My Thoth card is the Six of Disks reversed. “Success” is Crowley’s keyword for the Six of Disks (Moon, feelings and emotions, illusion, imagination, in Taurus, “I have,” Sensual, cautious, stubborn), which has been appearing often in my Thoth throws. In an upright position, the success told of by this card is not necessarily a good thing. Crowley sees this card as being heavy, as indicating the approach of a weight that will end up dragging us down, and he sees it as a reminder that success is a temporary thing. Perhaps since this card is reversed, it might be important for me to re-examine my processes to be sure they are strong enough. “The Thoth Companion” states that this card is a combination of Geburah and Chesed. Geburah (Might) is the fifth sephira on the Tree, the second on the Pillar of Form/Restriction, and also known as Judgment, and Fear. The manifestations of this sephira can indeed be difficult, but they are actually an opportunity for growth and evolution. The effects of Geburah and just as necessary for balance and health as are those of Chesed. Chesed (Mercy) is the fourth sephira on the Tree, the second on the Pillar of Force/Expansion, and the first to represent actuality. It is seen as the Hall of Masters and the Sphere of the Adepts, for it is within the energies of Chesed that the Ascended Masters or Ancient Ones reside. Chesed brings to us the understanding of perfect love, for love cannot happen without understanding. The two make a pair, as mercy and might are directly connected. One cannot operate with true balance unless it has experienced the influence of the other. Material success brings with it responsibilities. We need to manifest the bounties of our success in a way that does not separate us from others (by raising ourselves onto a pedestal of ego), and in a way that does not cause the bounties to become burdens. It appears that this is important for me today, and I may not be applying this information in the correct manner.
My Legacy card is the Six of Wands reversed (another reversed 6), flavored by the Eight of Wands. The Six of Wands (Jupiter, expansiveness and growth, justice, fortune, in Leo, “I am,” passionate, dramatic, noble, authoritative) expresses the celebration we feel when we have passed some test. My card is reversed today, and thus recognition or acclaim, or knowledge in my own mind that I have succeeded, may not be readily apparent. My reversed Six of Wands is being flavored by the Eight of Wands (Mercury, reason, intelligence, education, skill, communication, in Sagittarius, “I seek,” philosophic, fun-loving, adventurous, blundering), which is telling me that I need to be real alert because either some important news is coming, or some sudden movement will be happening that is important to me. I should most definitely not rest on my laurels today!!
My 6-digit date number is 9, the number of completeness of experience.
My horoscopes: “You're in the process of learning how to dream again. These last few months have been hard because your possibilities have felt limited. You've done a lot of work recently to try to align your fantasy life with reality. The result of this effort is that your desire to realize your dreams has increased! Go after them, but gently.”
And: “Too much work and the resulting pressure over the past few days may have you feeling too tired to do anything more, although your optimism and enthusiasm are still intact. Don't be too hard on yourself if you find yourself dragging at the end of the day. If you take care of yourself, you'll soon recharge your batteries and be your old self again in a couple of days. In the evening: relax at home with a good book.”
And my new one: “It's tough to set healthy limits today because the Moon squares your key planet Jupiter. You might mistakenly believe that if a small quantity of something special is good, then a larger amount is definitely better. Unfortunately, this kind of thinking could land you in a pile of trouble, especially if you must deal with the consequences of overindulgence. Be smart and stop before it's too late.”
My Shadowscapes Insight is regarding The Emperor. Leadership, strength, law and order, the creation of order out of chaos. The Emperor’s skills and abilities can make all this happen, but only within the realm of the man-made world. Because we are humans, we desire to control our world and we desire to write our story and gain our authority. We believe that we are doing the best for us and for all who look to us, so our intention is important.
I’ve just completed a very pleasing, very fattening, and very busy weekend. We had our traditional holiday meal this past Saturday evening, what I call our “cook a cow” dinner for the family, a sit-down dinner for 18 of prime rib. This dinner usually takes a minimum of two days’ work, one day to set up and one day to clean up. This year, it took me a bit longer on the clean-up end because my sister-in-law was here from California, so most of Sunday was spent out of the house, at even more get-togethers, so the family could be together as much as possible before Ellen left for California. Now, all I have to do is lose the weight I gained, LOL, so I can make it through the two parties I have next weekend and still fit into my clothes.
I am reading a Kindle book, a collection of essays actually, called “That Is That: Essays About True Nature,” by Nirmala. The very first essay in the collection, called “Being In The Present Moment,” talks about the power of the mind to edit our memories so that we believe things are happening more often than they actually are. Am I a pessimistic person? Then I will believe that things always go wrong for me, even though they rarely do. And I will be supporting the very things I really don’t want to happen (Or do I? Now there is a question to be answered.) because I am living as if I know they are definitely going to happen. Even a First Degree Dedicant knows that the ability to believe that something will happen is the first skill to be learned in order to do magick. Am I an optimistic person? Then I will believe that good things happen on a regular basis, because my mind and my memory will edit out the bad things.
Now here is the important part of the essay. The kinds of validations described above can be quite powerful, but there is an easier way to reward ourselves with a nice dose of endorphins: we can pay attention to the current moment. Simple, yes? Well, maybe not. But worth the effort.
The past is over and done with. Yes, our minds can tweak our memories, but we can’t change the past. The future is an unknown. But the present is real, and it is true, and it is accurate. Everything I am experiencing right now, from the aftertaste of the sandwich I just finished eating to the sound of my keyboard as I type to the blue sky and bright sunshine outside my window are real and in some way significant, unlike the thoughts I may have about what my afternoon will be like.
According to this essay, it is natural for my mind to assume that what actually happens is what matters. But this is not true! It is not necessarily what happens that makes a particular moment fulfilling and satisfying and worthwhile, it is my awareness of what is happening that makes that moment fulfilling and satisfying and worthwhile!
Look at it this way: if I only focus on what is actually happening, I will always judge the events. After all, there might be something wrong with what I’m doing, or maybe there could be some better thing happening that might make me happier or richer or more beautiful, if only I could make it happen for me. I end up focusing on what should be happening, rather than what is really happening.
“But what if the most important thin is that we are aware of what is happening? What if what really matters is both the nature of awareness and the specific quality of our awareness in this moment? This is the nine-hundred pound gorilla in the room that nobody is talking about. The awareness of the present moment is a constant feature of every moment. This awareness is a complete mystery, and yet it is the source of all the joy, peace, happiness, satisfaction, and love we have ever had. It may seem like satisfaction and happiness come from what is happening, but satisfaction and happiness come from the flow of awareness of whatever is happening.” And: “The real treasure in this moment is always to be found in the awareness of this moment, not in the content of our experience.” Yes!!! It really is as simple as that. I love when my own beliefs and experiences are validated by another! But there was an important “icing-on-the-cake” concept in this essay, too. “You are not the content of your experience, you are the awareness that brings life and joy to every experience.” [my emphasis added] [From “Being In The Present Moment,” by Nirmala.] Now, that is important to me personally. I think I judge myself mainly because of this one concept, because I equate myself with the content of any particular experience, and the outcome or consequences of that experience. If I see myself instead as the awareness of an experience, effect or situation, I will take away from that experience, effect or situation only good things.
This is a skill worth cultivating.
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