The Hermit/Nine of Wands reversed. I am being told that the answers to the questions that are eating at my mind will not be found in the outer world or in the words or actions of others. Instead I should lower my own most instinctive defenses so that I can understand my own reasons for asking the questions in the first place. That is where I will find the answers.

My Thoth card for today is . . . a new one (LOL), the Queen of Cups, this time reversed. This Queen is associated with dreaminess and tranquility, and the illusions that can bring those states of mind. I may not find it easy to achieve a tranquil state today, but at the same time I will hopefully dispel any illusions.

My Legacy card is another Cups card and another reversed card, the Ace of Cups reversed. This Ace tells of the promise of joy, serenity and well-being, and because it is reversed, I may have difficulty accessing those emotions. However, those emotions are there, so I will keep trying.

I have been thinking again. Can you smell the wood burning? Actually, my thoughts are following a progression since yesterday. I am trying to understand the human though process. LOL, not too intimidating a task!

I experienced over the past few days in two separate situations the concept of addiction and the effects those addictions can have. I’m not talking about addiction to substances, but rather in one case an addiction to another person and in another, an addiction to a concept. Neither of the primary persons is me, but I am actively involved in each of the situations.

The addiction to a person has to do with the online “self” that is created when we belong to and interact in an online forum or chat room. First, some explanation of what I mean by the online self.

The online self is an astral being or thought form that does not exist in the physical realms. Yes, this online self can have some of the physical characteristics of the real live person who created it, but I believe that even in the best and most honest cases, the characteristics and personality traits of our online selves are tweaked just a bit in accordance with what we wish we were, rather than what we really are. This tweaking can have both an internal effect (in other words, may affect the choices and actions of the online self), and can have an external effect (in other words, may affect how others perceive and react to the online self). Just like a situation where a needy person can seem to drain the energy from others, either deliberately and knowingly or without realizing it, our online selves can draw or repel others by exaggerating the conscious or subconscious needs or intentions of the real live person. Needless to say, it is also very easy to deliberately create an online self that is not at all like our real live self, and it may be possible to control another online self, even without consciously realizing it.

A situation that is filled with the potential of hurt can arise when one real live person becomes enamored of another online self, especially when that online self is probably nothing like the real live person behind the thoughtform, and especially when the feelings are not returned. Oh boy, is it easy to become addicted to the feeling of connection that can happen when both of those online selves interact, especially when one online self is reading into the interactions of the other online self. After all, neither of these selves are real live people (even though they are connected to and supported by real live people), and so one self’s perceptions of interactions can be easily tweaked into something they were never intended to be.

To a large extent the other situation mentioned here, the addiction to a concept, is also empowered by this theory, mainly because the majority of the interactions are talking place on the internet. This second situation, which involves a person who has taken a past perceived hurt and made it into a crusade that absorbs much of all current focus, is an example of how an online self can be turned into a stalker who appears psychotic because of the efforts expended in promoting and indeed, imposing this self’s version of the facts willy-nilly on whoever appears to be even remotely involved or aware of the perceived perpetrator of the original hurt.

In both cases, the online self ~and~ the supporting real live person have become addicted to the potential of manifesting and bringing to life the focus that is the addiction. Most people would not allow this kind of addiction to rule their lives, but when a person is needy in some way, whether they need love or justification for past actions, that person could gradually be consumed by this need. The internet and its offering of the creation of an online self, especially when that online self is presented with total anonymity and thus with the perception of not having to accept consequences to any actions taken, certainly enables these kinds of addictions.

The most difficult part of all of this is that situations can rapidly progress to the point where no one else can divert the focus of the addicted person. It is the addicted person who must realize that her or his online self is on a path toward almost certain destruction or chaos; it is the addicted person who must change the direction of the online self. The rest of us can try to point out the trend, but unfortunately this will be a frustrating and mostly fruitless pursuit. Like any addiction, the addicted person must first hit her or his own personal bottom before beginning the long and uphill path to returned sanity.

I feel better now. I have done what I can, and all I can do right now is be there if needed and hope that not much more pain will be incurred by those who are battling addictions (or by the surrounding population). Thankfully, these kinds of situations don’t happen often in my world. Getting straight in my own mind the hows and whys of these kinds of addictions does help me to deal with my inability to bring some positive results into either situation. I cannot control the choices of others, only my own. I am at peace with that.

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