Thursday, October 21, 2010

Ten of Wands/Queen of Cups reversed. The Ten of Wands (Saturn, discipline, responsibility, limitations and resistance, caution, in Sagittarius, “I seek,” philosophic, fun-loving, adventurous, blundering) ends up to be the complete reverse of the Ace of Wands. This card tells me that the creative energy within me may have become detached from its spiritual source, and thus tasks that should be bringing me joy and fulfillment have instead become burdens. The Queen of Cups (cusp of Gemini, “I think,” curious, sociable intelligent, dual, and Cancer, “I feel,” sensitive, tenacious, nurturing, moody) in an upright position is considered to be the minor equivalent of The High Priestess; she is very in tune with her subconscious and she can easily hear and understand her Inner Voice. The reflections on the surface of the Water do not prevent her from seeing into its mysterious depths. Because she is reversed, she is reinforcing and validating the message of the Ten of Wands: unless all things are connected to Spirit in some way, they become meaningless burdens. This is important, I can feel it!

My Thoth card is the Prince of Swords reversed. Two reversed court cards today; I am being told how **not** to be. In an upright position, Crowley sees the Prince of Swords (cusp of Taurus, “I have,” sensual, stubborn, physical, sensual, and Gemini) as being pure intellect, filled with all kinds of different ideas that bounce off of each other like bumper cars, causing chaos because there is no focus, no grounding and no substance. There can be a danger of deviousness and cunning being misused today, as well as ruin coming from the misuse or misdirection (whether inadvertent or on purpose) of the pure Air energy around me, so I need to be alert and aware all through the day, not just right now as I explore this card, in order to head off or at least lessen the effects of any catastrophes. There might be a potential for a struggle to present itself, a competition of sorts with a rival; I need to diffuse that struggle, for today may not be the day for me to be the hero.

Hmmm . . . “I think,” “I feel,” and “I have,” all reversed, and all connected, by Gemini. Is that a road block? Or a suggestion for a new way to change my perceptions? A fast indeed!

My Legacy card is The Wheel reversed flavored by the Four of Coins. The Wheel (Fire, hot/separates and dry/shapes and spontaneous and impulsive change; Jupiter, expansiveness and growth, justice, fortune; Kaph, grasping hand; the Path between Netzach, the stimulating factors of emotion and inspiration, and Chesed, the place which crosses Da’ath and where forms and structure are stabilized and nurtured) in an upright position represents the cycles of life, of living, of the earth and Nature, and of the Universe, cycles that are ever in motion, always manifesting, always presenting important and powerful messages, but not coming from me. In fact, upright, the card tells me that not only are these cycles not coming from me, but I most likely won’t have an effect on their manifestation, so I am better off riding the wave and knowing that change will happen whether I want it to or not. The Four of Coins (Sun, the inner core of a person or situation, in Capricorn, “I build,” ambition, cunning, authority, caution) was in my card throw yesterday, but in a reversed position. Sounds like a progression is happening, and today is indeed turning out to be a day when I am realizing and recognizing that I have something precious in my possession, something that may be in part coming to me from the cycles around me, but not entirely; hence the reversed position of The Wheel. Whatever this valued possession is, at least for today it needs to be sheltered and protected and nurtured by me, in order for it to manifest in a complete and understandable way.

My 6-digit date number is 5, the number of motion. Yep; fer sher!!

My horoscopes: “Peace and harmony are in the regularly scheduled program for the day, but there is a good chance that there could be a warring force with strong opinions and vindictive tendencies. Hold onto your hat, Sagittarius, and make sure you have your actions well aligned with your soul or else you could be thrown into a battle that has nothing to do with you.”

And: “It's time to let go and let the universe have its way with you. First of all, there's no other way for things to go right now -- and anything is possible at the moment -- especially if it's something from the past. Your job is to surround yourself with loved ones who are good at saying 'Sure. Why not give it another shot?' You know exactly who to call, and you know they'll be supportive.”

And: “You may have an urge to invent new things. You feel compelled to create something, either in the artistic, technical, or philosophical fields. If only you would give yourself enough time to pursue these imaginings. Today, realize that concentration is the key to accomplishment. Put away such distractions as books, magazines, and newspapers, and you may well be surprised by the wealth of inspiration that comes to you.”

It is so awesome when I decide what I am feeling, and then either my cards or my date number or my horoscopes, or all of them, are pointing in exactly the same direction that I determined before I even looked at them. Today is one of those days!

I decided last night that I was going to make use of the information I learned from reading Raven Digitalis’s chapter on fasting; I was going to see my extreme efforts expended each morning as I get up 45 minutes early to exercise as a fast, as me giving up that extra 45 minutes of sleep. I decided that I would offer that discomfort to Kali Ma, my own Dark Goddess who teaches me that physical pleasures can be a distraction from learning and evolution. As soon as I made that decision, I realized that I should see my twice daily devotion to Hecate in the same way; something clicked inside of me as I made those decisions. Cool; this certainly is one thing that Hecate wanted me to discover!

So, when the alarm went off literally before dawn (this morning, sunrise was at 7:14, about twenty minutes after my alarm goes off) and I felt the urge to reset the alarm, I consciously dedicated my efforts as I denied myself that extra sleep to Kali Ma, and got out of bed. I went through my usual morning routine, making certain that I chanted to Hecate right before sunrise; the last thing I do before I leave is throw my cards of the day. As I opened each of my chakras and shuffled my decks, I became aware of a sense around me of preparation, of dealing with minor details. My cards gave that message and reminded me that I need to not fight those flows of energy, but rather ride the wave and make use of them. Okay, I can do that.

I got into my car and began my usual chakra opening/cleanse/balancing/Reiki application, and connected with my Spirit Guide, Ailm, as usual. She told me that everyone in her group was feeling uneasy, looking over their shoulders, because they felt that something was coming. She asked me if some big storm was on the way, because she could feel that sense of holding one’s breath and pausing before the plunge, just as I had been feeling it since I got up this morning. I told her that she should expect clouds and showers today, but nothing too potent; she shook her head and said once again that something was coming. To my surprise, my other Guides joined me as well; each of them watched me carefully, as if this morning’s meditation was a final exam and I was being graded on my skill level and on my presentation.

All day so far, I have been feeling the energy in my Hara Point as it revs up, activates and prepares for action; it is as if my subconscious knows of something of which my conscious awareness is totally unaware. While I have been feeling the presence of the Sacred Masculine these past days, as the God prepares to die and rest at Samhain before being reborn at Yule, this was not energy of the Sacred Masculine. While I have been turning my awareness more and more inward and to the Sacred Feminine as the cold and dark of Winter approaches, this was not Goddess energy that I was feeling. This is my own energy, and as I sit here typing, I can feel it awakening and flowing through me, touching base with each of the talents I have nurtured and the skills I have worked so hard to attain, waking each one up and sending them into “ready mode.”

Something is going to happen today, something important. I don’t get a sense of great evil or great joy, just great power. Whatever it is that will manifest today will not be inherently good or inherently evil, and it will have the potential to be turned into either a benefit or a disaster. Does it have something to do with the fact that the Veil is thinning as Samhain approaches? Does it have something to do with the fact that today is the first day that I have consciously offered with awareness a fast and the efforts and energies associated with it to Hecate and to Kali? What awareness is coming to me? What recommendation is being offered to me?

I have learned that as I immerse myself into my Craft and strive more and more to live each day with awareness of the many times that I am touched by the Sacred, I am more and more aware of the messages that are being offered to me. It is more than a coincidence that immediately after turning unpleasant tasks into offerings to the Gods, I suddenly receive this new level of awareness. Everything that I have learned thus far is important today. I need to be ready for anything, as I don’t know exactly what I am looking for, and I get the feeling that the event or effect may possibly not become apparent to me immediately, depending on where it is coming from.

Samhain corresponds to the Death card of the Tarot, which tells of the passing through a gateway into the unknown, with no methods available to turn back. It tells us that we are being pulled toward that gateway whether we want to be there or not, and so we are better off allowing ourselves to be brought to its threshold and then through to whatever is beyond. We are also told that there is absolutely nothing unnatural about this event; it is a valid and useful part of the cycles of the Wheel of the Year and of existence. Our task is to travel with awareness, and to learn from both the pleasant experiences and the uncomfortable or frightening experiences with equal enthusiasm.

I feel soooooo much already from just these few fasts, and the cool thing is that I have been doing them all already, just not with the intent to offer them as gifts to my Deities. All this in response to what amounts to a used gift?

Today, I am certainly treading upon the “event horizon.”

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