Eight of Pentacles/Eight of Cups: Oh, boy. I asked for help, and I got it!! I am being told that the work may be hard, but it needs to be done to the best of my ability, and I need to keep in mind that often the best case scenario is that reward does not appear until well after the work is completed; and the hard work itself might be the reward. Often this hard work has to do with a relationship as well as something in the physical realms, and the reward is the manifestation of the ability to use accumulated knowledge in order to solve a problem. And the work needs to come from me; I can’t sit there and wait for someone else to fix things because the fixing will never get started. Again, I am being told that physical sacrifices may need to happen in order for spiritual growth to occur.

My Thoth card for today is the Four of Cups. Hooray! No court cards today. Crowley calls this card “Luxury,” and of course while luxury can be a sensual delight, it always presents the potential for stagnation. The process of satisfaction is self-degenerating, and the enjoyment of luxury should be a temporary thing.

My horoscope: “You may sense a bit of conflict in your world today, especially when it comes to your emotions. Keep in mind that your perception of the situation is apt to make or break the result of any sort of dispute. Look for opportunities in the spaces where you might disagree with others. You can gain a wonderful perspective today when you open up your channels to things that are completely new to you.

I should have known; I have been seeing the numbers 111 and 11:11 all over the place, and they usually appear, like the rumble of thunder in the distance, as a warning of the approach of my Archangel guide, Uriel.

It seems to me that every time Archangel Uriel appears in my life, I end up dealing with painful upheavals. This time is no exception; late yesterday afternoon I once again dealt with an escalating hissy fit at work. Briefly, one of my bosses, who is almost 70, has the ability to be overpoweringly nasty and cruel (verbally, not physically). To make matters worse, when he brings up an issue he does not listen to me when I try to explain or solve the problem, and just keeps repeating his nastiness with escalating impatience instead of listening to my explanations. Most of the time I have been able to diffuse these situations, but every so often I loose my temper and then the explosion happens.

Uriel has been telling me to “awaken” and “awaken the fire,” and each time He appears and looks at me with stern and slightly disappointed eyes, I am presented with another opportunity to grow. That is how I see these painful moments: opportunities to grow. Just as fear presents an opportunity to strengthen our “courage” muscles, my boss seems to have been brought into my life in order for me to convince my Younger Self that I need to act, not react, and that we (my Younger Self and I) have the power to do this. Each time I am brought to tears and anger that is almost overwhelming due to a disagreement with my boss, I find that the recovery and healing process brings greater benefits. The unfortunate thing about this is that each episode of conflict is also escalating. This time, Bob had to “talk me down from the ledge,” which he was able to do with compassion (thank you, Bob!!). And I am now within the healing process, probing and picking at the wounds in order to desensitize myself, so that I can act instead of reacting, for it is in reacting instead of acting that I am giving the power to create these ugly moments to my boss.

This realization is painful to accomplish, and I can understand why Uriel gets somewhat impatient with me. But I am grateful that He hasn’t given up on me yet!

$