Justice/Eight of Pentacles reversed. While the laws of the physical realms may follow alongside the laws of the Universe, they are only mimicking the Universal laws. I am being reminded today that the Universal laws cannot be violated; no matter how I try to go against them, they will be enforced. My future is directly affected by my past, and I also need to remember that gaining experience for experience’s sake is not a waste of time.
My Thoth card is the Five of Cups reversed. The “Disappointment” card; Crowley states that any disturbance of ease can only be seen as misfortune. The motion of the number Five is what is churning the waters for this Cups card in an upright position. Since the card is reversed, I am being told to be aware of the absence of motion, and to value the ease that could come to me today through that lack of motion.
My horoscope: “Today is a day of fruitful conversations, Sagittarius, especially if they are with someone far away. Even while most of the activities you usually consider chores are being done, there is this kind of anticipation or sense of reward and encouragement that surrounds you today. There may be an ongoing hassle about some kind of joint holding or investment with a friend, but that will play itself out soon enough. The emphasis is on adventure, physical or intellectual, and the opportunity that is coming is what keeps you going right now, not the back and forth arguing with someone of a closed mind.”
I did another Fire Bird meditation last night. This time, when I crawled through the gateway, I ended up in the same field, in the same trampled area, but this time it was overcast and windy. The yellow grasses hissed and sighed as they danced in the wind, and the Fire Bird was there, waiting for me, swooping and playing in the wind gusts. She came down and sat on my arm for her usual head scratch, and then energetically led me forward as always, to the “two moon beach.” The cool thing was that as soon as I stepped from the grasses, the wind was gone. I turned and looked back, and the grasses were still bowing in waves as the gusts pressed against them, but the beach was quiet and still, as if there was a force field separating the two places.
I turned back and surveyed the scene; still two moons in the lavender sky, the beach was untouched, however green grass was still growing thickly in my footprints from my last visit. I walked down to the water along that grass, and was surprised to see something floating in the water, close to the shore. I waded out and picked it up; it was a cylindrical tube about three feet long and six inches in diameter. I took it to the shore and opened it up, and found a rolled up paper inside. I took the paper out and unrolled it. To my surprise, I was holding the Ivan Shishkin painting of the rye field with the trees! That painting grabbed me right from the beginning; looks like I need to study it in detail.
$
Showing posts with label Fire Bird. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fire Bird. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
The Magician reversed/Eight of Pentacles reversed. Interestingly enough, The Magician is the partner to The High Priestess, and while they both focus on knowing and understanding and making use of the effects of the Universe, The Magician in an upright position tells of a concentration on using the outside world; reversed, this card is sending me right back to The High Priestess and her inner focus. I am being told that this inner focus should be about seeking knowledge, but not knowledge for knowledge’s sake; there is a purpose to this striving and an outcome to be gained.
My Thoth card for today is the Six of Disks, which Crowley names “Success.” This card corresponds to Taurus, my rising sign, and tells of reliability and serenity as well as possessiveness and inflexibility. The energies of this Disks card has the usual heaviness and potential for stagnation that Crowley sees in this suit, however they are to a large part counteracted by its number, Six, which is seen by Crowley as a number with Solar influences. Like all successes, the balance of this Disks card is temporary, and I will soon need to go back to work, but for the moment I can enjoy the accomplishments to date, and the resources that have allowed those accomplishments.
Horoscope: “Self-control has never been your strong suit -- but then again, you've never really wanted it to be. You much prefer taking every experience to the absolute nth degree, pushing every envelope just as far as it can possibly be pushed, and seeing just how much fun you can actually stand -- which is usually quite a bit, truth be told. That's going to go double now, so lay in a decent supply of antacids, aspirin and very strong coffee.”
And: “No matter what you do or who you are talking today, Sagittarius, the absolute worst thing that can happen is for you to discuss proprietary information, or breach someone else's trust. This might be the kind of thing that could cause problems for a supervisor or manager at work, and that would be disastrous. Even if it's innocent and you don't mean anything by it, it could affect your reputation in a negative way. There seem to be old issues at work that need to be broken up into manageable pieces. In the meantime, don't let yourself fall into worry right now.”
Also: “You have strong psychic vision, dear Sagittarius. Some people might say that you are prophetic, but in reality your gift is a combination of creativity and intuition. You can use this to benefit others. And, in fact, have often done so. You are known as someone who dispenses good advice. But today, be sure to do so with some restraint. People are listening closely to what you have to say. If you advise someone to jump off a bridge, they just might do it!”
I did another Fire Bird meditation last night. I found the entry to the meadow, and stepped into my little spot. This time it was late afternoon; I could not see the sun itself but the sky to the West was turning pink and the sky to the East was showing the beginning of the Belt of Venus. Before I could sit or lay down, the Fire Bird was circling above me; I held out my arm and she landed. With a smile, I gently petted her chest, and then after she lowered her head and raised her feathers, I scratched the back of her neck for a while. Then she straightened, and off we went on our zig-zagging walk. We ended up once again at the same place, or I should say I ended up there. This time, I walked down to the water’s edge and made myself comfortable. I grounded myself and then opened all my senses, listening and watching on both the physical and non-physical planes, and waiting patiently for something to happen. Nothing. All was quiet, the very tiny lapping waves were barely making a sound at all.
Finally, I sighed and stood up and turned to walk back to the grass. To my surprise, each of my footsteps in the sand were filled with grasses! The footsteps closest to where I stood contained the beginnings of the grass, but the footsteps back by the wall of golden grass contained plants that were already knee high. The grass was following me?
Or was it that my presence was acting as a catalyst. I read a short story once that told of a group of people who founded an outpost on the planet Mars. Their presence and the minute chemical changes that were caused by their presence started life. All over the area, new plants began to grow, plants that were at first very alien in their makeup. However, as they continued to impose their human and earthly chemicals onto the area, the plants began changing and becoming more useful to them. Was that what was happening here? Was it my presence that made that grass grow?
I will try again.
Mystery and I started our Shadow Work last night, even though I don’t have my Legacy Tarot yet. The initial spread hints at some pretty powerful stuff. I did some brief work with the first spread last night but I plan on looking at each of the cards with more depth tonight. Then maybe I will post their info here. LOL, looks like tomorrow’s post is going to be another long one.
Tonight the Divination Department is having a brief meeting to go over everyone’s responsibilities. We are growing so fast! I am proud of what the Divination Department has become; this is an intricate organization, and it works in large part because everyone who is associated with the Department in any way works hard and cares.
$
My Thoth card for today is the Six of Disks, which Crowley names “Success.” This card corresponds to Taurus, my rising sign, and tells of reliability and serenity as well as possessiveness and inflexibility. The energies of this Disks card has the usual heaviness and potential for stagnation that Crowley sees in this suit, however they are to a large part counteracted by its number, Six, which is seen by Crowley as a number with Solar influences. Like all successes, the balance of this Disks card is temporary, and I will soon need to go back to work, but for the moment I can enjoy the accomplishments to date, and the resources that have allowed those accomplishments.
Horoscope: “Self-control has never been your strong suit -- but then again, you've never really wanted it to be. You much prefer taking every experience to the absolute nth degree, pushing every envelope just as far as it can possibly be pushed, and seeing just how much fun you can actually stand -- which is usually quite a bit, truth be told. That's going to go double now, so lay in a decent supply of antacids, aspirin and very strong coffee.”
And: “No matter what you do or who you are talking today, Sagittarius, the absolute worst thing that can happen is for you to discuss proprietary information, or breach someone else's trust. This might be the kind of thing that could cause problems for a supervisor or manager at work, and that would be disastrous. Even if it's innocent and you don't mean anything by it, it could affect your reputation in a negative way. There seem to be old issues at work that need to be broken up into manageable pieces. In the meantime, don't let yourself fall into worry right now.”
Also: “You have strong psychic vision, dear Sagittarius. Some people might say that you are prophetic, but in reality your gift is a combination of creativity and intuition. You can use this to benefit others. And, in fact, have often done so. You are known as someone who dispenses good advice. But today, be sure to do so with some restraint. People are listening closely to what you have to say. If you advise someone to jump off a bridge, they just might do it!”
I did another Fire Bird meditation last night. I found the entry to the meadow, and stepped into my little spot. This time it was late afternoon; I could not see the sun itself but the sky to the West was turning pink and the sky to the East was showing the beginning of the Belt of Venus. Before I could sit or lay down, the Fire Bird was circling above me; I held out my arm and she landed. With a smile, I gently petted her chest, and then after she lowered her head and raised her feathers, I scratched the back of her neck for a while. Then she straightened, and off we went on our zig-zagging walk. We ended up once again at the same place, or I should say I ended up there. This time, I walked down to the water’s edge and made myself comfortable. I grounded myself and then opened all my senses, listening and watching on both the physical and non-physical planes, and waiting patiently for something to happen. Nothing. All was quiet, the very tiny lapping waves were barely making a sound at all.
Finally, I sighed and stood up and turned to walk back to the grass. To my surprise, each of my footsteps in the sand were filled with grasses! The footsteps closest to where I stood contained the beginnings of the grass, but the footsteps back by the wall of golden grass contained plants that were already knee high. The grass was following me?
Or was it that my presence was acting as a catalyst. I read a short story once that told of a group of people who founded an outpost on the planet Mars. Their presence and the minute chemical changes that were caused by their presence started life. All over the area, new plants began to grow, plants that were at first very alien in their makeup. However, as they continued to impose their human and earthly chemicals onto the area, the plants began changing and becoming more useful to them. Was that what was happening here? Was it my presence that made that grass grow?
I will try again.
Mystery and I started our Shadow Work last night, even though I don’t have my Legacy Tarot yet. The initial spread hints at some pretty powerful stuff. I did some brief work with the first spread last night but I plan on looking at each of the cards with more depth tonight. Then maybe I will post their info here. LOL, looks like tomorrow’s post is going to be another long one.
Tonight the Divination Department is having a brief meeting to go over everyone’s responsibilities. We are growing so fast! I am proud of what the Divination Department has become; this is an intricate organization, and it works in large part because everyone who is associated with the Department in any way works hard and cares.
$
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Six of Cups reversed/The High Priestess. Okay, this Six is turning up quite a bit of late. And The High Priestess!! Funny that she shows up right now. The Six of Cups not only refers to a balanced and serene joy, but it also tells us that a major part of that joy is made up of whatever it was that got me to this place and this time. I seem to be forgetting to value my experiences, for the gifts of the present and the possibilities of the future are all alive because of what I remember. And I don’t necessarily need to understand why this is so; sometimes we need to have a drop or two of the unknown added to the mix in order to be able to view and understand each facet separately, yet balance the entire concept. I am also being told that the voice of my Shadow is important today.
My Thoth card for today is the Seven of Swords reversed. In an upright position this card represents “Futility,” and the passive nature of the Moon. Unlike the Four of Swords, where the pause is chosen in order to benefit from the effect, the Seven of Swords seems to feel like it is nearly out of gas and is wondering whether the efforts involved in obtaining a refill will be worth it. Thankfully, the card is reversed; I may find that I feel as if I am walking against the tide today, but the destination will be worth the effort to get there.
My horoscopes: “Information received through modern communication systems such as faxes, email, or the Internet might make it possible for you to change your job, your residence, or at least the way you think or operate, Nancy. You might be feeling a bit nervous and jumpy at the prospect, but you'll pull it off all right. Don't be afraid to go with the flow and make changes today. This is only one hurdle in the course of your personal development.”
And: “More than likely, you will be caught up in a wildly intense emotional drama if you aren't careful, dear Sagittarius. Try to stay calm and collected. Find a quiet place where you can relax and be alone. Your energy is there, but it may be a bit more reserved and subtle on a day like this. Be the stable oasis in the raging sea. Make peace with the people around you.”
And my favorite one today: “Things are only seeming tougher than normal at work because you feel like you are stuck in place, and the powers that be aren't listening. You will break out of this current rut soon enough, but that can't be fast enough for you. Recent turns of events may have left you feeling a little rough, but in some way, they will be responsible for the fulfillment of a wish that you've had for some time.”
Okay, I think I will ground often today.
My second Fire Bird meditation was somewhat similar to my first. I had no trouble finding the entry into the meadow, and I ended up back in that one spot where I had flattened down the grass in order to see. This time, it was not noon, but rather early in the morning, and quiet. The nighttime crickets had gone to bed and the daytime insects were just waking up. I lay on my back in the grass, watching as the tips of the strands of grass were kissed by the rays of the sun still low in the sky, but I was still immersed in the shadowy twilight at the base of the grasses.
And there she was, circling high overhead. I lay there, watching as the Fire Bird circled lower and lower, and suddenly she cocked her wings and dove downward, landing by my right side. She stood still for a bit, and we looked into each other’s eyes. Then, I looked at her plumage; her yellow-orange feathers were actually tipped in an iridescent red; how lovely. I reached out and gently ran my fingers down her breast, and when she did not nip at me, I petted her soft feathers with more confidence. I remembered how my macaw used to love having the back of his neck scratched, so I slowly moved my fingers upward. To my delight, as I gently scratched her neck, she lowered her head and raised up her feathers to allow me easy access. Her eyes blinked slowly for several minutes as she enjoyed herself, but then she backed a way, and nudged me, encouraging me to get up.
Like last time, the Fire Bird began leading me through the tall grasses, the tops of which were wet with dew. Once again, I broke out of the grasses just as I ran out of strength, and ended up in the same place as last time: the quiet, rocky beach with the still, mirror-like water, lavender sky and two moons. Again, I was alone. I waited, looking around, but no one appeared. I looked down, and saw no footprints on the sand at all, not mine, not any animal’s. No birds, no breeze, no big waves, very little sound or movement; but I could smell the ocean. And this time there was a sense of waiting patiently for something.
The meditation faded; I am certain that sooner or later I will find out what I am waiting for.
I am crossing my fingers that my new Legacy Tarot deck is in; if it is, I will be doing my first Shadow Work spread tonight. I realized something interesting while putting together some preparatory work for Mystery and I: while sending Mystery the Shadow keywords for our significators (The Magician for M and The Empress for me), I also looked at the Shadow keywords for The High Priestess, because M sees me as that card. Well, blow me down, I do seem to be more like The H.P. right now than The Empress.
Here is what I found on all three cards:
The Magician: Lack of Focus v. Focus. Not applying your energy and efforts in the right direction; being scattered; lacking focus or not focusing on the real issue; starting many projects and not being able to finish them. Shadow gifts: being able to prioritize; being able to choose; taking action on your own behalf rather than just wishing for change; creating order out of chaos; being aware of your inner guide; seeing your own potential; being able to make your own reality.
The Empress: Smothering v. Mothering. Being a controlling woman; focusing so much on others that self-nurturing is neglected; smothering others with a “love” that stifles individuality; emotional neediness; brooding; holding on to destructive situations; destroying rather than creating; being emotionally barren. Shadow gifts: the creator within; fertility of mind, body and spirit; creating rather than destroying; nurturing rather than controlling; getting in touch with sensuality; allowing everyone their own truths.
The High Priestess: Superficiality v. Intuition. Being too literal or intellectual; not looking below the surface; not trusting intuition; being too caught up in intuitive world; being unwilling or afraid to explore the subconscious; being unable to acknowledge the masculine/feminine aspect of the personality. Shadow gifts: having complete faith in your intuition; being able to make logical decisions based on intuition; balancing the intellect and intuition; exploring the unconscious, connecting with the anima.
I also asked my Patroness Danu about this card (The H.P.) that seems to be presenting itself to me. I guess I got a dressing down; here are Her words:
“My dearest Daughter, why are you having such difficulty with this concept? You yourself can feel evidence of the changes that have happened to you, changes that are in part due to the reactions you are choosing as responses to the challenges that I present to you, and in part due to years of very hard work and study. You are walking the walk and talking the talk, my Daughter. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it is most certainly a duck. *smile* I do so love the picturesque metaphors of your language!
Are you reluctant to assume the responsibilities of this card because you feel presumptuous? Yes, my Daughter, I know that there are many who claim to be justified in having The High Priestess bestowed as a significator, but do you doubt that you have worked long and hard to get to the place you are at today? Do you doubt that you are at the stage within your Craft that this card should be your rightful focus?
Are you reluctant to assume the responsibilities of this card because you believe that this choice to accept will take something from you? You are still My student, Dear One, no matter what level of achievement you receive or attain in this life that I have given to you. Don’t feel that you will loose any opportunities to be My student, or to continue to receive from Me challenges and opportunities for growth, for none of them will be left behind if you choose to step into this card and begin the process of becoming The High Priestess.
Daughter, the longer you try to move against the tide the longer it will take until you can get down to work. Trust in Me and accept what is offered.”
When I tried to ask The General (one of my guides) what he thought, he just laughed and laughed. He enjoyed my discomfort over this whole H.P. thing, and I would not be a bit surprised if he knew from way back during our first meeting, when he laughed at me derisively because I said that I aspired to be the H.P., that I would reach this point and have to deal with this reluctance of mine to appear that I am choosing to present myself as the “grand poobah fluffy bunny High Priestess” who is all name and no substance.
LOL, I went back and re-read what I posted regarding my Tarot throw for today. Okay, then. I will work with The High Priestess, and I will trust in Danu and believe that I am supposed to be working with the energies of this card right now. I will open myself to becoming The High Priestess, but in doing so I will not leave behind what I have been taught by The Empress.
$
My Thoth card for today is the Seven of Swords reversed. In an upright position this card represents “Futility,” and the passive nature of the Moon. Unlike the Four of Swords, where the pause is chosen in order to benefit from the effect, the Seven of Swords seems to feel like it is nearly out of gas and is wondering whether the efforts involved in obtaining a refill will be worth it. Thankfully, the card is reversed; I may find that I feel as if I am walking against the tide today, but the destination will be worth the effort to get there.
My horoscopes: “Information received through modern communication systems such as faxes, email, or the Internet might make it possible for you to change your job, your residence, or at least the way you think or operate, Nancy. You might be feeling a bit nervous and jumpy at the prospect, but you'll pull it off all right. Don't be afraid to go with the flow and make changes today. This is only one hurdle in the course of your personal development.”
And: “More than likely, you will be caught up in a wildly intense emotional drama if you aren't careful, dear Sagittarius. Try to stay calm and collected. Find a quiet place where you can relax and be alone. Your energy is there, but it may be a bit more reserved and subtle on a day like this. Be the stable oasis in the raging sea. Make peace with the people around you.”
And my favorite one today: “Things are only seeming tougher than normal at work because you feel like you are stuck in place, and the powers that be aren't listening. You will break out of this current rut soon enough, but that can't be fast enough for you. Recent turns of events may have left you feeling a little rough, but in some way, they will be responsible for the fulfillment of a wish that you've had for some time.”
Okay, I think I will ground often today.
My second Fire Bird meditation was somewhat similar to my first. I had no trouble finding the entry into the meadow, and I ended up back in that one spot where I had flattened down the grass in order to see. This time, it was not noon, but rather early in the morning, and quiet. The nighttime crickets had gone to bed and the daytime insects were just waking up. I lay on my back in the grass, watching as the tips of the strands of grass were kissed by the rays of the sun still low in the sky, but I was still immersed in the shadowy twilight at the base of the grasses.
And there she was, circling high overhead. I lay there, watching as the Fire Bird circled lower and lower, and suddenly she cocked her wings and dove downward, landing by my right side. She stood still for a bit, and we looked into each other’s eyes. Then, I looked at her plumage; her yellow-orange feathers were actually tipped in an iridescent red; how lovely. I reached out and gently ran my fingers down her breast, and when she did not nip at me, I petted her soft feathers with more confidence. I remembered how my macaw used to love having the back of his neck scratched, so I slowly moved my fingers upward. To my delight, as I gently scratched her neck, she lowered her head and raised up her feathers to allow me easy access. Her eyes blinked slowly for several minutes as she enjoyed herself, but then she backed a way, and nudged me, encouraging me to get up.
Like last time, the Fire Bird began leading me through the tall grasses, the tops of which were wet with dew. Once again, I broke out of the grasses just as I ran out of strength, and ended up in the same place as last time: the quiet, rocky beach with the still, mirror-like water, lavender sky and two moons. Again, I was alone. I waited, looking around, but no one appeared. I looked down, and saw no footprints on the sand at all, not mine, not any animal’s. No birds, no breeze, no big waves, very little sound or movement; but I could smell the ocean. And this time there was a sense of waiting patiently for something.
The meditation faded; I am certain that sooner or later I will find out what I am waiting for.
I am crossing my fingers that my new Legacy Tarot deck is in; if it is, I will be doing my first Shadow Work spread tonight. I realized something interesting while putting together some preparatory work for Mystery and I: while sending Mystery the Shadow keywords for our significators (The Magician for M and The Empress for me), I also looked at the Shadow keywords for The High Priestess, because M sees me as that card. Well, blow me down, I do seem to be more like The H.P. right now than The Empress.
Here is what I found on all three cards:
The Magician: Lack of Focus v. Focus. Not applying your energy and efforts in the right direction; being scattered; lacking focus or not focusing on the real issue; starting many projects and not being able to finish them. Shadow gifts: being able to prioritize; being able to choose; taking action on your own behalf rather than just wishing for change; creating order out of chaos; being aware of your inner guide; seeing your own potential; being able to make your own reality.
The Empress: Smothering v. Mothering. Being a controlling woman; focusing so much on others that self-nurturing is neglected; smothering others with a “love” that stifles individuality; emotional neediness; brooding; holding on to destructive situations; destroying rather than creating; being emotionally barren. Shadow gifts: the creator within; fertility of mind, body and spirit; creating rather than destroying; nurturing rather than controlling; getting in touch with sensuality; allowing everyone their own truths.
The High Priestess: Superficiality v. Intuition. Being too literal or intellectual; not looking below the surface; not trusting intuition; being too caught up in intuitive world; being unwilling or afraid to explore the subconscious; being unable to acknowledge the masculine/feminine aspect of the personality. Shadow gifts: having complete faith in your intuition; being able to make logical decisions based on intuition; balancing the intellect and intuition; exploring the unconscious, connecting with the anima.
I also asked my Patroness Danu about this card (The H.P.) that seems to be presenting itself to me. I guess I got a dressing down; here are Her words:
“My dearest Daughter, why are you having such difficulty with this concept? You yourself can feel evidence of the changes that have happened to you, changes that are in part due to the reactions you are choosing as responses to the challenges that I present to you, and in part due to years of very hard work and study. You are walking the walk and talking the talk, my Daughter. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it is most certainly a duck. *smile* I do so love the picturesque metaphors of your language!
Are you reluctant to assume the responsibilities of this card because you feel presumptuous? Yes, my Daughter, I know that there are many who claim to be justified in having The High Priestess bestowed as a significator, but do you doubt that you have worked long and hard to get to the place you are at today? Do you doubt that you are at the stage within your Craft that this card should be your rightful focus?
Are you reluctant to assume the responsibilities of this card because you believe that this choice to accept will take something from you? You are still My student, Dear One, no matter what level of achievement you receive or attain in this life that I have given to you. Don’t feel that you will loose any opportunities to be My student, or to continue to receive from Me challenges and opportunities for growth, for none of them will be left behind if you choose to step into this card and begin the process of becoming The High Priestess.
Daughter, the longer you try to move against the tide the longer it will take until you can get down to work. Trust in Me and accept what is offered.”
When I tried to ask The General (one of my guides) what he thought, he just laughed and laughed. He enjoyed my discomfort over this whole H.P. thing, and I would not be a bit surprised if he knew from way back during our first meeting, when he laughed at me derisively because I said that I aspired to be the H.P., that I would reach this point and have to deal with this reluctance of mine to appear that I am choosing to present myself as the “grand poobah fluffy bunny High Priestess” who is all name and no substance.
LOL, I went back and re-read what I posted regarding my Tarot throw for today. Okay, then. I will work with The High Priestess, and I will trust in Danu and believe that I am supposed to be working with the energies of this card right now. I will open myself to becoming The High Priestess, but in doing so I will not leave behind what I have been taught by The Empress.
$
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Ten of Swords/Page of Cups. Today, it may seem to me that my brain has given up and shut down, or a crisis (or several crises) may appear that will leave me without apparent answers or solutions. But that Page of Cups, standing on the steady rock while surrounded by the spray of waves breaking around him as he steadily holds his cup, brings me a message that carries all the good emotions that will counteract the dry heat of too much intellect that is blinded to the answers. I am being told that no matter how dark it gets before the dawn, I need to remember that soon enough, light will return. I will be able to sense the returning light not by watching for it, but by feeling for it.
My Thoth card for today is . . . drum roll . . . a Cups card!! The Ace of Cups, which in many ways corresponds with that Page of Cups from the Welsh Tarot, tells of the power of the Holy Grail and the sustenance of pure, unconditional love. All I need is love.
My horoscopes: “Your freedom is more important to you than anything else in your life. It is often very difficult for you to get involved, whether personally or professionally. Nevertheless, dear Sagittarius, today you may have to think about it. Could it be that your thirst for freedom is just an escape? You may feel it necessary to think about this question. Who knows? You may just decide to take the leap!”
And: “You may feel as if your battery has run out of juice today, Nancy. You may be asking yourself if what you are doing is really worth it. Don't despair. A car will be along soon that can help give you a jump. Once you get your engine started again, there will be no stopping you. Don't be afraid to go out in the middle of the road and flag someone down. No one will know that you need help unless you ask for it.”
Another day of attempting to be adaptable and positive despite whatever minor plan changes happen. Things may not go as planned today, at least according to my cards and my horoscopes, but I sense that if I keep in contact with the energy within me that I have strengthened and purified of late, I will end up with a smile on my face.
I did my first meditation with the Fire Bird last night. I have been told that the Fire Bird is a part of an old Slavic myth, and given tidbits of information and some names and pictures by a student of Sacred Mists, Maeve, and instructed to find the Fire Bird. I did look at a few of the pictures, but decided to wait until my first attempt before looking at them all. Here is what happened in my meditation.
I began by bringing myself to darkness, to no sensations at all, and then began to wait and watch. Soon enough, there below me, was a light. I moved towards the light, and found an opening in the dark, as if I was looking at a black wall and someone had broken a hole into the wall, a hole with rough edges and a little over a yard in diameter. Through that hole I could see golden light, light that hurt my eyes because it was so bright after the sensory deprivation of the darkness.
But I did not let that discomfort stop me; I crawled right through that hole, into the warm and bright light. LOL, looking back on it now, it was almost like being born, going from the quiet darkness into the much brighter sensory overload of another world. Once through, I stood up and looked around.
I was standing in what seemed to be an endless field of tall grass. Each stalk of grass was over waist high, topped with a small tassel of seeds, and was that golden yellow-brown of late summer. The sky was the bright blue-white of an August noon, but I could not see the sun anywhere, just feel and see its intense light. I could hear crickets everywhere, chirping and humming a steady, diligent chorus. Every so often there were patches of small light purple flowers, five or six star-like blooms growing on stalks that were the same height as the grass, so the flowers seemed to be floating amid the sea of gold that was this meadow.
Okay, not the place that I would have expected to contact the Fire Bird, but I won’t let that stop me. I flattened a circle around me so that I could see, and began to visualize the picture of Vasilissa and proceeded to introduce myself to her and tell her that Maeve sent me to her with the hope that she would help me to meet the Fire Bird. To my joy, she immediately smiled sweetly and then turned and pointed.
Up in the bright sky I saw a speck that tuned out to be a bird, soaring on the updrafts. The bird had the broad wings with finger-like primaries at the tips, like my totem animal, turkey vulture, but her tail was longer, more like the blue and gold macaw that I lived with for over a decade. She circled, a dark shape against the bright sky, eve lower, until she landed at my feet.
She was smaller than I expected, larger than a bald eagle, but not beyond the realm of possibility as far as existing in the physical realms. She was an orangy red color, more orange than red, with a touch of brown. Her eyes were red, with a black pupil that dilated as she examined me carefully for long moments. Then, she looked around and then moved toward the edge of the area that I had flattened, and she bit off two long strands of the golden grass. She then moved toward me. I crouched down so that I was at eye level with her, unsure of what was expected of me. She stopped when she got close to me, and looked at me expectantly, so I put out my right hand; she promptly dropped the two strands of grass into my palm, and then suddenly crouched and then sprang upward with a flap of wings.
She moved a bit away, and then turned and hovered, again watching me expectantly. Okay, I was game; I began to move toward her, pushing through the surprisingly tough grasses. She let out one loud, strident call and then flew further and a little to the right, and then hovered until I caught up with her, when she moved on once more. We zig-zagged forward, and I became hotter and more sweaty and more tired. Just as I was ready to give up and sink down into the grass, I broke through, stumbling forward.
I ended up in a place that I had been to before during a meditation, many years ago, when I first connected with turkey vulture and used to fly with him. I was on a beach that stretched out forever, with cliffs behind me. There were rough pillars of rock here and there in the almost glass-like still waters before me. All was quiet and nearly motionless, no wind, only the tiniest of lapping waves, and nothing else alive appeared at all. What made the scene so alien and strange was that the sky was a lilac color, dark along the horizon and lighter at the zenith, and there were two moons, one a little lower and a little smaller than the other, riding low in the sky. I stood there, looking around, waiting to see what was going to happen, but all was quiet and empty. The Fire Bird had disappeared. Just as I realized that I was still clutching those two strands of grass, the meditation faded.
One surprising thing and food for thought today: the blue bird that Uriel had placed into my mind was not surprised to see the Fire Bird.
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