Queen of Wands/Nine of Swords. The Queen of Wands (cusp of Pisces, “I believe,” feelings, duality, soul growth, spirituality, and Aries, “I want,” action oriented, assertive, competitive) is Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts, and emotional, sensitive and imaginative energy which prefers to take the same path) of Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes, and spontaneous, impulsive and energetic change), and because Water and Fire tend to cancel each other out, we are left with Air and Earth. She knows what she wants, but she can be stubborn. The Nine of Swords (Mars, action, spontaneity, aggression, in Gemini, “I think,” curious, talkative, social, dual) in an upright position represents brooding and worrying, the kind that takes place in the wee hours of the morning. These two combined kind of present two opposing situations, one where I am feeling empowered and one where I am feeling helpless. Perhaps I will be presented with a choice today whose outcome will hold the potential for one of these experiences.

My Thoth card is the Prince of Swords. The Prince/Knight of Swords (the cusp of Taurus, “I have,” sensual, stubborn, cautious, and Gemini, “I think,” curious, talkative, dual, intelligent) is not afraid of taking action, not afraid of wading into conflicts, and not afraid to implement new ideas. Emotions and compassion are absolutely not a part of his M.O., and for the good or the bad, he believes in himself completely. Crowley sees the Prince of Swords as being full of ideas which tumble over each other. I might need to remind myself to ground every so often today.

My Legacy card is the Eight of Coins, flavored by the Queen of Wands reversed. Queen of Wands Bookends! The Eight of Coins (Sun, the inner core of a person or situation, in Virgo, “I serve,” practical, work and service oriented, sensible, critical) in an upright position reminds us to be persistent, and diligent in order to grasp success. This Eight tells of hard work on the physical plane that will offer rewards within the spiritual realms. My reversed Queen of Wands is warning me that there might be a potential for me to be distracted easily today. But no matter what the outcome, this reversed Queen offers both obstacles and serenity. More opposites.

The Queen of Wands nurtures both independence and self-expression. She is somewhat of a paradox, for the element of Water is feminine, while the element of Fire is masculine. A paradox indeed, but creativity happens because of the union of opposites! She represents the union of opposites, and this union can be pretty powerful; thus, her presence is commanding. This Queen is good at empowering herself and others, but she needs to have a care. She could very well end up being quite overbearing in her enthusiasm. In fact, in a reversed position she just might be seen by others as a bit of a nut case, but we must always remember the sacred nature of The Fool. In past times, the eccentric were seen as sacred, and the reversed Queen of Wands asks us to remember that. She tells us to nurture that enthusiasm but at the same time, to remember that the power of choice is offered to all, and others just might not agree with her. She also needs to remember that while the ability to see clearly is hers, she does not have a right to stand judgment over others, only herself.

My 6-digit date number is 5, the number of motion which erases stagnation.

My horoscopes: “Do you believe in ghosts? Some strange phone calls, e-mails, or other communications may come your way today, Sagittarius. One may come from someone who thinks you're someone else. Phone calls may be hang-ups, wrong numbers, or phantom rings. If there's a knock at the door, it may be the house settling and not a ghost, but it can still be rather unnerving. Try not to think about it.”

And: “The curtain comes up on the backstage goings on around you today, and the exposure will be very educational. A big mystery is finally solved -- much of what you thought was true isn't really -- and you need to ask for more than a few explanations. Anger isn't an inherently bad emotion -- if you feel it today, use it to help you stay focused on what you need to do. Act maturely and responsibly, but above all, take care of yourself and move on if you need to move on.”

And: “Make sure there is an equal amount of give and take in your day. Sometimes when you love someone you just want to keep giving and giving in order to illustrate your incredible love for them. Be sure that you are not draining yourself of valuable energy that you need for yourself. Also be sure that the people you are giving to are also giving their fair share in return.”

My Sun reading: “The Moon opposes transformational Pluto and squares Saturn. Today you may see events of the past in a whole different light, resulting in a 180-degree turn or change of opinion (for the better). The lesson is that problems are better dealt with early on.”

Well, this week has flown by. The Pagan Brain Trust had its New Moon Reiki Share on Tuesday night. Boy, was this one a powerful Share! I actually had trouble sleeping after we all said good night, despite the fact that I had had a busy day. I led a Tarot Class on Wednesday night, went to my sister-in-law’s for dinner last night, and here it is, Saturday morning in Cape May. And for the first time in months, Miss Pauline woke me up during the night by pulling on my covers!!!

And what a glorious Saturday it is! The sun is shining, the air is warm, and every plant is growing and blossoming. A cardinal is sitting in the large crepe myrtle, preening his feathers, and laughing gulls swoop and dive overhead.

While the weather is lovely, today my focus will be mostly indoors. I did spend some time outside earlier, though, and enjoyed the morning air as I threw down more grass seed. The seed I put down two weeks ago is finally starting to sprout; it has been a bit chilly yet, but I have a feeling that the real growth will be starting soon.

I lit two spiced plum votives and a linen tealight, and put some Oceanus scented oil in my simmerer; lovely scents are laced through the air, and the candlelight adds a sacredness to the day, even though the sunlight is shining through the windows.

This morning, I was drawn to visit Danu’s Altar. I had not been there for a while, but found my way through the forest to the edge of Her meadow easily. I stood at the edge of the trees, looking out over the grasses, newly green and stretching towards the blue sky, and the wildflowers, a sprinkle of violet and yellow and white waving in the gentle breeze, peaking out through the grasses. I spoke out loud then, saying that I was here to offer my gratitude and love to Danu, and if any of the blossoms would like to join me, they have only to lean towards me as I walk through the meadow, and I will take them.

I began walking through the grass, and to my joy, on both sides of me the blossoms bent towards me. I filled my arms with blossoms, violet blue with white centers, sunny yellow, and white with yellow centers, and I even added some of the long grasses to the blooms. I paused, looking at the blossoms still bending toward me, and offered my gratitude.

Finally, I came to Her altar. The huge creamy white candle burned in the sunlight, and dried flowers lay before the candle, a past offering. I carefully placed my own offering on the ground, and then gently gathered the spent blooms and placed them in the firepit before the altar. Then, I lit them with flame from Her candle. The dried blooms flared and crackled for a few moments, and were rapidly reduced to ashes and smoke.

I placed my blooms on the altar, and then whispered softly: “My Dearest Lady Danu, please accept this offering in gratitude for the support and guidance you have given me. You are my Mother, my Sister and my Daughter, O Cauldron of Life, and I would not be who I am without Your blessing and without the infusion of Your sacredness into my life. Most Blessed Womb of Nature, as surely as the flame of Your candle burns eternally on Your altar, through the sunniest of days and the darkest of stormy nights, my dedication to You is as eternal as my own life force. I reaffirm that dedication today, Mother of the Sidhe, under the golden light of the Sun Father, and I acknowledge that Your Light burns within my body, my heart and my spirit. Blessed be!”

To my delight, She appeared, walking towards me, the whiteness of Her robe almost painfully brilliant in the light of the sun. Her arms were spread as She made Her way to Her altar, and Her fingertips brushed the tips of the grasses. Behind Her, flower sprang up where Her fingers brushed, the fragrance of those new blooms filled the air.

Danu walked to me; She cupped my face in Her hands, and then She kissed my third eye, and then softly kissed my lips. Then She smiled, a smile as brilliant as the sun shining above, and placed Her hand on my heart chakra.

I was filled with the most glorious, warm, loving energy; it rapidly filled my physical body to overflowing, and then filled my aura until I was blazing like the Springtime sun above us. As I stood there, filled with Her most sacred essence, I felt my worries and hurts and mistakes being burned away. Redemption is quite powerful when being offered by another human, but redemption and renewal being given by Deity is beyond describing. Tears poured from my astral eyes, and my physical cheeks were wet as She smiled. I whispered to Her, baring my soul and offering to Her both my triumphs and tragedies, as proof that I have been living this life, this gift, as intensely as I can, even though I don’t always make correct choices. Danu nodded gently, again and again, as I shared with Her my joys and my fears, and accepted each as a valuable gift. This alone, this acceptance by Her of my very best moments and my very worst moments as valuable gifts, experiences to be treasured, made me realize and know surely, without a doubt, that the greatest gift we can ever offer to Deity is our own life, our own experiences as we live that life.

Once Danu had seen it all, She once again cupped my face, kissed my third eye and then my lips. Then She spoke.

“I am always with you, My Daughter. Do not doubt that for a minute. The greatest gift you can offer Me is to live your life with awareness, awareness that every moment is indeed sacred. Your response to that which you cannot control is equally valuable to Me as the actions you yourself take with awareness. I have gifted you with life so that you can experience all things, and in doing so, grow and evolve, and shed that which weighs you down. And know this: each pain and each regret that you experience to the fullest, and that you work your way through so that pain and regret can be released, brings you one step closer to me. You are feeding your own life essence by living with awareness of the sacredness of all life, and in feeding your own life essence, you are perpetuating Me. For I am you, and you are Me; as surely as your own son carries a part of you within him, you contain My Essence, Daughter of Danu.”

Then She smiled and took a step back. I fell to my knees before Her, bowing my head. When I looked up once more, She was walking away. Just before She disappeared, She turned once more and Her eyes met mine. Then She turned into mist, and was gone.

And here I am, sitting before my computer, watching the flames of my candles dance in the Springtime breeze flowing through the open windows. How do I ever describe what I am feeling? There really are no words. But this I know: every step, every effort, every moment of research and study, every experience within ritual, every mistake I make and every Aha! Moment and time of being filled with the sacred energies of Deity have all been necessary. Each individual experience has been necessary. Without each, I would not be sitting here in Cape May this sunny day, listening to the birds sing and wiping tears of joy from my cheeks as I type these words.

While I have not specifically mentioned it, each of these experiences are furthering my knowledge of the 21^st Path of the Tree. In “The Witches Tarot,” Ellen Cannon Reed says: “Until we understand what yearning is, we cannot work toward its fulfillment. You can eat for days, and you will still be hungry if you do not find the thing you want.” Indeed, my experiences are teaching me and allowing me to experience and understand what I want.

Blessed be!

$