Four of Cups/Queen of Wands. Another day of the energies of the Four of Cups. Perhaps I am being told that things cannot always be energetic and electric, and sometimes I may need to just chill out. I am usually more than willing to take charge and do what I have to do, but perhaps there is a new lesson here for me. These two cards are almost an opposing pair, with the Four of Cups representing a pause and the Queen of Wands manifesting dedication and focus. Do I need to choose between the two? Or do I need to find a happy medium?

My Thoth card for today is the Nine of Cups. This is the Happiness card, and it tells of feeling complete partially through luck or good fortune. It also warns of the potential for happiness to turn into stagnation.

Well, my cards for today sum up what I am experiencing these past days. There I am, the Queen of Wands, trying to take control of my destiny, and I am surrounded by Cups cards that have the potential to bring stagnation and putrefaction. I was feeling very sluggish again this morning even though I had a good night’s sleep. My aura is still feeling cloudy. So, I tried a meditation that seems to have helped.

I sat quietly and shielded myself, and then opened each of my chakras. Once each chakra was cleaned and balanced and opened fully and the energy was cycling within the main channels, I brought energy down through my crown chakra and first allowed it to flow through my chakras and into the floor until I felt cleansed, and then I “put the plug in the bathtub” and allowed myself to fill with energy, until I felt it pressing against the outer edge of my mental/emotional aura. I held the energy there until I sensed that everything was cleaned and recharged, and then allowed the energy to drain out. I released each chakra and relaxed my shield.

I can feel a big difference, but that cloud is still there. I will try the meditation again later today; hopefully I can figure out what the problem is. I am not physically sick, at least to my knowledge, and I am eating better than I have been in a long time, with lots of fruits and vegetables and not too much meat. I am doing my dance stretches in the morning.

Perhaps there is some new lesson being presented to me. I have, after all, been trying to learn more about my own energy field. One thing that I have noticed as I thought about the past few days in order to type this blog entry is that I am able to consciously become more aware by forcing the awareness. I feel as if I am pushing through jello to get to where I need to be, but this is not impossible. Perhaps I am being forced to strengthen my mental muscles?

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