Ten of Swords/The Fool. The Ten of Swords represents the result of over-reliance on logic and the workings of the mind without allowing emotions or stability or the unexpected to play their parts. The Fool, however, makes up for the cold logic that leads to destruction found in this Ten. Even though The Fool corresponds with Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts) as does the suit of Swords, and the planet Uranus, which is about technology and science, Uranus is also about the radical change and the unexpected that is not a part of the Ten. Aleph, the head, stands for youthful learning, filled with enthusiasm and awe; those are not found in the Ten of Swords either. The number 10 is about endings and completions, but The Fool is about endings that immediately transform into new beginnings. So endings are addressed in these cards today, and it appears that while I may not be able to control the timing of the ending, I am being told that I can control my reaction to the endings that happen. I can either feel weighed down by them, or I can see them as an exciting adventure.

My Thoth card is the Five of Cups reversed. Crowley calls this card ‘Disappointment,” and he feels that any disturbance of serenity or pleasure is not fun. Because the card is reversed, I will most likely not end up disappointed today, whether I experience the movement of the number 5 or the pleasure and serenity of the suit of Cups.

My Legacy card is the Four of Coins. This card is about the potential for security in the material world, to the point of ending up in possession of something that I may fear loosing. This is an interesting combination: material bounty and insecurity!

My 6-digit date number is 7, the beginning of the end of the balance of yesterday.

My horoscope: “As you get older, you're drawn more and more to spiritual matters, Sagittarius. It isn't so much that you're embracing any particular religion, more that you're quite curious about the supernatural and some of the ancient arts. Take some time today to visit the library or bookstore and do some reading on the subject. You might want to form a study group with other like-minded individuals.” Ya think?!

There is an essay on the website of the teacher of Thai Massage under whom I will soon be studying (Yay!!), regarding thresholds. In that essay, “threshold” is described as a passageway, or better yet, as an overture within a passageway. In Thai Massage, the concept of threshold is filled with intensity and power (with “intensity” being described as “listening for the echo” in order to correctly and efficiently direct focus). This means that each and every action or thought can be said to be a response to a threshold, and the resulting focus on that action or thought stimulates the vitality of everything involved in manifesting that action or thinking that thought.

The actual passing through the threshold can also be broken down. First there is the buildup of awareness. Then there is a moment called “relent,” which is the awe-inspiring peak or moment of transformation that offers access and a sanction of the efforts. The “relent” in turn grants “permission,” which opens us to all possibilities that lay beyond the threshold.

[Based on information from the essay, “Threshold Therapy,” from the Vedic Conservatory website.]

I am standing in the threshold between the Albido and the Citrinitas, wavering back and forth and seeking the Key of Entry that is hidden within this threshold. There are moments when all seems to be lit by the warm golden light of the Citrinitas, and then at other times, I feel that I have slipped back to the cleansing of the Albido. Unlike physical alchemy, this psychological process does not have clear and permanent moments of completing one stage and beginning another. Soon, I will pass through the threshold; I have a feeling that I had better get all these loose ends tied up first because once I pass, I will be only able to go forward to the next level.

And I have made much progress in understanding what is weighing me down these past four days. I do know what the blockage is, but I have not been successful, at least until this morning, in releasing the angst. Surprisingly, on the day of the full moon, it was Kali who assisted me. She has reminded me that allowing myself to agonize over decisions and the ability to control or not control events of the physical realms is a complete and utter waste of energy and abilities. Finally, both my brain and my heart are in accord, and the healing is progressing at an astounding rate. I am, after all, only responsible for my own actions and my own choices and my own responses; and everything in the physical world is quite temporary and not worth interfering with love.

Tonight, I will be doing my first Reiki Master attunements! I am excited and proud to be making my first Reiki Master/Teachers, two of my much loved Pagan brain Trust-ers. If all goes well (and I have no reason to expect this to **not** go well), I will be making another Master/Teacher in the near future, Pat from my belly dance class.

Awesome!!

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Page of Wands/Six of Pentacles. Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes) of Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes), and another Earth card. The Page of Wands is about getting results through action, and about the feeling of optimism for the future that is the byproduct of these actions. The Six of Pentacles is a great card to be here alongside the Page of Wands, for it tells of the potential for the integration of the other three elements into the physical realms, thus bringing Balance and fulfillment!

My Thoth card is the Queen of Disks. Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts) of Earth, and the ability to make good decisions regarding resources. But these decisions will not be rushed; instead they will be sensible and well thought out, for owning material wealth means nothing unless that wealth can nourish us.

My Legacy card is the Ten of Swords. This card tells of an overreliance on logic. Even though Swords represent the element of Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts), too much of the corresponding logic can end up producing ruin. Remember what happens when you fly too high: your wings melt and you plummet to the ground! The situation hinted at by this Ten is many times self-created; this means that if I work on being aware, things will only get better from here.

My 6-digit date number is 5, movement that upsets stability in order to prevent stagnation.

My horoscope: “It can be hard to release old habits and beliefs even as new, better ways of thinking struggle to gain a foothold. It's time for you to do this, Sagittarius. You might find it difficult to confide your feelings to another, but a frank conversation with close friends will do much to ease your mind. There's no question that you're changing. Your friends will show you that this transformation is positive.”

**smile** Yep, I would love to just hide, but that would only prolong this period of upheaval that I am striving to see as transformation. Yes, the full moon is nearly upon us, but I am trying to see the discomforts of the past weeks which seem to be coming to a head as a time of darkness, when the dimmest of stars, otherwise blotted out by the light, can be seen and experienced. I am trying to make my frustration at that darned scale needle which is obstinately staying stationary and not moving downward, and the body aches that have never happened to me before after strenuous or prolonged activity, and the end of my job of the past 13 years, and the pain of dealing with an issue between myself and my husband, all into spiritually connected learning opportunities. None of these events and effects lend themselves to a spiritually aware response. Instead, my first instinct is to want to be crabby and angry, and to impose my own desires on others.

You can never determine if you have courage unless you are put into a situation that makes you afraid. Fear is not an emotion that can be created at will (LOL, unless I go and stand at the edge of the roof of a tall building somewhere), and neither is love. I must have the love challenged in order to truly plumb its depths. I must lose my job in order to find out if I can truly create my own business, no matter how much I say I want to do this. I must change my eating habits and exercise routines over the long term in order to have a lasting effect on my body and its health. So far, there just is no other way to be successful. Part of me wishes that all of these concepts did not need to be tested at the same time, but another part of me is willing to determine just how much I have learned over the past seven years.

I even had my pride in the plans I have put together shaken a bit, by a relative making light of them even though this relative had no idea what the things I am striving toward actually consist of. It is amazing how the slightly derisive laughter of someone can shrink you down, even though in my mind I do know that this relative is made uncomfortable by effects that cannot be directly and easily controlled. This relative’s laughter has caused me to rethink for a moment (a moment only) whether my current goals are worthy. They are worthy; I do know this and in part their worthiness was confirmed by this discomfort caused by the laughter. Perhaps it is time that I receive this kind of test; in the past, everyone has pretty much supported my efforts and the doubts originated within me. Time for them to come from a source that I cannot control, and my only power in this case is to control my response, to choose my response.

Speaking of exercise, I have really been focusing on getting my body back into shape. I am finally experiencing that nice buzz of endorphins that happens when I feel I have a grasp on my body and am making progress toward strength and flexibility. Cernunnos told me this weekend that this is the very feeling He wants me to associate with Him. He wants me to maintain a strong awareness to how my body feels this week, for my dedication to Him is approaching. As is my ritual with Mystery.

Helen has a Yoga class in Cape May and a Yoga class in Philly, and both studios are interested in the other disciplines Sukha has to offer!! I am feeling optimistic, more and more optimistic, but both of us are doing our homework and making preparations. LOL, we don’t just want our heads in the clouds, we also want our feet on the ground. Sounds like today’s cards are validating this notion.

This is going to be quite the Transformative week!!

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The Horned One/Five of Swords. Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes), Capricorn (“I build,” ambition, authority, cunning), and Ayin (eyes, senses), all combine to bring a focus on the physical realms and the experiences of the physical senses today. There may be some difficulty involved regarding the physical realm, that could center around the imposition of logic onto the situation. I need to remember that not all victories are fulfilling, especially if they are achieved through negative focuses.

My Thoth card is the Two of Cups. “The Lord of Love” might be a strange card to appear here, at least on the surface, but actually it is reassuring to me because it is telling me that despite imbalances, love is still a part of the picture.

My Legacy card is The Lovers reversed. Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts), Gemini (“I think,” curiosity, talkative, sociable, balanced) and Zayin (two-sided sword), The Lovers is about personal choices, and about a love that exists through the balance of opposites. Today I was drawn to throw another card, and got the Seven of Cups. This card corresponds to the sephiroth of Netzach (which tells of understanding and inspiration), and it reminds me of both the importance and the dangers of dreams and visualizations.

My horoscope: “It may be hard for you to make a decision today about anything. Things may seem a bit wishy-washy and unclear, but don't worry about it. There is plenty of air to fuel your fire. Be aware that people may be popping up from the past and that unexpected events may be disrupting the flow throughout the day. Well-laid plans are apt to be broken. Don't' sweat it. Just go with it.”

My cards make perfect sense to me today. Every single one of ‘em. ‘Nuff said.

Helen and I got together yesterday and today, furthering our business preparations. We worked through a stretch class that is focused on strength trainers, and we discussed many options and future focuses. This coming weekend, Sean and his friends will be down in Cape May, and Helen and I plan on not only picking his brain, but getting our website up and running. Big first step! Hopefully next weekend I will be posting the URL of Sukha’s website. It is very important that we keep our momentum up, and we are doing our best.

I leave for the Dominican Republic a week from Wednesday. This is going to be a very different trip because it will be just Brian and I. Part of me will miss Sharon and her ability to speak Spanish. But part of me is looking forward to spending some in-depth time with Brian, maybe talking about Tarot, Reiki, Yoga, etc. This will be a great opportunity for me to zero in on what I need to focus upon.

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The Tower/The Universe. Well . . . interesting. We have Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes), Mars (action, spontaneity, drive), and Phe (mouth or speech), and Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes), Saturn (discipline, limitations, order and caution) and Thav (mark or sign). We have breaking apart and putting together. We have endings in both cards, but one ending involves destruction and the other ending involves the completion of integration. What they both have in common are “dry,” which is subject to susceptibility, and “shape,” which is what both of these forces are able to do. Plus, Fire and Earth are the purest of extremes (Fire rises to the top and Earth falls to the bottom).

My Thoth card is the Three of Cups reversed. “Abundance,” and an indication of the possibility of dreams becoming reality. The element of Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts) tends to contract or reach a level and stable place, and the number 3, which is about not only manifesting the suit but creating something new from it. However, the card is reversed, so the events of the day will probably not be encouraging a sense of connection to and support from the “group.”

My Legacy card is the King of Swords. Fire of Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts), and the cusp of Capricorn (“I build, ambitious, competent, authoritative) and Aquarius (“I know,” the group, friendships, progressiveness), and the sephiroth Chokmah, the origin of vital force and polarity. This King is about a committed and consciously chosen intention to increase and support intellectual evolution and increased communication. He is responsible for harnessing and manifesting ideas, creating and activating the intellect into discernable results. Whew! That’s a lot to live up to!!

My horoscope: “This could be a very busy day in your community, Sagittarius. Some kind of rally, protest, or other public gathering might take place. If you attend, you may not hear much because of all the noise, and the event could seem disorganized at best. It could also render traffic impossible! If you can, stay home today. Going out could be more trouble than it's worth. Protest with your vote or your wallet instead.”

My 6-digit date number is 10, which tells of completion or winding up of a cycle in preparation for a new beginning, which reduces to the number 1, the number of possibility and potential.

Busy day indeed!! And nothing seems to be running smoothly. But I am catching myself before I get irritated and I am infusing awareness and spirituality into my day at every opportunity. So far, I have been able to heed the warning of my cards, even thought there have been little snags throughout the day.

I feel my Lady Danu behind me, Her hands on my shoulders, but She is not saying anything to me at all. LOL, I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Is She letting me know that I am doing a good job and need no intervention on Her part, or is She standing behind me, ready to prop me up when I get hit by the psychic two-by-four? The former, I hope. I am trying very hard to do what I am supposed to do.

I finished my next submission to the Sacred Mists Blog, on Trance Dancing. It is the first of a series on altered states, and the more detailed information presented in these essays will readily transfer to my book on Sacred Movement; another thing on my ever-lengthening list of things to do when my job ends. And Lorraine planted another “book seed,” by suggesting that I write an advanced book on spell crafting! I love that idea. Lorraine has taken my Off the Beaten Path workshops on spell crafting and the personal energy field, and she feels that the information I presented would fill a void as there really are no “next level of learning” books out there on the hows and whys of spell crafting.

Hopefully by early next week, I will officially be a Tarot Reader at the Sacred Mists Shoppe. I am really excited about this because I will be reading professionally through Sacred Mists. One thing after another seems to be lining up for me!

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Six of Wands reversed/Judgement. Interesting combination today. The Six of Wands in an upright position tells of the sense of victory that comes with the overcoming of some pretty potent obstacles. The Judgement card, which corresponds with the element of Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes), the planet Pluto (metamorphosis, power, cycles of becoming) and Shin (fang), tells of the arrival of a day of reckoning where I will be given the chance to pay my bills and clean the slate. This clearing of the slate allows a new reconciliation between the conscious mind, the unconscious mind, and the Younger Self.

My Thoth card is the Ace of Wands reversed. Creativity and fast movement that is found within the primordial energy of the Divine as it manifests within matter are what make up the energy of this Ace. It is potential just before that potential is shaped by Will. Since the card is reversed, I may be blocked from these energies, but these two reversed Wands cards might balance the Judgement card (another Fire card) nicely.

My Legacy card is the Ace of Cups. The Holy Grail, and the concept that love is all I need. Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts) and the astrological symbols of Fall, Libra (“We are, partnerships, Balance cooperation), Scorpio (“I desire,” intense, sexual, secretive) and Sagittarius (“I seek,” philosophic, adventurous, blundering), both offer the potential for emotional, subconscious and spiritual renewal. It is up to me to reach out and take the Cup being offered.

My 6-digit date number is 9. Woooho! No wonder I feel so good today. The number 9 is about completeness (as opposed to the completion of the number 10).
Absolutely chaotic, crazy day today. I woke up feeling as if something inside of me, some part of me that keeps me balanced and connected, was unplugged. I guess our ritual last night had more of a physical manifestation than I thought.

I have been expecting to hear from Mystery's Guides and contact finally happened as I walked last night. I looked up and saw the first quarter moon, hiding behind the clouds. Suddenly, I was not walking in Hackensack; instead I was standing at the lip of a gorge at the bottom of which was a stream, and fog. I went down, passing through wisps of fog, and sat by the burbling stream. The air was cold, but crisp and clean, and after a bit the crickets became accustomed to my presence, and continued their songs.

After a bit, they quieted again, and I heard a rustling in the bushes at the other side of the stream. Suddenly, there appeared a man, grey hair and a grey beard, wearing an indigo robe. The robe glistened as he moved; for all I know, he was clothed in shadow. He waked to the water’s edge and sat on a large boulder, his hands upon his knees. I knew him; he was Merlin, great mage and sorcerer. After a moment, he motioned to me, calling me to cross the stream. I walked to the water and tested it with my toe; it was cold, but very shallow.

As I began crossing, suddenly, the softly babbling brook became a raging torrent! I looked up at Merlin, and he nodded, so I continued. The current was strong, and I banged my knee and skinned my elbows as I struggled to keep my feet in the icy water. Just as I was almost to the other side, I suddenly stepped into a hole and was swept downstream.

I surfaced and luckily was able to grab a branch of a tree that had been toppled and lay partially in the water; I strained to hold on as the water washed over my head and up my nose. I pulled myself closer to the shore and finally found footing. I stood, and struggled the rest of the way to the shore and lay on my back, exhausted.

As I lay there, gasping, I heard the roar of the stream fade away. I sat up, and to my amazement, the torrent had disappeared and the stream was once again softly burbling and winding its way through the rocks. I stood and walked back to where Merlin was still sitting. By the time I reached him, my teeth were chattering and I was trembling from the cold.

“Very funny,” I said through chattering teeth. “Actually, it was,” he replied with a smile. I could not help but smile back at him, as I remembered another fall into icy water and a similar response from my son, Brian.

There were places to sit next to Merlin, but I decided that I should show him honor, so I sat on the ground at his feet, shivering. Merlin lifted his wand and (I am certain that he said the same word that Hogwarts students say to make their wands glow!) his wand glowed like a torch and I could see him clearly; he could see me as well, a shivering, wet heap sitting at his feet. After a moment, he leaned forward, and said, “Young lady, you are no sorcerer like My Mystery, but you are a Priestess. Why are you allowing yourself to be uncomfortable? Why are you not warming yourself?”

He was right. We were in the astral realms, and I have the power to fix this! I brought my awareness inward to my solar plexus chakra, and I warmed myself. It took a few moments of focus, but soon enough I was feeling much more comfortable.

“You are very shortly dedicating yourself to a God whose focus is very, very physical. And yet, you are not Balanced. You are not yet connecting all that you have accomplished to your physical world. You know very well how to ask why, and you also know very well how to answer your own question. But you do not ask the question ‘how?’ The pains and aches and illnesses that you have been experiencing are caused by this imbalance. You need to work harder. You need to mix your ‘why?’ question together with a ‘how?’ question. You must broaden your focus.”

Merlin sighed, and then continued. “Both of you are out of sorts today. Are you surprised about this? You have both been told that your workings are powerful, even beyond your expectations. Are you surprised that you are not feeling yourself, that you are feeling as if something is missing, after the working that you and Mystery performed last night? After you both put a part of yourselves ‘Between’ until your dedication ritual?” He waited, and then continued. “Each of you willingly entered into this working, and it was accomplished both through physical actions and energy gathered and charged. Next time, you will learn from this and make certain that you work into your spell a bit more protection; you will learn from this working, and you will not forget your power. But all is not lost; you both can fix things enough to return to Balance, and not betray the working that you have both put into place.”

He stood then, and said: “All will be well.” Then he snapped his finger, and disappeared!

I sat for a while, thinking about what Merlin had said. He was right; I need to connect what I am learning with my life, and I need to connect the spiritual with the physical in a Balanced manner. I smiled as I remembered what Merlin said about the working that Mystery and I did last night. We both felt off balance today, and there is a reason for that. And we both have been told that anything we do together will have power beyond our expectations.

And it looks like Merlin was right; I am feeling much better today. More Balanced and more in control. I am doing every task, using my muscles each time, with awareness. I feel better, grounded yet not shut down, and ready to face the day.

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King of Swords/The Magician reversed. Lots of Air today. The suit of Swords corresponds to Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts), as does The Magician, who is also related to Mercury (reason, intelligence, skill) and Beth (house; builder). LOL, and Mercury happens to be in I am being told by this King to be proactive today because I have the ability to see things in a different light. Impartiality and cold, emotionless judgment are important today. However, I do need to remember that if I want to truly change my environment in order to manifest my desires, if I block out the other elements and only focus on Air and its connection to the intellect, I will be doomed to failure. I cannot achieve balance unless I allow myself to tap into **all** the tools at my command, and I need to remember that my reasons for acting must not only be logical, but ethical and caring as well. Also, Mercury is in retrograde, so that Magician reversed makes even more sense; I am being given an opportunity to see what I missed, LOL, probably in a slightly uncomfortable manner.

My Thoth card is the Four of Swords. “Truce” today, and I think I understand this card’s energies. Crowley sees this card as presenting the concept of “equality of arms deters battle.” I am being told that the preparations have been made; now is the time to rest before the real work begins.

My Legacy card is The World reversed. Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes), Saturn (discipline, resistance, order), and Thav (mark or sign). This is a card of cosmic consciousness and the completion of a cycle; it also reminds me that the cycle is **not** linear, with a distinct beginning and ending point, but rather it is a circle, with its ending morphing seamlessly into a new beginning. Because it is reversed, I am being warned that although the cycle appears to be completed, the transformation is not yet complete. But it’s happening! This card is said to reflect the fertility and abundance of The Empress, the synthesis of Strength, and the transformative power of The Tower, as it transforms from the end of a cycle into The Fool and a brand new beginning.

Because today is the first part of my magickal working with Mystery, I also threw a Pearls of Wisdom card, and got the Seven of Cups. In the Pearls of Wisdom Tarot, besides the traditional indication of many choices, this card reminde me that dreams are fuel to manifest outcome, and I am the creator of my own life.

My 6-digit date number for today is 7; the number 7 tells of the beginning of the degeneration of the balance of the number 6. I think the appropriate lesson to remember today regarding this number is that in order to make the omelet we need to break some eggs, and that will upset the balance. In order to walk forward, we actually need to end the balance that happens when we stand still. Cultivating awareness and choosing with awareness are the keys.

My horoscope: “You have a strong spirit of cooperation today, Sagittarius. It inspires you to pitch in and help others without being asked. Your romantic partner could be surprised to see you show up and help with a chore. Never mind that you don't know what you're doing - you'll figure it out. Others will be impressed to see you going above and beyond what you've been asked to do. Your efforts on all fronts won't go unnoticed.”

Awesome stuff is happening today!!

The new, formalized (and truly wonderful) Sacred Mists Third Degree Training Lessons were unveiled last night after our Student Council Meeting. I am absolutely thrilled at what Lady Raven and Lilyth have created. These lessons will have a two-fold effect on me: first, they will push me to increase my skills, knowledge and abilities, and second, they will push me to crystallize and document in detail (through homework assignments) both what I already know and am able to accomplish as well as the new information and abilities that I will gain through completing the assignments for each lesson.

While all of these lessons have been in place already, they were not formalized. Because up until now the Third Degree had few members, Lady Raven was able to work on a one-on-one basis with each Third Degree Dedicant; however that has become difficult for her. And so, our new Third Degree Training Program has arrived! That one-on-one contact is still available (as it is for every student of every Degree), and in fact the formalization of the Third Degree Training should make a bit more time available.

Congratulations, Lady Raven and Lilyth! Your hours and hours of hard work have paid off, in my opinion, and you are creating a wonderfully strong Degree Training Program for all Sacred Mists students. I am very proud to be associated with Sacred Mists.

Tonight is the first part of the ritual and magickal working that Mystery and I have been creating. I am very, very pleased with what we have made together; I think we are well matched as magickal partners, and I look forward to experience tonight’s working. The energies of Lumina Mystica are manifesting!

The last week or so has been incredibly busy for me. I have been working plenty of overtime, and the extra money will come in handy. I made my reservations for my Dominican Republic trip last night. I will be going by myself this time, because Sharon can’t make it this year. Brian is redecorating, and I look forward to helping him. Plus we will go shopping for larimar and amber, and we will go to the river and the beach. I will get to have my “chivo” fix, LOL, and do some dancing.

Plus, the Pagan Brain Trust has been making some awesome plans. We are going to have a Reiki attunement extravaganza, and we are creating a permanent working together. This magickal family is evolving so much!

The “Shift” is coming; I can feel it, stronger and stronger each day!

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Seven of Cups/Queen of Swords reversed. The Seven of Cups card corresponds to the sephiroth Netzach (the stimulating factors of emotion and inspiration) by offering choices, choices that can only be effectively made if we stop and carefully assess each choice. The Queens all correspond to the sephiroth Binah, which is the origin of all structure and form; she **is** her suit rather than **does** her suit. She is Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts) of Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts), and the Cups card is also related to Water. In an upright position, this Queen would have the ability to make the choices presented in the Seven of Cups. Since she is reversed, I am being told that while many choices may appear to me, today is not a day to make final decisions. Research each choice for sure; after all, even though I am not connecting with her energies, that Queen is in my card throw for the day, but no final choices today.

My Thoth card is the Nine of Disks reversed. Hmmmm . . . the “Gain” card reversed. In an upright position, this card corresponds with Venus (beauty, pleasure, allure) in Virgo (“I serve,” practical, service oriented, critical), and the sephiroth Yesod (the Treasure House of Images, patterns that should lead to a final manifestation). It is about feeling satisfaction for a job well done, but because it is reversed, I am being told that it is not yet time to rest on my laurels.

My Legacy card is the Five of Coins. I had this card on Thursday; it tells me that I may be worrying about what appears to be a time with limited physical resources. However, I am reminded that I do not need to feel that the effects of this card are out of my control. I can prepare for this and lessen the effects of material neediness by tightening my belt and simplifying my life. There is a light shining, I just need to turn around and look in an unexpected place, and I will find it.

My 6-digit date number is 5, the number of movement that upsets stability in order to prevent stagnation.

When I first began living as a Wiccan, my focus was probably 90% on my physical experiences and 10% on my astral or spiritual experiences. Now, things have gone almost to the opposite. My days are pretty much 75% focused on my astral or spiritual effects and my personal energy field, and maybe 25% on the operation of my physical body and the interactions of the physical world. Perhaps all of the illnesses and aches and pains I have been experiencing in my physical body these past months are due to this imbalance. Perhaps I need to focus on bringing a connection or bridge from the astral and spiritual focuses into the physical so that there are two-way interactions.

Wait . . . this sounds familiar. There is a term within the Phases of psychological alchemy, that means “spiritualization.” Citrinitas [or citrinatis], sometimes referred to as xanthosis, is a term given by 15th- and 16th-century alchemists to “yellowness.” It was one of the four major stages of the alchemical opus, and literally referred to “transmutation of silver into gold” or “yellowing of the lunar consciousness.” In alchemical philosophy, citrinitas stood for the dawning of the “solar light” inherent in one's being, and that the reflective “lunar or soul light” was no longer necessary. The other three alchemical stages were nigredo (blackness), albedo (whiteness), and rubedo (redness). [my emphasis added]

Wow. Once again, I have read these words and logically understood what was being describe, but now, now I have personally experienced this process, or at least I am beginning to understand it. Aha! This is what I have been feeling, that sense that soooooooo much of who I am is completely experiential and really not easily described to others. **smile** I guess I will have something to think about today.

We had a Sacred Mists Reiki Share this morning, with our Earth as a recipient in honor of Earth Day. I really love Reiki Shares! This time, for the initial part of the Share I opened myself to the flow of Reiki and then opened my chakras. To my surprise, my Elemental Guides appeared. My Earth Guide reminded me that the energy of Earth is our tether that anchors our life force to our physical bodies. My Water Guide reminded me that I am who I am because of those incarnations who came before this one (each of whom loved and cried and lived, creating a foundation for this life), and I should love myself because I am a unique physical vehicle ~and~ a deep and wonderfully textured life force. My Fire Guide reminded me that my life does not ever stand still, and I am always “becoming” and evolving and transforming, whether I realize it (and thus to some extent control the processes) or not. My Air Guide reminded me that I have the choice to be Aware, and thus to encourage and to some extent direct my growth and evolution, and thus benefit from every single experience within this lifetime.

As the time came to shift the flow of Reiki from the Share to the Earth, I saw our world from outer space: a heartbreakingly beautiful blue and green and brown and white orb. I gently cupped my hands around the Earth and allowed the Reiki to flow. How sad it is that if I were to bring my awareness closer to this lovely world, I would find in-fighting and back-stabbing; humanity as a whole does not appreciate the incredible gift that our Earth is. For a short time I wondered if our small effort would make a difference at all. But then I heard a soft voice telling me: “Yes, your effort makes a difference. The difference is not so much manifested onto and into that lovely sphere cradled in your hands; the difference is in **you** and the depth of **your** connection to that world. For your reverence and your awe will spread, little by little. Remember, even the hugest of avalanches, completely changing everything in its path, is made of tiny snowflakes connected together. Who would ever think that a tiny, fragile flake of frozen water crystals could have that kind of power?”

As I separated myself from the Share, I was filled with that now-expected sense of well-being, of being alive. The sun is shining, and the sky is blue, and I am going for a walk before heading off to work.

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