Knight of Wands/King of Cups. The Knight of Wands (cusp of Scorpio, “I desire,” intense, controlling, deep, obsessive, and Sagittarius, “I seek,” philosophic, fun-loving, blundering) is a carefree inventor who loves to try new ideas; his power lies in his ability to use words and his intellect, and his ability to see outside the box. He is unpredictable, which can make him difficult to deal with. This has been a major issue for me of late; I don’t know why, but in my enthusiasm I tend to miss important details. The King of Cups (cusp of Libra, “We are,” partnerships, balance, cooperation, and Scorpio, “I desire,” intense, controlling mysterious, obsessive) is the expert on emotions and the subconscious, mainly because of his life experiences. He is good at tending others, but is sometimes not so good at being in touch with his own feelings. It seems that I am being told today that I need to be careful because my enthusiasm could end up blocking my ability to tend to others, and myself.

My Thoth card is Fortune. Fortune corresponds with Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes, and spontaneous, impulsive and energetic change), Jupiter (expansiveness and growth, justice, fortune), Kaph (grasping hand), and the Path between Netzach (the stimulating factors of emotion and inspiration) and Chesed (the place where forms and structure are stabilized and nurtured), and in an upright position, it tells of coming change and reminds us that sometimes change is inevitable, and happens in its own time. The interesting concept that Crowley presents is that the axle of the wheel does not move, which reminds us that while the manifestations of Fate may circle around us, we remain rooted within ourselves and as long as we are patient and versatile, we can deal with all turns of the Wheel, no matter where we end up on that Wheel. The Thoth Wheel also has ten spokes, which directs us to the sephiroth Malkuth, the physical world which is governed by fate. The fist at the bottom of the circle of the Wheel (Kaph, grasping hand) has six rays emanating from it, and tells us that the force that moves the Wheel is Balance, and all will be balanced in the end.

My Legacy card is the Nine of Coins, flavored by the Knight of Wands reversed. Bookend Knights!! The Nine of Coins (Venus, beauty, allure, relationships, in Virgo, “I serve,” practical, analytical, work and service oriented) is a card of accomplishment through the imposition of discipline, and today this card is telling me how to solve the extremes of my Bookend Knights. Pay attention to details!! The Legacy Knight of Wands contains an image of dragons fighting, with flames being spread carelessly around the battling lizards. This is the danger incorporated into this Knight; he has achieved great power through his courage and creativity, but he just is not good at implementing that power.

A bit more about the Knight of Wands. The suit of Wands corresponds with the element of Fire, and action, transformation, passion and destruction. Many decks see the Knights as also corresponding with Fire, although some see the Knights as Air. Today we have one of each, for the Welsh Tarot sees Knights as corresponding with Air, while the Legacy Knights correspond with Fire.

Knights are mercenaries; this means that they perform their tasks at the bidding of their bosses, without imposing their own opinions into the matters at hand. The Welsh Knight would be Air of Fire, and that is a somewhat explosive combination as fire usually needs air in order to continue. This means that for the Welsh Knight, his will supports and strengthens his intellect, and he brings intensity to everything he works with. The Legacy Knight would be Fire of Fire, which means that this Knight may burn brighter, but he also has less endurance. This Knight as gained immense power through his experiences, but he has not yet learned how to execute that power in a responsible manner. He certainly has amazing charisma and would attract many followers; however there is danger in that, too, especially for this reversed Knight, who tends to be unreliable and inconsistent, even if these things happen inadvertently.

No matter how you see them, these Bookend Knights are a handful! Thankfully, each is paired with a card that is filled with discipline. The King of Cups may be a bit of a softie, but actually he just tends to use diplomacy rather than force, at least in the beginning. The Nine of Coins, which is paired with the reversed Knight of Wands, teaches by example; hopefully this reversed Knight will accept the lessons of the Nine, even of he does not see those lessons until after the fact. The King is focused on the emotions and feelings of those around him and the Nine is focused on self-discipline in order to shape the physical world; both of these are useful examples for the bull in the china closet that is this Knight.

My 6-digit date number is 5, the number of movement that erases stagnation.

My horoscopes: “Recent successes haven't made you feel you can rest on your laurels, Sagittarius. Rather, you're more likely to work harder. Today you might spend a lot of time considering different options for improving your socioeconomic status. Among them might be enterprises connected with the planet. Business and romantic partners could inspire you.”

And: “Concentration is the key to your success today -- so keep your eye on the ball if you want to win! The goal you have in your sights right now is yours to lose, so don't worry about anyone taking the power out of your hands. You should try to avoid flighty people, even in social situations . . . their unfocused energy could cause you to lose your focus as well. True friends will give you the space you need, so don't hesitate to ask for it.”

And: “You tend to be very intuitive, but today your channel to the other side could appear to be totally blocked. You can't sense what others are feeling, and oracles such as the I Ching just don't make sense any more. You may try to fall back on logic, but that doesn't work today either. Don't think this is a permanent situation, however. Your mental biorhythms are low. You should be back to normal in a few days.”

I had a lovely meditation on the way home from Cape May last night. I went to the mountaintop altar because I had not been there for a while. I came to the top of the stairs; the sky was overcast and the breeze was cold. I bravely began to take off my clothes. As I did so, I thought again about how potent a tool ritual nudity is. The process of taking off my clothes was changing my awareness, step by step! I then brought some pine needles, pine cones, and some pine twigs to the bowl in front of the altar and started my fire. The flames crackled and the scent of pine filled the air.

Once the fire was started, I added more substantial sticks, and then cast my circle. As I said the words, “The circle is cast; so mote it be!” my circle became visible with a crackling sound! The entire top of the mountain was surrounded by a glowing sphere; this is the first time I have been able to really see my own sacred circle. It glowed with a blue-white light that was incredibly beautiful. I greeted the Quarters; I called each of my Elemental Guides, and I honored the Watchers. Then I took a burning stick from the fire and lit first the Goddess candle, while invoking the Sacred Feminine, and then the God candle, while invoking the Sacred Masculine. For a long moment I stood there, feeling the presence of all who I called or invited.

I then went down on one knee and bowed my head. I could feel the presence of The Source, and I heard Voices whisper, “I am your Goddess, the White Lady, Danu,” and “I am the Black Mother, Kali Ma.” “I am your God, Cernunnos, the Lord of the Wild Things; He who is both White and Black, life and death.” “I am Merlin the Magician, the One who rules the elements through the grace of Deity.” “I am Hecate, She who is the Crossroad between Them all.”

For the first time, I felt the presence of each of Them. I could feel the Sacred Feminine in all of Her aspects of fertility, possibility, and eternal life; and I could feel the Sacred Masculine, the cycle of life that is birth, living, death, and rest in preparation of rebirth, as well as knowledge of the physical world and the ability to affect its manifestations. Opposites in every way, yet needing each other in order to fulfill Divine purpose. For a brief moment, I felt Them join together and was filled with a most incredible awareness of Their desire to merge. I realized that I was filled with this same desire, this need to connect to Deity, and just as They are programmed to respond to each other, They are programmed to respond to this same desire within me.

Again, I heard a Voice whisper. “You are aiming for the right goal, but you are not ready yet. Keep striving, for each time you achieve a connection to Us, you become closer to Us; you elevate your own essence temporarily. This is the ultimate goal, to unite with Us, but know that this goal is only ultimately achieved by surrendering your physical body and allowing your life force to rise up. However the time is not yet ripe for this. You are to continue attempting to initiate the connection to Us for in doing so you enable the connection to happen with greater ease. And you are to continue to attempt to understand your world and your self; you are not to focus so much on finding the right words to describe what you know to be true, but rather, focus on finding the right feelings that are what you know to be true.”

I understand this! I had an aha! moment over the Summer when I realized that reality is a creation of my mind. At that time, I accepted this because I chose to surround myself with sacredness. Now, I have come to believe that while I may create a perception of reality that is acceptable to my mind and my psyche, the building blocks of that reality, created by my own mind that it may be, are the energies of the Sacred. Those energies manifest according to the basic rules of Sacred Energies, just as the physical world manifests according to its own rules. My world, my perceived reality, is built from the same essences as those that compose Deity; they are just vibrating at a lesser level within my physically perceived world than they are within Deity. But both versions of these essences manifest according to the same laws. We can all see this in the familiar cycles of our world.

And okay, I’m talking in circles here, trying to describe the indescribable, but for the first time I am not frustrated. I know what I feel, and for me, what I feel is right and correct. Even if I can’t put these feelings into words.

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