Nine of Wands/Nine of Swords. Two Nines! The Nine of Wands (Moon, feelings and emotions, illusion, imagination, in Sagittarius, “I seek,” philosophic, fun-loving, adventurous, blundering) tells of being pro-active in response to issues, of reaching a point of drawing a line in the sand and saying “no further!” The saying associated with this card is that if it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger, and I always try to see a challenge as an opportunity to test myself. Looks like there might be a few tests today. My other Nine, the Nine of Swords (Mars, action, spontaneity, aggression, in Gemini, “I think,” curious, talkative, social, dual) reminds me that I don’t have to carry my burdens alone. It also reminds me that sometimes my intellect can be my worst enemy, particularly at 3am! Worry is such a waste of energy, and visualizing the worst just might attract it to me.

The number 9 tells of complete*ness* (rather than the comple**tion** of the number 10); that is not always a good thing, and I happened to throw the two challenging Nines, rather than the nicer Nines of Cups and Pentacles. But challenges are good things, and if I can make it through the day with my sense of humor intact, without a trip to the pity potty, I will be happy.

My Thoth card is the Five of Wands. “Strife” is Crowley’s keyword for the Five of Wands (Saturn in Leo), and while this card indicates conflict, this could be a good conflict, such as competition, or a bad conflict, such as aggression and hostility. In any event, things are unstable, so a pro-active response is probably going to be necessary. After all, someone needs to make the decisions.

My Legacy card is Temperance reversed flavored by the Four of Coins. The upright Temperance card (Fire, hot/separates and dry/shapes, spontaneous, impulsive and energetic change; Sagittarius; Samekh, tent post; the Path between Yesod, the place where patterns and images emerge that may manifest into the physical plane, and Tiphareth, the hub of the creation process where energies harmonize and focus to illuminate and clarify) is one of my favorites. It tells of moderation, of a balance that is created and maintained by constant adjustment, and by the knowledge that trials and tribulations make us stronger. Since it is reversed, I may be facing issues of bad timing, of being “out of sync,” or maybe an overreaction. The Four of Coins (Sun in Capricorn) is presented in an interesting way in the Legacy Tarot: it represents the realization that we have something precious in our possession, and we need to protect it. This need to hover and protect can be a two-edged sword, because sometimes things and concepts of value need to be protected and nurtured in order that they may be manifested in the best way, but sometimes that protection brings only stagnation. Since this Four is flavoring a reversed Temperance card today, I get the feeling that any efforts on my part to control the flow or protect the process will not have positive results. Sometimes we need to allow things to progress on their own and our interference only prolongs the time of imbalance.

My 6-digit date number is 4, the number of depth and stability.

My horoscopes: “You might consider taking a short trip today, Sagittarius. Perhaps you need to get out of the house and go across town. Whatever it is, introduce your brain to a new reality. It's time to expand and explore. You itch to see new places and experience new things, either physically or mentally. Perhaps a religious sanctuary or quiet place in grove of trees is what you need in order to quench this inner thirst.”

And: “For days, it's been all about them -- everyone but you, that is. Enough. Enough with the care-taking, the sympathizing and the listening to sob stories. It's time for you to indulge in some much-needed playtime -- and there will be absolutely no reason for you to feel guilty. If necessary, sleep in tomorrow. If you're smart, you'll make sure tonight is so much fun that you'll need to.”

And: “It might be absolutely impossible for you to make a decision about anything today, but do your best. Don't be surprised if tension mounts, as you feel more and more pressured to make a move. Don't do anything until you are ready. The worst thing possible at this point is to make a rash decision. Be practical and grounded in your approach, despite how freedom loving and adventurous you may want to be.”

Samhain is only 11 days away. Less than two weeks!! And I am feeling this crossroad, this time of transformation, with quite a bit of strength. With very noticeable effects on my life.

Weeks ago, I was told that this segment of my Journey would not be an easy one, and this was correct. But I have survived thus far! I am stronger than ever, and I am learning to not be bothered by the negative opinions or words or actions of others. Not that I am ignoring them by any means, but I am not dwelling on them or allowing them to drag me down.

There is so much swirling around in my mind! I keep thinking of what I have learned about the Watchers. I keep thinking about what I have learned about Thai Massage and the subtle body. I keep learning about my chakra practices, and the new uses for their energies that have been given to me by my Patron. I keep thinking about my Reiki practice and the affects of my own daily Reiki applications. I just know that all of this information fits together, but I can’t quite see the configuration yet. But I will see!

Last night, during a meditation I did just after sundown, Hecate appeared to me, silent as always, but I got a nod of recognition of the efforts I have expended thus far to accomplish the goal She gave me: reciting my chants at sunrise and sundown. Not that I received any indication at all that I was done; no, I will need to continue, and I will need to strive to make my timing better. But even so, I feel that I am once again moving toward some unknown aha! moment that lies just beyond the horizon, and I am really excited about this! I was told in that same meditation by my own Patroness that the time of Transformation was nearly upon me, and I had better be a good Girl Scout and make certain that I was prepared.

During this meditation, besides connecting with Divine energies, I also connected with elemental energies, and I felt the beginnings of a new “flavor” to those energies; could this be related to my research of the Watchers? I feel that I need to be able to digest all that information and make it all a part of my Craft, and I am working on this as we speak. More meditations to come!

The cycle always repeats; this Summer a new level of understanding of the Machinery of the Universe was given to me. Now, it is time to begin again at a new level, to become once again a small fish in a big pond. Through the years of my studies at Sacred Mists, I have learned to relish these moments of changeover from being well versed on certain concepts to becoming a neophyte at a new level. This is what growth and evolution are all about. This is the Great Work. Somehow I get the feeling that my recent funk was a respite given to me to prepare for the next level; I don’t think it’s gonna be easy.

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