Four of Wands reversed/Queen of Cups. The Four of Wands (Venus, beauty, allure, relationships, in Aries, “I want,” action oriented, assertive, enthusiastic) is about building enough to become established.  My card is reversed, and the meaning seems obvious to me: I’ve not yet established the beachhead.  I need to be careful here, because my other card is the Queen of Cups (cusp of Gemini, “I think,” curious, sociable, dual, and Cancer, “I feel,” sensitive, tenacious, nurturing, moody), the energies of The High Priestess manifested into the Minor Arcana.  This card is telling me that I will really be connected to my emotions and my feelings and my dreams today, and I need to be very careful that I don’t focus on what I have **not** achieved yet.  Sure, my Four of Wands is reversed, which means I have not reached that first exciting level, but the card is there.  This means that the potential for achieving that level is there, too; I just haven’t broken through to it yet.  I must use these potent visualizations given to me by my Queen of Cups to create on the astral realms a clear picture of what I want to achieve.  The first steps of creativity and manifestation happen within the worlds of Fire and Water, but if there is not a balance of the two, I will get burned, or the creative energies will be extinguished.

My Thoth card is The Tower.  **heavy sigh**  Aren’t I done with this yet?  The Tower (Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes, and spontaneous, impulsive, energetic change), Mars (action, spontaneity, aggression, drive), Phe (mouth or speech), and the Path between Hod (which provides analysis and communication) and Netzach (which offers the stimulating factors of emotion and inspiration)) tells of a violent or explosive correction in the way things are going. The Thoth Tower is really a scary card to look at, all oranges and yellows and blacks, and points and teeth and sharp edges and force.  We tend to anticipate that the effects of the upheaval predicted by The Tower will be personal, or at least I do.  What I need to keep in mind is that the sudden change that is coming is absolutely necessary, and it will clear the way for new birth.

My Legacy card is the Seven of Coins reversed, flavored by the Ace of Coins. The Seven of Coins (Saturn, discipline, responsibility, law and order, in Taurus, “I have,” sensual, cautious, stubborn) in an upright position tells of pauses and choices and assessments.  Because it is a number 7 card, and because it is of the suit of Coins (which corresponds with the element of Earth), it is a bit of a heavy card.  Just look at the astrological association to this card: Saturn in Taurus!  Since the card is reversed, my Seven of Coins is telling me that now is not the time to pause and consider.  And this is validated by the card flavoring my reversed Seven of Coins, the Ace of Coins! True, the Aces present potential only, unmanifested, and the Ace of Coins (Aries, “I want,” action oriented, assertive, competitive, Taurus, “I have,” sensual, cautious, stubborn, and Gemini, “I think,” curious, talkative, dual, social) tells of the presence of potential that is connected in some way to the physical world of Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes; stable, material and practical energy that is slow to change) represents the potential to experience prosperity, security, stability, trust and a connection to Nature.  Not the actual manifestation of those things.  However, the reversed Seven of Coins could very well give a nudge to the energy of the Ace of Coins and its practical and stable energy that is usually slow to initiate.

My 6-digit date number is 5, the number of motion that might bring discomfort but that also dispels stagnation. 

My horoscopes: “A number of visitors might come to your house today, Sagittarius, perhaps to discuss matters of interest to all of you. Some intense disagreements could arise, but you'll be able to keep it all together. An intellect enhanced by intuition enables you to understand and explain complex ideas, and you'll also be able to derail misunderstandings before they even happen. Providing tasty treats could also help smooth ruffled feathers.”

And: “An intense and emotional dream could move you so powerfully that you awaken with the odd sense that the dream was real. Write it down. Maybe it is! Efforts to overcome career obstacles could be finally paying off, and you might be walking around in a daze asking yourself if it's really happened. It has! Make the most of it! And don't be afraid to reveal your feelings to others.”

My Shadowscapes Insight is regarding the Eight of Wands.  Action!  And new beginnings!  The image on this Shadowscapes Eight of Wands shows a woman gesturing towards what looks like dandelion seeds floating away after a strong puff of air dislodged them from the flower.  What an appropriate image to this card, and on this day!  The Shadowscapes Eight of Wands tells of an ending, the ending of the flower, and a sudden ending, too, similar to The Tower of my Tarot draw today.  However, this ending is actually a new beginning, for while the flower is destroyed, the seeds of the next cycle have been released.  The Eight of Wands tells of that sudden puff of air that gets things going.

Jung calls the Nigredo Phase the time of maximum despair.  Okay, I haven’t quite reached the maximum amount of despair I believe I can deal with and still function, but perhaps the time has come to move my focus a bit away from direct contact with Calcination.  The trials and tribulations of my life these past few weeks has certainly served a useful purpose: they have made me think about what is important to me or what is worth fighting to keep or maintain, and what is in the end “fluff” or no longer necessary to maintain my own health and well-being and thus, not worth expending effort to carry along.  The interesting thing about this process of designating certain things as fluff is that the releasing is actually freeing up a bit of focus or Will that has been otherwise engaged until now.

In an effort to empower the changes that have been happening for me, I am thinking about the next stage in the Great Work, the Albedo Phase.  Following the “blackening” of the Nigredo Phase comes the “whiteness” or purification.  This next process, Dissolution, is accomplished through the addition of water to the remains of the fiery transformation of Calcination. 

The element of Water is usually associated with feelings and illusions and visualizations and emotions, and while it might seem that the addition of emotions might be simple, this part of the whole process can be as difficult as the Dark Night of the Nigredo Phase.  **gulp**

I am beginning to work with Dissolution in a literal sense, by doing a water cleanse.  I will be sipping water all day, and LOL, running to the bathroom often, but I am hoping to flush the toxins from my body and my mind.  I will be including the metabolic discipline of the Nigredo Phase, and going for multiple walks today and tomorrow, so that I hopefully increase the fuel for this whole process.  My first walk this morning was beneath the sun, on the beach as the tide was moving towards its high time.  I will walk later this afternoon as the sun moves lower in the Western sky, and then again after dark.  Hopefully, I will be able to do the same tomorrow. 

In between my walks, I will be wrapping some beach glass, working on my manuscript (soon to be submitted to Llewellyn **crosses fingers**), and beginning the process of writing my “proving essay” regarding the next step in my Third Degree Training.

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