The Universe/The Magician reversed. The “final gateway is here”! It is time for me to pull back from my belief that I have mastered everything, because while I may have mastered the skills necessary to get this far, the time is coming to prepare to become a novice once again. It is okay to rest for a bit and enjoy the deeper connection to the universe that I have attained, but I need to keep in mind that every ending heralds a new beginning. Soon enough the next “first step” will be upon me and I will need to shift my focus inward in order to find the first new tendrils of that next step.

My Thoth card is the Nine of Discs reversed. “Gain” in an upright position tells of a moment of intense enjoyment from viewing hard-won accomplishments, but this enjoyment has the potential of becoming so heavy with its own weight that it morphs into stagnation. Because the card is reversed, I am being told to be careful that I don’t pause today at the wrong time, if at all.

My Legacy card is the Five of Swords. This card is warning that things are not what they seem. We may believe that we have won a victory, but if that victory was attained by ill means, it is not really a victory at all. We may feel that we have been bested, but the worse case scenario is that we lost and it’s over. Now comes acceptance of defeat, and then rebuilding, better than before.

Some interesting endings and transitions presented in my cards today. This morning, while doing my usual morning meditation, Danu came to me. I could tell that She was not just there to give me a hug, and so I asked her what She needed to tell me. She said, “It is time to take the next step.” I told Danu that I was ready for that next step, whatever it was. She proceeded to challenge me!

Danu explained that I had gotten better at stopping my judgment of others, and I had gotten real good at preventing a focus on negative things and on cleaning the aftereffects of those negative focuses out of my aura when one snuck in under my defenses. She praised me for one part of the process that I had recently initiated: when someone cuts me off or acts with rudeness, instead of getting angry, I visualize a perfect rose, cut from a rose bush, with a few healthy leaves but all thorns cut from the stem, and I send the visualization of this rose to the rude person with the intent that whatever is initiating the distraction or rudeness is eased so that this person is happier. Danu explained to me that while these skills are useful and necessary, they are defensive in nature. They are a reaction to the actions of others.

Now, She explained, the time has come for me to choose to act, not to react. I need to send serenity and balance and peace into my aura so that I leave a residue of these emotions behind, wherever I go. There is a benefit to this because in doing so, I will be changing my personal environment to be more serene, more balanced and more peaceful. I need to actively open myself to the messages and symbolism of such things as the Tarot. I need to not only accept the messages, but I need to share them with those who need to know them.

I must act, and I must act with confidence. Not as an authoritarian ruler whose commands must be obeyed, but rather to offer positive effects to others so that if they choose to, they may absorb them. I must also take actions with confidence because these actions are like seeds being sprinkled onto the soil under the leaves of orange and yellow and red and brown. Those seeds will rest quietly, protected, through the quiet of the cold and dark, and when the time is right, they will burst forth with life; I have only to believe and to act with quiet authority.

Take the next step. Act. Believe.

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Page of Wands/Five of Swords reversed. Today I may be tempted to allow my Younger Self to rule the day. And that Five of Swords may be reversed today, but it is still there; this means that my Younger Self can go out to play, but I need to keep an eye on her so that her enthusiasm doesn’t get her hurt.

My Thoth card is the Queen of Swords. Back to the Court Cards again. This Queen is a keen observer, a subtle interpreter and an intense individualist who is confident in her ability to effectively balance the challenges of the day. This card is a nice balance to the enthusiasm of the Page of Wands.

My Legacy card is the Six of Swords reversed. This card is about moving to a better place, but because it is reversed, I am being told that while a move might be a good thing to contemplate, the way is not yet clear before me and the dangers outweigh the benefits of moving forward blindly right now. I need to look before I leap and I need to be optimistic because the potential for moving forward is there, but it has not yet ripened.

My horoscope: “Spirit and soul may seem out of balance today. A part of you may be longing to break from society and live a more spiritual life, but worldly responsibilities and attachment to your current lifestyle might get in your way. These things don't happen overnight, dear Sagittarius. You have to let them develop in their own way, in their own time. Right now, the key is finding balance between the spiritual and the material.”

Simplifying matters:

I like working on my own and having control of what I put out.
I like working close to home.
I like being able to connect with Nature at will, even if this only happens through a window.
I like being able to go out and get a fresh salad for lunch.
I like to write, draw, make jewelry, or anything else that involves creativity.
I like to work with and learn about the human energy field and the operations of the physical body.
I like learning about the human psyche and expressing that knowledge through the Tarot.

I don’t like having to get up early when I want to sleep in a little more (to make it simple, I am not an early morning person).
I don’t like having to be working for a specific block of time that is exactly the same every day, whether there is work to be done or not.
I don’t like not being able to adjust or split up or shift that time in order to enable me to do other things.
I don’t mind doing clerical work but I don’t like the way it shuts my brain down.

I need to be able to find a way to incorporate the things I like into my career. I don’t mind working hard for long hours when those hours are invested in work about which I am enthusiastic.

I need to be able to incorporate these things without having to go to school in order to do this. For instance, I would love to become a certified massage therapist, but I would have to take a block of time out from my day job (months) in order to do this, and I can’t afford to spend money on tuition and not get paid a regular salary.

I need to find the right audience for my skills.

Okay, that doesn’t simplify matters that much, it just makes it easier to see what I like, don’t like and need. There just has to be a career for me out there that brings in enough money to live on and feeds my soul at the same time! I am determined to discover it. *bangs fist on desk*

Both my cards and my horoscope today are telling me that I can’t give up; even if it seems that I am not making progress, I am.

One thing I am certain of: the internet will have some answer or tool or support for me. The internet will be a part of whatever it is that I am meant to do, and it very well may be a part in my discovering exactly what it is that I am meant to do.

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The Lovers/Five of Swords. Today I must be very aware of my choices, for the energies of the day will have a dual nature to them, presenting choice after choice. I need to remember that even the smallest moment of neglect can end up having huge ramifications. I also need to remember that I have help; one definition of “duality” is the relationship between me and my gods. And most important of all, I need to remember that a victory attained by unethical means is not a victory at all.

My Thoth card is the Ten of Disks reversed. The “Wealth” card, referring to all kinds of wealth in the physical realms, is considered the Minor Arcana equivalent of The World. It tells us that once we have manifested the correspondence of the suit of Disks, we reach a point where this wealth will either become completely inert under its own weight (and then cease to be wealth and instead will become an anchor, which can be good or bad), or the wealth will transform itself into some higher concept through the infusion of the intellect (and this is accomplished mainly through altruistic means). The card is reversed, so I need to remember that while these potentials are present, I am probably not seeing them, and this could be directly connected to The Lovers and the Five of Swords.

My Legacy card is the Four of Wands reversed. In an upright position, this card tells of the laying of an exciting foundation that offers much potential for enthusiasm and passion through the use of creativity. Because it is reversed, I need to be cautious because I may be acting too quickly, or I may be allowing other more dark influences to tarnish that foundation.

My mostly exclusive focus on the physical realms is finally fading a bit, but before a balance between physical and astral returns, I want to lay the groundwork for a real effort to figure out how I can create a career out of all the knowledge I have collected and skills I have honed over the past nearly seven years that I have been walking on the Path of Wicca. This has been my year of changing focus in many ways, and this is just one of them. I have taken many steps in order to lay a potential foundation that is built from several types of “blocks.” My hope and goal is that a combination of several smaller careers could provide enough funds to allow me to leave my day job.

But, details are important in any magickal working, and so I am creating some lists this week in order to close in on exactly what combination will work for me. Today I will be looking at my current job and deciding which facets are valuable to me personally, and which facets I would rather not have in a permanent career situation.

In an effort to be optimistic, I will first talk about the things I like about my job. The office is close to my house; my commute is exactly 2.1 miles, and if I had to, I could walk to work; I have a reserved parking space. I am also very close to a supermarket, and I am able to go out and get a salad at lunchtime. The building itself is a low rise, and I work on the fifth floor; I have worked in high rise buildings, and I do not like it. The windows in the office face East, which means that in the late Fall, Winter and early Spring, I can watch the full moon rise over the New York Skyline. I can also see down into a small triangle of land that has been left wild because a seasonal stream runs along one side of the triangle.

I work for a small law firm; I was nervous about this when I first started working here because I always worked in offices with more than one assistant. But I have found that I like being on my own most of the time. When things get real busy I miss having someone to help me, but actually that helper ends up answering the phones and working on all the other things that would have to sit idle while I was working on a big project, if that other person was not there. Because I am a perfectionist, I like to have control over any large documents or projects. I used to be a typesetter, so I am anal about formatting, and I am known as a grammar and punctuation nazi as well. I receive fulfillment from knowing that I have done the best I can do to be certain that any project is well taken care of.

What I don’t like about my job is that it takes place in a 9 to 5 environment, which is necessary as the entities with which we interact are all 9 to 5. This means that I must arrive at work at a certain time every day (and of course, that time is too early for my body clock), I must take my lunch at a certain time every day, and whether I have completed my responsibilities or not, I must stay until a certain time every day. There is no way for me to shift the work load and work extra hours for a few days in order to clear a block of time for personal use, there is no way for me to shift or split up the daily block of time that I am working in order to mesh with personal needs.

I can deal with the boredom of administrative assistant/secretarial work, but I don’t like the way it seems to put my brain to sleep. I start out each work week feeling as if my brain is alive and lit up with electrical current; I have a connection to the physical word and I have a connection to the vast universes within me. But as each week day goes by and I sit at my desk for that huge block of time, I need to struggle more and more to wake up my brain. There are not too many ways to make clerical work stimulating to the brain, at least for me, and while I am not afraid to work hard, I would rather be focusing on some form of employment that causes the awake parts of my brain to expand rather than contract.

I like to write, but I want to write about what interests me, rather than working on legal contracts and agreements. I like to create. I like to draw, to create hand made animations the old fashioned way, to dance, and to study occult and metaphysical subjects. I like to learn about the physiology and energy fields of the human body, and the human psyche, and I like to guide and counsel and mentor others who enjoy all of those subjects. I love the Tarot. I am a Reiki Master, and enjoy giving treatments. I enjoy working with rocks and crystals, and I enjoy wire wrapping in order to make jewelry.

Whatever I decide to focus on, I need to be able to maintain this job and gradually segue these other careers into being. I cannot afford to quit my day job, and I cannot afford to go to school.

I am going to print this out, and I am going to read through it every day this week. I am hoping that if I keep shifting the puzzle pieces around, I will finally be able to complete the puzzle and see the image. No, I am not hoping, I am firmly believing that I will do this.

Are there any niches out there that can be filled by a Tarot reader/Reiki practitioner/jewelry maker/energy worker/novelist/artist?

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Seven of Pentacles reversed/The Hermit reversed. Things are a-movin’ and a-shakin’ in my physical world today. I am being told that today is not a day to stop and assess my progress so far, but rather today is a day to move forward. The answers to the questions are in my physical world, and the questions that involve anything else should be put aside until a more auspicious day for inner focuses. Today I need to accomplish things elsewhere.

My Thoth card is the Six of Pentacles. “Success”! Today will be a balance of solar and lunar energies; the balance won’t last long for the earthy energies will either stagnate under their own weight or release the grounding tether and float away. But until then, today is a day to take advantage of that balance.

My Legacy card is Temperance. The energies of this card are static because they are balanced, and equilibrium is maintained because of the equal and opposing forces being held steady by moderation. I can maintain this balance at least for today, and I can also make use of it. I also need to remember that “tempering” is an alchemic effect, and that I become stronger and more refined through dealing with extremes and finding a balanced application of those extremes.

My horoscope: “A group with which you are associated could bring information to your attention that puts you in a very positive frame of mind and almost has you skipping all the way home. You should enjoy socializing today, dear Sagittarius, as you are even more gregarious than usual and both old and new friends could seek out your company. A victory of some kind has come your way, which contributes to your great mood. Enjoy your day.”

Another day focusing on the physical realms yesterday. Bob went to his brother’s house to watch the Giants game yesterday; I went to a baby shower in the afternoon, and then came home and spent about four hours on the computer, checking First Degree homeworks and otherwise cleaning up my unanswered emails. Progress was made, and that is a good thing. Then later in the evening, hubby and I watched a movie (while I did laundry) and we went to sleep relatively early.

Again today my focus is on getting things finished in my physical world so that I can cross them off my list. And I am filled with energy, which is very unusual for me on a Monday morning; this could be in part because I got so much done over the weekend.

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Queen of Pentacles/The World. Aaahhhh, another day of serenity. I will not feel the need to create today, but I will connect in a very nice way with the physical world using all of my senses. Simple and good.

My Thoth card is The Magus reversed. Well, I may not be using my Will today, or I may have trouble connecting with it effectively, as this is Crowley’s “Will” card and it is reversed.

My Legacy card is the Nine of Wands reversed. I love the image to this card; it really brings to mind the sense of being done in and operating by Will alone. Another card talking about Will that is reversed. I hope these reversals support those first two cards and are telling me that I won’t need to make use of my Will because the day will go well. **crosses fingers**

I spent this cloudy and rainy yet warm day doing some heavy Fall cleaning in our Hackensack house. I do my best cleaning first thing in the morning, and it has been a long time since I was in Hackensack for the weekend, so I took advantage. LOL, I think I cleaned out my vacuum dust receptacle four times, and I even had to clean the filters. But the house is clean, and now the next time I have spare time, I can work on updating my BOS.

The coolest thing happened late in the afternoon. As I finished each room, I lit a sunflower scented tealight and placed it in the room. As I finished up the last room and lit the tealight, my entire house smelled like sunflowers. I made myself a cocktail and sat down to rest my weary feet, and suddenly the late afternoon sun broke through the clouds, and golden rays shot into all the back windows, which face to the west, and lit my clean house with sun.

All the efforts of the entire day are worth that moment.

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Five of Wands/King of Cups. I may experience “turns ta” today (everything I touch turns ta dog poop), and maybe even some challenging ethical choices, possibly involving skeptics, but as long as I don’t adopt an “every man for himself” attitude and instead, choose to allow my own experiences to build emotional and spiritual bridges that connect me to both my protractors and detractors, all will end well. No judging allowed, and the tools I should access are peace, harmony and diplomacy.

My Thoth card is the Princess of Swords. Back to the Court Cards. Today I will find that I am very good at settling differences and calming upheavals, and recording new ideas. My powers of perception will be at their peak, and my interpretations will be just and ethical.

My Legacy card is Faith. Today I am being told to notice that it is the shining light of faith that unites us all, and although traditions and spiritual paths may be different, we are joined with the universe because we are all spiritual entities that are housed in physical bodies. I should think about the traditions of my faith today, I should offer a devotion to my own Deities, and I should put what I believe into practice.

My horoscope: “A large assembly of forces is gathering at this time to make a bold statement and an important pledge, dear Sagittarius. This is the kind of movement that brings together entire generations and unites people to form a revolution of some sort. Put away the petty issues, and think on a global scale. Educate yourself about what is going on in the world, and take a more aggressive stand in fighting for what you believe. A small group of intelligent individuals can make a tremendous impact.”

All of my interactions on the internet have become filled with an extra flavor of meaning. So much of my focus has moved inward already, even though the waning year is only middle aged, and the fountain of energy that Uriel opened within me months ago is emitting more warmth and pressure than ever. This is certainly going to be an interesting Winter season!

I am reading an interesting book called “Your Aura & Your Chakras: The Owner’s Manual” by Karla McLaren that has offered some interesting concepts that relate to my explorations of the “energy self” and the “online self.” I am just beginning the chapters that describe the workings of the aura, and early on the author begins to discuss the concept of boundaries. She explains how people who do not have boundaries end up running amok, mainly because they allow all of themselves to focus outward to the point that their entire “self” is outer, and their inner self does not exist at all. This effect can be seen in people who live their lives on automatic pilot, totally connected to their physical selves and the effects of their senses to the point that their inner self has atrophied. This effect can be seen in people who are so concerned with their “cause” that they allow that cause to become their entire reason for existence, to the point that if the cause disappears, they are lost and cut adrift because their inner selves are empty of everything but their cause.

The author also explains the two kinds of energy that are within each personal energy field. The energy that is stored within the body has to do with the inner self, with the physical workings of the body and with personal feelings and ideas about the self. The energy that is stored within the aura, which is outside the physical body, has to do with the feelings about the person’s place in the world, the person’s feelings about the world, and about how others see the person. To me, the person’s feelings about himself or herself are also stored in the aura. All of the energies that are stored in the aura can affect the person (because the energy body and the physical body interact), and they can affect the other people that the person comes into contact with or even passes close to.

The lesson here is that not only do our emotions and beliefs affect our entire self (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual), but the emotions and beliefs of others can affect us as well. There are two sides to this coin: one is that we need to ground and cleanse our energy self often, and the second is that we have a responsibility to actively choose our emotions and beliefs, because they can and will affect others.

LOL, and I am not even 50 pages into the book.

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Death/Knight of Wands. Today is the big powerful finale that segues into the exciting creation of enthusiasm. Oy. Fasten your seatbelts folks, because we are taking off! The most encouraging thing about endings is that if we embrace the ending and we don’t fight it, we set the stage for a smooth rebirth. And this Knight is the perfect person to initiate the rebirth because he is filled with enthusiasm, without the need for gain or personal glory.

My Thoth card is The Emperor. A Major Arcana card!! Wow, this does not happen often with this deck; the last time I threw a Major with my Thoth was September 1. The Emperor is seen as the power of the world, clothed with the highest and most ethical of his natural attributes. He is a combination of energy in its most material form with the idea of authority, and he is at the peak of his very considerable abilities. His task is to protect and care for all, and his actions, whether gentle or harsh, are fueled by unspoken love.

My Legacy card is the Seven of Coins. Marchetti sees this card in an interesting way. He explains that we have had some influence on the events of our lives thus far, the same way that a farmer has some influence on his crops: he plants the seeds in soil that he has prepared with care, and he pulls the weeds that might siphon off energy, fertilizes to feed his plants, and prunes and waters as necessary. But sooner or later we need to step back and know that we have done all we can to affect the outcome of a situation; at that point we can only stand and watch. Yes, we can assess what we have done thus far and compare it with what the outcome appears to be from this vantage point, but in some ways we then release the project to finish its manifestation on its own. We have done all we can, and the only thing left to do is to visualize the harvest and hope that we have done what is necessary to manifest our goals.

My horoscopes: “‘Action’ is the keyword of the day for you, dear Sagittarius, so put on some comfortable shoes this morning, and have a good time. Infuse a bit of non-sequitur playfulness in your dealings with others, and find ways you can escape reality for a little while. Take the original scenario, and add a twist of the bizarre. Opinions will be especially strong today, and conflict may arise, but realize that a breath of playfulness and lightheartedness will remedy any situation.”

And: “Restrictive forces may come into conflict with you today. The good news is that you should be able to find a space of peace within your emotions. Seek out a mediator who can help you sort out stalemates that may exist between you and others. Opportunities for freedom and autonomy are out there waiting for you to grab them. Seek out the bizarre and unconventional ways of doing things.”

I woke up this morning filled with the most incredible sense of serenity and balance. It was as if I had at some point during the night surrendered my need to control and judge those things that I cannot affect no matter how hard I tried, and instead shifted my focus to my response to those things. I cannot believe how empowering this shift feels to me, mainly because I am no longer wasting my Will on issues that are going to pretty much happen anyway. This leaves lots and lots of focus and energy and Will that can now be used to support the choices that **can** have an effect.

Despite the serenity I feel, my horoscopes tell of volatile energies swirling around me, my dear friend Mystery would revel in these active energies; one horoscope sees these energies as bringing positive potential and one sees them as offering restrictions. Interestingly enough, it is the horoscope that offers the restrictive view of the energies that also foretells a “space of peace within [my] emotions.” Both horoscopes hint that the best way to deal with these energies is to greet them with joy and allow them to take their own paths, even if those paths seem bizarre. In fact, that word “bizarre” is in both horoscopes.

Interestingly enough, I read an article posted on the Sacred Mists Forums called From Indigo to Crystal – The Signs and Symptoms Of An Evolving Adult, by Susanna Kompogiorgas. Okay, I admit it, I find the whole Indigo/Crystal thing . . . well . . . the word “bizarre” comes readily to mind. But a large part of this article seems to be written for me. Am I an Indigo and I don’t know it?

From the article (with relevant parts italicized):

The time has come for many indigo adults to move on to crystal. The transition from indigo to crystal is an evolutionary process that happens automatically - and it has many distinguishing characteristics. First of all, the newly emerging crystal adults develop a difficulty in dealing with “toxic” environments such as big city streets, crowded shopping malls, and any very “grounded,” “material” overloaded places with polluted (physically and spiritually) energy.

They also develop the increased sensitivity to the plight of fellow man and animal that is suffering from injustice.

This sensitivity normally existed before, but as the indigo adult emerges to crystal, the awareness of the plight of mankind becomes heightened - as well as their awareness of the state of Gaia - and how the respiration of our planet is being constantly compromised. Newly emerging crystal adults also have increased revelation of fifth and sixth dimension reality as well increased psychic experiences, visions, and akashic glimpses. As they become more immersed in their crystal state, these adults also experience a greater understanding of oneness and cosmic unity - being able to perceive their connection to the Creator and to all creation.

Another characteristic of indigo adults going into crystal reality is the problem of being overweight. Usually indigo adults absorb a lot of negative energy from others and they also internalize their emotional sensitivity. This happens concurrently with blocked chakras and a weighed down auric field. As the indigo adult evolves to crystal, their ability to metabolize - both physically and emotionally improves because they detoxify as well as work on a higher vibrational level - although a lot of protection is needed during the transition. The one most important characteristic/symptom affecting all indigo adults evolving to crystal is the incredible detoxification process they are experiencing.

The bodies of indigo adults are trying to expel the chemicals, pollutants, toxins, bad energy and other negative elements that were weighing down and polluting their physical and energy bodies. These elements were disturbing their energy fields, resulting in blocked chakras. Most times it has resulted in what conventionally is known as disease.

The process of detoxification happens when the indigo adult consciously turns to a diet of wholesome natural foods - avoiding all toxins, hormones, chemicals and dangerous fats. When the bodies of the indigos detox, they experience a myriad of symptoms including joint and muscle pains, rashes, headaches, fatigue, weakness, brain fog, intestinal disturbances, bloating, bronchial congestion, among others. These symptoms are indications of the physical body ridding itself of the poisons before it emerges into crystal reality. At this point, conscious chakra cleansing, meditation and communication with nature is necessary to help the process and transform to crystal reality.

This actually explains a lot of what has been happening, and this could very well be the big thing that I felt was coming for me. Not that I plan on embracing the bizarre completely as I move away from any thing that is “sane” and “normal” (however those terms are defined). I feel the same way I felt after reading The Celestine Prophecies, a sort of “Yes!! I was right; something **is** happening inside of me!” Each time that I receive some kind of physical validation for what I think is happening, whether it is the writings of another or an explanation for a change in the physical operation of my body, or in special circumstances both, I feel as if I am taking another step up the ladder of existence.

Is this why my Patroness has been hovering protectively? Is Danu afraid that I will disregard this information as way too bizarre for me to embrace? My dearest Lady Danu, I thank you for the convergence of many instances of synchronicity into a message that I can understand, I trust you enough to go with this, and I willingly accept and embrace this evidence of my evolution.

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