Okay, I have been a bad girl since Friday, but with excuses. We are finishing up our usual big projects for March and April at work, and my weekend was incredibly busy. So, I will post a roundup of my Tarot card pulls and of my weekend.

First, my Tarot cards:

Friday’s cards were Temperance/Nine of Wands. Temperance tells of the modification or strengthening of a concept by the addition of something new. I am being told that there may very well be difficulties, but I have within me what it takes to solve those difficulties, and to move forward to a better place because I have solved the difficulties. Often, change *is* stability, and these cards seem to be validating that concept.

My Thoth card for Friday was The World reversed. This card has a specific message, according to Crowley; it is “Treat time and all conditions of Event as Servants of thy Will, appointed to present the Universe to thee in the form of thy Plan.” I am being told that things are not as clear as they are going to get, and all that is presented within this cycle is at my disposal, for my use, even though I am not getting this. I am not making efficient use of my resources and I am not perceiving the instructions for their application.

I pulled one set of cards for the entire weekend because I knew that I would not have much time. I pulled the Two of Pentacles reversed/The High Priestess reversed. I am being told that the weekend will not hold balance for me, and it seems that my focus will not be inward towards the unknown. I could not quite understand what these cards were telling me, but in hindsight, I find that the messages of this card pair are true. My weekend was made up of a string of experiences within the physical world, enjoying physical manifestations. There were only a few moments when I was able to balance the spiritual with the physical; they were there, but the physical effects were so “in my face” that I was mostly distracted from them.

My Thoth card for the weekend was Death reversed. Ah; interesting card. Crowley tells us that we should die daily, and he tells us that this card presents apparent death, but this interpretation of the presence of the energies of death is actually an illusion. Does this card in a reversed orientation mean that I am seeing through this illusion?

Today’s cards are Seven of Swords/Ten of Swords. Today could be a day of dealing with dishonesty, guile and trickery, probably perpetrated by an individual who does this diabolical work in secrecy. I am being told that the only way these efforts can harm me is if I admit defeat and allow them to affect me.

My Thoth card for today is the Princess of Cups. Perhaps this card is offering a possible response to my Swords cards today, for the Princess of Cups tells of the presence of the potential of all that is feminine and good within me and my circumstances. Yes, this pure feminine essence is subject to the effects of other energies, but it is there, all the same, waiting to be tapped into.

My weekend was incredibly wonderful. My drive down to Cape May was uneventful, and the sunset was incredibly beautiful. Sharon and her family did not arrive until very late, and we ended up staying up to talk once we got the kids settled and asleep, probably much longer than we should have. Saturday morning we headed down to the beach and walked for about two hours, letting the kids run on ahead of us as the beach was pretty empty. Lots of dolphins, though, and a pair of osprey, fishing diligently (maybe for babies??). We went back to the house for lunch, and I saw my first monarch butterfly, heading North! We then went to Sunset Beach and walked again on the sand. We finished up by taking the kids to a great rock store right there on the beach. LOL, this guy has boxes of rocks out in the back of the shop, and the kids loved sifting through them.

Sunday was more of the same. Beautiful weather, and long walks on the beach, dolphins and osprey. By last night, my calves were killing me because walking on sand uses different muscles, and I was pretty crisped from the sun. But oh, was it worth the pain I have today!! I feel rested and relaxed.

I put in some herbs: basil, dill and pineapple mint. No chamomile yet, but my eyes are pealed for it. My rosemary is doing well, and my garlic chives are incredible this year. And my wisteria!! Oh my, there are going to be a whole bunch of flowers!! It looks like the peak bloom will be during the week; I am crossing my fingers that there will still be blooms on the vines by the weekend.

During my Dark Moon Esbat on Thursday night I had an interesting experience. I usually perform some kind of meditation or divination during my time of focusing on ebbing and darkness, and this time I was drawn to work with my Shadow Self. I set up my clear calcite gazing sphere in the middle of my altar, and at the appropriate point in my ritual I began my meditation. Now I work with this sphere often, but mostly I see a shape within it which acts as a catalyst for a meditation, which happens with my eyes closed. This was the first time that I had a different and much more powerful experience. My eyes were drawn to a small shadow within the sphere. That shadow began to morph as I watched it; it became longer, and then it grew legs and antennae, becoming an insect. A creepy-crawly insect. One that you would find under rocks or in the corners of a damp basement. One of the few unexplored fears I have left are insects such as these, and that shadow became first an earwig (*shudder*), and then another insect with antennae like fern fronds, and then another with long legs and a long body, and then another insect which I have never seen in real life and I assume is a representation of my Shadow. I felt the hairs on my neck stand up and the muscles in my gut clench. Then, as I stared at the shadow in the sphere, hypnotized, I felt something crawling across the back of my right hand, going from the outside of my hand toward my thumb, from right to left. I forced myself to stay still and to keep my eyes on that spot in the sphere, even though my first instinct was to shake my hand, or at least to look at my hand to see what horror was crawling across it. I am proud to say that I did not look, even when I felt something crawling on the back of my left hand as well. I can see clearly what my next challenge is going to be!

I had a wonderful night’s sleep (despite that meditation), and I am filled with energy today. I promised a Tarot reading to someone, and I will be doing that tonight. All that sunshine and ocean air have me alert and enthusiastic, even of most of that enthusiasm is manifesting within my physical world.

$