The Horned One/Page of Cups. What’s this? No Swords?? I am being told today that there is the potential for some part of my shadow to control me, perhaps in a way that will have negative consequences. The best way to counter this possibility is to believe in myself, to believe in my ability to direct my future, ant most importantly, to accept that there will always be a Shadow cast when there is light. I cannot be a healthy and harmonious person unless I understand and accept the validity of my Shadow. My Page of Cups is telling me that I should counteract this Shadow, this pessimistic part of myself who doubts, by allowing my emotions and my intuition to bloom and prosper.

My Thoth card for today is the Princess of Disks. What a lovely card, and a great companion to that Page of Cups! To Crowley, this card, which is Earth of Earth, tells of the purest of the character traits of Woman: generosity, compassion, kindness, diligence, perseverance and the ability to nurture. There may be other effects or influences that may prevent these traits from manifesting, but even so, they are there, being stored within me, just waiting for the opportunity to “become.”

What a beautiful day!!! It is warm, the sun is shining, and the tulip magnolias, azaleas and the white and pink cherry trees are blooming. Of course, I have a killer sinus headache, but I refuse to allow it to affect my day. I am hoping to stop at my sister-in-law’s tonight before leaving for Cape May, and pick up some black eyed susans and ferns to be planted in my garden. Tomorrow is supposed to be even nicer than today! Wahooooo!!!

Since the Equinox, I have felt the masculine energies of the God growing more intense. Beltane is nearly upon us, and the sacred male and sacred female, the energies of fertility and the catalyst that allows the potential of that fertility to manifest, are building static charges that are intense enough to create a tension within me. A good tension. A sense of expectation, too, for sooner or later those two static charges will release. And that release will bring an even bigger “Wahooooo”! Sacred sex is a wonderful thing!!

I work with specific deities. I have come to know their individual personalities because of the relationships that I have in place with them. Sometimes I mention them by name and focus on their specific correspondences and personalities, and yet at other times I connect with the basic feminine and masculine of Goddess and God. By “feminine” and “masculine” I mean the energetic correspondences and the specific effects of the energies, not the genders. At this time of the year, as the third fertility Sabbat is nearly upon us, I can feel this basic energy as a sort of “pressure” or background vibration, always there.

To me, there is some form of primordial “connector energy” (for lack of a better descriptive term) in place as far as Deity is concerned. I think many specific Gods and Goddesses could very well be thought forms, ancient thought forms that have ended up with complex personalities because they have been “fed” by us over the time of humanity’s existence. Yes, they are constructed from that “primordial connector” that is Deity, but they have been given personalities in part by and through our expectations. Archetypal expectations that are imposed by our subconscious maybe, but to me no matter how much humanity’s expectations have shaped the different individuals within the different pantheons, there is still “something more” within each construct which is an individual God or Goddess that makes each of them . . . well . . . Gods and Goddesses. I am assuming here, but I think that many of us would not belong to a religion if we thought otherwise.

I don’t think that as humans we will be able to ever completely understand Deity, but that does not mean that we don’t try. I view Deity as an entity or entities that appear to me in a form that I can connect with and understand (even if they must lower themselves in order to do this), but surely each Deity must be receiving something in return. There is a connection here, some specific need that is being responded to on both parts, both God/ess and worshipper. The joy of connection that I feel, and the pleasure of experiencing that intense vibrancy and vibration of love, Will and my life force within me, are all present in my aura and being sent back to Goddess, and back to God, in the form of an exchange that has a fertility of its own.

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