Monday, April 4, 2011

Nine of Swords/Four of Cups reversed. The Nine of Swords (Mars, action, spontaneity, aggression, in Gemini, “I think,” curious, talkative, social, dual) again, this time in an upright position; this card represents brooding and worrying, the kind that takes place in the wee hours of the morning. Often this kind of worrying is about things that have already happened or things that cannot be changed. I am being reminded that this kind of worrying is a waste of energy, and I don’t have to carry my burdens alone; rather, I should release them and turn away from them, towards harmony. The Four of Cups (the Moon, feelings and emotions, illusion, imagination, in Cancer, “I feel,” sensitive, nurturing, tenacious, moody) is on the surface a card of pleasure and fulfillment, but combine all that “feeling” that is associated with the Moon and Cancer, and pair it with the stability of the number 4, and you get dreams and fantasies so lovely that they distract us from taking the actions necessary to manifest those dreams and fantasies. I shouldn’t lay awake at night worrying about this, but I also need to be aware that sometimes we can’t just visualize, we need to also get moving.

My Thoth card is Death reversed. The Death card corresponds with Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts, and sensitive, imaginative energy that strives to stay the same or take the same course), Scorpio, Nun (fish head; liberation), and the Path between Tiphareth (the hub of the creation process where energies harmonize and focus to illuminate and clarify) and Netzach (the stimulating factors of emotion and inspiration), and tells of transformation or change, both voluntary and involuntary, the ending of an era and the fear of the unknown result of change. Death often brings a freedom that ends up initiating new growth, even if the attaining of that freedom is a bit frightening. Uncle Al sees this card as offering natural change and transformation that happens through the alchemic process of putrefaction. Because the card is reversed, I am being reminded that some things do not happen immediately; the process of putrefaction in Nature takes lots of time, but in the end it is effective.

My Legacy card is the Four of Coins, flavored by the Page of Cups. The Four of Coins (the Sun, the inner core of a person or situation or the deepest self, in Capricorn, “I build,” ambition, authority, caution cunning), is so very grounded. This Four is a card of earthy power, but since both the suit and the number are so very stable, so very resistant to change or improvisation, I need to be careful that I don’t become so obsessed over details or protective of myself that I begin to stagnate. The Page of Cups corresponds to Libra (“we are,” partnerships, balance, cooperation), Scorpio (“I desire,” intensity compulsion, mystery) and Sagittarius (“I seek,” philosophic, adventurous, blundering), and this card is reminding me that my connections to others (and to my own inner self) need a bit of tending in order to remain healthy and viable. I may want to try new methods today, because sometimes sticking with the tried-and-true ones can tend to put us in a trance.

My New Moon Pearls of Wisdom card is the Ten of Swords. Hmmmm . . . the Nine and the Ten of Swords in one reading. Well, at least they are progressing in the right direction. The Ten of Swords (the Sun, the inner core of a person or situation, in Gemini, “I think,” curious, sociable, dual, talkative) tells me that failure is not fun, but we can’t release the failure unless we play it through to the end, without feeling sorry for ourselves. There may be some unexpected event that may cause me to feel devastated, but I do need to remember that there is always, always a silver lining. The glass is half full!!

My 6-digit date number is 10, the number that represents the end of a cycle, which reduces further into the number 1, beginnings and position.

My horoscopes: “You have an extra amount of physical vitality to work with now, Sagittarius, so take advantage of it to give your body a good workout. Eat well and avoid fatty, salty foods. Fuel yourself with carbohydrates, protein, and fresh fruits and vegetables. With high energy, you can get a tremendous amount accomplished. Be aware that your emotional side may be extra sensitive, so be careful of conflict.”

And: “Are you forgetting something? Your mind resembles a big block of Swiss cheese today -- it's full of holes! But you can lean on the sharp minds of friends and count on them to keep you on time and at the right location. Early today, firm up any upcoming social plans. There's a slim chance that someone's forgotten or that you told everyone the wrong time. Some small detail might trip you up, so tie up all the loose ends and get ready for a fabulous time.”

And: “As you get older you are drawn more and more to spiritual matters. It is not so much that you are embracing any particular religion, but more that you are quite curious about the supernatural and some of the ancient arts. Take some time today to visit the library or bookstore to do some reading up on the subject. You might want to form a study group with other, like-minded individuals.”

My Sun reading: “You may have something new in the works as the Moon inspires, but take today to finish unfinished business. Tonight, play the role of listener, observer, and joyful receiver as Neptune tests the Pisces waters. Don't be surprised if you feel psychically attuned with one or more people you meet.”

Yesterday was a day filled with energy work. I started the day with the Sacred Mists Reiki Share. I really do enjoy beginning my day with that kind of connection. Then, I led the Sacred Mists New Wind Moon Esbat; we normally perform two rituals, one in the afternoon and one in the evening, in order to accommodate our members in different time zones.

I really do enjoy writing and leading rituals. And this one was no exception. I incorporated much of my own practice during the Dark/New Moon into the ritual and the pre-ritual meditation, and we all created a magickal charm that both attracted something good and redirected something that could prevent that good thing from manifesting. Both rituals went well, and one of the attendees even posted a picture of their charm on FaceBook.

I finished the day with another Reiki Share, this time with my Pagan Brain Trust group. Another very effective chatroom Share!

Today, I am moving toward some new things.

The 24th Path is next for me, and the Tarot Major associated with this one is Death. Since Death is my Thoth card of the day, I will begin the work needed to move into this Path. Since the Thoth Death card makes specific reference to the alchemic Great Work and the phase of nigredo in particular, I will review my own work with this phase.

Nigredo, or blackness, in alchemy means putrefaction or decomposition. The alchemists believed that as a first step in the pathway to the philosopher's stone, all alchemical ingredients had to be cleansed and cooked extensively to a uniform black matter. In psychology, Carl Jung interpreted nigredo as a moment of maximum despair, which is a prerequisite to personal development.

The Nigredo is the longest and most difficult phase; it makes the other two seem like child’s play. The Nigredo is accomplished through torture. Yes, I said torture. Actually, the process involves the surrender of superfluous and unnecessary characteristics, which happens through the tool of suffering.

Putrefaction is actually a three-stage process, the first stage being putrefaction or rotting, the second being fermentation or transformation, and the third being distillation, or the straining out of the remains.

I found some interesting and relevant stuff on a blog called Alchemy Journal.

“For many who work deeply with spiritual transformation, the goal may seem to be the healing of and freedom from past pain and suffering. When this goal appears to have been reached, there’s a tendency to believe that there will be no further difficult experiences. We think that because we’ve worked so hard, we’ve cleared it all out. Our life from that point will be idyllic and serene. This is such a common experience of lulling ourselves into yet another type of unconsciousness. This sets us up for the shock of an even more challenging experience wherein the ego is again thrown into the fiery cauldron for further transformation. In alchemy, this is called the Putrefaction - Fermentation stage. Here, we again face the ego’s insistence on dominance, but there is an important difference in the quality, intensity, and source of the experience. Unlike the experience in the first stage of Calcination, where we were alone in our battle with the ego, this time we sense another force assisting us. Although the initial part of this fifth stage, Putrefaction, can be very disturbing, and we may be thrown into a pit of depression or despair, it feels like we are being held up, supported, even encouraged in the process.” I think this is interesting, because we really aren’t supposed to just clear difficulty from our lives. We need challenges in order to prevent stagnation.

The author of the blog post goes on to say:

“This time, I have no desire to shut myself down or run away as I used to do years ago, when depression was a constant companion. (In his Alchemy Home Study Program Module One, Dennis William Hauck says ‘. . . the alchemists would never reach for the Prozac at this stage,’ pg. 50). Rather, I’m watching the darkness reveal parts of myself both known and unknown to me. It is a disconnection from the past, allowing it to die, rot and ferment so it’s inspired from higher sources rather than from my earthly self - the new material is emerging from the rich and fecund darkness in concert with my Soul.” Oh, I like this!! Disconnecting from the pain invalidates that pain, and it prevents us from learning the lesson of the pain.

This last section actually puts into words the exact sensation or effect that has prevented my recent Dark Night from becoming a true trauma. Danu has been with me, every step of the way, and Cernunnos has offered soothing advice.

“Some of this material [that appears within putrefaction] is downright frightening, but there is a distinct presence within and beside me that is not depressed or disturbed by the dream content. It is that part of me that I know as my Soul. And my awareness of its palpable presence is due to my not having shut down. This time, I put no blinders on so my vision is not limited. In times past, I closed down my ability to be with the material in the depressed state so completely that I couldn’t see anything other than the darkness itself, which I used as confirmation that I was valueless. This time, I am sitting in the midst of bleak, dark, despairing emotions but not chasing them away or misinterpreting their presence as a commentary on my worthiness. My Soul is here - it’s always been here, but this time I’m welcoming and celebrating its connection with me in the dark. Its purpose is clearly not to ‘make nice’ or pull me prematurely out of my wretched state, but to just be with me. This not only encourages me to keep on sitting with the material, but also serves as a model of trust and wisdom toward which I am growing.”

I think I am ready for the 24th Path!

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