, sociable, dual; Zayin, double-edged sword; and the Path between Tiphareth, the hub of the creation process where energies harmonize and focus to illuminate and clarify, and Binah, female receptive energy and the origin of form and structure) tells of union and of personal choices.   The Lovers is about duality as well as about unions, and about feelings, but not Watery feelings.  The element associated with this card is Air, so the feelings associated with this card are not related to the physical senses, but rather to the mind and to the spirit.  Here is a worthy focus for me today!

My 6-digit date number is 7, the number that tells of the pause, and the possibility of a crossroad, that appears when growth ends and degeneration begins.

My horoscopes: “Taking the easy way out won't tempt you in the least today, Sagittarius. This isn’t to say that you usually favor this approach, by any means; yet it's safe to say that everyone is tempted from time to time. Not so for you, though, as the planetary aspects are giving you the strength to take all of the necessary steps, however long they may be. Stand your ground if a partner tries to convince you otherwise

And: “When it comes to matters involving love and romance today, you might find that things aren't exactly going the way you might like them to. It could be that you are waiting for your partner to make the next move since you are unsure of which way the relationship is progressing. At the same time, however, it may be that your partner is the one waiting for you. Keep the lines of communication open and stop playing confusing mind games.

My Shadowscapes Insight is regarding the Three of Cups.  I just love this card.  Like The Lovers, this is a card of connections, however these connections are usually not one-on-one, but rather regarding a group.  This card is about friendships, about community, about teams, and about being able to rely on everyone else in the group.  This kind of connection is necessary to us all.

I took a long, absolutely wonderful walk on the beach this afternoon, after spending the morning taking care of Coven responsibilities.  What a glorious day, gray and drizzly and snowy; yep, perfect weather for today.  The sky was gray and overcast, and there was a light breeze that sent the drizzle, sleet and fat snowflakes dancing.  The ocean was calm, at low tide, and the waves gently slid up onto the beach and then receded. 

I was dressed for the weather, so I really enjoyed the cold Winter air and the light breeze.  I walked past shells and rocks, and the foam of the sea.  Out just beyond the breakers, a par of cormorants braved the chilly waters, diving for lunch.  There were two or three gulls sitting out on the far end of each jetty I walked past, as if they were patiently waiting for the tide to come back in.  And the air was heavy with that damp, briny fragrance that I love so much!

I felt cleansed by the cold air, by the sight of the calm sea and the sound of the waves.  I felt strong and serene, despite the unrest in my life of the past few weeks.  And of course, due to my practices of conscious metabolic discipline, my muscles were singing and my energy body was pulsing and warm and clear.

Perhaps I felt this way because of that unrest bombarding me. Everything has been stirred up and turned over, both in my physical world and my spiritual life.  Dust bunnies have been sent scurrying, and I have up-ended my metaphysical backpack, dumping its contents onto the ground.  I’ve gone through it all, discarding the lint and the broken, unidentifiable pieces.  I’ve hefted everything else, one at a time, deciding if each item was worth carrying along with me.  If the answer is yes, the item goes carefully back into my metaphysical backpack.  If the answer is no, the item is left carefully alongside the Path, just in case someone else can make use of it. 

This is the process of the Great Work thus far.  And unless I experienced the recent upheavals, with their tears and anguish and anger and fear, I would not be certain that the choices I had to make were important.  I would not know for certain what was important to me, and what no longer served a purpose in my life.   

This stage is called Separation because that is literally what I am doing.  I have broken everything open, separated the parts, and examined all the contents.  Now I carefully determine what things have survived the chaos of Calcination and the Nigredo Phase intact and still working, and what things have broken or warped under the stresses of these processes.  This takes awareness, this takes the perfect balance of action and reaction, of choosing by becoming aware of the personal essences of those things being considered!

As I sit here before my computer, with a candle burning and the sound of the wind, no longer gentle, as it roars through the trees, I realize this is my goal at least for today.  Finding the perfect balance of action and reaction.

$>

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The Chariot/The Tower.  Eeep!  The Chariot, which corresponds with Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts, and sensitive, emotional and imaginative energy that likes to stay the same or follow the same course), Cancer (“I feel,” sensitive, tenacious, nurturing, moody), Cheth (the fence), and the Path between Geburah (the place where forms and structure are challenged or affirmed) and Binah (female receptive energy and the origin of form and structure), tells of having the control necessary to focus on my goal and steer myself away from distractions. The Tower (Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes, and spontaneous, impulsive, energetic change), Mars (action, spontaneity, aggression, drive), Phe (mouth or speech), and the Path between Hod (which provides analysis and communication) and Netzach (which offers the stimulating factors of emotion and inspiration)), on the other hand, tells of a violent or explosive correction in the way things are going.  Control?  Or out of control?  That is the question.  I guess I need to remember that no matter what happens, I am in control of my reaction.  Hmmm . . . I think that is what I am supposed to be focusing on.

My Thoth card is the Knight of Disks reversed.  The Knight of Disks (cusp of Leo, “I am,” passionate, dramatic, egotistical, and Virgo, “I serve,” practical, analytical, work and service oriented) in an upright position tells of persistence to the point of being stubborn, and caution to the point of being boring. My Knight is reversed, and according to Crowley, this means the caution and persistence of this Knight just may end up not being helpful today.  Perhaps The Fool and the Knight of Cups will convince him to back off, but we actually need a bit of Earthy energy today.

My Legacy card is The Fool, flavored by the Knight of Cups.  The Fool corresponds with Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts, and challenges that tend to require the use of the intellect to solve), Uranus (technology, science, radical change), Aleph (the head, youthful learning) and the Path between Chokmah (male in the electric sense, dynamic energy and the origin of vital force and polarity) and Kether (the source; limitless possibility).  New beginnings and the unexpected, and interestingly enough, The Tower is about unexpected events too. The Knight of Cups (cusp of Aquarius, “I know,” friendships, the group, cause-oriented, and Pisces, “I believe,” feelings, duality, suffering, soul growth), which is flavoring my Fool, is about feeling things strongly, and dreaming.  These two are a powerful combination, and together, they just might be able to accomplish magick!!

My 6-digit date number is 4, the number of depth and stability, with the potential to become stagnation.

My horoscopes: “You might find yourself really interested in getting out and doing something today, Sagittarius. And why not? It can’t be too difficult to phone a few friends and arrange to get together in the evening. Or perhaps you can look in the events page in your local newspaper and see whether a meeting or lecture is taking place that you'd like to attend. Is there a place you've been curious about and wanted to visit? If so, go there today and check it out. Make the best of your time!”

And: “The topic of the day is knowledge and learning. Did you study the field you dreamed of? Do you feel ashamed of not having attended such-and-such a school or program? If those sorts of issues are uppermost on your mind today, remember that your creativity has little to do with the degrees you hold and everything to do with how you use your skills and knowledge to better the world.”

My Shadowscapes Insight is regarding The Star.  Starlight is not bright like the sun, nor does it change the way things appear, like the moon.  There is peace connected to starlight, and soft, safe, dark spaces.  And once the brighter lights are out of our eyes, we can see those things that were hidden from us before.  We can see the answer.

So.  I have broken down the negative energies attached to me, and humbled my ego through the actions of The Tower; I have used the Fire of metabolic discipline to keep the flow of detritus out of my body and my energy field.  I have washed away the detritus and purified my energy body, and delved into the dark, dusty corners of my psyche to determine what has been stored there.  The sludge has been stirred up, the blockages have been opened, and awareness has been activated.

And so, I move on to Separation.  The process of Separation can be seen as a filtration of the waters (into which I have dissolved the ashes of Calcination).  Separation allows me to finally discard the materials from my Shadow that have blocked me or caused me to doubt myself, and to reclaim those parts of myself that are valuable and now cleansed and purified.  Time to sort through things with awareness, and choose what stays and what goes. 

Calcination is about the Dark Night of the Soul, and the pulling of the metaphysical rug out from under my feet so that I am forced to look at things in a different way.  Dissolution is about metabolic discipline.  Separation asks me to use my breath in order to better connect to my spirit, vitalize my energy body and renew my physical body.  Separation asks me to rediscover my unique essence, and to reconnect with the dreams that my Talking Self discarded.  It is quite important for me to remember here that I cannot judge myself and still progress through this process of Separation.

No self judgment!

$>

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

King of Swords/The Magician reversed. The King of Swords (cusp of Capricorn, “I build,” ambitious, cautious, cunning, authoritative, and Aquarius, “I know,” friendships, the group, cause-oriented, aloof) is a good judge of people and situations, and is good at articulating those judgments. The Magician corresponds with Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts, and quick and animated energy which usually presents problems or challenges), Mercury (reason, intelligence, orderliness, communication), Beth (house; builder) and the Path between Binah (female, receptive energy and the origin of form and structure) and Kether (the source, limitless possibility); he takes action with confidence and is willing to work hard to manifest his goals. My Magician is reversed today, and perhaps he is validating the traits of the King of Swords, who uses intellect rather than action to manifest his goals.

My Thoth card is The Universe.  Oooh, nice card! The Universe/World, which corresponds with Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes, and material, stable and practical energy that is slow to change), Saturn (discipline, responsibility, limitations and resistance), Thav (mark or sign), and the Path between Malkuth (the physical world of action and physical, outer reality) and Yesod (the place where patterns and images emerge that may manifest into the physical world), is a card of integration and involvement and understanding.  Crowley sees this card as representing the crystallization of the entire issue at hand.  It can represent a bit of a lul or delay, which is normal at the end of one stage and lasts until the next stage begins.ß

My Legacy card is The Empress, flavored by the Seven of Wands. Wow! Powerful pair! The Empress (which corresponds with Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes, and stable, material, practical energies that are slow to change), Venus (beauty, allure, pleasure, relationships), Daleth (door or womb) and the Path between Binah (female receptive energy and the origin of form and structure) and Chokmah (dynamic male energy and the origin of vital force and polarity)) is reversed for me today, and so I am being reminded that focusing on pleasing the senses and on achieving material reward may not be productive. Seven of Wands (Mars, action, spontaneity, aggression, drive, in Leo, “I am,” passionate, dramatic, natural leader, egotistical, selfish), is about physical world abundance of all kinds, abundance that is free-flowing and that pleases the senses.  My Empress is being flavored by the Seven of Wands (Mars, action, spontaneity, aggression, drive, in Leo, “I am,” passionate, dramatic, natural leader, egotistical, selfish), which is a significant card for me in its own right.  This is a card of assertion, of being sure of what I stand for, and going after what I want.  Earth (The Empress) and Fire (the suit of Wands) are friendly with each other, so the passionate confidence of the Seven of Wands is telling me to enjoy!

My Pearls of Wisdom Full Moon card is the Ten of Swords reversed. The Ten of Swords (the Sun, the inner core of a person or situation, in Gemini, “I think,” curious, sociable, dual, talkative) is a card of interference, powerlessness and restriction, completely manifested.  The card is reversed, however,

My 6-digit date number is 3, the number of new creation from the potential of the Ace and the balance, polarity and understanding of “distance between” of the 2.

My horoscopes: “See about using your good relationships with friends and loved ones today to get some group activities going, Sagittarius. Chances are you'll feel pretty good and the idea of socializing will appeal to you. See about inviting people over for supper or a game of cards. If you're especially lively, some sports may be just the ticket to get you out and moving. Do whatever it takes to have some fun and get some fresh air today.

And: “If there's something interesting that you've been wanting to get involved with, this is a great day for it. Adventure brings excitement, creative flow and energy to you; and as a Sagittarian, these are essential. Yours is often a highly artistic nature and continual stimulation is required to keep your psyche healthy. Make a point to experience something new today - even if it's a walk in an uncharted place to you, it'll bring the adrenaline you need.

My Shadowscapes Insight is regarding the Knight of Pentacles again!  The Knight in the image on this card has eyes only for his goals.  All around him are the spirits of the woods, hidden in the leaves and the bark of the trees and in the grasses and bushes around the Knight, but he does not see any of them.  Nothing can distract him from his task; like the roots of a great tree that can crack and crumble boulders over time, he inexorably manifests his goal.

Today must have been raptor day in Bergen County.  While walking this afternoon, I saw a coopers hawk, two turkey vultures and a red tailed hawk.  Cool!  Almost as many raptors as in Cape May.

I’ve been thinking more about Dissolution.  I visualized a glass of water, and then I dumped a spoon full of sugar into my visualized glass of water, and then stirred briskly.  Everything spun, and most of the sugar became combined with the water.  But a few bits of “non-sugar” settled to the bottom.  Okay, this visualization is the process of Dissolution.  The “ashes” that are left after the Nigredo Phase and Calcination are “reconstituted” by adding liquid back into the ashes.  The stuff that dissolves into the water must be emotions that work for me, that are “real” to me, that have an effect on me.  They can “flavor” my life.  They are reconstituted back by the addition of the water.  What is left is the stuff that sinks to the bottom of that visualized glass.  It does not dissolve, so it cannot affect me. 

What is happening here is the next step, called Separation!

$>

Monday, February 6, 2012

Ten of Swords/The Lovers reversed. The Ten of Swords (the Sun, the inner core of a person or situation, in Gemini, “I think,” curious, sociable, dual, talkative) is a card of interference and restriction, completely manifested.  And I am choosing to see this “completely manifested” as meaning “done.”  Time to start a new cycle of working with the intellect.  The Lovers (Air, hot/separates and wet/adapts, quick and animated, intellectual, problems or challenges; Gemini, “I think,” curious, talkative, sociable, dual; Zayin, double-edged sword; and the Path between Tiphareth, the hub of the creation process where energies harmonize and focus to illuminate and clarify, and Binah, female receptive energy and the origin of form and structure) in an upright position tells of union and of personal choices.  My card is reversed, and this could be telling me of a time of isolation, but that could very well be needed.

My Thoth card is The Seven of Cups reversed.  “Debauch” reversed is the keyword for the upright Seven of Cups (Venus, beauty, allure, relationships, in Scorpio, “I desire,” intense, controlling, obsessive, mysterious) which represents the distraction and dissipation that happens when we have too many options.  Because my Seven of Cups is reversed, I could very well be able to connect to my feelings today, as well as my emotional needs.

My Legacy card is Faith/The Hierophant reversed, flavored by The Emperor. Faith corresponds with Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes), Taurus (“I have,” sensual, cautious, stubborn), Vau (the nail which holds tradition in place), and the Path between Chesed (the place where forms and structures are stabilized and nurtured), and Chokmah (dynamic male energy, the origin of vital force and polarity), and it is an Earth card that has a heavy feel about it, a feeling of needing to fit into specific slots, but because my Faith card is reversed, I am being told that perhaps I need to find my own slot rather than trying to fit into the ones provided.  My Faith card is being flavored by The Emperor, which is a Fire card (hot/separates and dry/shapes, and spontaneous, impulsive, energetic change) that corresponds with the astrological sign of Aries (“I want,” action oriented, assertive, competitive) and the Hebrew letter Heh (window, illumination).  This is a card of confidence and authority; it is about being ethical and just, and it is also about taking the lead and manifesting into the physical world what I have learned.  My Emperor is flavoring my reversed Faith card, and this does make sense.  Faith is about traditions and culture and the group; The Emperor is about being a leader, and a leader acts on her own.  She leads the group, but she also makes decisions for the group, in the name of the group, for the highest good of the group.

My 6-digit date number is 11 (Archangel Uriel), which reduces further to 2, the number of balance, polarity and the concept of distance between.

My horoscopes: “Don't judge someone if he or she has a different lifestyle than what you consider to be OK, Sagittarius. You probably lean toward the traditional, yet not everyone feels this way about relationships, working, or lifestyle. While it may seem impossible to understand and even frighten you, try not to be too harsh on those you deem odd. You'd be better off using that energy to keep your own life on track.”

And: “Follow your instincts before anything else. Even if you have a tendency to listen more to your sense of reason and thought, put it aside. While your ears can hear words, your instincts and intuition can hear what's between the lines and provide you with a much bigger picture than what's being presented. Even if everything sounds right but feels wrong, you'd be better to trust the feelings. Act with careful consideration and caution.”

My Shadowscapes Insight is regarding the Knight of Pentacles.  The goal is there before me, and I need to keep my eyes on it, the same way that this Knight of Pentacles keeps his eye on his goal.  This Knight knows what to do and he won’t allow himself to be distracted.  Is this good?  That is the question.

I had a wonderful meditation today.  I began by bringing my awareness to Danu’s Well.  She was there, waiting for me.  She let me know that she was aware of the difficulties I have faced of late.  And She let me know that She appreciated my efforts to overcome them.  Finally, She offered me some advice.  She said, “You have learned to act, to take action, with confidence in yourself and in your own judgment and validity.  Now, you need to re-learn how to react.  In order to react, you must be able to perceive.  And so, your task is to re-learn how to perceive, using your more learned senses.”  Wow. 

I can clearly see how this relates to my current focus, Dissolution.  Perceptions are feelings, and feelings are emotions, and emotions are connected to Water.  And Danu is helping me to explore this!

As I went for my walk this afternoon, I was drawn to return to the astral Ancient Altar.  I arrived at the top of the stairs as usual, took off my clothes and folded them neatly, and then lit the fire.  As I prepared to cast my circle and evoke the quarters, I thought for a bit about how comfortable this entire process had become for me.  No script, no tools, just me, my body and my energy field. 

As always, I called the Watchers and my Elemental Guides, and then Deity.  Goddess and God graced me with Their presence.  And I opened myself to Their energies.  My conduits to the information highway high above me were strong, and as I stood there, open to any messages, I felt a cord attach to my crown chakra; once it had entered my chakra, it pulsed with life. 

And then, suddenly, my heart chakra opened wide.  The back end of the chakra began to emit smoke, cloudy dark smoke; suddenly, I felt my insides get sucked out the vortex of my chakra and erupt out the back of my body.  My skin soon followed.

It has been a long, long time since I have lost my skin within a meditation.  What remained, the “body” that remained, was pristine, with no hair, no marks.  For a long moment, and for the first time in a while, I experienced my physical body as if it had just been born.  And then, hair grew, a bit grayer than before, and I felt my body become in an accelerated fashion what it was before the meditation began.

With one exception.  My senses seemed heightened, the way your fingertips feel after you rub them briskly across a rough surface.  The light was different, I could feel my clothes on my body and smell the fragrances in the air.  Was I being given a bit of extra help with the task that Danu has given me? 

I proceeded to say farewell to Deity, and released my quarters and ended the meditation.  Tomorrow, I will return to my work with Dissolution.

$>

Friday, February 3, 2012

Ace of Swords/The High Priestess.  The Ace of Swords (Capricorn, “I build,” ambition, caution authority, cunning, Aquarius and Pisces, “I believe,” feeling, duality, soul growth, artistic) tells me that I should be making the effort to be objective today, and I should exercise my Will in order to overcome adversity, with justice to all my first consideration.  The High Priestess (Water; the Moon, feelings and emotions, illusion, imagination; Gimel, the camel who safely crosses Da’ath, the Abyss, and thus, has the secret of life; and the Path between Tiphareth, the hub of the creation process where energies harmonize and focus to illuminate and clarify, and Kether, the source, limitless possibility), is the source of the power of The Magician, the feminine version of The Hierophant, and the Keeper of the Mysteries.  She tells me that silence and patience will be useful tools today, and that most of the answers to any question that present themselves will be found within me.  I need to look beyond the obvious, and I do have the ability to see clearly and to understand what I’m seeing.  Hmmm . . . might be a good day to ponder my own truth.

My Thoth card is the Six of Wands.  “Victory” The Six of Wands (Jupiter, expansiveness and growth, justice, fortune, in Leo, “I am,” passionate, dramatic, noble, authoritative) expresses the celebration we feel when we have passed some test.  This is not an ending card, so the cycle is not yet complete, but today I may feel I’ve accomplished enough to be able to lean on my own abilities rather than looking to others for support and protection.  For a little while at least, I can rest on my own laurels and bask in my own glow.  But this is not a permanent situation.

My Legacy card is the Knight of Wands reversed, flavored by The Fool reversed.  The Knight of Wands (cusp of Scorpio, “I desire,” intense, controlling, deep, obsessive, and Sagittarius, “I seek,” philosophic, fun-loving, blundering) is a person of passion, courage, enthusiasm and boundless energy.  My Knight is reversed today, and so I need to be careful that my enthusiasm does not blind me to good sense.  The Fool corresponds with Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts, and challenges that tend to require the use of the intellect to solve), Uranus (technology, science, radical change), Aleph (the head, youthful learning) and the Path between Chokmah (male in the electric sense, dynamic energy and the origin of vital force and polarity) and Kether (the source; limitless possibility).  Upright, he tells of new beginnings and of the unexpected, but since The Fool is reversed, he is kind of validating that warning regarding the reversed Knight he is flavoring.  Today, there is a danger of making foolhardy decisions, thanks to my reversed Fool, and that Knightly enthusiasm could be like pouring gasoline on a fire. 

My 6-digit date number is 8, the focused and conscious response to the pause and beginning of degeneration of the number 7, in order to maintain the harmony of the number 6.

My horoscopes: “You may be anxious to fit things in your life into pigeonholes, Sagittarius. When it comes to matters of love and romance, this may be hard to do, especially on a day like today. Call upon your pioneering spirit to seek something new and not limit yourself to what you originally had in mind. Perhaps there is something bigger and better waiting for you. You’ll only find it if you dare to accept something outside the norm.”

And: “The influence of your mother may be on your mind today. Your mother is likely to have a tremendous effect on how you think, act, and feel both in the past and in the present. For every sign, there is an opposite sign. For you, Sagittarius, your opposite sign is Gemini. If your mother is your opposite sign, conflict and misunderstanding can happen more easily. Take the time to learn about her sign today to help you understand her and the relationship you have.”

My Shadowscapes Insight is regarding the Ace of Cups. This card represents the first stirrings of intimacy, emotions and feelings.  As that first ripple expands, the force or effect of feelings and emotions will become more and more apparent.  But even now, they can be perceived, if I look for them with awareness.

What a difference a week makes!  I am moving along nicely within the Great Work and its efforts at self-understanding.  I am still keeping the metabolic discipline of the Nigredo Phase and the Calcination process a part of each day.  I have been doing my stretches each morning, and I have finally brought some Yoga back into my morning routine.  I have been walking each day as well.  I have been making use of my neutral zone, created through the process of Dissolution; it is a great place to mull things over in silence, without outside interference.  I feel more grounded yet more alert and ready, and I think that part of this is because I am more connected to my responsibilities and efforts both in the physical world and through my spiritual growing and learning process.  Talk about Spring cleaning!

I am also thinking quite a bit about the revelations I received from my Younger Self during that meditation last week.  I have been reminded through that meditation that focusing on negative or uncomfortable events of the past ends up empowering them, feeding them so that they can live on.  Mind you, there is nothing wrong with revisiting an old would to make certain that we have learned what we needed to learn from it, and to make certain that there are no lingering ill effects attached to that memory.  But owning that memory (which is what we do when we allow the memory something that is over and done, and unchangeable, to affect us now in an unproductive way) means that we are giving it validity.  We are in effect accepting that judgment presented by another person, and becoming that judgment. 

When we examine these kinds of issues, we do need to look at them in detail and we do need to acknowledge the feelings elicited by the memory, but we can’t become those feelings.  If we do that, we are offering new life to something that should be a dried up husk. 

I think this concept applies to good thoughts and feelings as well.  Don’t get me wrong, we should enjoy good feelings and we should be pleased and excited when we experience success.  But we can’t become those instances, because they will end up a necessary part of our continued success.  This is kind of like becoming dependent on one particular athame in order to cast a sacred circle or direct energy, or on one particular pendant in order to connect with Deity.  If we lose that athame or that pendant, we will be totally stuck because our entire process of connection with those energies or that Deity is dependent upon that one individual tool. 

Please note that this is different from the storing of feelings of validation in the core worth anchor.  That storage of powerful feelings and emotions as a positive reinforcement is accomplished totally by my own visualizations, and is not dependent on any other entity, person, thing or object. 

I like this kind of progress!

$>