August 30, 2016: Geburah, Chesed and Fire

I cannot believe that August is almost over; this summer flew by. 

The element of Fire has powerful energies.  There is not a particular sephira that corresponds with this element but to me, the pair of Gebura or Might and Chesed or Mercy make a nice correspondence.  After all, unless tempered with Mercy, Might can overcome all else, just as fire can consume all.  Perhaps a bit of comparison is in order.

Geburah (Might) is the fifth sephira on the Tree, the second on the Pillar of Form/Restriction, and also known as Judgment, and Fear.  The manifestations of this sephira can indeed be difficult, but they are not evil.  To some, an easy life is an ideal situation, but to Pagans, an easy life lacks opportunity for growth and evolution, and they are the purpose of living.  The effects of Geburah and just as necessary for balance and health as are those of Chesed.

Geburah also tells of the sacrifice that is necessary to keep the Wheel turning.  It tells of the sacrifice, the physical death, which releases energy back into the system.  This balance is absolutely necessary, for the serenity of Chesed occurs through the supportive workings of Geburah.

My correspondence list for Geburah is:

Magickal Image: Warrior in Chariot

Planetary: Mars

Vice: Cruelty, Wanton Destruction

Virtue: Energy, Courage

Deity: Warrior, Avenger

Spiritual Experience: Vision of Power

Briatic Correspondence: Power

Illusion: Invincibility

Obligation: Courage

Path: Path 5, the number of motion imposed on stability to test validity.

Chesed (Mercy) is the fourth sephira on the Tree, the second on the Pillar of Force/Expansion, and the first to represent actuality.  It is seen as the Hall of Masters and the Sphere of the Adepts, for it is within the energies of Chesed that the Ascended Masters or Ancient Ones reside.  Chesed brings to us the understanding of perfect love, for love cannot happen without understanding.

Chesed is a relatively pleasant or positive sephira, bringing expansion and growth and stabilization; its opposite, Geburah, is not always pleasant.  Yet there are times when the two change places, so we should not see only the pleasant experiences of Chesed as being preferred.

My correspondence list for Chesed is:

Magickal Image: Ruler on Throne

Planetary: Jupiter

Vice: Bigotry, Tyranny, Hypocrisy, Gluttony

Virtue: Obedience

Deity: Benevolent Ruler

Spiritual Experience: Vision of Love

Briatic Correspondence: Authority

Illusion: Self-Righteousness

Obligation: Humility

Path: Path 4, the number of depth and stability.

The Path that connects Gebura and Chesed is Path 19, one of the Paths that explore higher spirituality.  This Path is a horizontal one and it connects the Pillar of Form and the Pillar of Force, balancing the two.  Path 19 represents the balance between strength and severity, and affection and gentleness; it tells of enduring the tests and challenges that give us the strength and skill to wield Perfect Love and Trust.  The Tarot Major Arcana card that corresponds with this Path is Strength.  The Strength card is not about physical or muscular strength, instead it tells of the self-discipline necessary for balancing instincts and the dark side of our nature with the intellect and logic and analysis. 

The Wild Unknown Tarot Strength card shows the face of a lion with a large and fluffy mane (a sign of authority and dominance in male lions), as if he has just appeared from behind tall grasses and is ready to pounce on his prey, but instead of a growl, he carries a white rose in his mouth, not a sharp, pointy tooth to be seen.  This lion is strong, without a doubt, and patient and courageous; he is a leader who leads through applying what he’s learned in his life.  He is more than able to succeed as a predator, but instead he is controlling his instincts and choosing peace and serenity.  He even has the symbol for infinity, a lemniscate (similar meaning to the ouroboros), on his brow, telling us that the strength represented by this card is not dependent upon a strong body, but rather a strong Will, and thus it is eternal. Interestingly enough, the lemniscate also represents the circuit through which spirit can dissolve into matter, and matter can dissolve into spirit.

I can feel Venant, my fiery wyvern Watcher of the South, nodding. 

My Wild Unknown Tarot card for today is The Star.  The image on this Major Arcana card is simple: a rainbow colored five-pointed star, set in a dark sky sprinkled with other, less unusual yet still beautiful stars.  The colors on this Star are lovely and pure, and they make me feel as if this Star is an omen predicting the possibility of good things to come.  A silent omen, silent as the night sky, dark and velvety.  Subtle and silent, yet powerful still.  What message does this rainbow colored Star bring? It brings that first glimpse of hope.  Believe in beauty, The Star says as she glistens with the colors of a rainbow, believe in purity, believe in goodness.  And those are the things you shall receive.

I believe.

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Knight of Swords reversed/Ace of Swords. The Knight of Swords (the cusp of Taurus, “I have,” sensual, stubborn, cautious, and Gemini, “I think,” curious, talkative, dual, intelligent) is not afraid of taking action, not afraid of wading into conflicts, and not afraid to implement new ideas.  Emotions and compassion are absolutely not a part of his M.O., and for the good or the bad, he believes in himself completely. However, he is reversed today, so self-doubt may be an issue for me.  The Ace of Swords (Capricorn, “I build,” ambition, caution authority, cunning, Aquarius and Pisces, “I believe,” feeling, duality, soul growth, artistic) can be seen as the birthplace of ideas and concepts, and of challenges which offer the opportunity for growth, and also the beginning of the development of a sense of identity.  The element of Air, which corresponds with the suit of Swords, does not have self-generated impulses, but it can easily have an effect when influenced by the other elements.  This might be particularly an issue today, since the very self-generated Knight is reversed.

My Thoth card is the Seven of Wands reversed. “Valor” The Seven of Wands (Mars, action, spontaneity, aggression, drive, in Leo, “I am,” passionate, dramatic, natural leader, egotistical, selfish) has a personal significance for me, given to me by Archangel Uriel.  I see this card as representing the approach of a Threshold, and the need to pass the tests of the Guardian.  Crowley sees this card in an upright position as indicating that the time has come for individual valor, as the army is in disarray.  The card is reversed, however, so I need to hold myself back from individual acts of bravery until a more auspicious time.

My Legacy card is the King of Cups flavored by the Page of Cups reversed. The King of Cups (cusp of Libra, “We are,” partnerships, balance, cooperation, and Scorpio, “I desire,” intense, controlling mysterious, obsessive) is the expert on emotions and the subconscious, mainly because of his life experiences.  He is good at listening to others, good at tending others, but is sometimes not so good at being in touch with his own feelings. The Page of Cups corresponds to Libra (“we are,” partnerships, balance, cooperation), Scorpio (“I desire,” intensity compulsion, mystery) and Sagittarius (“I seek,” philosophic, adventurous, blundering), and corresponds to my connections to others and to my own inner self.  Unlike the King of Cups, this Page is in touch with his own feelings, but he is reversed, and so he may be validating the King’s inability to effectively hear his own inner voice. 

My 6-digit date number is 4, the number of depth and stability.

My horoscopes: “You seem frustrated today, Sagittarius! There's only one person who could possibly arouse your anger to such a degree, and that's you. Today's aspect is favorable for crises of conscience that result in a change of attitude. You're likely to remember to choose your words more carefully from now on.”

And: “Your finances are becoming a bigger issue in your life right now, and conservation should be a high priority starting now. There's no need to drastically change your lifestyle, but a few nips and tucks here and there might be a good idea. Go for the tall coffee, not the grande; brown bag it for lunch for one week; and consider that public transportation may not be so bad after all. Tiny changes will give you new experiences while they help your wallet, so check them out!”

And: “Today may be a tough one for you. It might seem like nothing is fitting into place. Could it be that you are trying to be someone that you are not? If things don't seem to be working out, don't press the issue. You are better off waiting for a time in which you feel more confident about who you are and where you are going. Meanwhile, pour yourself a cup of tea and relax. Releasing stress can clear up a great deal of energy for use in other things.”

My Sun reading: “Mercury and Pluto fuel powerful communications. Add the lunar touch, and you're very persuasive because you speak from your heart and soul. You sing love songs in harmony and peace tonight. If you're single, flattery gets you anywhere under a Leo Moon.”

This morning, my unease has morphed into melancholy.  I am in Cape May alone, which is a good thing; maybe I can figure out what has become disconnected in my energy body. 

I allowed myself to sleep in today, after a busy day yesterday.  I drove to Easton, Pennsylvania for the bridal shower of the fiancé of my godson, Justin.  After spending a lovely afternoon with family, I drove to Cape May.  During that drive, I carefully and completely opened and cleaned and balanced my chakras, and then applied Reiki to them; I’m hoping that more intense chakra work will help me to deal with whatever is up with my energy body.

I walked to the Cove and back, once again probing myself, trying to find exactly where the sore spot was within me.  To my surprise, my Younger Self immediately began a hissy fit. 

She was reacting to a discussion that I had last weekend, one of those intense discussions about heavy duty life stuff that can either make you feel real good (when you are able to connect with someone else and resonate together) or real bad (when, even though you both are saying the same things, it feels like you are arguing).  This was one of the latter discussions, and at the time I shrugged it off, but apparently I am still being bothered by the disconnect. 

My Younger Self’s hissy fit was basically happening because she felt the tone of the discussion was totally **not** acknowledging my own level of expertise.  She kept stamping her feet and shouting, “[The other person in this discussion] is **not** the only person with training.  I have training, too!!!  I’ve worked damned hard for over eight years to get where I am now.  I am Somebody, too!!!”

**sigh**  Here I am, working on the 19th Path of the Tree of Life and finally feeling able to call myself an Adept, and I am experiencing a crisis of self-worth.  Go figure.  I thought I was done with this kind of comparison, but apparently not.  I hugged my Younger Self tight, and began to calmly and softly talk to her.  I told her that first of all, not everyone in this world is going to acknowledge the validity of my training.  Second of all, the deeper she and I get into this training, the less we are going to be able to get validation for what we are learning. The lessons are just way too experiential. Third, and most important (and most true!), I told my Younger Self that there is absolutely no way that I would be able to do the work I am doing without her, so no matter whether or not others are impressed with our level of expertise, I am impressed with her level of expertise.  I cannot do what I am doing without her; I would not have been able to get where I am right now without her.  She is the most important part of me for this kind of work, because she is the reason I can do it at all.  I can’t make this Journey unless she is walking beside me, holding my hand.

I think I made her feel better; and typing this entry is helping even more.  The perception others have of my level of expertise matters, don’t get me wrong, but if others can’t see the progress and growth that has happened for me and that continues to happen for me, that does not mean that progress and growth does not exist.  And some words from a post on the Alchemy Journal really resonate for me today: “We perceive fear as a lack of or absence of courage but courage is not the absence of fear, it is a decision to not be held back by fear. Finding the strength and courage to change your thinking or your situation is one issue, finding the strength and courage to maintain the changes is another.”  I think my task today is more about maintaining.

A water cleanse may be in order.  I will be drinking lots of water today, flooding my system and hopefully washing away any toxins or detritus. Tomorrow is another day, and oh boy, am I dealing with Geburah today!

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The Emperor reversed/Judgement reversed. The Emperor (Fire, hot/separates and dry/shapes, and spontaneous, impulsive and energetic change; Aries, “I want,” action oriented, assertive, pioneering; Heh, window, illumination; and the Path between Tiphareth, the hub of the creation process where energies harmonize and focus to illuminate and clarify, and Chokmah, the place where forms and structure are stabilized and nurtured) represents the power of the mind to shape the world, and I am being told that this kind of power may not be accessible for me today. This power is about organization, and about the ability to live and function within an organized world. I need to remember that each rule and requirement is in place for a reason, even if that reason is not readily apparent to me right now. Judgement (Fire; Pluto, power, metamorphosis, change and rebirth; Shin, fang; the Path between Malkuth, the physical world of action and physical, outer reality, and Hod, which provides analysis and communication) in an upright position tells of a reckoning that allows the union of the material and spiritual worlds into one manifestation. Because the card is reversed, these energies are not able to easily have an effect today; because both of these cards are reversed, I may find that more free-flowing focuses may work better for me.

My Thoth card is the Eight of Disks. “Prudence” is the keyword Crowley assigns to the Eight of Disks (Sun, the inner core of a person or situation, in Virgo, “I serve,” practical, analytical, work and service oriented), and from his viewpoint, this card tells me that as far as money and security are concerned, at times there is much benefit to be had from doing nothing. This card tells of the time when the seeds are sewn, and there is not much else to do but wait for the harvest. But still, maintenance is necessary, as well as patience.

My Legacy card is the Page of Swords, flavored by the King of Swords. The Page of Swords (Capricorn, “I build,” ambition, authority, competence, cunning, Aquarius, “I know,” the group, society, cause-oriented, and Pisces, “I believe,” feeling, soul growth, duality, spirituality) deals with insight, perceptions and the use of the intellect, but through a child’s wonder. This Page is telling me to ask the question, “Why?” because I will learn through the answers I receive, and he is telling me to speak my truth. The flavoring of the King of Swords (the cusp of Capricorn and Aquarius) brings a bit of maturity to the Page; The King of Swords is able to make clear and accurate judgments without the distractive clouds of emotions; this King is not a passive leader, however, and combined with the youthful intensity of the Page, I am presented with some mental intensity. The message of this King is to make choices based on logic and rationality.

My Pearls of Wisdom New Moon card is The Hierophant. The Hierophant corresponds with Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes), Taurus (“I have,” sensual, cautious, stubborn), Vau (the nail which holds tradition in place), and the Path between Chesed (the place where forms and structures are stabilized and nurtured), and Chokmah (dynamic male energy, the origin of vital force and polarity). The old ways and the ancient traditions speak to the moment, and the lessons are available to me, should I pass the test of worthiness. These mysteries are worth attaining for they are part and parcel of alchemical transformation. The energies presented are at one time the question ~and~ the answer.

My 6-digit date number is 10, the number that tells of the ending or completion of a cycle, which further reduces to the number 1, new beginnings and the concept of position.

My horoscopes: “Things coming at you from all sides are forcing you to make a move, Sagittarius. Try not to feel pressured into something you don't want to do. A nervous restlessness is apt to take over your being and urge you to act. Don't let other people's energies dictate your actions. Secure your position and be strong. Don't be lured into situations you know are bad for you.”

And: “Just because you've stumbled a few times in your past doesn't mean you won't have huge success in your future. Don't let your insecurities get the better of you right now -- and avoid folks who like to focus on the negatives. The glass is half full, not half empty. Don't you remember that you're bigger than your faults? Other people understand that, and they're waiting for you to make your next bold move so they can cheer you on.”

And: “Energy stored up inside of you is begging to be released. Do your physical body and mental self a favor by going outside and getting some brisk cardiovascular exercise. You will find that you have a great deal of emotion to burn off, and today is the perfect day to do it. Take this opportunity to give your system the jump-start it needs to get on a healthy exercise track again.”

Well, I made it through my first busy holiday weekend with my sanity intact. We went to a nice holiday get-together on Saturday night, and last night, my dance partner and her family came for dinner. My first attempt at baking a red velvet cake fell short, but I think I know how I can adjust the recipe, and I will try again. And this morning, I saw my first snow flurries.

I am feeling the beginnings of the first tendrils of anticipation of the return of the Sun Father. The Goddess is heavy with pregnancy, and She is moving slowly and resting often in preparation for birth. I can feel that She is enjoying these last moments of quiet and dark, even though She looks forward to the end of Her pregnancy. I also am looking forward to the return of the Sacred Masculine (even though I am enjoying these last days of the dark and quiet); this time between Samhain and Yule has been very beneficial for me this year. I have cleaned out the things that are no longer of use to me and I have solidified my connection to the skills and talents that I will bring forward into the next cycle.

I am also feeling quite a bit more confident in myself. I have weathered some storms these past months, and each time I did my best to do the right thing. This confidence is not necessarily connected to being successful every time I am tested, but rather it is the confidence that I have the skills and talents necessary to create a plan for dealing with most of the challenges that might appear to me. Success is never guaranteed, but the test is more rewarding and gratifying to contemplate when I have the experience necessary to prevent panic.

All in all, I went into this dark quarter of the Wheel feeling a bit unsettled. But so far, it looks as if I will come out of the quiet darkness of Winter a more confident and skilled Witch, with a good handle on the practice of my Craft, and of the Path to be taken from here.

The Pagan Brain Trust had the most awesome Reiki Share last night. Each of us has embraced Reiki, but we have each also embraced the concept of the Internet being a part of the astral realms. Tara in particular has totally embraced the inclusion of the Internet in her workings; and I have been attending online rituals and participating in online Reiki Shares for some time now. But I must say, my experiences with Internet workings of all kinds conducted with my fellow PBT-ers go way beyond what I experience with others. The PBT is truly an example of what Witches are becoming; we are evolving, and we are honoring the knowledge and wisdom that have brought us forward and we are embracing the future, making technology our own. Today’s Wiccan, with her thumb drive Book of Shadows alongside her athame, with her rituals conducted in chat rooms, and with her sigils being launched through emails, has the ability to change with the world around her, and yet remain true to the core values of the Craft.

The next sephiroth to be considered as I move through the Tree of Life is Geburah.

Geburah (Might) is the fifth sephiroth on the Tree, the second on the Pillar of Form/Restriction, and also known as Judgment, and Fear. The manifestations of this sephiroth can indeed be difficult, but they are not evil. To some, an easy life is an ideal situation, but to Pagans, an easy life lacks opportunity for growth and evolution, and they are the purpose of living. The effects of Geburah and just as necessary for balance and health as are those of Chesed.

Geburah also tells of the sacrifice that is necessary to keep the Wheel turning. It tells of the sacrifice, the physical death, which releases energy back into the system. This balance is absolutely necessary, for the serenity of Chesed occurs through the supportive workings of Geburah.

My correspondence list for Geburah is:

Magickal Image: Warrior in Chariot

Planetary: Mars

Vice: Cruelty, Wanton Destruction

Virtue: Energy, Courage

Deity: Warrior, Avenger

Spiritual Experience: Vision of Power

Briatic Correspondence: Power

Illusion: Invincibility

Obligation: Courage

Path: Path 5, the number of motion imposed on stability to test validity.

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