Five of Wands/Six of Pentacles reversed. Today will be a day of multiple minor conflicts and a lack of resources, or at least a perception of lack of resources. The issues that will be demanding my attention will be minor ones but they will probably tend to appear in groups. The solution is to achieve a balance between helping myself and depending on others.

My Thoth card for today is the Princess of Swords reversed . . . again. I pulled this same card four days ago, but things have changed a bit for me since then. Four days ago, my reading for myself was “In an upright position, this Princess/Page is known for firmness, aggression and revenge. She can handle practical affairs with cleverness, especially when controversial, and she is good at negotiating settlements. Because this card is reversed, I am sensing that these concepts have become diluted, perhaps diluted to the point where their non-presence is an issue.” Of course, the upright version of the card has not changed, however I have changed since the 16^th; I am less lethargic and more alert. And thus, I will interpret this card as offering me encouragement to use my logic and my intellect, for they will not be childishly destructive today, but rather useful and accurate.

I am sitting on my porch in Cape May, watching the rain and listening to the thunder as I drink my coffee and type in my journal. The air is cool and filled with the heady and exotic fragrance of the creamy white flowers on my privet hedge. I managed to get my walk in before the rain started, which is a good thing, because we are taking some of Bob’s clients out to dinner tonight to a really nice restaurant specializing in New Orleans cuisine, called 410 Bank Street. I am really looking forward to this evening, because I have met the clients before, and they are nice, and I have eaten at this restaurant before, and it is good.

Last night while driving down, I unexpectedly connected with my Younger Self for the first time in a while. She usually appears to me as a young elf child, reed slender, hands clasped behind her back, with a shy smile on her face and a mischievous twinkle in her eye, belying the innocence of her smile. That is when she is in a good mood. Let me say this: when she feels angry or hurt or slighted, she can throw one pretty impressive hissy fit for such a tiny being. But last night she was happy, excited about the weekend, particularly the Litha Sabbat on Sunday, and pleased to be interacting with me. We ended up enjoying the sun, low in the sky, as it lit up the undergrowth beneath the groves of trees along the Parkway as we watched for deer.

I arrived in Cape May just in time to attend last night’s Sacred Mists Litha Sabbat ritual, and I entered the chat room with about two minutes to spare. I was surprised that I was the only Student Council member there, and Lady Raven had not arrived yet, and so I looked on IM and saw Brianna; thankfully she was near her computer and answered me right away. She telephoned Lady (who was just finishing up dealing with a family emergency), updated me, and I prepared everyone for the ritual until Lady arrived. Just in case, I had my own Litha solitary ritual ready, but I did not have to use it.

The thing that made me feel good about how I handled this was that I did not panic, not even once. I had my own ritual ready, and the student who was to lead the pre-ritual meditation was ready to go, so the worst case scenario would have been that the ritual did not match the Sabbat announcement on the Boards. Once the ritual was over and I was out on the porch, sitting with Bob, I realized that I had been well prepared for that event, even if I did not realize it at the time. My training at Sacred Mists had truly taken hold, and if Lady had been further delayed by her emergency, I would have been able to lead the students in a ritual (and I would have been able to tweak my solitary ritual into a group ritual on the fly), and not loose my composure. Last night, I really felt like a Third Degree Dedicant; I really felt like a Student Council Member, not a newbie, but a seasoned and well trained leader.

Thank you, Sacred Mists and thank you, Lady Raven, for creating this place that has allowed me to blossom and to manifest the potential within me.

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