Okay, so I did a “duh” thing and left my Welsh and Thoth decks in Cape May. So, I will be doing something different this week: I will be doing a Mind/Body/Spirit reading for myself each day, using my Legacy Tarot. Actually, this just might be a good thing for me to do this week. I will pull three cards, and then turn over the fourth card, which will give me the recommended “flavor” of the other three.

So here we go. My spread today is Mind: Ten of Wands reversed; Body: Ten of Cups; Spirit: The Lovers (Strength reversed). Wow, powerful cards. First, the “flavor” card: Strength reversed. In an upright position, the Strength card corresponds with the element of Fire ( hot/separates and dry/shapes), Leo (“I am,” passionate, independent, selfish) and Teth (sieve or basket; digestion); Strength was also called Fortitude, and it tells of self-discipline, courage and gentleness. Because it is reversed, I am being told that these traits may not serve me today. On to the reading.

The Ten of Wands in an upright position tells of the debilitating burden of chain reactions gone wild. This card indicates that my mental self is doing her best to carry the burdens of the workings of my mind and my intellect, but the hugeness of the burden is becoming a major strain, pushing me almost to the breaking point. Because this card is reversed, I am being told that even though I feel I am at the end of my ability to endure, there is still more strength within me, and I am being reminded that I will not experience satisfaction unless I do my best to endure to the end. I am also being told that it is okay to collapse for a bit; taking a rest from Fortitude for just a little while may allow me to hang tough until the end.

Ten of Cups, another 10 card! This card tells of emotional contentment, and since it is in the Body position and thus, represents my physical world, I am being told that today I may actually end up in a place of emotional serenity. The advice of the Legacy Ten of Cups is that “everything is perfect the way it is.” As long as I do my best, I need to be content and pleased with the results; doing my best assures that contentment, for there could be no other outcome.

The Lovers is a card of personal choices. The element of Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts), Gemini (“I think,” sociability, duality, intelligence) and Zayin (the two-edged sword) are the correspondences of this card, and since it is a Major Arcana card, the message is sweeping and far-reaching. Personal choices are indeed on my mind today, and this card tells me that I am at a time when the choices are difficult ones. But worth the effort!!

My 6-digit date number is 5. The number of movement. Ordinarily, this would scare me but since everything has been chaos, this movement will be in a good direction.

We had a dozen guests (literally 12) in Cape May, all of them staying at a small motel nearby, but all spending their days with us at The Blue Moon House. We walked, we biked, we sat on the beach. We cooked, we went out to dinner. I really, really needed this time of laughing and hanging out with caring friends.

I do not have a final resolution to my job worries, and won’t have this resolution until into July. My plan to spend four days in Cape May is going to need to be changed, but I am not slowing my efforts. I may end up working most weekends this Summer (and in fact, I hope that I will be), but this career change is important to me, important enough to give up my weekends

I am reminding myself of what I have learned about Thresholds and Guardians. I keep picturing the Legacy of the Divine Seven of Wands, which shows the image of a doorway at the top of some steps, guarded by a warrior with a wand tipped with a glowing crystal; behind the Guardian there is a glimpse of a star field, a Universe waiting to be accessed if only I am able to pass the test of the Guardian. I am thinking also about The Wheel of Fortune and the possibilities that the energies of this card present to me. Yes, it is true that I cannot control the events that appear and their affects on the directions, ebbs and flows of energies around me. But what I can control is what I choose to do in reaction to those ebbs and flows and directional movements. I need to remember that I can achieve the same end result through lunar magick by adjusting the viewpoint of my working to the waxing energies from new moon to full moon and the waning energies from full moon to dark moon. That is the power I **do** have, and all of my studies and exercises and practices have been preparing me for such a moment: an important time when I need to use **everything** at my disposal.

I am a Second Degree Initiated Wiccan and a Third Degree Dedicant of the Sacred Mists Coven; I am part of a strong magickal partnership that is named Lumina Mystica, with the “Lumina” part being my energies and efforts and presence I have done the work necessary to take those titles, and I am going to take every event and effect that presents itself and make it work for me. I am a proud member of the Pagan Brain Trust.

I feel as if I just climbed a high mountain. There are peaks still to be tackled, but because I have made it this far, I am strong and in shape.

Speaking of being in shape, I have been really working hard to prepare for my Thai Massage class this weekend, three 8-hour days. I am working hard, and really connecting with my body; I am feeling strong, and I am often feeling Cernunnos, who has been encouraging me to get into better shape since the beginning of this year. Friday night, while driving down to Cape May, I had an incredible moment, brief and very powerful, as I passed mile marker 54. For just a moment, I sensed His presence and I sensed the rightness of the cycles of life, even the difficult ones; the glimpse of the Machinery of the Universe caused intense joy and intense sorrow to shoot through me in a way that I can't describe (but anyone who has been blessed with a glimpse of the Machinery knows of this sensation).

Muscles get stronger when they are stressed. Cernunnos is making certain that not only is my body being challenged, but my mind and my Will are also being challenged. I am sore, physically and emotionally sore, and tired; but I am grateful to be alive. Indeed, the stresses and worries are making me feel very, very alive. How cool is that?!

$