Knight of Pentacles reversed/Five of Swords reversed. In an upright position, the Knight of Pentacles is about a focus on resource allocation, understanding cause and effect and achieving tangible results. Those things are not easily accessed today, but the card is there, so those focuses are present as well. The Five of Swords in an upright position represents the imposition of Will and mental focus in order to achieve wants, needs or desires, to the point of possibly crossing the line between ethical and unethical behavior; because the card is reversed, I will most likely be able to stay away from that dividing line today by not focusing on imposing my Will upon a situation. Today will not be a day of resolution, but since the energies are there, although they are blocked, I may be able to identify the issue.

My Thoth card is The Empress reversed. Whoa, Major Arcana cards two days in a row, ant this one supports The Hermit of yesterday. The Empress in an upright position corresponds with Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes), Venus (beauty, pleasure, eroticism), Daleth (door or womb), and the Path between Tiphareth (the hub of the creation process where energies harmonize and focus to illuminate and clarify) and Kether (the source, limitless possibility); she is about the senses and the enjoyment of the physical world through the senses, and about the creation that happens as a manifestation of that enjoyment. Because she is reversed, she is telling me to look within myself to understand those effects rather than looking outward at the catalyst of those effects: the physical world. She is also reminding me that I cannot allow myself to become drunk on those pleasures, for while her motto of life according to Uncle Al is “love and let love; rejoice in every shape of love, and get thy rapture and thy nourishment thereof,” she is reversed today, and thus the imbalance of the manifesting of this motto, either through too much or too little of its energy, is a focus for the day.

My Legacy card is the Three of Cups, flavored by the Page of Wands reversed. The Three of Cups is about emotional connections, emotional abundance, and the ability to enjoy and share those bounties. The Page of Wands in an upright position is about attraction, excitement, optimism, and about getting results through assertion and action; since the Page is reversed, I am being told that assertion and action will not be easily accessed today in order to enjoy and share my emotional bounties.

My 6-digit date number is 11 (Archangel Uriel, and by association, challenging and possibly uncomfortable realizations), which reduces to 2, the number of Balance and distance.

My horoscopes: “Your sensual side is likely to show itself today, Sagittarius. You might find yourself viewing young folks in tight jeans more appreciatively than you usually do. Racy novels and movies might also suddenly seem appealing. Romantic encounters are intense and passionate, so make sure you allow plenty of time for them. Enjoy yourself!”

And: “There's never been a time when you haven't been at least thinking about travel. It could be that you just saw 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and now you need to see the Chinese wilderness, or maybe you caught a glimpse of the Eiffel Tower in an old classic movie. You need to wait a bit before you make any plans -- as long as you want it to go well!”

And: “It could be that you have been riding a high wave lately, and that things have been naturally going your way for the last few months. Long-term trends are definitely in your favor. You may find that today, however, there is some sort of practical, grounded force which is reminding you that you, too, are mortal, and that you need to touch ground once in a while to reconnect with the details of your plans.”

Lots of reversed cards today. Interesting that the only card not reversed is the Three of Cups. Water is the active flow, while Fire, Air and Earth are passive.

Yesterday, I was warned by my Patroness, Danu, that something powerful and beneficial would cross my path yesterday; this warning to be alert was supported by my Guide, Ailm, when she and I connected as always, during my morning meditation/chakra balance/Reiki application. I remembered this alert/warning all day, and kept my eyes open, but it was not until last night that I realized exactly what “next step up the ladder of enlightenment” had been presented to me. That next step came to me through the catalyst of an email from Mystery last night regarding the need for both of us to find some mutually acceptable manifestation in the physical world of the unique, so far non-physical connection that we share through our magickal partnership.

Mystery was right to bring this up at this time. As predicted by our Guides and our Deities, our collaborations are bringing both of us into uncharted waters, and we need to attempt to understand the power of our partnership, and find a way to manifest that power for ourselves and each other. I thought about this all last night, trying to come up with an answer, and I really sense that we are on the verge of some big realization (although I can't get any clue as to what it is). In my usual meticulous fashion, the first thing I needed to do was define exactly our ingredients, at least from my perspective. Something connected with us, way back when I was responding to Mystery’s First Degree homeworks. Because she has the memories of the past lives in which we connected, she recognized right away exactly what that initial recognition of each other consisted of. I still don't have most of those memories, but I have come to believe that I am not supposed to have them. One of us is not to have those clear and detailed memories for an important reason.

So, here is what I crystallized through my winding thought process. Knowing Mystery and interacting with her, even early on when our interactions were solely through emails regarding homeworks, has been a major ingredient in my deepening my connection to my personal energy field, and thus, to all of my senses. LOL, from her perspective, this is more of a re-awakening for me of something that has been dormant thus far in this lifetime, rather than a new discovery. This deepening/re-awakening has happened not because of the similar focuses that we share, but rather because of the different focuses (and different memories) that we don't share, and our efforts to reconcile those differences in a way that does not cause harm to either of us.

What do I mean by this? Within the energy patterns that are similar, there is no resistance. Those are the peaceful and healing energy flows, and they are good. LOL, you need pleasure of some kind to be able to activate the Law of Opposites and thus, begin to understand the “discomfort” (but not bad discomfort) that happens within the resistance that occurs when two differing or opposing energy flows come together. Where and what are our major differences? They lie within memories (the detailed memories that Mystery has of our past alliances, of which I only have a few) and sensations (the way each of our brains interpret certain sensations and our responses to those sensations as sexual or sensual).

Therein lies the issue, the conflict, or the potential blockage. Now, I don’t necessarily see issues, conflicts or blockages as a bad thing. In some circumstances they are bad, but in other circumstances they serve to test the connection and thus, to make it stronger. To me, that is one result we will experience as we search for a method of manifestation and fulfillment that is acceptable to us both.

LOL, so where am I heading with this? As soon as I started to set my energy field up for my Tarot throws of the day, once again I instantly felt Danu, but this time I also got a huge wave of Mystery’s energy. In typical Mystery fashion, it roared over me like a wave, awakening every cell in my body and every electron in my energy field. I was given an opportunity to really “see” and begin to categorize my brain’s understanding of our combined energy fields.

I felt my own energy and aura mixed with hers as a syrupy, soft and silky flow; I have felt this energy before within our dedication ritual and our other workings but this time it was strong. Every one of my senses experienced this energy: my third eye saw it as a silvery flow filled with gold sparkles; my ears heard it as it flowed and eddied, the way a wave sounds as it flows over a thick patch of pebbles; I could smell it, the way a rainstorm smells on a particularly dry and low humidity day; I could feel it, the way water feels like silk on the skin when you skinny dip at night. Every one of my chakras opened, and there was a two-way flow into and out of my Core Value Anchor. Deep within me, my Hara Point became heavy, and leaned against my womb.

Aha!! There it was!! That not-quite-sexual-pleasure-but-very-much-sensual-pleasure, that very-hard-to-categorize-effect, of the pooling and ponding of a large amount of personal energy!! I am feeling this as intense sensuality because all of my senses are involved in experiencing the effects of the energy flow, and I am feeling this as “almost sexual” energy because my Core Value Anchor and my Hara Point are leaning on my womb. Because I have done a great deal of research about and work with my energy field as I researched Sacred Movement and Thai Massage, and because my Patron has directed me to intensify this energy work over the past seven months to prepare for and increase my manifestation of my dedication to Him, I am not categorizing this energy “weight” on my womb as sexual, but as “almost sexual” (and that term makes perfect sense to me, but may not make sense to anyone else).

So, now that I better understand what is happening inside of me (and thus, what is happening inside of Mystery), the next step is to (*crosses fingers*) deal with our dilemma. In this lifetime, we are both heterosexual women, both married to men who are able to please us. Sex and sensual pleasures are both a large part of our lives (both our physical lives and our magickal lives, for both of us practice sex magick), but neither one of us is interested in sex with another woman. The intensity of our energy connection (which began intense, and has grown and continues to grow through our workings and through the preparations of those workings) brings a mental response, an emotional response and a spiritual response within our physical bodies somewhere within the almost sexual -- intensely sexual range. We both feel the need to manifest and memorialize all this energy; and since we both are feeling the need to meet face to face, we will most certainly experience some heavy stuff when that day comes.

I believe that we will not find a final solution until we meet in the physical world, or at least we won’t be able to test any possible solution with 100% certainty until then. But I will say this much: that moment is going to pack a wallop. If just setting the intention in my mind of finding some way to physically manifest this energy has brought this incredible increase in the connection between us (kind of like experiencing a Reiki attunement), meeting in person is going to be a memorable experience. Once again, more than either of us can anticipate, and we have been told this will continue to happen by our own Patrons and Patronesses.

I am believing that the solution will come to us through a collaboration of efforts (which has worked in the past for us). That is why I am documenting my thoughts with such detail. I may have to do a little research, and coincidentally (or maybe not coincidentally), last night I purchased an awesome book, “The Subtle Body: An Encyclopedia of Your Energetic Anatomy” by Cyndi Dale, which will be my first research source. LOL, I have a few other ideas, too, as far as potential sources of information.

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