So, I had the opportunity to do a meditation later last evening. I was eager to meditate because on Sunday evening I spent time with the PBT, and went with E to the stream that was the catalyst for all this. I went deep into a meditative state, and then traveled to the Ancient Altar and called Haftorang and Ophion, Satevis and Zephyrus, and Venant and Notus. They all came and settled on their stone platforms.
And then Eurus, my Elemental Guide of Air appeared. He stood there, leaning on the hilt of his sword, the hood of his light blue cloak back and his hair blowing in the gentle breeze. For a moment there was a sense of stillness and anticipation.
I heard a loud cry from the distance, echoing all around me. I looked past Eurus to the east; in the distance and rapidly approaching was the largest bird I had ever seen. It flew right to the top of my mountain and hovered for a moment, blowing eddies of air with its huge wings, and then landed. It kept its wings well open, primary feathers spread, and let loose with another loud cry. Here was Tishtya, Watcher of the East! He was a huge, mythical Roc!
His wingspan was huge, majestic. He had a beak like an eagle and claws tipped with sharp talons; this was a true predator! His eyes were filled with intelligence. And he watched me, carefully.
I nodded in welcome, acknowledging him, and suddenly the ground shook under my feet.
They were all here at my Altar, standing on their platforms, watching as Watchers do, along with my Elemental Guides. The last piece of the puzzle had been clicked into place, and the power was activated. The air practically crackled and sparked with power; the energy actually made the air feel heavy, syrupy. I looked at each of them directly in their eyes . . . at Haftorang and Ophion in the North, then at Satevis and Zephyrus in the West, at Venant and Notus in the South, and finally I looked at Tishtya and Eurus in the East. And I was filled with power, strong and delicious and intoxicating power.
“Oh my . . .” I whispered. This was unlike anything I have ever experienced. And to make it even more heady, I knew somehow that I could ask any of the Watchers or Elemental Guides to do my bidding, and they would obey. They would expect payment for providing a service, payment I probably would not be comfortable giving, but they would do my bidding. Words cannot describe how this felt.
I returned my gaze to Haftorang, and he tilted his head to the side, massive horns moving, as if considering me as I stood there.
“You have become The Magician, as you desired,” he said softly. “You have the power at your fingertips, but you also have shouldered his ethical dilemma. “ I knew exactly what he was talking about. The Magician of the Tarot wields the power of the elements, but he does not have an ethical code beyond his own desires. Power without compassion or mercy or empathy can be quite effective, but also quite devastating.
“You are in control, and that means the ethics are your responsibility. We Watchers each have our own personal ethical code, our own agenda. I assure you that these agendas do not always hold your highest good as the primary intention. We will do your bidding and exact the price we determine as just, without considering your highest good. Determining the highest good, my human, is your responsibility.”
Yes, this was my responsibility. No Deity was present, it was just me, the Watchers and the Guides. I was in control. But after thinking about it more, I doubted this to be 100% true. I now understand the lure of this kind of working, how easy it would be to allow ethical considerations to take a back seat to achieving my own goals. Yes, those goals might start out as being for the higher good of all, but I’m not sure how long that would last; I am, after all, human. This seemed to be limitless power.
I closed my eyes and soaked up the glorious energies that were thrumming with the combined power of these entities. I knew I was not going to do anything else here, I was just going to memorize this heady, intoxicating feeling, and I was going to resist making use of what I had brought about. Yeah, I was. I took a long, slow breath, straightened my spine, and then calmly opened my eyes and looked directly into Haftorang’s eyes. A slow smile spread on his face, and then he laughed. He threw his head back and laughed, the sound echoing.
And then suddenly, clouds billowed over them all, and they were gone.
Even now, much later, as I describe this meditation, I feel echoes of that energy, attempting to lure me back. This was as addictive as any drug, and I am going to have to be real careful. Now I understand completely why we need so much training before attempting these things. My ethical code is solid, thankfully. While the energy is very attractive, I would rather not be beholden to these entities, although I am grateful for their teachings. I would assume they feed on my response to their energies, and that means so far, there is no debt.
So far. After sleeping on this experience, I am determined to keep it this way.
I threw my Dreams of Gaia card this morning with a bit of trepidation. What message will these powerful and expressive cards give me today? I threw the King of Fire. Interesting. This King is the polar opposite of the King I threw yesterday. Am I being told to do an about-face? To balance extremes?
The keywords for the King of Fire are proactive, dauntless, inspirational, vital, powerful, passionate, charismatic, and involved. The King of Fire is a passionate leader who inspires others not only by his ideas, but by his ability to manifest those ideas into reality. This King likes to get his hands dirty; he doesn’t just oversee a project, he also dives into the dirt. He is definitely a part of the whole, and he knows that he can be replaced, so he works hard. The King of Fire has the heart of a lion; he is brave and unafraid of the dark (and the predators that hunt when the sun goes down), and he is not afraid to include others in leadership roles (even of including others endangers his own position as leader).
Interesting. I am being told to be a strong leader that is unafraid to boldly go where no man has gone before, but to also make use of the team available to me. Yesterday’s King tells me to follow the rules, even if those who are following me might want to blur the lines. I guess I’ve got my answer as far as the Watchers and Elemental Guides, eh?