Page of Wands/Six of Pentacles. Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes) of Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes), and another Earth card. The Page of Wands is about getting results through action, and about the feeling of optimism for the future that is the byproduct of these actions. The Six of Pentacles is a great card to be here alongside the Page of Wands, for it tells of the potential for the integration of the other three elements into the physical realms, thus bringing Balance and fulfillment!

My Thoth card is the Queen of Disks. Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts) of Earth, and the ability to make good decisions regarding resources. But these decisions will not be rushed; instead they will be sensible and well thought out, for owning material wealth means nothing unless that wealth can nourish us.

My Legacy card is the Ten of Swords. This card tells of an overreliance on logic. Even though Swords represent the element of Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts), too much of the corresponding logic can end up producing ruin. Remember what happens when you fly too high: your wings melt and you plummet to the ground! The situation hinted at by this Ten is many times self-created; this means that if I work on being aware, things will only get better from here.

My 6-digit date number is 5, movement that upsets stability in order to prevent stagnation.

My horoscope: “It can be hard to release old habits and beliefs even as new, better ways of thinking struggle to gain a foothold. It's time for you to do this, Sagittarius. You might find it difficult to confide your feelings to another, but a frank conversation with close friends will do much to ease your mind. There's no question that you're changing. Your friends will show you that this transformation is positive.”

**smile** Yep, I would love to just hide, but that would only prolong this period of upheaval that I am striving to see as transformation. Yes, the full moon is nearly upon us, but I am trying to see the discomforts of the past weeks which seem to be coming to a head as a time of darkness, when the dimmest of stars, otherwise blotted out by the light, can be seen and experienced. I am trying to make my frustration at that darned scale needle which is obstinately staying stationary and not moving downward, and the body aches that have never happened to me before after strenuous or prolonged activity, and the end of my job of the past 13 years, and the pain of dealing with an issue between myself and my husband, all into spiritually connected learning opportunities. None of these events and effects lend themselves to a spiritually aware response. Instead, my first instinct is to want to be crabby and angry, and to impose my own desires on others.

You can never determine if you have courage unless you are put into a situation that makes you afraid. Fear is not an emotion that can be created at will (LOL, unless I go and stand at the edge of the roof of a tall building somewhere), and neither is love. I must have the love challenged in order to truly plumb its depths. I must lose my job in order to find out if I can truly create my own business, no matter how much I say I want to do this. I must change my eating habits and exercise routines over the long term in order to have a lasting effect on my body and its health. So far, there just is no other way to be successful. Part of me wishes that all of these concepts did not need to be tested at the same time, but another part of me is willing to determine just how much I have learned over the past seven years.

I even had my pride in the plans I have put together shaken a bit, by a relative making light of them even though this relative had no idea what the things I am striving toward actually consist of. It is amazing how the slightly derisive laughter of someone can shrink you down, even though in my mind I do know that this relative is made uncomfortable by effects that cannot be directly and easily controlled. This relative’s laughter has caused me to rethink for a moment (a moment only) whether my current goals are worthy. They are worthy; I do know this and in part their worthiness was confirmed by this discomfort caused by the laughter. Perhaps it is time that I receive this kind of test; in the past, everyone has pretty much supported my efforts and the doubts originated within me. Time for them to come from a source that I cannot control, and my only power in this case is to control my response, to choose my response.

Speaking of exercise, I have really been focusing on getting my body back into shape. I am finally experiencing that nice buzz of endorphins that happens when I feel I have a grasp on my body and am making progress toward strength and flexibility. Cernunnos told me this weekend that this is the very feeling He wants me to associate with Him. He wants me to maintain a strong awareness to how my body feels this week, for my dedication to Him is approaching. As is my ritual with Mystery.

Helen has a Yoga class in Cape May and a Yoga class in Philly, and both studios are interested in the other disciplines Sukha has to offer!! I am feeling optimistic, more and more optimistic, but both of us are doing our homework and making preparations. LOL, we don’t just want our heads in the clouds, we also want our feet on the ground. Sounds like today’s cards are validating this notion.

This is going to be quite the Transformative week!!

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