Friday, July 17, 2009

Ten of Swords reversed/Justice. Today may bring some kind of ending or closure, or *shudder* some final ordeal that will clear the air, and that will “bring the pigeons home to roost.” Whether the events of the day are gentle or rough will depend not on what I do today, but what I have done up until today. Whatever happens, I must remember that if I make the effort to find the positive influence within the mistake, I will transform that mistake into a lesson.

My Thoth card for today is the Two of Wands. Crowley calls this card the Lord of Dominion, and it tells of the presence or the influence of fire in its purest and best form. Will is manifested today for me without taint of any kind.

This has been a busy week, and I am relieved that today is Friday. I have had some wonderfully interesting conversations with some of the students of Sacred Mists this week, conversations that have deepened my connection to the school and all who are a part of it. One thing that is interesting to me is that many of these deepening relationships seem to be initiated by the student completing their First Degree training. It is almost as if my response to their Final Exam submission and my congratulations to them upon their successful completion of First Degree training acts as a catalyst, and everything that they have learned through their lessons begins to manifest. How exciting for these students as they step up and put to use what they have strived to learn over the past months and years, and how exciting and fulfilling for me to be a part of this activation!

I am feeling fulfilled for several reasons. I have been striving to follow the instructions of Uriel to the best of my ability. I still feel as if there is something huge just beyond the horizon and I believe that Uriel is a part of all that; he is preparing the way for me, and giving me every opportunity to prepare myself. A big part of this preparation seems to be the constant reminders that are presented to me that I need to “see” so much more than what is presented to me on the physical plane of existence. I am working patiently and persistently on this charge to “awaken,” and I am not allowing myself to be discouraged because I feel like a blind, deaf and dumb person shuffling carefully forward, unable to perceive what is around me. I am confident that when the time is right, my senses will awaken as they need to. Patience and persistence have always been the key in the past, and they will be the key this time, too.

I am feeling fulfilled because I have finally been able to release completely a negative interaction from the recent past. This interaction, which had attempted to destroy my love and support for and fulfillment received from an institution that is a major part of my life, has only ended up strengthening my sense of having chosen the right place to be, my sense of my own value within this place, and my sense of being supported and nurtured and protected. Thank you, Lady Raven, for all that you do for me and for us all, mostly in ways that very few are able to see and acknowledge.

I am feeling fulfilled as I work on the Historical Paganism Course presented at Sacred Mists. This is quite a challenge because it is a college level class, requiring lots of research. I feel already that I have learned much about the ancients, and in turn, much about how I have come to be here at this moment, and I am only on Lesson 2. I am grateful for this opportunity to add depth and texture to my knowledge of humanity, of Paganism, and of my own self.

The Pagan Brain Trust met once again last night, and I am feeling fulfilled because within this group of people I have found a place where my own knowledge is validated and where I can learn from others who have equally valid knowledge and experiences that approach life, love and spirituality from a slightly different perspective. In just two short evenings, this group has come to personify in my mind the concept of “perfect love and perfect trust.” How amazing that I have found four other people who are interestingly different, and yet who are laced with the same desire to connect and share and grow and support. In many ways, this group seems to be like the “fellowship of the ring” that was formed in the first of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. Circumstances have brought us together, we have all connected as if we knew each other in past lives, and together we have the potential to accomplish great things, even though we are right now only focused on our “beginnings.” And this is as it should be! As TL so wisely stated last night, each part of the journey needs to be absorbed, for each step is filled with important opportunities for “brain dumps” that will add new flavor and texture to this gift of the Goddess that is life.

I am feeling very calm today, and I am enjoying the process of documenting my week. I understand completely that this pause is very temporary in nature, and I am eager to move on to the next step, to the next challenges, to the next level of fulfillment.

And I am looking forward to a weekend with my Dahling.

$

No comments:

Post a Comment