The Star reversed/Nine of Swords. The Star (Air, hot/separates and wet/adapts; Aquarius; Qof, back of head; the Path between Malkuth, the physical world of action and outer, physical reality, and Netzach, the stimulating factors of emotion and inspiration) is the “good will to all” card.  Upright, The Star is about optimism and faith, synergy with the world, and an awareness of that synergy.  My Star is reversed today, and that means anything from feelings being blocked all the way to a sense of hopelessness and oppression. The Nine of Swords (Mars, action, spontaneity, aggression, in Gemini, “I think,” curious, talkative, social, dual) represents brooding and worrying, usually self-caused, and usually unproductive.  Combined with my reversed Star, things may seem really troublesome right now, but I need to remember that my perception could be off.  Things are probably better than I think they are.

My Thoth card is The Hermit. The Hermit corresponds with Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes, and material, practical and stable energy that is slow to change), as well as Virgo (“I serve,” practical, analytical, work and service oriented, orderly), Yod (open hand, touch), and the Path between Tiphareth (the hub of the creation process where energies harmonize and focus to illuminate and clarify) and Chesed (the place where forms and structure are stabilized and nurtured), and is about searching within for a deeper meaning.  I see a theme here; I will be looking within, much more than expected.  This may not be a comfortable feeling, but if I hang in there, if I try to not be pessimistic, and if I attempt to break through and connect with the surrounding energies, I might learn something.

My Legacy card is Temperance reversed, flavored by The Devil reversed. Temperance corresponds with Sagittarius (“I seek,” philosophic, adventurous, blundering) Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes, and spontaneous, impulsive, energetic change), Samekh (the tent post), and the Path between Yesod (the place where patterns and images emerge that may manifest into the physical world of action and outer reality) and Tiphareth (the hub of the creation process where energies harmonize and focus to illuminate and clarify), and is a powerful Major Arcana cards that presents one version of the concept of balance.  My Temperance card is reversed, and again I am being warned that there could be an imbalance that might bring discomfort. The Devil (Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes, and stable, material, practical energies that are slow to change), Capricorn (“I build,” ambitious, competent, cautious, cunning), Ayin (the eye, senses), and the Path between Hod (which provides analysis and communication) and Tipareth (the hub of the creation process where energies harmonize and focus to illuminate and clarify) tells of being caught up in the physical world and the effects of the physical senses, to the point of being bound or addicted to those things.  My Devil may be flavoring my Temperance card, but it is reversed, thankfully.  The reversed Devil will bring me faith in myself, and in my ability to bring back some balance, and survive the day.

My 6-digit date number is 5, the number of movement imposed on stability to get rid of stagnation. 

My horoscopes: “The coming days promise a busy social time, Sagittarius. You might host a party at your home. You may feel terribly rushed and wonder if you will be able to get everything done. Don't worry. It will all come out all right. Friends or family members could prove invaluable in lending assistance. At some point, you might attend or take part in a sports event.”

And: “If you can't feed your artistic tendencies in the work you do, today is a good day to create a better balance and make your days more satisfying. Art isn't just for artists, Sagittarius. All you have to do is take the initiative to create something and you will see just how good it feels. Have you ever thought about writing a children's book? This is one idea, considering the planetary aspects.”

My Shadowscapes Insight is regarding The Hierophant.  This card is about secrets and traditions, rituals and ceremonies, and it is about the value of cultural information, passed down by the generations.  Today these things have value, they are important.  And being aware of the power to be had in the simplest of words and the simplest of actions will bring fulfillment.

So far, girls’ weekend is awesome.  We are getting lots of rain today, so we’ve had a nice cozy day.  We’ve got home made eggplant parm for dinner, and hopefully the rain will let up so we can walk on the beach.  Lots of wine to still drink, too; should be a great night.

I am trying to give myself a bit of a break concerning my Shadow Work, but it is difficult to not think about what I have been learning and working with.  The challenges I have been presented with are difficult ones, but with this kind of study, I would be surprised if they were not.  After all, I have worked hard to get to where I am now, much of the work done in a solitary fashion, and thus I am unable to validate my efforts.  But if the level of challenges being presented to me are any indication, I’ve accomplished more than I thought I did.

It is interesting to me that each of these challenges are directly related to my focus for this round of Shadow Work: why I can’t allow the perceptions or judgments of others to color my own self value. 

Yes, my mind understands that I am only responsible for my own thoughts, words and deeds.  I cannot affect how others choose to see me, whether those perceptions are good or bad.  What I need to remember is that as long as I can look myself in the mirror and know that I have done my best, and know that I have not consciously or deliberately chosen to be unethical, and know that even when situations have conspired to present difficult choices to me I have always acted with the highest intention, then there is not much more that I can do. 

I also need to remember that while I am responsible for my own thoughts, words and deeds, I am not responsible for fixing everyone else’s problems or perceptions of me.  I have the power to choose, and no one can take that power away from me unless I allow them to take it; the same holds true for others.  I cannot choose for another; I can only choose for myself.  If I make certain that my choices are done through an intention to do my best and to cause the least amount of harm, then I can stand by my own choices. 

And no matter what others think of me or how others interpret my words or actions, in the end, that is what matters.

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