The High Priestess/Seven of Pentacles. Today is a day of assessment. I need to look at where I have come from, and I need to determine if what I have done is enough to satisfy me. If I decide that I want to continue, I am being offered a possibility: exploration of my most inner Shadow self. I need to think carefully before continuing, because this particular path is filled with perils and uncertainties, and its end result will reveal me as I really am.

My Thoth card is the Nine of Cups. Called “Happiness,” this card tells of a perception of completeness and fulfillment. Others may not agree, but I am convinced, at least for today, that all is well and that I have everything I need, including both luck and love. However, nothing stands still and remains healthy, so tomorrow I must begin again to apply luck and love, in order to achieve tomorrow’s Happiness.

These cards really do sum up where I am right now in my life. I have done great things since the beginning of the year, and I really feel that I have been successful in implementing what I have learned into my everyday life. But I seem to be taking this time between Beltane, the culmination of the building of the masculine and feminine energies around me, and Litha, the peak of the masculine energies of light and warmth, to solidify my position in preparation for the coming darkness of the waning year. I know so much about myself, so much more than I did at this time last year, but there is a vast part of my psyche that is relatively untouched: my Shadow.

My journey across the Abyss has been preparing me for this next phase; I can see that clearly now. I was not ready to really see myself before this time, and I would not have completely understood what I was seeing if I had looked. But now I am strong enough, intelligent enough, courageous enough; now I have been shown the procedures and given the tools to journey into the dark and perilous unknown that is my Shadow.

I am glad that my next step has been revealed to me; I have sensed an intense buildup, but often in the past the purpose of that buildup was not immediately revealed to me.

I think in part this revelation has been facilitated by my projects at Sacred Mists. Putting together the Second Degree class on “instant magick” has made me put into words the particular methods that have worked for me as far as magickal workings, methods that are sometimes difficult to describe to those who have not yet experienced them. But like my overall journey through this life, I see that I was not ready to teach these concepts until now in part because I did not understand how I was accomplishing the particular workings, and in part I was not believing in the effectiveness of my own skills. When I finished putting the final touches on my script for the class, I was exhausted. Pleased at the results of my efforts, but exhausted as well because I worked hard at choosing the words that would best describe a pretty much indescribable process. I think I did okay, but we shall see after the class this weekend.

My Tarot class was very easy to put together because I was presenting concepts that I had already discovered for myself, but putting them into words that others could understand has served to crystallize in my own mind the dual nature of each of the Major Arcana cards, and in fact the entire Tarot deck. Basically, this class shows the students that even the most terrifying Tarot card has positive ramifications; they only need to be brought to light.

I am working on another project, an entirely new program. I can’t say much about it yet, but it will present an opportunity to mitigate (or maybe in many cases, eliminate entirely) a recurring issue at Sacred Mists. I have done the preliminary work and set up draft documents that describe the program and address the steps that I can anticipate; the documents were posted yesterday so the Council members can offer their comments. This program will be a tremendous undertaking for me, and it may end up redirecting my focus at Sacred Mists somewhat, but I have already thought about this possibility, and I am fine with it, should it occur. I look forward to implementing this program.

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