Six of Cups reversed/The High Priestess. Okay, this Six is turning up quite a bit of late. And The High Priestess!! Funny that she shows up right now. The Six of Cups not only refers to a balanced and serene joy, but it also tells us that a major part of that joy is made up of whatever it was that got me to this place and this time. I seem to be forgetting to value my experiences, for the gifts of the present and the possibilities of the future are all alive because of what I remember. And I don’t necessarily need to understand why this is so; sometimes we need to have a drop or two of the unknown added to the mix in order to be able to view and understand each facet separately, yet balance the entire concept. I am also being told that the voice of my Shadow is important today.

My Thoth card for today is the Seven of Swords reversed. In an upright position this card represents “Futility,” and the passive nature of the Moon. Unlike the Four of Swords, where the pause is chosen in order to benefit from the effect, the Seven of Swords seems to feel like it is nearly out of gas and is wondering whether the efforts involved in obtaining a refill will be worth it. Thankfully, the card is reversed; I may find that I feel as if I am walking against the tide today, but the destination will be worth the effort to get there.

My horoscopes: “Information received through modern communication systems such as faxes, email, or the Internet might make it possible for you to change your job, your residence, or at least the way you think or operate, Nancy. You might be feeling a bit nervous and jumpy at the prospect, but you'll pull it off all right. Don't be afraid to go with the flow and make changes today. This is only one hurdle in the course of your personal development.”

And: “More than likely, you will be caught up in a wildly intense emotional drama if you aren't careful, dear Sagittarius. Try to stay calm and collected. Find a quiet place where you can relax and be alone. Your energy is there, but it may be a bit more reserved and subtle on a day like this. Be the stable oasis in the raging sea. Make peace with the people around you.”

And my favorite one today: “Things are only seeming tougher than normal at work because you feel like you are stuck in place, and the powers that be aren't listening. You will break out of this current rut soon enough, but that can't be fast enough for you. Recent turns of events may have left you feeling a little rough, but in some way, they will be responsible for the fulfillment of a wish that you've had for some time.”

Okay, I think I will ground often today.

My second Fire Bird meditation was somewhat similar to my first. I had no trouble finding the entry into the meadow, and I ended up back in that one spot where I had flattened down the grass in order to see. This time, it was not noon, but rather early in the morning, and quiet. The nighttime crickets had gone to bed and the daytime insects were just waking up. I lay on my back in the grass, watching as the tips of the strands of grass were kissed by the rays of the sun still low in the sky, but I was still immersed in the shadowy twilight at the base of the grasses.

And there she was, circling high overhead. I lay there, watching as the Fire Bird circled lower and lower, and suddenly she cocked her wings and dove downward, landing by my right side. She stood still for a bit, and we looked into each other’s eyes. Then, I looked at her plumage; her yellow-orange feathers were actually tipped in an iridescent red; how lovely. I reached out and gently ran my fingers down her breast, and when she did not nip at me, I petted her soft feathers with more confidence. I remembered how my macaw used to love having the back of his neck scratched, so I slowly moved my fingers upward. To my delight, as I gently scratched her neck, she lowered her head and raised up her feathers to allow me easy access. Her eyes blinked slowly for several minutes as she enjoyed herself, but then she backed a way, and nudged me, encouraging me to get up.

Like last time, the Fire Bird began leading me through the tall grasses, the tops of which were wet with dew. Once again, I broke out of the grasses just as I ran out of strength, and ended up in the same place as last time: the quiet, rocky beach with the still, mirror-like water, lavender sky and two moons. Again, I was alone. I waited, looking around, but no one appeared. I looked down, and saw no footprints on the sand at all, not mine, not any animal’s. No birds, no breeze, no big waves, very little sound or movement; but I could smell the ocean. And this time there was a sense of waiting patiently for something.

The meditation faded; I am certain that sooner or later I will find out what I am waiting for.

I am crossing my fingers that my new Legacy Tarot deck is in; if it is, I will be doing my first Shadow Work spread tonight. I realized something interesting while putting together some preparatory work for Mystery and I: while sending Mystery the Shadow keywords for our significators (The Magician for M and The Empress for me), I also looked at the Shadow keywords for The High Priestess, because M sees me as that card. Well, blow me down, I do seem to be more like The H.P. right now than The Empress.

Here is what I found on all three cards:

The Magician: Lack of Focus v. Focus. Not applying your energy and efforts in the right direction; being scattered; lacking focus or not focusing on the real issue; starting many projects and not being able to finish them. Shadow gifts: being able to prioritize; being able to choose; taking action on your own behalf rather than just wishing for change; creating order out of chaos; being aware of your inner guide; seeing your own potential; being able to make your own reality.

The Empress: Smothering v. Mothering. Being a controlling woman; focusing so much on others that self-nurturing is neglected; smothering others with a “love” that stifles individuality; emotional neediness; brooding; holding on to destructive situations; destroying rather than creating; being emotionally barren. Shadow gifts: the creator within; fertility of mind, body and spirit; creating rather than destroying; nurturing rather than controlling; getting in touch with sensuality; allowing everyone their own truths.

The High Priestess: Superficiality v. Intuition. Being too literal or intellectual; not looking below the surface; not trusting intuition; being too caught up in intuitive world; being unwilling or afraid to explore the subconscious; being unable to acknowledge the masculine/feminine aspect of the personality. Shadow gifts: having complete faith in your intuition; being able to make logical decisions based on intuition; balancing the intellect and intuition; exploring the unconscious, connecting with the anima.

I also asked my Patroness Danu about this card (The H.P.) that seems to be presenting itself to me. I guess I got a dressing down; here are Her words:

“My dearest Daughter, why are you having such difficulty with this concept? You yourself can feel evidence of the changes that have happened to you, changes that are in part due to the reactions you are choosing as responses to the challenges that I present to you, and in part due to years of very hard work and study. You are walking the walk and talking the talk, my Daughter. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it is most certainly a duck. *smile* I do so love the picturesque metaphors of your language!

Are you reluctant to assume the responsibilities of this card because you feel presumptuous? Yes, my Daughter, I know that there are many who claim to be justified in having The High Priestess bestowed as a significator, but do you doubt that you have worked long and hard to get to the place you are at today? Do you doubt that you are at the stage within your Craft that this card should be your rightful focus?

Are you reluctant to assume the responsibilities of this card because you believe that this choice to accept will take something from you? You are still My student, Dear One, no matter what level of achievement you receive or attain in this life that I have given to you. Don’t feel that you will loose any opportunities to be My student, or to continue to receive from Me challenges and opportunities for growth, for none of them will be left behind if you choose to step into this card and begin the process of becoming The High Priestess.

Daughter, the longer you try to move against the tide the longer it will take until you can get down to work. Trust in Me and accept what is offered.”

When I tried to ask The General (one of my guides) what he thought, he just laughed and laughed. He enjoyed my discomfort over this whole H.P. thing, and I would not be a bit surprised if he knew from way back during our first meeting, when he laughed at me derisively because I said that I aspired to be the H.P., that I would reach this point and have to deal with this reluctance of mine to appear that I am choosing to present myself as the “grand poobah fluffy bunny High Priestess” who is all name and no substance.

LOL, I went back and re-read what I posted regarding my Tarot throw for today. Okay, then. I will work with The High Priestess, and I will trust in Danu and believe that I am supposed to be working with the energies of this card right now. I will open myself to becoming The High Priestess, but in doing so I will not leave behind what I have been taught by The Empress.

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