I firmly believe that we are alive, we have been given this gift of life with all its tears and joys, in order to experience it to the fullest, every part of it. I believe that one of our tasks is to connect with and value every part of the cycles of our world, and I believe that another of our tasks is to connect with and value ourselves, including both the workings of the vehicle that is our physical body and the “drive force” that is our mind and intellect.

I believe that just before each major advance, we come to a threshold. I believe that our Guides, both spiritual and of the physical world, are tasked to assist us in preparing to pass that threshold (just as I am tasked to assist those around me), and I believe that life circumstances will seem to randomly steer me towards the next threshold I am to cross. Unfortunately, this process is even more difficult. Like the experience of the God, Lugh, when I come to a threshold, there will be a Guardian who will determine if I am worthy of and prepared to cross.

I must believe that I am standing before one such Guardian, right now. Even my Patroness, Danu, has told me so. Right before She faded into the distance. Apparently, I am to take at least the first steps on my own, although I can feel Uriel, somewhere, watching me.

Everything in my life had been moving forward with ease; not only have I been able to help others in an effective way, but I have been able to advance my own goals, and everything seemed to be falling into place. Then, ca-chunk; everything halted. I still have no idea when my job will end, and rumor has it that there is a potential for this to drag on for months. Yes, that means that my paychecks will still be there, but the Summer is a window of opportunity for my new business ideas that I don’t want to miss. Last Tuesday began a new cycle of dance classes; my class of 8 is, at least as of last Tuesday, a class of 0. Yes, 0. Zero. No students. Granted, one of my students just had a baby, one just had surgery for an abdominal hernia, and two (who drive together) told me at the end of the last session that money was an issue, but that is half. Okay, losing half of my students is not good, but two of the four will come back. I now have a cold, and a touch of laryngitis, plus, I have had two muscle spasms in my shoulders since I came back from the Dominican Republic. Thankfully, I know what to do to mitigate their effects, and granted a muscle spasm is a great catalyst to remind me to do my morning exercises. I have been watching what I eat, and walking regularly. But that darned scale is not budging a bit. And finally, all hell broke loose on the Sacred Mists Reiki Board, and despite my efforts, things are not looking good. Not irreparably broken by any means, but there is still a lot of work to do in order to help my two Co-Facilitators to stop bashing each other in the head.

**sigh**

And so, I am doing something a little different today; instead of throwing my usual set of cards from my Welsh, Thoth and Legacy Tarots, I am doing a Mind/Body/Spirit reading for myself using the Pearls of Wisdom Tarot (Goddess knows, I need some pearls of wisdom right about now!). I will write out this reading as if I was doing a professional reading for a paying Seeker, speaking to myself as if I am a separate person. Hopefully when I come back to re-read this later in the day, there will be some kind of advice in the reading that will resonate for me.

Mind: Nine of Wands. The suit of Wands represents creativity and passion and transformation, all of which take place or at least begin in the mind, so this card appearing in this position needs to be listened to. The astrological symbolism of this card is the Moon (feelings and emotions, illusion, imagination) in Sagittarius (“I seek,” philosophic, adventurous, scattered). That itself is a message because Sagittarius is your sun sign, and The High Priestess is your significator and she is connected to the Moon. The High Priestess is indeed a gatekeeper, and she carefully guards the secrets and knowledge in her care so that it is only given to those who are ready for the responsibilities and power that come with those secrets and that knowledge. The presence of this card indicates difficulties to come, or that are already here, but it also tells you that even if you are tired and wounded, you have the ability to create a strategic defense through a carefully implemented offense. This card tells you to remind yourself of the poem, “When Things Go Wrong As They Sometimes Will,” and to encourage yourself because this may very well be the last peak to be climbed and the Journey may be more downhill and easier to accomplish very soon. You are reminded of Crowley’s words, “Change is stability and stability needs change,” and you are reminded that we cannot know if we have courage unless we fear, and we cannot know if we have inner strength unless we are tested. In a way, these challenges are a compliment to you for they are not measly little bumps in the road, oh no! They are huge craters, moguls large enough to make the most experienced downhill skier nervous, and misdirections and blind alleys that would cause Magellan to come to a halt. But you will never realize with both your mind and your heart that these challenges will not stop you unless they appear and block your way. And the first step in overcoming them is knowing in your mind, believing, that you can overcome.

The image on the Pearls of Wisdom Nine of Wands is a bit different from the traditional images of this card. Instead of the usual wounded warrior steadfastly guarding his Wands, this card shows a woman running down a path, holding a wand over her head with a smile on her face. The path is lined with other Wands, and the sun is shining in the sky behind her, but the image reminds me of the sensation of running down a steep hill. Yes, that may be a way to get down the hill quickly, but much effort will need to be expended in order to take advantage of the slope without losing control or taking a false step, and crashing. The description of the card is: “Moving away from expected difficulties. Strategic withdrawal. Precarious positioning. Running towards one’s destiny. False jubilation.”

Body: Nine of Pentacles reversed. The suit of Pentacles represents everything in the material world, and since this card has appeared in the Body position (which also focuses on everything in the material world), its message is doubly important. In an upright position, this card tells of completeness of experience within a cycle of both the physical world and the spiritual, and because of that completeness, there is the beginning of an integration of the physical and the spiritual. After all, a lifetime of discipline and hard work brings physical comfort and spiritual fulfillment. However, both physical comfort and spiritual fulfillment must be worked for, and since the card is reversed, my work is not completed. The card is there, so the possibility of achieving the ease and fulfillment of the Nine of Pentacles is present, but you are not yet connecting with that possibility and you must work harder to reach out for the card and flip it so the bottom becomes the top. Because this card is of the physical realms, you will need to make physical efforts to make the energies of this card manifest. And your efforts are not over once that manifestation materializes, for this card tells you that you cannot allow the accumulation of physical ease and bounty to be your only focus, and along with accumulating the wealth, you must also strive to make that wealth work for you. After all, there is quite a bit of pleasure to be had from knowing that your comforts are well-deserved. The astrological correspondence for this card is Venus (beauty, allure, pleasure) in Virgo (“I serve,” practical, sensible, orderly), and those two apparent opposites are working together seamlessly when the Nine of Pentacles is upright.

The image on the Pearls of Wisdom Nine of Pentacles is another joyous one. Unlike the Nine of Wands, the woman on this card is seated and she is surrounded by pentacles. They are raining down upon her, using the rays of the sun as pathways; that sun shines above a rainbow which is glistening between two banks of clouds. The woman is surrounded by banners, from which jewel colored streamers flow in the breeze, and what look like birthday candles; her arms are raised triumphantly over her head and there is a crystal in each palm, with a rainbow, mirroring the one in the sky, between her crystals. If I reverse the card, it appears that a few of her coins are flowing back to their source (the sun), but most of them are staying on the ground; I get the feeling that all is not lost! The description of the card in an upright position is: “A long-term project joyfully completed. Accomplishment. Harvest time. The feeling of well-being and wholeness. Deliverance. A time of new beginnings. A promise of material security and creature comfort.”

Spirit: Five of Wands. Another Wands card, and this one tells of motion, uncomfortable motion, that stirs things up for good or bad. The energies of the Five of Wands tell of conflict, both outer conflict that manifests through a period of “turnsta” when everything you touch seems to turn to dog poop, and inner conflict that manifests through choices whose recommended answers are conflicting as the mind, the heart and the conscience strive for supremacy. Whether outer or inner, the annoyances and conflicts are primitive and seemingly uncontrollable in nature, and there is a pervasive “every man for himself” attitude that adds to the difficulty of getting cooperation, darn it! The suit of Wands is about creativity and the implementation of new ideas, but for now, each idea seems to be selfishly trying to take the lead, with the result of absolutely nothing being accomplished. Saturn (discipline, responsibility, resistance) in Leo (“I am,” passionate, independent, selfish) can be a powerful combination, and getting five of them together and supporting each other is a daunting task.

The image on the Pearls of Wisdom Five of Wands shows five acrobats preparing to do a trick that seems to involve balance and cooperation, yet each of them is looking at his or her wand instead of working together to accomplish the trick. To the onlooker it is pretty obvious that they will fail unless they become aware of each other rather than focusing only on themselves, but they each are oblivious. The description of the card is: “Difficulties in communication. Refusal to acquiesce or compromise. Managing a situation that is difficult. Balance is only temporary if achieved. Trying to attain your goal without consultation or cooperation. Arguments, frustration, struggle."

I pulled a clarification card, and threw The Magician reversed. **sigh** Yeah, tell me something I don’t know. The Magician is the Conduit who is able to make use of the effects of the elements with skill and ability to manifest his goals. Each of the suits of the Minor Arcana are available to him and at his disposal, and this card tells you that you already have the full deck in your hands, but you are not choosing to accept it. You have the powers of alchemy that allow you to understand the laws of the Universe and to access and make use of the flows of energy around you, but these gifts will not work by themselves. You have to choose to accept them, you have to choose to reach out your hand and grasp them, and you have to choose to use their powers and effects to get what you want.

No easy answer here, but then again I really did not expect one. The gifts are out there; if I want ‘em, I need to be ready for ‘em, and I need to reach out and grab ‘em myself, because no one else is going to hand them over to me. The carrot at the end of the stick is that I will succeed, or worst case I will know that I gave over 100% and it was not meant to be.

Time to re-read my thoughts about “threshold” and the Great Work.

My horoscope for today: “You're likely to find people somewhat irritating today, Sagittarius. It's as though nothing is good enough and nobody seems to know exactly what he or she wants. You'll reign supreme within this conflict and dissatisfaction. You may even be asked to step in and restore order. If the conflict is on the domestic front, go ahead. But tread carefully if you're asked to take on the role of sheriff!”

My 6-digit date number is 6. Balance? I hope so!!

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