The Chariot reversed/Nine of Wands reversed. Two reversed cards today; The Chariot (Water, cold/binds and wet/adapts; Cancer, “I fee,” home oriented, nurturing, moody; and Cheth, fence) is about controlling your emotions but not to the extent that you repress them. Nine of Wands shows a dynamic defense, and a will to go on despite obstacles. Both cards are reversed, so these inner strengths will be blocked today, and difficult to tap into (but not impossible; after all, the cards are there).

My Thoth card is the Queen of Wands. Calm pride bordering on snobbery is what Crowley sees in this Queen. She is Water of Fire, and while she has a commanding presence, she needs to remember that her personal power should be used to help others and better her world. The Thoth Queen seems to be looking down from a high place; I am reminded that authority needs to be used for the best interests of all, not just my own.

My Legacy card is Strength. This card corresponds with Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes), Leo “I am,” passionate, independent, selfish), and Teth (sieve or basket, digestion). This card is the next step after The Chariot (which is about being able to control conflicting emotions), and tells of being able to successfully control emotions, and rise above them. This card tells of the presence of self-discipline, and of courage, and reminds me that while I might not want to seek out challenges, I should not avoid them either if they present themselves.

My horoscope: “There is the likelihood that you've been a bit of a loner lately. It's as though you decided to look at things differently from the rest of the world, rejecting the individualistic viewpoint in favor of a more global one. Today, you may achieve a new phase in this process. You may attain some summit of consciousness from which you finally have the ability to forgive!”

And: “A new sense of commitment to service to others, particularly those less fortunate than yourself, could fire your natural idealism today. Health issues or animal rights might be on your mind. This concern might possibly be job-related, but it is more likely that this is an enterprise that you decide to pursue on your own. It also benefits you, as it increases your self-confidence and belief in yourself.”

My 6-digit date number is 3, which tells of the concept of “surface” and “location” and of something new created through potential and manifestation.

I was feeling so tired last week, so I took a mini-vacation this weekend. I spent both days working in the garden. My back may be a bit sore, but everything is in good shape, with edging and cleanup of brick sidewalks and patios, and grass, and bushes all taken care of. Plus, I did not even pull Tarot cards and hardly checked my emails at all; I really felt used up, and really needed to unplug for a bit.

I think I made the right choice because I feel re-energized today.

Sean and I had some deep discussions yesterday afternoon, one of which prompted some thought this morning as I drove up from Cape May. We talked about God, and what exactly we believed that God was and was not. I was not able to put into words what I felt; not in a lucid and coherent manner. And so, I thought about what exactly I believe God or Deity to be.

In thinking about this, I was brought back to my powerful aha! moment at mile marker 113.9, regarding DNA. That was the moment when I realized that DNA might just be the real image of God, not humanity. I still believe this to be true, that DNA is a snapshot if you will of Deity (not actually Deity, just like a snapshot of me would not actually be me). But I realized that I needed to bring this description to the next level.

To me, Deity is manifest within the life force, the Universal All for the lack of a better description. Everything that is alive has some form of Deity within them, whether they are pond scum or Stephen Hawkings, and everyone and every thing alive manifests according to its own instructions. This means that pond scum is no less important than Mr. Hawkings.

That sacred essence that is life seems to be subject at some level to the will of the people and things that are alive; the mores sophisticated the life form, the more detailed and effective the results will be. This means that if you are basically a good and ethical person, any Deity that calls you may be a good and ethical Deity; if you tend to be power hungry or selfish, any Deity that you visualize will tend to be strict and authoritative. Not true 100%, and I am not certain about this part of my theory.

To me, this means that Yahweh is no less valid a Deity than Danu. Each is a construct or thoughtform, created and maintained by the worship and/or hatred of many humans (and yes, hatred is just as powerful as love and worship as far as creating and imposing personality traits onto the thoughtforms that are the individual Goddesses and Gods), created from the neutral yet very potent energy that is the Universal All and the sacred feminine (which is pure potential and fertility).

Our vehicles in the physical realms are our physical bodies, and it makes sense that much of what modern man experiences is of the physical realms, unless we try to broaden our range of experiences to include the non-physical. It is very easy for us to sense most physical world effects because our senses work through our physical vehicles, and it makes sense that our technology tends to be able to only effectively measure physical events and effects. And that could be why so many of us have lost the ability to sense non-physical realm effects; it’s kind of like relying on an elevator to get to your job and thus, having big problems if you need to walk up the stairs one day.

Gods and Goddesses are not of the physical realms, so their “vehicles” are made of energy. When we worship Them, we tend to want to humanize them. It makes them easier to understand and accept if our Gods and Goddesses have a few human traits. Because our expectations have power, we end up creating an energy vehicle for the expected traits; thus, we end up with a specific Deity, which is actually a vehicle (a thought form) that contains the energy or essence of life, and which has amazing powers (at least from our physical vehicle viewpoint), because the effects of our world are all subject to their intentions.

But I believe that the Universal All, the “stuff” of life, exists even in a free form. The energy is neutral, and tends to have limitations imposed upon it depending upon what physical vehicle it is inserted into, but those limitations are not written in stone. That could be why some individual life forms can rise above the norm (or descend below it). The energy that does not get inserted into a physical world vehicle is what we connect to when we sense sacredness; that energy can be a fertile field in which the seeds that are the catalyst of the sacred masculine will be nurtured, and will flourish.

The sacred masculine is the catalyst that creates life by empowering the fertility and potential of the sacred feminine, and it is the manifestation of that life, the following of the instruction book that is DNA in order to create within the physical realms life forms that can be experienced as physical beings. Because the sacred masculine is connected directly to the physical world, many spiritual paths, especially the ones that do not attune to the cycles of Nature, tend to see the sacred masculine as more important.

**sigh** Still not exactly right.

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