June 27, 2016:
Okay, so I felt this coming for a while. My disconnect has pushed me and circumstances
allowed me to do a very effective meditation. Once I knew I was in deep, I opened my mind, and whispered,
“Okay, I’m ready. What are you
trying to tell me?”
I found myself standing before a stream in a wooded area,
right where I stood last night with E (during a PBT evening). I was alone, dusk was approaching and
random lightning bugs were waking up, and it was sprinkling. I could hear the raindrops hitting the
leaves on the trees, and I could see some of the closer leaves as they jerked
and flopped when a raindrop hit them.
I heard a rustling in the undergrowth, and there before
me appeared a gnome about 3 feet tall, looking just like a garden gnome only
dressed in browns and dark greens.
He handed me a large mushroom to use as an umbrella, and then with a
wave of his hand, said, “Come! Come!”
He began to walk away, looking back until he was sure I was following
him.
Across the stream we splashed. Yes, my feet were wet; I paused to attempt to take off my
shoes, but the gnome hissed, “Come!”
So I splashed across the mud and water, feeling kind of silly as I held
the mushroom over my head to keep my hair dry yet waded through the water with
my shoes on, and climbed up the far bank.
Into the trees we headed. I
hurried to keep up; it was getting darker, and the fireflies were blinking all
around me. We weaved in and out of
the trees, until we stopped before a huge boulder.
The boulder was mostly round, and taller than I was. Obviously moved here during the last
ice age and never moved again, it was surrounded by bushes and small
trees. The gnome waved me around
to the far side of the boulder, and pointed at the large split that created a
dark vertical crevice in the huge stone.
“In!” he hissed.
When I looked at him with eyebrows raised, he hissed again. “In! In!” He pointed at the vertical slit, and then reached out and
took my mushroom umbrella. Again,
he pointed to the slit.
“Okay, okay!”
I said. I paused, looked at
the dark hole, then back at the gnome.
Once more, he pointed to the opening. I moved close enough to put my hands on the rock, then
turned sideways and slipped in.
I expected to get jammed immediately, but as soon as I
slid between the two sides of the crack, I was somewhere else. Ahead of me the crack stretched way
deeper than it should have, given the size of the boulder it halved, with the
path forward dimly lit by the twilight outside. I slid forward with my body sideways, twisting and turning
as I slithered deeper. At one
point, I hit a tight spot and for a moment I feared that I was stuck.
“Shit.” I
breathed in, pushed hard, and popped forward.
Suddenly the narrow passage widened. I stopped moving forward because there
was no more light. I could not see
what was ahead of me past a couple of feet. Now what?
I heard the scraping of stone against stone, and then saw
a large shape moving out of the darkness.
It was tall, very tall, and massively bulky. I could not see much in the darkness, especially because the
creature’s skin seemed to be all browns and blacks, but I knew it was about 2
feet taller than I was. Its
shoulders were wide, its chest was wide; its head was massive, and it had horns
. . . not real long horns (which makes sense; kind of hard to move through
tunnels with long horns), but the diameter of each horn where it disappeared
into the side of the creature’s head was about the length of my hand, from the
heel of my hand to the tip of my middle finger. Its eyes were a dark brick red, with black irises and
pupils.
It stood still, as I looked it . . .er . . .him up and down. ‘Nuff said about that. “Who . . .” My throat closed, but then I gasped as I heard his name in
my mind. Not spoken out loud, but
clear as if he shouted his name.
Fomalhaut.
“No. You
can’t be.” I whispered
hoarsely.
“What did you think I would look like?” he asked,
dripping sarcasm, again not out loud but in my mind.
“What happened to the robed figure with the beautiful
tree pin?” My voice cracked as I said the word “pin,” and I swallowed.
“Pffft.” He
waved his massive, three-fingered hand dismissively. “That’s the way we Watchers look until the student is
ready.”
Shit.
“It’s time for you to wake up. Ground yourself, and then listen carefully, human.”
He went on to explain. It was time for me to begin to delve deeper into my personal
spiritual path and return toward actively evolving as a spiritual being. This is not about Sacred Mists, it is
about me, so I should not be looking for lessons created by other Seekers. Yes, I can research, and in fact I
should be researching like crazy.
Yes, I can share what is happening with those who I trust, and ask
questions or get advice if needed (and he frowned at me as he said this; I
guess I’m supposed to ask him first), but this is my Journey. And yes, I am to journal
everything. As always, these
things might be important in the future.
My job for now is to learn everything I can about
him. I am to get to know him “from
top to bottom, inside out,” to quote him.
I am to meditate about him, talk to him, become intimately (yeah, he emphasized that word) familiar with his
energies, and with my own energies as they are connected to my physical body,
its workings, and its abilities. I
am to continue working with my physical body and my energy body, and I am to
begin to deepen and broaden my personal experiences with the energies of the
world around me, both “the natural world and the concrete jungles of man, and
the manners in which they interact.”
His words.
I asked him if I was to become The Magician. “Nope,” he said. “He’s too pretty.” Really??
He rolled his eyes, then reminded me that I was moving forward, which meant that I was learning
new information, new metaphors, new visuals. Yes, the information I’ve already learned is important
(“even that pansy is important”), and I will definitely be using it as a
foundation, but I can’t allow that information to box me in. I asked him why I was starting with
North; I begin my Circle Castings in the East. He reminded me that when I first began to practice my Craft,
before joining Sacred Mists, I began my Circle Castings in the North, so North
is where we will begin.
“And don’t think that East is next,” he said,
gruffly. “This is not a Circle
Casting. I (again with the emphasis) will decide when you are done and where
you will go next.”
He continued explaining, answering my questions. Yes, my Elemental Guide, Ophion, looks
like a smoother, softer version of him because Ophion falls under his
auspices. Okay, I did know that;
an Elemental Guide would be ruled by the corresponding Watcher. He said that he looks similar to
Cernunnos because Cernunnos, a Horned God, is kind of his boss. Kind of. Deities are higher up on the “corporate ladder” than
Watchers. LOL, again, his
words. That makes sense too, since
the Sacred Masculine, especially the aspect of Horned God, is connected to the
physical world and its manifestations.
And yes, it is perfectly fine that I call him “Haftorang”; that is,
after all, one of his names.
He also warned me that I won’t be allowed to slip back
into lethargy. Yes, yes . . . he
knows all about the Saturn Return and Saturn in retro (he rolled his eyes here);
he does not care. It’s time to
wake up, and if I won’t do this willingly, he will slap me upside the head with
that cosmic 2 by 4.
$>
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