Queen of Cups/Five of Cups. The Queen of Cups (cusp of Gemini, “I think,” curious, sociable, dual, and Cancer, “I feel,” sensitive, tenacious, nurturing, moody) represents the energies of The High Priestess manifested into the Minor Arcana.  The Queen of Cups is telling me not to trust perceptions today but rather, to trust my emotional reactions and my intuition.  This is a card strongly connected to intuition, and most of the time, it is talking about relations between people (and the joys and perils of those relationships).  The Five of Cups (Mars, action, aggression, drive, in Scorpio, “I desire,” intense, controlling, mysterious, obsessive) tells of a setback or a lack of support, often happening because people or events are not being focused on correctly.  The ATA Website says this about the Five of Cups: “Sometimes you also have to remember that change never happens just for the sake of change. There is always a reason for the disturbance, an imbalance that must be eliminated or a wrong that must be righted. In these cases, even a disastrous change can be beneficial.”  These two cards together are telling me that I may not enjoy the emotions and feelings presented to me today, but I should open myself to them and see them as necessary and beneficial.

My Thoth card is the Three of Cups reversed.  More Water cards.  “Abundance” “Abundance” is the keyword for the Three of Cups (Mercury, reason, intelligence, orderliness, communication, in Cancer, “I feel,” sensitive, tenacious, nurturing, moody).  This card is about blessings, but not blessings of the physical world.  Rather, it tells of the creation of emotional blessings, love that comes to fruition.  My “Abundance” card is reversed today; perhaps I am looking too hard for these emotional connections and thus, misinterpreting them or missing them entirely?

My Legacy card is the Ten of Wands reversed, flavored by the Eight of Cups reversed. The Ten of Wands (Saturn, discipline, responsibility, limitations and resistance, in Sagittarius, “I seek,” philosophic, fun-loving, blundering) is a card which tells of being taxed to the limit, or at least, tells us we believe we are taxed to the limit.  Upright this card can be seen as wasting energy on a fruitless pursuit, and I think I might understand the personal message to me here. The Eight of Cups (Saturn, discipline, responsibility, limitation, law and order, in Pisces, “I believe,” feeling, duality, suffering, soul growth) in an upright position tells of an ending or a change of direction, often one associated with emotions.  My Eight of Cups, which is flavoring my reversed Ten of Wands, is also reversed.  These cards together are telling me that I have not yet reached the end of my ability to deal with the emotions associated with some major change in my life.  Whether those emotions are good or bad, I can’t avoid the concept that an ending may be necessary, and I can’t believe that the ending which may be needed will end up flattening me.

My 6-digit date number is 9, the completeness of effect, experience or manifestation.

My horoscopes: “Profligate spending in the past may come back to haunt you now with regard to money, Sagittarius. There could be blocks in receiving funds you were expecting or an unexpected but necessary expense could come up. It's going to take all your talent for careful planning to work your way around this situation, but take heart. The situation can turn to a positive one in the blink of an eye, and probably will.”

And: “Plans for travel might have you confused right now. You might have a number of possibilities in mind, all of which seem equally attractive, yet it probably isn't feasible to try to go for them all. You could also face decisions regarding your education. You're probably going to have to make a choice, but today is not the day to do it, as confusion is likely to reign. Wait a few days, then list your options, and consider them all.”

My Shadowscapes Insight is regarding the Ten of Swords.  This card tells of circumstances building to a grand finale, with those circumstances at least creating the perception of coming destruction.  Perception is the key word here because the suit of Swords is about the mind and the intellect, and these are the tools we use to analyze our circumstances and choose a response.  Since the number 10 is about the completion of a cycle, I just might need to realize that sometimes the events have so much energy and momentum gathered from other sources that I can’t change the outcome.  I need to ride the wave until it breaks on the shore, and then stand up, brush off the sand and seaweed, and see where I’ve been left. 

One of the things that needs to be discovered, analyzed and then released within the Great Work is behavior that is self-limiting and self-defeating.  To me, this kind of damaging perception can be broken down into two categories: those that originate from within me, and those that I allow to affect me that originate outside of me, sourced either from people or events.  As difficult as the first few phases of the Great Work can be, it is Separation and Conjunction that really begin the process of reinvention of the self, and like cleaning out that junk room filled with the accumulation of those “valuable” things that we saved because we really believed we would make use of them some day, this takes objectivity and a Will of steel. 

After all, releasing a bad eating habit is not as gut-wrenching as leaving a job that is more harmful than good, or moving away from a relationship that is doomed to failure despite efforts to repair it.  And I seem to be bouncing back and forth between focusing on Separation and on Conjunction, because each time I feel that I am ready to start reforming myself, I find something else hidden in the dusty corners that needs to be dealt with. 

Now that I’ve analyzed and determined the final outcome for the easier things, the ones that are presenting themselves now are the ones I’ve tried not to see.  It is almost as if blurring my mind’s eye will allow me to skip over the hard choices so that I don’t have to make painful decisions. 

But one thing I have learned over the ten years that I have been following the Wiccan Path is that no one else can do these things for me, and choosing to not face a painful issue is indeed a choice, so I will need to live with the outcome.  That means I can’t allow myself to skim over issues that need to be dealt with.

“The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Alchemy” by Dennis William Hauk talks about this exact issue.  “If the preceding operations were successful, only the most genuine and essential parts of the matter are left to work with.  The next step in the alchemy of transformation is the Conjunction, which is the recombination of those saved elements into a new compound or purer substance.  In terms of the Four Elements, Conjunction is the union of the Elements of Fire, Water and Air to produce a purified or reborn Earth Element. 

The process begins with commixation, which is a mixing or commingling of the saved essences from separation.  Vessels of Conjunction have two glass globes or sections joined by a middle chamber in which the mixing or commingling occurs. 

However, just bringing these essences together in the same vessel is not enough to accomplish this important operation.  The essences must create a new compound, which the alchemists call the Child of the Conjunction.  If the recombination of essences does not create a new compound, the alchemists felt that material impurities or negative spiritual energies had polluted the process and the whole experiment had failed.”

This is the source of my lethargy of late.  This is why every time I attempt to move on to Conjunction, circumstances point me back to the Separation process.  Albedo is about purification, and in order for this to work, everything needs to be sterilized. 

Oh boy, sounds like I’m going to have a fun weekend.

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