Five of Cups reversed/The High Priestess. The Five of Cups (Mars, action, aggression, drive, in Scorpio, “I desire,” intense, controlling, mysterious, obsessive) in an upright position tells of emotional down time, a setback or a lack of support. My Five of Cups is reversed, so I should be able to redirect my focus away from what I’ve lost, and towards the fertile possibilities I have not yet tapped into. The High Priestess (Water; the Moon, feelings and emotions, illusion, imagination; Gimel, the camel who safely crosses Da’ath, the Abyss, and thus, has the secret of life; and the Path between Tiphareth, the hub of the creation process where energies harmonize and focus to illuminate and clarify, and Kether, the source, limitless possibility), is the source of the power of The Magician, the feminine version of The Hierophant, and the Keeper of the Mysteries.  She is reminding me by her presence that if I can manage to shut out the cacophony of the senses that is a physical-world awareness, there are huge, fulfilling blessings to be had.  Those blessings are with me at all times, even if I am too distracted to be aware of them.  Today, I should strive to see the Cup as half full rather than half empty, and the training I have been working so hard to hone will allow me to do this no matter what happens throughout the day.

My Thoth card is the Nine of Cups.  “Happiness.”  Yessss! The Nine of Cups (cusp of Aquarius, “I know,” friendships, the group, cause-oriented, and Pisces, “I believe,” feelings, duality, suffering, soul growth) is about emotional satisfaction and the ability to find pleasure in my feelings and in my expectations for the day.

My Legacy card is the King of Cups reversed, flavored by the Queen of Coins reversed.  Okay, this makes sense. The King of Cups (cusp of Libra, “We are,” partnerships, balance, cooperation, and Scorpio, “I desire,” intense, controlling mysterious, obsessive) is the expert on emotions and the subconscious, mainly because of his life experiences.  He lives as an example to others and is very good at creating and maintaining a sanctuary open to all that promotes serenity and well being.  My King is reversed, however, and that tells me that for today, I need to focus that caring and tolerance on myself rather than on creating the optimum emotional environment for those around me.  The Queen of Coins (cusp of Sagittarius, “I seek,” philosophic, fun-loving, blundering, and Capricorn, “I build,” ambition, caution, cunning, authoritative) is flavoring my reversed King; she is also reversed.  To me, she is validating the message of my reversed King: my focus should not be on the outside world and in nurturing and caring for and supporting my loved ones.  Today is not about the messages of my physical senses and their perception of the world; today is about the non-physical senses and the joys, fulfillment and serenity they offer.

My 6-digit date number is 3, the number that tells of a new creation out of the potential and position of the Ace, and the balance, polarity and concept of “distance between” of the 2.

My horoscopes: “Though communication is one of your strong points, today you might find it hard. You may feel introspective, but open, honest discussion could be what you need now. Your long-held ideas and values are changing, and you might require guidance to put your new beliefs to work. A search for truth is in your future, and you'll want some companions along the way.

And: “You should be able to evaluate your emotions from a very neutral and detached perspective today. Use this opportunity to take action based on what you feel. Make sure that your actions aren't reactionary and that you are not simply acting rash in response to someone else's hasty maneuvers. Think before you make any sudden moves. You will be amazed at what incredible things can develop if you simply use your head a bit first.

My Shadowscapes Insight is regarding the King of Pentacles.  This King has at his disposal the eternal strength and stability of the material world, and because that strength is so integral a part of him, he radiates stability, power, perseverance and fertility.  He not only creates the kind of predictable stability that allows us to feel safe and cared for, but he also holds in his hand the seed of the future.  That seed, filled with potential, is being offered to each of us.

I did not plan on a blog entry for today, because this entire holiday weekend is just so busy for me.  But this morning, I find that I am filled with a lovely, soft warmth that just might be the Christmas Spirit.  How cool is that??!!  Let me explain.

For months now and especially since Samhain, things just have felt off for some reason.  The energies around me have seemed unpredictable.  Things would be going along relatively as expected and suddenly, with absolutely no warning at all, a hidden eddy or strong whirlpool would grab hold, spin me around until I was dizzy, and then spit me out into a totally new direction.  Or, I would make preparations for a period of white water ahead (LOL in keeping with my wet metaphors), and once I arrived at the location of expected turmoil, instead of fighting to keep my head above water I am left in calmness, glancing around with a puzzled look on my face as I wonder where the blockages have gone.  Time and time again, things just were not happening as planned. 

I have actually experienced moments of deep despair, of actual tears, over inconsequential events or even over nothing at all.  Moments of crying into my pillow at night.  Thankfully, after a night’s sleep that deep pain without a specific source becomes more of an intellectual experience.  But I don’t get depressed like this, and to have this happen more than even once in a period of weeks is a bit disconcerting. 

Granted, this year holiday preparation has not been fun at all because of our money situation.  I actually had to wait until today to order one gift because my credit card cycle ended yesterday.  But this is by far not the first time I have done Christmas shopping on a very limited budget.  My years as a single parent were much worse than this and I survived them without experiencing these moments of deep, gut-wrenching depression.  I have made it through ten years of menopause, and all the night sweats and hot flashes and hair loss and ebbing of libido that are a part of menopause, without needing any professional assistance at all.  Yet here I am, being debilitated by this non-specific yet overwhelming pain.  I mean, WTF?

My Yule was wonderful, a tropical island of white sand, palm trees, warmth and a frosty cocktail in the midst of stormy seas.  I shared a lovingly-written Yule ritual with my Wiccan community.  This year, I was very much aware of the returning effects of the Sacred Masculine right from the first day after Solstice, and even now I can feel the effects of the newly Waxing Year.  But I did not expect this holiday weekend to mean much to me.  Thankfully, I was wrong.

Many of my friends and loved ones are also experiencing a sort of "disconnect" this holiday season.  Many have echoed my own “dus” expectations for this weekend.  And here is the cool part: after weeks of wondering just what it's all for, suddenly, at the 11th hour, some of us are being given an opportunity to understand the message of the season in a simple and surprisingly fulfilling way.  One very powerful example of these amazingly powerful opportunities happened within my family.

My brother-in-law is a high school teacher.  He teaches very poor children in a very poor neighborhood, most of whom did not expect a Christmas at all, some of whom are literally homeless.  As my brother-in-law realized the extent of the poverty these kids were dealing with every day, he was drawn to do something about it.  He first attempted to go through regular channels, but was not able to receive the facilitation needed to help the kids right now.  So at the last minute he and his family put a quick call out to family and friends, asking if each could help just a bit, and quickly. 

In less than 24 hours, there were well over 100 gifts, donated, individually wrapped, and delivered to some kids for whom Christmas is usually just another cold, lonely day.  This was done with no splashy advertisements promoting what was done, no official middle man, no sanctioned charity, on the spur of the moment and from the heart.  Don’t get me wrong, charities do very good work, but those large machines are not often able to create this last minute effect.  They are just too big to micro-focus instantly, and that is exactly what was needed in this instance. 

This is a hugely dramatic example of what I see happening all around me this weekend.  Our days are filled with stress.  The economy is shaky on its best days, the political parties are playing the blame game in the public eye of the world, and the middle class is being exterminated.  We have tightened our belts until there is no more belt to tighten and still there is no real hope for relief on the horizon because our leaders are too busy pointing out what their opponents are doing wrong.  Depression and disillusionment are companions to the regular man every day.  And yet, all we need is an opportunity to make a difference, and many of us rise to the occasion with spectacular wonderfulness. 

Perhaps, just perhaps, there is hope for humanity.  Perhaps there are enough of us who truly care, enough to make a difference in the world. 

What has Raushanna, Wiccan Second Degree Initiated Priestess and Third Degree Dedicant taken away from this Christmas day?  I have realized that this day is not about being Christian, it is not about celebrating the birth date of someone who may have lived 2,000 years ago. It is not about the man in the red suit with the big belly and white beard and rosy cheeks, packing his bag full of presents into his reindeer-pulled sleigh.  It is not about cars with big red bows on top of them appearing in our driveways.  We associate Christmas with giving and receiving, no matter what our own personal experiences and memories of past holidays are, and sadly, modern advertising has gradually tipped that balance towards focusing on the receiving side. After all, “What did you get for Christmas?” is the question of the day. Today I realize this tipping of the balance is doing us all a grave spiritual disservice. 

We define the spirit of this day as being about connections and hope and love, not about what church we attend or what name we assign to our God or our religion.  At least that is how we say we define the spirit of this day, and perhaps in the end, this is the saving grace of the season this year.  Most of us anticipate Christmas morning, and hope that somehow we will find a moment of joy.  And despite the stresses and worries and bleak outlook of our times, enough of us are still expecting that miracle.  I guess the combined expectations of many that something special will manifest is sometimes powerful enough to erode away the strongest shield of pain, disconnect, disappointment or disillusionment.

This year, these lovely moments seem to be at least in part about giving rather than receiving, despite the advertising industry’s attempt to redirect that focus.  These lovely moments are about deciding that this year's gifts aren't going to be about who can give the most cutting edge or expensive or awesome gift, but rather about deciding that a simple gift chosen with the true need of the recipient in mind is more important than how good the gift can make the giver look.  To me, the important lesson here is the realization that it does not matter to me how many presents I receive during this holiday season. What really matters to me, what pleases me with an intensity that balances out my recent nights of despair, is seeing the smile of joy and connection to another on someone's face, and knowing that I am at least partly responsible for that smile.  This is what Christmas is really about.

Merry Christmas!

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