Death reversed/The Empress reversed. In an upright position, Death corresponds with Water (cold/binds and dry/shapes, and emotional, sensitive energy which attempts to stay on the same course), Scorpio (“I desire,” intense, controlling, mysterious, obsessive), Nun (fish head, liberation), and the Path between Tiphareth (the hub of the creation process where energies harmonize and focus to illuminate and clarify), and Netzach (the stimulating factors of emotion and inspiration). Death tells of a transformation into the unknown and a shedding of old ideas or perspectives, and since the card is reversed, I see it as validating to me something I suspect: that the process of transformation has happened already. In an upright position, The Empress corresponds with Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes, and stable, material, practical energies that are slow to change), Venus (beauty, allure, pleasure, relationships), Daleth (door or womb) and the Path between Binah (female receptive energy and the origin of form and structure) and Chokmah (dynamic male energy and the origin of vital force and polarity). She represents creativity, fertility, the physical body and its senses, and the material world and the workings of Nature. Big changes have been happening for me, but I think that at least for now, the process of letting go of what I don’t need is completed, and the Threshold has already been passed. I am not yet ready to manifest these changes in an outer manner, nor am I ready to use these changes as tools of creation; instead, I need to take the time to examine myself, to get to know this “new” self, in the quiet of the pre-dawn hours, when everyone else is still asleep. Soon enough, the first birds will call out and then I will need to focus on my physical senses and the workings of Nature around me in my outer world, but that time has not yet come.

My Thoth card is the Queen of Swords. Crowley sees the Queen of Swords (cusp of Virgo, “I serve,” practical, analytical, work and service oriented, and Libra, “We are,” partnerships, balance, cooperation, ideas) as a keen observer who swiftly and accurately interprets her world. She may appear outwardly as a good candidate for a judgeship because of her perception and insight, however she sometimes allows emotions to affect her judgments. Whatever the situation, she values honesty and truth above all else, and sees difficulties as learning experiences; these are her messages to me today. And to Jen of the PBT, as well. **wink**

My Legacy card is The Devil reversed, flavored by the Queen of Swords reversed. Bookends again, this time the Queen of Swords!! In an upright position, The Devil corresponds with Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes, and stable, material, practical energies that are slow to change), Capricorn (“I build,” ambitious, competent, cautious, cunning), Ayin (the eye, senses), and the Path between Hod (which provides analysis and communication) and Tipareth. The Devil is about bondage, addiction and restrictions of all kinds, often connected to the physical world; because the card is reversed, I am being told that today, any restrictions that have in the past held me back from moving forward will now be fading away. It is the outer attractiveness of the Queen of Swords which can be a danger; this Queen of Swords reversed is relying only on her intellect and is not allowing her emotions or feelings to balance things out. This situation creates the danger of possible cruelty, deceit or unreliability, for the intellect often focuses on knowledge in its purest form, without allowing that knowledge to be tempered with ethics and a concern for the nature of the ultimate outcome. She is reminding me that while I may be reveling in the newfound freedom presented by the ebbing of the energies of The Devil, I should not allow my own relief to blind me to my affects on others.

It appears that besides all the individual and collected meanings of my cards lately, I am also to think about the concept of polarity and its role in the creation of balance; hence all these “bookend pairs.”

My 6-digit date number is 10, the number of completion of manifestation, which further reduces to the number 1, which represents beginnings and the concept of position.

My horoscopes: “Obstacles that you encountered in attaining your cherished goals could suddenly seem to melt away, clearing the way to make your dreams come true, Sagittarius. This could involve physical health, plans for travel and education, and self-expression. You could also feel especially passionate now, so a romantic evening with that special someone would be particularly enjoyable. You feel great, so look your best, too!”

And: “You've spent most of your waking hours thinking about one particular person -- someone from the past. Now, finally, you have the chance to actually spend some time alone with them. You've got a lot to say, and you're finally ready to say it -- and they do, too. Let them go on as long as they like -- first -- then take your turn. Think of it as an investment in the future. If the adage holds true, the third time is a charm -- and doesn't this make three?”

And: “You know that a lot of people are almost constantly trying to provoke you. But over the years, you have been able to master your feelings and you don't always respond to provocation. You are, after all, a modern woman! You are always ready to stand strong and you are not afraid to fight for what you believe in. But you just don't show it every day!”

I feel wonderful today! I finally connected with the Goddess again on the way home last night from our Pagan Brain Trust meeting, the first time in days that I have felt Her energies. I feel a renewed focus.

I have a new essay posted on the Sacred Mists Blog, about Watchers, which is one result of my efforts to understand Watchers. Here is a link to my essay: http://sacredmistsblog.com/the-watchers-and-the-four-royal-stars-of-persia. I even remembered a brief piece of a dream! Mystery and I were either in India or Africa, and some of the local farmers were having problems with a herd of elephants. The elephants were breaking into the farmers' fields at night and poaching the crops. The farmers had decided that the best thing to do would be to thin the herd. You and I both tried to convince them that there had to be alternatives, but we could not. The needs of the farmers were more immediate, because the village had many children and there just would not be enough food if the elephants kept dining on the crops, especially considering the size of the herd.

So, we both decided that the most we could do was to sit just outside the village the night of the hunt, and watch out for the spirits or life forces of the elephants who got killed, as those life forces left the physical bodies of the elephants and left the physical plane. We were going to offer a blessing to each of them, maybe even attempt to apply Reiki if we could, just to counteract the trauma of being forced out of their physical bodies.

Our PBT night was quite intense, as always. Just before I left, we all looked back on our discussions, and marveled. We tend to talk about huge concepts at some point each time we get together; we offer our own views, and validate the views of each other. Last night, we discussed methods for bringing together the physical world (and our physical selves) and the spiritual world (and the life forces which use the physical body as a vehicle). We reminded ourselves that each sheath of existence is connected and cannot be separated, no matter how much we believe they can be. We talked about technology, and how the focuses of science are gradually circling around, back to the beliefs of our ancestors. We talked about our own hopes for a future culture that uses technology hand in hand with an awareness of and connection to the natural world around us and its myriad of useful energies. And each of us took a moment to personally validate that connection.

As above, so below. Check.

We also talked about each of our experiences with more advanced studies which have come to us all, as we travel upon our individual Paths. We came to a consensus that despite the fact that none of us is Travelling alone (and we acknowledged that indeed, we each needed the support and love of our Companions, both PBT-ers and otherwise, in order to be healthy, in order to move forward into the unknown), the deeper we each immersed ourselves in the Mysteries connected to our own Paths, the more solitary each of our Journeys was becoming. As close as we all are, we each have our own individual focus, and the understandings that are coming to use are experiential in nature, and difficult to describe. The awesome thing about that is that together, we are all the softness and compassion that is The Star which is supported by a foundation of having survived the trauma of The Tower; we are all the courage to boldly move into the unknown without forgetting our responsibility to our fellow Travelers that is the power of The Sun; we are all the skilled and intensely trained Magus who is able to tap into all four elements at the same time in order to access their individual powers, and focus their effects to create what is desired; and we are all the keepers of hidden knowledge, knowledge that we have strived mightily to obtain, and knowledge that we offer to those who are willing to do the work needed to understand it, for The High Priestess is also a Gatekeeper.

Validation, support, and understanding. Check.

And as I drove home, much later than it should have been, my Patroness, Danu, came to me. I was filled with Her warm, loving essence, to overflowing. She smiled and told me that I must never stop pushing the envelope. Yes, I need to honor where I have been and what it took to come this far, and I must honor the possibilities that are the future, but I must never stop asking the tough questions, even if the answers are not readily apparent. I must never stop picking things apart in order to understand them. Each time I break something down, do the work to understand its components, and then reassemble the original concept with a deeper understanding of how and why it works for me, I am bringing my own vibrational levels to a new height. This is what life is about.

Then, Danu smiled and led me to Her altar. The altar was plain and unadorned with its usual flowers and grains and shells and other bounties, and the candles were dark, as if this altar were honoring the Dark Moon instead of the Full Moon. Danu hugged me from behind, and then whispered softly in my left ear, “Sometimes the light must come from within.” And there it was, the Aha! moment that I knew was around here somewhere.

Danu is showing me why Hecate just tasked me with doing a ritual in Hecate’s honor at the New Moon; Danu is also telling me that I need to reconnect with my own Core Value Anchor, and my own Source of personal energy, and use that connection. No matter how deep our connection is to the Sacred, the love and focus and Will and Intent need to begin within us. If we do not have the ability to locate that spark of Sacredness that is within us so that we can fan it to life during rituals and workings, then we cannot truly commune with Deity. I am being tasked with finding my own light. “And you who seek to know Me, know that the seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the Mystery: for if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without. For behold, I have been with you from the beginning, and I am That which is attained at the end of desire.”

New purpose and renewal of focus. Check.

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