Knight of Swords reversed/Page of Wands. The Knight of Swords is a confident person who will use any means necessary to accomplish his goal, without allowing compassion or pity to cloud his judgment. I am being told today that I should *not* be this Knight, nor should I allow his influences, should they appear within my day, to have an effect on me. Instead, I should allow myself to be filled with a passion for life, for living, and for the experiences brought to me through the day, even if (or maybe because) I do not understand them.

My Thoth card is the Four of Cups. Crowley calls this card “Luxury” and sees its energies as the Lord of Pleasure. Allowing an indulgence in pleasure is all well and good, as long as I remember the tendency of being sated to morph into stagnation.

My horoscope: “‘Expect the unexpected’ is your current mantra, and a very wise one at that. Some conflicting celestial energies cause a hoo-hah that needs your wise and discerning eye. These energies aren't all just sturm und drang, however -- they're also bringing about some pretty significant (and welcome) life changes. Get your financial ducks in a row before the shakedown begins, and you'll be sitting pretty.” And: “You should find that you have an extra amount of creative energy at this time, dear Sagittarius, and you should do what you can to make this force work for you. There is a time and space for everything, and now is the time to work together with your higher self to channel some of the artist within you. Don't let your self-doubt keep you from using the creative force that is brewing inside you.”

This is the second day in a row that one of my horoscopes has mentioned the potential of a reward for the hard work and the tightening of belts that has been the rule of the day of late. Maybe things are finally starting to turn around for us. *crosses fingers

I had an interesting experience yesterday. I felt a little off when I woke up yesterday morning, not sick or tired or anything like that, but just different in some way. Nothing unusual besides that strange feeling occurred at first, but I found that during the day I would occasionally notice a similar effect to the other day, when I stepped outside at lunch and for a moment felt like there was another layer of awareness or perception over what I was seeing with my physical eyes. This time, however, the effect that I experienced was not overlaid onto all that I was seeing; rather, it was being selectively applied to specific items/entities within my field of vision. Also, this time the effect did not cease once I noticed it, and instead seemed to strengthen and solidify with my awareness. For instance, at lunch, while I was walking down the stairs I noticed this effect had appeared over the sight of two girls who were walking down the stairs before me. I focused on the effect and locked into it, and realized that I could see their auras, stretching more than a foot from their bodies, and I was able to maintain my connection to their auras as we continued down the flights of stairs.

The most dramatic experiences were while I was driving to my dance class last night. I noticed several instances where objects that I see all the time appeared suddenly different in some way, different enough to catch my eye and put me on alert although my eyes could find no obvious differences. The setting sun was riveting, and every time I looked at it as I drove to Butler, I tried to figure out what was different from any other sunset that I had watched, without success. It reached the point where it seemed that I was feeling the rays of the sun and the solar wind pressing against my chest, with the same kind of warm pressure that I experienced when Uriel touched me. I passed a grove of trees that created a dark patch of shade, and suddenly that particular patch of darkness beneath that particular grove of trees seemed to pop out, and I could not help but remember the time that Cernunnos told me that He was in the shadows beneath the trees. I passed a stream that glistened silver in the ambient light, shaded in part by overhanging branches; that silver light reflecting on the dappled surface of the stream popped out at me. My words are not adequately describing what I was experiencing, and this is quite frustrating to document, but I can still see that sun and that moon later in the evening, and feel the effects they had on me.

As I drove to my class, I tried to figure out what was happening. I really felt that the difference in perception was caused by the fact that for some reason I had become super-aware of the energy signature or pattern of those particular items. This “seeing” or “awareness” or “perception” had nothing to do with my physical senses. No, that is not correct, in reality my physical eyes and their ability to see were acting as vehicles for this awareness. I am a physical being after all, that exists primarily in the physical world, so any perception that I have or gain of other realms would be tied to the physical world and my physical senses. Especially in the beginning, as I am first experiencing this kind of perception, and adding the experiences regarding this kind of perception to my personal “pattern catalogue” that will enable me to recognize this perception when it happens again, and maybe even enable me to initiate it, physical sight may very well be a necessary part of these incidences, at least until I better understand this ability.

I realized that I was “feeling” (for lack of a better word) the sun, feeling it along my shoulders and across my heart, but not feeling the pressure on my skin but rather feeling something within me. The shadows beneath the grove of trees I felt as well, but in the area of my navel, and the silver light on the water I seemed to feel along my forehead. Each of these sensations was different; the sun felt warm, the shadows felt heavy but with an ambient temperature, and the silver light on the water seemed to expand as I touched it with my awareness, and was slightly cool.

Later, as I drove home, I was blessed with the gorgeous sight of the nearly full moon, its edges softened to a creamy glow by the humidity in the air, and once again I felt an effect, but this one seemed to be occurring within my brain and my mind and my awareness. I connected with the unknown, and for once I reveled in its beauty and mystery, rather than trying to understand its source. For once I did not need to know why or how or when, but rather I accepted with joy and serenity the fact that sometimes we are not meant to know and understand the causes. We are only meant to surrender to the effects.

I woke this morning with a headache, as if I had a hangover. Maybe I did have a hangover, an “energy awareness” hangover. I am excited to see what comes next.

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