Knight of Wands reversed/Six of Swords. The Knight of Wands (cusp of Scorpio, “I desire,” intense, controlling, deep, obsessive, and Sagittarius, “I seek,” philosophic, fun-loving, blundering) is a carefree inventor who loves to try new ideas; his power lies in action, but that power usually needs guidance or fuel from somewhere else, for he is too busy implementing to either check his course or his fuel tank. He is a revolutionary adventurer but he has trouble sticking to things all the way to the end. Because this card is reversed, today I need to be careful about carrying these concepts to extreme, for too much enthusiasm can be damaging, but so can too little. The Six of Swords (Mercury, reason, intelligence, education, communication, in Aquarius, “I know,” friendships, the group, cause oriented) is a very welcome card for me today, for it tells of the return of mental clarity and the ability to move away from whatever has been holding me back of late so I can continue forward. However, there is a lesson to be learned from the traditional image of this card: the swords that are being brought forward into the new day are in a somewhat passive position, being brought along and ready in case they are needed, but not steering the boat.

My Thoth card is the Knight of Disks reversed. The Knight (King) of Disks (the cusp of Aries, “I want,” action oriented, pioneering, assertive, competitive, and Taurus, “I have,” sensual, cautious, stubborn, physically focused) is the person who organizes, enables and brings to completion all projects within the material world. Crowley describes him as being complex and well-knit, but also containing the danger of focusing so much on the tasks at hand that he becomes distracted from his connection to the Earth and no longer includes Earthly energies within his efforts.

My Legacy card is the Queen of Cups, flavored by the Page of Coins. Well, today must be Court Cards day! The Queen of Cups (cusp of Gemini, “I think,” curious, sociable, dual, and Cancer, “I feel,” sensitive, tenacious, nurturing, moody) is Water of Water, and thus is quite deeply connected to her feelings and her Inner Voice. She feels compassion for all, is able to hear and understand what others are saying and feeling, and is a natural healer. All she has to do is touch someone or engage in a brief conversation with them, and they feel healed and more serene because of contact with her. The Page of Coins (Aries, “I want,” assertive, action oriented, Taurus, “I have,” sensual, cautious, stubborn, and Gemini, “I think,” curious, sociable, dual) is also a listener, and this Page listens to both sides of an argument because he is also a student, and is eager to learn. He watches his world with curiosity and wants to learn how everything works. Because this Page corresponds to Earth, he is practical and cautious, but because he also brings a youth’s enthusiasm to learn into the picture, he is the least cautious of the Coins Court family.

My 6-digit date number is 3 the number of new creation from balance and polarity.

My horoscopes: “Work that you're doing either at home or on your home is likely to go well today and bring you the results you're hoping for, Sagittarius. Members of your household might want to pitch in and help. You will probably spend most of your time inside, but you may also have to spend some time out gathering supplies and materials that you may need.”

And: “The universe is perfectly primed to inspire everyone to be excessive, extravagant and out of control -- to really go overboard, in any and all departments. Of course, since that's how you tend to be -- oh, let's say 'occasionally' -- well, won't it be fun to finally have the rest of the world on the same page? You'll actually be able to suggest something risky without worrying about getting the old 'tsk tsk,' accompanied by that oh so familiar disapproving frown.”

And: “An opportunity to travel, perhaps in the company of friends or colleagues, could come your way today. This might involve education in some way. What you learn on this trip is likely to alter your life in some way, as it could in come way open new doors for you. New friends and valuable contacts could also come on the scene. Don't hesitate - go for it! Another opportunity like this might not come around for a while.”

I had a truly mystical driving experience from Cape May to North Jersey today. We had an unusually warm day in Cape May (54 degrees!!); it was overcast and damp, and lovely clouds of fog were rising up over the snow fields and the channels of the salt marshes. The ocean water is still a bit chilly, after all. The result was an insulating blanket of fog, sometimes almost totally blocking out the sides of the road. I drove up the Parkway, sipping my Komodo Dragon coffee (**waves to E, her favorite barrista**), within a sanctuary of Fog.

This fog is fitting for me today. I have been through my own min-Fog this weekend, probably due mostly to this darned cold that has had me so dragged out for a week now. I lost my voice this weekend, after several days of lethargy and a runny nose. I just did not want to do anything but sit there, staring at a blank wall. Now, I enjoy relaxing quite a bit and never give up an opportunity to sleep late or sit for a while with a good book, but I also have moments during each day when I feel positively alive with the electricity of potential that is a part of living. I had not had any moments of feeling alive for days.

Last night, as I sat watching a bit of a Stephen Hawkings program on the Universe, I could not stay awake, and I felt pretty. I still mostly had no voice, I still had mostly no energy; once again, I could not bring myself to post on my blog; once again, I did not take care of my Sacred Mists responsibilities; once again, I did not do much around the house besides laundry (and believe me, wallboard and spackle dust is coating every cobweb, making it look like the house is festooned with spun sugar). I actually questioned myself, questioned the validity of these things that I just could not raise enough energy to accomplish. Maybe my life within the Sacred Mists Community was losing its bloom. Maybe this entire woo-woo thing was losing its bloom. After all, if it was important, if it was something that I was meant to manifest, wouldn't I be able to find the energy and the clarity of mind to get things done, even if I was sick? Yes, me . . . Miss Woo-Woo Believer/Teacher/Encourager," doubting my own Path, doubting its validity. Once again. The difference this time was that I was not doubting the validity of the Path itself, but rather I was wondering whether or not I should be following it.

I was so tired and limp last night that I could not even bring myself to be horrified by the thoughts running around my head. I actually had my first good night’s sleep in several days, and woke up a different woman. I finally felt energy, I finally felt clarity, I finally felt the urge to get things done. I guess it took wallowing a bit in the dark, damp, trash strewn place that is my “pity potty” to bring me back to my senses. Thankfully, the fire has not gone out in my soul, and I am ready, willing and able to get back to work.

And this is good. I owe Hecate a ritual, and since the waning moon is near, I will plan on doing this soon. Plus, my Patroness, Danu, visited me today as I drove through the Fog (both literally and figuratively). She brought me once again to Her Well, and explained me that this Well is one source of Her power on and in our world, a direct connection to Her sacred energies. No wonder I felt so connected to the Divine when I spent time there! Danu explained to me that since I had entered the world beyond the Well that one time, things have been changing within me. Changing mainly within my energy body and my aura, but since they are both connected to my physical body, my mental body and my emotional body, those changes will have a long term and far reaching effect on me. **smile** More fun to look forward to.

Then Danu really surprised me! She told me that She was gifting me with this Well. No longer was it Danu’s Well, now it was Raushanna’s Well. Needless to say, Danu quickly qualified this gift. She explained that it was the access to the sacred energies that emanate from the Well that She was giving me, and not the content of the Well, which belonged to everyone and every thing. No one or no thing could use this particular Well without my go-ahead, without my permission. I realized that what She was giving me was similar to Reiki, for the Reiki energy does not belong to me and does not originate from me; I am merely the conduit which provides the Reiki energy to a recipient. I also realized that this gift came with some heavy responsibility. I now need to keep a small part of myself at the Well at all times, not to guard so much as to grant access when needed.

As I type this, I am suddenly realizing the heavy duty symbolism attached to Danu’s gift. Shit. She is making me something that I never wanted to be. Well, not making me, as in forcing me. I know that I can always say no. But Danu is placing this gift directly in my Path, so that I need to either accept it and own it, or I need to make a huuugggge detour around it. What is the symbolism that scares me so much, you ask? Simple; Danu is asking me to be the person who leads Seekers to this Sacred Well, and show them how to access Its benefits and powers.

Now, here’s the thing. I never wanted to be anything but a Seeker. I don’t feel that my initiation into the Sacred Mists Coven counters this desire, because in the end even a Covener needs to do much of the work entailed in coming to understand the Mysteries in a solitary manner. We just get to do that difficult solitary work with the support of our fellow Coveners. But this gift reeks of a particular role, that “High Priestess” word that I don’t like to associate with, because of the baggage that comes along with it. Tricky Danu.

Mind you, I am deep into my Third Degree Training at Sacred Mists, and I am truly loving the growth that is happening for me in that Training. But I never aspired to be more than an Elder with my Coven. Sheesh, am I actually training to lead a group of my own??

Maybe that Fog is not so bad, after all. Only kidding, My Lady Danu! I will go wherever You think I need to go, but I hope You don’t mind if I wait for further confirmation on this one.

I think I will go back to something safe for a bit, like learning about Pathworking. I need to think about this revelation for a while.

$