Tuesday, December 20, 2016

October 19, 2016: Head cold and Fermentation

I’ve been fighting a head cold for a few days, and I think I might be finally getting better.  I felt more myself today, brain is a bit less foggy.  Perhaps it is time to think more about the Fermentation stage of the Great Work.

Fermentation is kind of the first hint that dawn is coming soon.  So far I've broken down and destroyed all the old barriers and counterproductive habits I've formed (at least I hope I have). I've examined my own deficiencies without judgment of any kind; this process of identifying deficiencies has not been fun.  The thing is, once I realize how damaging something is, I kind of have a responsibility to act, either to embrace the habit wholly (no matter how damaging) or to actively strive to move away from it.  I can't stick my head in the sand or pretend I have no control.  Because I do have control.

In order to perform Fermentation in the lab, the solution must be transferred to another container and then a catalyst is added in order to encourage Fermentation.  For me, this transfer happens as I examine without judgment the parts of my Self that I most want to hide or deny.  Only then can I heal the wounds caused by these hidden parts of my Self, only then can I truly move past them.

Breaking down this old stuff and allowing it to fall away is actually making room for new wisdom, and it is allowing me to really look at my Self, in all her glory and embarrassments, as she really and truly is, because the illusions have all been burned or rotted away.  Healing is offered, healing produced by acceptance of what is, and accompanied by the responsibility to not backslide.  Yep, once I know something, I can't un-know it.

My Dreams of Gaia card for today is the Three of Water.  I haven’t had too many Water cards lately; these cards are about our loves, passions, desires and attractions.  The keywords for the Three of Water are satisfaction, pleasure, joy, hopefulness, anticipation, attachment, expectation, and disappointment.  This card is encouraging me to look to the future with excitement, and with hope for a rewarding outcome.  It is letting me know that having expectations is not a bad thing, as long as I don’t make those expectations into a heavy burden.

I think this card is fitting today.  The Hubs and I have work now, after a bit of a dry spell, enough work that I will need to adjust my weekend plans a bit.  I’m okay with that!  I get nervous whenever we run out of work; I can’t help it.  I always feel way more optimistic once the dry spell is over, and today is one of those optimistic days.


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