Seven of Cups/Queen of Swords. Mesmerizing choices will confront me today; I need to be strong and alert in order to see clearly, and avoid the pitfalls and traps disguised as pleasurable attainments. Very simple message!!

My Thoth card is the Six of Disks. “Success” in the physical realms! Brought to you by our sponsor, Balance. I should enjoy the balance that is happening, but I should also remember that this assistance by the elements is temporary and I need to be certain that I am prepared to take the helm when they ebb.

My Legacy card is The Chariot reversed (water, cold/binds and wet/adapts; Cancer, “I feel”; and Cheth, fence), “flavored” by The World (earth, cold/binds and dry/shapes; Saturn, discipline, limitations and resistance; and Thav, mark or sign). I am being told that today may no be a day of emotional control; I may not be able to effectively steer the “vehicle,” but the end result may not be so bad if I apply awareness and Balance.

My 6-digit date number is 5, the number of motion that keeps stagnation at bay.

My horoscopes: “Sometimes we all feel a little lost, Sagittarius. We often want to move mountains and use all our energy and enthusiasm to try to do so. But a few moments later we could feel that all efforts have been in vain. It pays to remember one of the hard facts of life - take nothing for granted. You shouldn't let that keep you from trying to makes changes to things around you. Be vigilant.”

And: “Don't make any rash judgments or leap to any conclusions today, Nancy. Misconception is in the air, and you wouldn't want to risk offending someone simply because you got the wrong impression. This is a day for observing, not acting. This may be difficult for you, leader that you are, but ultimately it will prove beneficial. You will find that you learn a lot about people simply by watching them.”

I am finally experiencing my “recovery” day; whenever I have three or four (or more) days in a row that are filled with effort and enthusiasm, I always end up spending one day in a fog as my body and my spirit take some time to regroup. I have a tendency to overeat on these days in an attempt to restart the energy factory in my body, but hopefully I won’t do too bad today.

I gave Bob a Thai Massage last night; I had a bit of stage fright at first, but to my joy, I very quickly went back to the mental place I was in during the workshop this weekend, and I felt comfortable. I love this modality!!

More on my workshop. On Saturday, we performed a Trataka meditation. Trataka is described as follows:

Trataka (Sanskrit, n., to look, or to gaze) is the practice of staring at some external object. It is used in yoga as a way of developing concentration, strengthening the eyes, and stimulating the Ajna chakra.

The Ajna chakra is positioned at the eyebrow region and has two white petals, said to represent the psychic channels, Ida and Pingala, which meet here with the central Sushumna nadi (channel) before rising to the crown chakra, Sahasrara. These petals also represent the manifest and unmanifest mind, as well as the pineal and pituitary glands. “Ham” is the letter of the left petal, and “ksham” is the letter of the right petal, representing Shiva and Shakti, respectively. “Pranava Om,” the supreme sound, is the bij, or seed mantra of this chakra.

Ajna is considered the chakra of the mind. When something is seen in the mind's eye, or in a dream, it is being “seen” by Ajna. Residing in the chakra is the deity Ardhanarishvara a hermaphrodite form of Shiva-Shakti, symbolizing the primordial duality of subject and object, and the deity Hakini Shakti is also present in this chakra.

In kundalini yoga, different practices are said to stimulate the Ajna chakra, including Trataka (steady gazing), Shambhavi Mudra (gazing at the space between the eyebrows), and some forms of Pranayama (breath exercises).

In Trataka's first stage, the practitioner fixes his attention on a symbol or yantra, such as the Om symbol, a black dot, or the image of some deity, and stares at it, paying attention to each thought and feeling as it arises, and letting them go, so that the mind is completely absorbed in the symbol. The practice continues until the eyes begin to water, at which point they are closed, and relaxed.

The second stage is staring at a candle flame. The practice is the same up until the eyes begin to water, after which the eyes are closed, and the yogi tries to concentrate on the after image, and hold it for as long as possible. At first, it will be a real after-image, but later, it will exist only in the mind's eye, and the exercise in concentration comes from trying to maintain it there for a long period of time.

Trataka is supposedly the technique which sadhakas use to develop psychic powers. Trataka on the Sun or one's own mirror image is considered to be extremely powerful, but without a guru's assistance it can be dangerous to try these.

From Wikipedia

The version we performed was the second stage, staring at a candle flame. We all sat around the room, all 25 of us, each with a lit tealight candle on the window sill before us (the sill was a perfect height). We began breathing slowly and silently, and stared at the flame, trying not to blink. Impossible for me as I wear contact lenses (even when I am not wearing them, I find that I need to blink more often), or so I thought. I relaxed and breathed slowly and looked at the flame. To my delight, I realized that I did not need to blink! I gazed at the flame; I blinked only once or twice and then was able to gaze at the flame once again without blinking.

Soon, I noticed that the flame appeared to have a heartbeat. The rhythmic pulsing of the base of the flame, the darkest and most inner part, was pulsing like the heart of an unborn child as it appears on a sonogram! After a bit, I sensed the flam expanding, encompassing me, and then pulling back as if it was a timid or shy animal (which is a strange visual for Fire). I kept luring it back to me, and each time it would stay a bit longer, its center pulsing steadily.

Then Mukti told us all to close our eyes. I could instantly see the afterimage of the tealight, with a blue iridescent flame, but if I focused too intently on it, the image disappeared. After a few tries, I was able to adjust the tension of my eyes so that I could look at the image steadily. For a moment, I saw a much larger tealight imposed onto the life sized image. Then, the dark blue flame turned into the iris and pupil of an eye. As I watched, the eye morphed into a face, the most lovely and beautiful face I had ever seen. I will use the pronouns “she” and “her” because the face seemed feminine, but because I could not see hair or body, I am not certain. She had high cheekbones, but her features were soft, not bony. Her skin was porcelain and smooth; no lines or folds marred her countenance. She had full, lush lips, the corners raised ever so slightly. And she looked right at me without blinking.

She was so incredibly beautiful that tears began to fall down my cheeks and my lower lip trembled as I resisted the urge to sob. As I enjoyed gazing into her beautiful eyes, I heard a voice speak although her lips remained in their “Mona Lisa smile”; the voice whispered, “You are loved.”

Then, Mukti ended the meditation.

I don’t know who she is, but I am certain that I will find her, and find her soon. I sense that she is important to me at this time in my life, but I am trying to not impose any expectations on her at all. I can still see her, and I am very eager to try this again. Trataka should be done every day over a period of several days, and I am going to attempt to perform the meditation before bed.

More to come!

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