Nine of Cups reversed/Page of Cups reversed. The Nine of Cups (cusp of Aquarius, “I know,” friendships, the group, cause-oriented, and Pisces, “I believe,” feelings, duality, suffering, soul growth) in an upright position is about emotional satisfaction and the ability to find pleasure in feelings and emotions, and in our expectations for the day.  My card is reversed, and this really does make sense to me.  Today is not about satisfaction; it is about digesting the incredible experience I have had over the past few days. The Page of Cups corresponds to Libra (“we are,” partnerships, balance, cooperation), Scorpio (“I desire,” intensity compulsion, mystery) and Sagittarius (“I seek,” philosophic, adventurous, blundering), is very emotional, dreamy, social, and connected to the inner voice.  My Page is reversed today as well, and perhaps the message of these two reversed cards is that I need to be open to what I’m feeling rather than denying those feelings.  I am no less brave for experiencing some turmoil now that all is well and I am safe.  I should not fight this, but accept it without judgment.

My Thoth card is the Ace of Swords reversed. The Ace of Swords (Capricorn, “I build,” ambition, caution authority, cunning, Aquarius and Pisces, “I believe,” feeling, duality, soul growth, artistic) in an upright position tells of the potential within the day to effectively use mental or intellectual abilities. The thing about these abilities is that they sometimes cause a bit of isolation; after all, they are experienced within, and hard to share with others.  This card can be a bit on the passive side too.  The ideas are still potential only and not yet manifested.  My Ace is reversed, however, and while I may not be able to cut through the confusion today, just being aware that there is confusion to be cut through may be enough of a catalyst to bring future results.

My Legacy card is the Five of Cups reversed, flavored by the Page of Wands. The Five of Cups (Mars, action, aggression, drive, in Scorpio, “I desire,” intense, controlling, mysterious, obsessive) tells of an emotional setback, or perhaps a perception that support is lacking.  And the fact that it is reversed is validating my first two Cups cards.  Fear and isolation are not factors any more, although I am still experiencing the effects of my fear and isolation of the past few days.  I have endured, and these uncomfortable feelings will be fading.  The Page of Wands (Cancer, “I feel,” sensitive, tenacious, nurturing, moody; Leo, “I am,” passionate, dramatic noble egotistical; and Virgo, “I serve,” practical, analytical, work and service oriented) is the spark that might end up creating a conflagration, and oh boy, do I need this Page’s optimism.  He applauds me for having courage, and for allowing myself to experience these past few days.  He tells me to congratulate myself, to celebrate rather than feel uncomfortable.  I have stretched the envelope, and that might bring temporary discomfort, but the end result will be exciting.

My 6-digit date number is 8, the number that tells of a conscious and deliberate response to the pause and beginning of degeneration of the number 7, in order to maintain for a bit longer the balance and harmony of the number 6.

My horoscopes: “A love relationship seems more stable than usual today, Sagittarius. The security wraps itself around you like a blanket as you consider the events leading up to this new sense of commitment. You and your partner may spend the evening doing nothing more than being together, which feels great! Mark this day in your memory so you can recall it whenever your insecurities get the better of you.”

And: “Today, you might suffer from an irresistible impulse to put your home in order. You might want to give it a good and thorough cleaning, or you might want to do a little decorating, or perhaps make some minor but necessary repairs. A new decoration, either a sculpture of some kind or a painting or tapestry for the wall, might inspire this desire. By the time you're done, your place should look fabulous. Go to it!”

My Shadowscapes Insight is regarding the Knight of Swords.  This Knight is not about emotions or compassion; he uses mainly logic and is difficult to dissuade from his purpose.  He does not even entertain the tiniest possibility of defeat, and he is a beacon to all who are looking for a leader. 

I took a bike ride on Violet earlier this afternoon.  Thankfully, the berms at Point Park are intact.  We’ve lost some sand at our beach by Jefferson Street, but this is how the beach looked after Hurricane Irene, so I am confident our beach will be better by summer.  Sand removal is still happening on Beach Drive, now up in Poverty Beach.  Hopefully by tomorrow, I can bike up there and check things out.  I also put the porch furniture back out, so my living room nest is starting to disappear.  I am almost sorry to see the living room go back to normal.

I feel strange today, as if everything has tilted or shifted.  Besides the ongoing sand cleanup, it is a normal (but quiet) Fall day in Cape May.  Yet everything is different.  I feel the way I felt after my Reiki attunements, as if my own senses and the ways I perceive the world around me have changed. 

I have felt The Shift coming these past months; all of my “woo-woo” family and friends have felt the approach of “something.”  This hybrid storm seems to be a catalyst of sorts. 

Maybe it is just the aftermath of experiencing the hugely churning energies of the past few days.  Maybe those energies have sand-blasted my senses, making them supercharged.  But it is interesting to me that this storm happened as Samhain approached, the final Fertility Sabbat and the re-setting of the Wheel of the Year.  This is the time that focuses on the Death card of the Tarot Major Arcana, which corresponds with Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts, and sensitive, imaginative energy that strives to stay the same or take the same course), Scorpio, Nun (fish head; liberation), and the Path between Tiphareth (the hub of the creation process where energies harmonize and focus to illuminate and clarify) and Netzach (the stimulating factors of emotion and inspiration), and tells of natural change that cannot be stopped.  In hind sight, I never came close to death over these past days, but there were a few moments when I was a bit nervous for a brief time.  I talked myself down from the ledge, but I could have easily panicked; I could have let the adrenaline rush control me. 

I have reached some tipping point over these past days, since Bob left for Hackensack at about 12 on Saturday afternoon.  The way my life essence fits into my body has shifted.  What will happen?  How will I change?  I don’t know, but change I will.  I can feel it happening already.

I have gathered my blog entries from Hurricane Sandy into one post, and placed it on my Dancing Sparkles FaceBook page.  You can access all the entries in one place, here: https://www.facebook.com/notes/dancing-sparkles/my-hurricane-sandy-journal/371828956237918 .

I just walked around my garden a bit, tapping into the Fall energies all around today.  I came across a few mushrooms, looking like tiny beach umbrellas seen from a plane.  Looks like the garden Faeries had a hurricane party!!

Samhain Blessings!

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Seven of Swords reversed/The High Priestess. The Seven of Swords is about sneaking around to hold onto or attain what we believe should be ours. Sometimes this is necessary, but most of the time it is unethical; because the card is reversed, I may end up finding more ethical means to attain what I want, or maybe I will decide that the effort is not worth the end result, and just release it all to fate. The High Priestess is my significator card, and it corresponds with Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts), the Moon (feelings and emotions, illusion, imagination), Gimel (camel; hidden knowledge), and the Path between Tiphareth (the hub of the creation process where energies harmonize and focus to illuminate and clarify) and Kether (the source; limitless possibility). The presence of The High Priestess tells me that I will be very connected today to the astral realms and their experiential nature, to the Goddess, and to the Sacred Feminine and its mysteries. I will be able to allow things to unfold according to their nature, yet I will learn and I will receive both knowledge and wisdom in the process.

My Thoth card is the Seven of Swords reversed. Hmmm . . . two of those today. My first throw of the Welsh Tarot tends to connect with or reference my conscious self, and my Thoth card tends to connect with or reference my aura and its connection or bridge between my energy body and the outside world. The two cards together may just be an indication that it is the bridge between the realms that is a beneficial focus for me today. Crowley calls this card “Futility,” and he sees this card as being weak and passive, like a “has been” boxer trying to achieve a comeback. Knowing that this Seven corresponds with the Moon helps us to understand its energies; the element of Water weighs down the element of Air, and weakens it.

My Legacy card is the Six of Coins reversed, flavored by the Seven of Wands. The Six of Coins is about the awareness of resources of all kinds. It follows the Five of Coins, and its realization that we don’t have (or we believe that we don’t have) what we need. The Six is the next step, the striving to identify what we really have and what we need to continue, and it is not only about what we personally need for ourselves, but also about what we have of value that could be offered to others. The Seven of Wands is a personal power card for me, and I see it as representing both a threshold or gateway ~and~ a gatekeeper who guards the gateway so that only those who are ready may pass. This Seven manifests the weakness or beginning of degeneration that each Seven contains, but it also tells of mental fortitude and the wonderful achievements that can be attained with its application. Indeed the gatekeeper will not let us pass until he pushes us past our limits; that is the only way to determine if we are ready for what lies within. Because it is flavoring my Six of Coins reversed, I may need to think about both what I need to give and what I need to receive in order to approach the threshold and the gatekeeper.

My 6-digit date number is . . . drum roll please! Seven!! I guess the number 7, and its connection to the beginning of the degeneration of the balance of the number 6, is important to me today!!

The suit of Swords corresponds to the element of Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts) and to the powers of the mind and the intellect that allow us to solve challenges and learn in the process. The Seven of Swords in an upright position describes the efforts to maintain a situation that is showing the early signs of becoming too old or not useful any more. Usually it indicates efforts to maintain that cross the line into unethical territory. Today, I may not need that kind of focus, and that is a good thing because sometimes we waste quite a bit of energy holding on to things that we would be better off releasing.

My horoscopes: “You have lots of energy and self-confidence, Sagittarius. That's wonderful, but it may also put you at greater risk for dangerous experiences and accidents. You could find that you're much more aggressive, especially if someone crosses you. An emotional irritation could manifest in physical ways like reckless driving or arguments with people who don't deserve your anger.”

And: “You're being swallowed up by the good energy of the universe, but knowing you, it's something you've just got to share. What seemed at first like an awkward situation is now simple to smooth over, and whatever has been going well now takes an even sweeter turn. Embrace your friends and those you've had trouble with in the past, and when you do, your karma gets a tremendous boost. It's a great cycle to take part in!”

And: “You should certainly feel free to speak your mind today. You may have a lot of worries troubling you, and find that exposing them to the light of day makes them seem suddenly less threatening. Be sure to choose a close friend to open up to. And if it feels good, by all means, unburden yourself more often!”

One of the main focuses of the last stage of the alchemic Great Work is the integration of all that was learned throughout the cycle. I am being reminded today that I can’t begin the next cycle and reach for the next rung on the ladder until I have completed the integration process of the Rubedo. Indeed, the word means “the fusing of ingredients” and if I don’t complete the process the end result will not be “cured” and ready to be a strong foundation.

Part of this integration process, a good part, has to do with my spiritual life. Yes, I have made changes in my physical world; I have lost over 20 pounds and I am felling physically strong and fit because I have made Yoga and Belly Dance Stretch a part of my daily life. The changes that I impose are easier to deal with (even if they take a bit of willpower to maintain).

It is the changes in my life that are the result of the Paths of others that are a bit unsettling. For example, one of the natural progressions of the Lessons and Degree Training and Extension Classes at Sacred Mists is that the further our students move through the Training processes, the greater number of students there are that fall by the wayside. Some have found that Wicca in general or Sacred Mists in particular are not to be their focus going forward, and there is no harm in that. Some find that they just don’t want to do the work necessary to receive spiritual fulfillment from an experiential, mystery tradition. Some have some inner trauma that is being repressed, and the need for self-knowledge and personal growth that is attached to the process of moving deeper into Wicca may be bringing them closer to that trauma than they want to be. For whatever reason, the further I go into my own training, the more of my fellow Travelers seem to be disappearing. These disappearances are making me question my own path with more and more frequency, and actually, that is a good thing too, in the end. But right now, I feel somewhat lost and alone within my formal Training. Many of those who have been Traveling with me through my own Degree studies are gone, and a good portion of those who are still with me are experiencing their own personal turmoils. I expect that more of them will be changing direction and passing out of my experiences and my growth processes.

I know other Travelers who are not associated with Sacred Mists, who are dealing with their own turmoils and challenges and blockages. Lives are being turned upside down and inside out, all around me. Is it that so many of my family, friends and acquaintances are at similar life stages? Or are these turmoils evidence of an upcoming Shift that will affect us all? I can’t answer those questions; I can only support my fellow Travelers the best that I can, and continue onward with the Path that seems to work best for me, even if I end up Traveling alone because everyone else has found other Ways that better suit their current needs.

Change is stability, and stability needs change in order to exist. This is very, very important to remember, for if we attempt to hold onto the perfection of the moment, even beyond the effectiveness of that perfection, we will be going against the tides and cycles of energy that are life and existence throughout our universe. Indeed, one of the skills I am gaining from the Great Work in general and the Rubedo stage in particular is a more accurate awareness of the cycles of energy around me and the ability to make use of those cycles for my own personal growth. After all, a surfer can only make use of the energy of a wave at just the right moment after the wave tips over and begins its downward roar to the beach and the final disbursement of its power. After all, the only way we can walk, the only way we can take the next step forward, is to consciously choose to leave balance behind and tilt our body’s weight (or make it fall) in the direction we need to go. Precarious, yes; but effective!

Kowabunga!! Surf’s up!!

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