Ten of Cups reversed/The Hanging Man reversed. The Ten of Cups (Mars, action, spontaneity, aggression, drive, in Pisces, “I believe,” feeling, duality, spirituality, suffering and growth) in an upright position offers an unexpected lesson: achieving happiness takes work, which is to be expected, but maintaining that happiness also takes work, hard work. The cool thing about the happiness that is associated with this card is that it is completely emotional in nature; no physical possessions are necessary in order to create this kind of happiness, and actually, they can actually be a distraction from it. Because my Ten of Cups is reversed today, I need to be aware that these distractions might present themselves. But if I remember my blessings, the non-physical world blessings that can’t be bought or sold for any coin, I should be okay. The Hanging Man is a peculiar and powerful card, whether upright or reversed. It corresponds with Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts; emotional and imaginative energy which attempts to prevent changes), Neptune (inspiration, spirituality, magick, altered states), Mem (water, stability and balance, the reflective quality of thought), and the Path between Hod (which provides analysis and communication) and Geburah (the place where forms and structures are challenged or affirmed), and whether upright or reversed, it tells of the benefits to be had from altering my perceptions. It also tells of surrender, and the pause that happens through balance. Both of these are Watery cards, and according to the elemental dignities, Water is cold and binds, is wet and adapts, and represents emotional, imaginative and sensitive energy that tries to stay the same or take the same path. Both of these cards are reversed, so either these energies will not be good for me today, or they will be difficult to tap into.

My Thoth card is the Seven of Wands reversed. “Valour” is Crowley’s keyword for the Seven of Wands (Mars, action, spontaneity, aggression, drive, in Leo, “I am,” passionate, dramatic, natural leader, egotistical, selfish). The Seven of Wands has a personal significance for me, given to me by Archangel Uriel. I see this card in an upright position as representing the approach of a Threshold, and the need to pass the tests of the Guardian; since the card is reversed, the Threshold may have been passed. I need to be cautious today about allowing fear to rule my choices, and I need to not strike out on my own or act without forethought.

My Legacy card is The Devil reversed, flavored by The Hermit. This is the second time in less than a month that I have thrown these two cards together; last time, The Hermit was the reversed card. In an upright position, The Devil corresponds with Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes, and stable, material, practical energies that are slow to change), Capricorn (“I build,” ambitious, competent, cautious, cunning), Ayin (the eye, senses), and the Path between Hod (which provides analysis and communication) and Tipareth (the hub of the creation process where energies harmonize and focus to illuminate and clarify). The Devil is about bondage, addiction and restrictions of all kinds, often connected to the physical world; because the card is reversed, I may find that there is an imbalance in my day as far as physical sensations. The Hermit is my only upright card today, and thus, I am taking his message seriously. He corresponds with Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes, and material, practical and stable energy that is slow to change), Virgo (“I serve,” practical, analytical, work and service oriented, orderly), Yod (open hand, touch), and the Path between Tiphareth (the hub of the creation process where energies harmonize and focus to illuminate and clarify) and Chesed (the place where forms and structure are stabilized and nurtured), and points to hidden knowledge attained through seclusion and tough introspection.

My Pearls of Wisdom Imbolc card is the Queen of Cups reversed. The Queen of Cups (cusp of Gemini, “I think,” curious, sociable, dual, and Cancer, “I feel,” sensitive, tenacious, nurturing, moody) is Water of Water, and thus is quite deeply connected to her feelings and her Inner Voice. She feels compassion for all, is able to hear and understand what others are saying and feeling, and is a natural healer who only needs to touch or interact with someone in order to have a positive effect. The Pearls of Wisdom Queen in an upright position brings a dreamy serenity to her surroundings; she trusts her intuition and can be quite persuasive. She is reversed, however, and I am being told that at least for the near future, tapping into my Inner Voice and understanding the feelings of others just might be a challenge.

My 6-digit date number is 6, the number of vertical and horizontal balance.

My horoscopes: “You're probably feeling full of energy, Sagittarius, and looking for an outlet for it aside from the usual jog or workout. A hike along a scenic path would be just the thing. Phone a friend and see if you can arrange to do it together. Your friend will probably be as enthusiastic as you. You may enjoy yourselves so much that you decide to make it a weekly event.”

And: “Today you're given a rare opportunity to make a difference in someone else's life just by being yourself -- are you ready to make such an impact? If you are, then open your heart to as many people as you can today. Go beyond making simple small talk -- skip chatting about the weather and touch on more substantial topics. If you can make an emotional connection, you can encourage a positive change for someone you might never even meet again.”

And: “You have an innate psychic ability that only needs some fine-tuning and strengthening for it develop into a formidable power. Even now, you sometimes find yourself reading other people's thoughts. This sensitivity gets you into trouble sometimes, but mostly it works to your advantage. In relationships, especially, you are able to put an end to hurt feelings before they evolve into something irreparable.”

I spent some time last night just sitting at Danu’s Well. It was so beautiful there, and I was brought to a lovely state of serenity by the darkness and by the clouds of fog that were blanketing the remaining snow piles around the Well. The energy emanating from the dark depths of the Well was warm and comforting and supporting, and I could feel the stresses of the day being gently washed away.

I must say, I was quite surprised to see that the 32nd Path had new lessons for me. When I began reading about this Path, I thought that at least this one would be a review, but I was actually given the opportunity to revisit some foundational information through more learned eyes. How cool is that? This Path is about focusing on the connection between the physical world and the realm of meditation, which is the first non-physical awareness that we learn about, the first level that we rise up to out of our physical body and our physical senses. I have been reminded these past days that in order to be balanced and effective, I need to keep at least one tendril of awareness into the sephiroth I am **not** focusing upon. If my focus is on the physical world, I need to keep a small bit of my awareness into my Inner Voice; if my focus is on the astral realms, I need to keep a small bit of my awareness paying attention to the details in the physical world. I have been shown these past days that this is my lesson to be learned from this Path, particularly the latter focus.

While part of me feels ready to move on to the 31st Path, another part feels that I need to spend more time here, at Danu’s Well, pondering what I have learned and absorbing the lessons. It seems that my Tarot cards of the day are telling me this also. Today will be a day of introspection, and I will not be looking at myself through rose-colored glasses. I will not judge myself too harshly, though; after all, my Lady Danu Herself reminds me often that there is no judgement of others, and the only one who will judge me in the end is myself.

And so, I will spend this Imbolc bathed in the sacred essence of the Maiden, with Her Young Lord by my side, as I celebrate the return of the light (both the light in my psyche and the light in my world) and the approach of Spring.

Imbolc Blessings!

$

Knight of Wands/King of Cups. The Knight of Wands (cusp of Scorpio, “I desire,” intense, controlling, deep, obsessive, and Sagittarius, “I seek,” philosophic, fun-loving, blundering) is a carefree inventor who loves to try new ideas; his power lies in his ability to use words and his intellect, and his ability to see outside the box. He is unpredictable, which can make him difficult to deal with. This has been a major issue for me of late; I don’t know why, but in my enthusiasm I tend to miss important details. The King of Cups (cusp of Libra, “We are,” partnerships, balance, cooperation, and Scorpio, “I desire,” intense, controlling mysterious, obsessive) is the expert on emotions and the subconscious, mainly because of his life experiences. He is good at tending others, but is sometimes not so good at being in touch with his own feelings. It seems that I am being told today that I need to be careful because my enthusiasm could end up blocking my ability to tend to others, and myself.

My Thoth card is Fortune. Fortune corresponds with Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes, and spontaneous, impulsive and energetic change), Jupiter (expansiveness and growth, justice, fortune), Kaph (grasping hand), and the Path between Netzach (the stimulating factors of emotion and inspiration) and Chesed (the place where forms and structure are stabilized and nurtured), and in an upright position, it tells of coming change and reminds us that sometimes change is inevitable, and happens in its own time. The interesting concept that Crowley presents is that the axle of the wheel does not move, which reminds us that while the manifestations of Fate may circle around us, we remain rooted within ourselves and as long as we are patient and versatile, we can deal with all turns of the Wheel, no matter where we end up on that Wheel. The Thoth Wheel also has ten spokes, which directs us to the sephiroth Malkuth, the physical world which is governed by fate. The fist at the bottom of the circle of the Wheel (Kaph, grasping hand) has six rays emanating from it, and tells us that the force that moves the Wheel is Balance, and all will be balanced in the end.

My Legacy card is the Nine of Coins, flavored by the Knight of Wands reversed. Bookend Knights!! The Nine of Coins (Venus, beauty, allure, relationships, in Virgo, “I serve,” practical, analytical, work and service oriented) is a card of accomplishment through the imposition of discipline, and today this card is telling me how to solve the extremes of my Bookend Knights. Pay attention to details!! The Legacy Knight of Wands contains an image of dragons fighting, with flames being spread carelessly around the battling lizards. This is the danger incorporated into this Knight; he has achieved great power through his courage and creativity, but he just is not good at implementing that power.

A bit more about the Knight of Wands. The suit of Wands corresponds with the element of Fire, and action, transformation, passion and destruction. Many decks see the Knights as also corresponding with Fire, although some see the Knights as Air. Today we have one of each, for the Welsh Tarot sees Knights as corresponding with Air, while the Legacy Knights correspond with Fire.

Knights are mercenaries; this means that they perform their tasks at the bidding of their bosses, without imposing their own opinions into the matters at hand. The Welsh Knight would be Air of Fire, and that is a somewhat explosive combination as fire usually needs air in order to continue. This means that for the Welsh Knight, his will supports and strengthens his intellect, and he brings intensity to everything he works with. The Legacy Knight would be Fire of Fire, which means that this Knight may burn brighter, but he also has less endurance. This Knight as gained immense power through his experiences, but he has not yet learned how to execute that power in a responsible manner. He certainly has amazing charisma and would attract many followers; however there is danger in that, too, especially for this reversed Knight, who tends to be unreliable and inconsistent, even if these things happen inadvertently.

No matter how you see them, these Bookend Knights are a handful! Thankfully, each is paired with a card that is filled with discipline. The King of Cups may be a bit of a softie, but actually he just tends to use diplomacy rather than force, at least in the beginning. The Nine of Coins, which is paired with the reversed Knight of Wands, teaches by example; hopefully this reversed Knight will accept the lessons of the Nine, even of he does not see those lessons until after the fact. The King is focused on the emotions and feelings of those around him and the Nine is focused on self-discipline in order to shape the physical world; both of these are useful examples for the bull in the china closet that is this Knight.

My 6-digit date number is 5, the number of movement that erases stagnation.

My horoscopes: “Recent successes haven't made you feel you can rest on your laurels, Sagittarius. Rather, you're more likely to work harder. Today you might spend a lot of time considering different options for improving your socioeconomic status. Among them might be enterprises connected with the planet. Business and romantic partners could inspire you.”

And: “Concentration is the key to your success today -- so keep your eye on the ball if you want to win! The goal you have in your sights right now is yours to lose, so don't worry about anyone taking the power out of your hands. You should try to avoid flighty people, even in social situations . . . their unfocused energy could cause you to lose your focus as well. True friends will give you the space you need, so don't hesitate to ask for it.”

And: “You tend to be very intuitive, but today your channel to the other side could appear to be totally blocked. You can't sense what others are feeling, and oracles such as the I Ching just don't make sense any more. You may try to fall back on logic, but that doesn't work today either. Don't think this is a permanent situation, however. Your mental biorhythms are low. You should be back to normal in a few days.”

I had a lovely meditation on the way home from Cape May last night. I went to the mountaintop altar because I had not been there for a while. I came to the top of the stairs; the sky was overcast and the breeze was cold. I bravely began to take off my clothes. As I did so, I thought again about how potent a tool ritual nudity is. The process of taking off my clothes was changing my awareness, step by step! I then brought some pine needles, pine cones, and some pine twigs to the bowl in front of the altar and started my fire. The flames crackled and the scent of pine filled the air.

Once the fire was started, I added more substantial sticks, and then cast my circle. As I said the words, “The circle is cast; so mote it be!” my circle became visible with a crackling sound! The entire top of the mountain was surrounded by a glowing sphere; this is the first time I have been able to really see my own sacred circle. It glowed with a blue-white light that was incredibly beautiful. I greeted the Quarters; I called each of my Elemental Guides, and I honored the Watchers. Then I took a burning stick from the fire and lit first the Goddess candle, while invoking the Sacred Feminine, and then the God candle, while invoking the Sacred Masculine. For a long moment I stood there, feeling the presence of all who I called or invited.

I then went down on one knee and bowed my head. I could feel the presence of The Source, and I heard Voices whisper, “I am your Goddess, the White Lady, Danu,” and “I am the Black Mother, Kali Ma.” “I am your God, Cernunnos, the Lord of the Wild Things; He who is both White and Black, life and death.” “I am Merlin the Magician, the One who rules the elements through the grace of Deity.” “I am Hecate, She who is the Crossroad between Them all.”

For the first time, I felt the presence of each of Them. I could feel the Sacred Feminine in all of Her aspects of fertility, possibility, and eternal life; and I could feel the Sacred Masculine, the cycle of life that is birth, living, death, and rest in preparation of rebirth, as well as knowledge of the physical world and the ability to affect its manifestations. Opposites in every way, yet needing each other in order to fulfill Divine purpose. For a brief moment, I felt Them join together and was filled with a most incredible awareness of Their desire to merge. I realized that I was filled with this same desire, this need to connect to Deity, and just as They are programmed to respond to each other, They are programmed to respond to this same desire within me.

Again, I heard a Voice whisper. “You are aiming for the right goal, but you are not ready yet. Keep striving, for each time you achieve a connection to Us, you become closer to Us; you elevate your own essence temporarily. This is the ultimate goal, to unite with Us, but know that this goal is only ultimately achieved by surrendering your physical body and allowing your life force to rise up. However the time is not yet ripe for this. You are to continue attempting to initiate the connection to Us for in doing so you enable the connection to happen with greater ease. And you are to continue to attempt to understand your world and your self; you are not to focus so much on finding the right words to describe what you know to be true, but rather, focus on finding the right feelings that are what you know to be true.”

I understand this! I had an aha! moment over the Summer when I realized that reality is a creation of my mind. At that time, I accepted this because I chose to surround myself with sacredness. Now, I have come to believe that while I may create a perception of reality that is acceptable to my mind and my psyche, the building blocks of that reality, created by my own mind that it may be, are the energies of the Sacred. Those energies manifest according to the basic rules of Sacred Energies, just as the physical world manifests according to its own rules. My world, my perceived reality, is built from the same essences as those that compose Deity; they are just vibrating at a lesser level within my physically perceived world than they are within Deity. But both versions of these essences manifest according to the same laws. We can all see this in the familiar cycles of our world.

And okay, I’m talking in circles here, trying to describe the indescribable, but for the first time I am not frustrated. I know what I feel, and for me, what I feel is right and correct. Even if I can’t put these feelings into words.

$

Ten of Swords/Ace of Wands reversed. The Ten of Swords (the Sun, the inner core of a person or situation, in Gemini, “I think,” curious, sociable, dual, talkative) tells me that failure is not fun, but we can’t release the failure unless we play it through to the end, without feeling sorry for ourselves. The Ace of Wands (Cancer, Leo, “I am,” passionate, dramatic, egotistical, Virgo, “I serve,” practical, analytical, sensible, orderly) in an upright position tells of the first spark of a new and exciting creative process, and an encouraging and empowering awareness of my own valuable creative talents. Because the card is reversed and paired with the Ten of Swords, I may not be too confident about those talents, but they are there! If I add a bit of creativity to all that Air found in the suit of Swords, I might be able to distract my mind from what it sees as mistakes.

My Thoth card is Adjustment. Uncle Al sees he Adjustment card (Justice in the traditional Tarot decks) as telling of a need for adjustment, and isn’t that actually what justice is, in the end? This card is about cause and effect, and about the adjustments that happen when we think about causes, and try to make their effects as positive as possible. Adjustment corresponds with the element of Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts, and quick, animated energy that usually brings problems or challenges that bring growth), Libra (“we are,” partnerships, balance, cooperation), Lamed (ox goad; training or teaching), and the Path between Tiphareth (the hub of the creation process where energies harmonize and focus to illuminate and clarify) and Geburah (the place where forms and structures are challenged or affirmed). Interestingly enough, this card can also focus on achieving the balance between the inner self and the outer self; a focus of mine of late.

My Legacy card is the Six of Swords reversed, flavored by The Magician. Wow, interesting pair. The Six of Swords (Mercury, reason, intelligence, education, communication, in Aquarius, “I know,” friendships, the group, cause oriented) in an upright position is about hitting the reset button in order to move away fro a problem. Because it is reversed, today’s problems won’t be solved by walking away. The Magician corresponds with Air (hot/separates and wet/adapts, and quick and animated energy which usually presents problems or challenges), Mercury, Beth (house; builder) and the Path between Binah (female, receptive energy and the origin of form and structure) and Kether (the source, limitless possibility), and he is flavoring the Six of Swords reversed. Since he has the power to transform his world through the use of his Will, he is validating this interpretation of the Six of Swords reversed; I can fix things so I should not run away from them.

My 6-digit date number is 7 the number that tells of the pause at the beginning of degeneration.

My horoscopes: “Today you may decide to study healing, Sagittarius. You could read about alternative methods regarding diet, herbs, aromatherapy, massage, or acupuncture. You might decide to learn some hands-on methods. Whether or not you ever practice any of these professionally, learning about them should transform your life for the better on both physical and emotional levels. Make the most of it.”

And: “If you've been looking for inspiration lately, get with your wackiest friends or family. Surround yourself with the people who look at the world from an odd angle, and you'll be able to see things in a whole new way, too. Seek controversy today -- play devil's advocate as often as you can. You'll encourage people to be passionate about what they believe -- and passion can be contagious. Before you know it, you'll be struck by it.”

And: “Today you may sit down at the computer for just a minute to research something on the Internet and wind up spending most of the afternoon entranced by what you're reading. You could very well stumble upon some information on the occult and mysticism. You've always been fascinated, and now that you've begun learning you don't want to stop. Perhaps you could enroll in a workshop to learn and mingle with others with a similar interest.”

I have come to believe that building cannot happen without tearing down; and not just one session of demolition is enough. Each cycle requires a greater time of demolition. My Lady Danu keeps reminding me that I should be pleased, complimented and excited that my tests have become soooooo daaarrrrnnned difficult to resolve. She won't test me beyond my ability to succeed, but She will push the envelope. And I am already finding that my recent moments of disillusionment are serving me well, plus they are helping me to serve others, by teaching me to keep my own frame of mind strong and solid and serene and unshakable, with a good foundation of experiences to draw upon.

And still, Danu is with me and tells me that even if the results of any of my efforts are not what I want, I have not failed; she reminds me that in the end, I can only control my own choices. But more important, because of my own recent Dark Nights, brief as they are, I have been able to handle recent challenges without becoming totally undone myself because for me, today, these are not major issues. Even a month ago, these events may have totally derailed me for a bit, but not since my own Dark Nights of late.

Yes, I am different than I was even a month ago. This difference is hard to describe to others, and is hard to even talk about at all. I feel that I am being tested constantly, being pushed out into the world to manifest more bits of what I have learned in all my inner work this past Winter. I feel that I am being told that I must become The Magician, for I cannot truly understand my inner work unless I have completely manifested it in an outer fashion. LOL, does that make sense? I think the most frightening (and exhilarating!) part is that this is not about reading a lesson written by someone else, and then answering some homework questions or writing some essays. No one else has been here, so there are no guide books. I am not only finding my own way into uncharted territory, but I am writing my own lessons in order to do my own homework.

The thing about feeling my way through the dark is that the Seven of Pentacles moment doesn't appear until much later. I don't get the gratification of seeing where I've come from because it is still dark back there. I will need to complete the cycle before I can see what I've done and where I’ve come from, and that is a bit scary for I have no reference points. But as Danu keeps telling me, I need to remember the reason that I am being tested in such a manner. I don’t need someone else’s reference points for they won’t work for me. I must find my own.

No turning back, indeed!

Ted Andrews states in “More Simplified Magick: Pathworking and The Tree of Life,” regarding the 32^nd Path: “On this path, the symbols and images awaken fears that burden the imagination and block our flows of energies. The working of this path clears and liberates us from the weight of physical existence in its many forms.” Yes, I understand this. I strive for understanding, for Purpose, but I also know that I am moving into unknown territory here, so understanding may not be immediate, and Purpose may not be clear. Because I have come so far already, I have learned patience and perseverance. The answers will come; the clarity will happen, because of the burdens and blockages.

The 32^nd Path shows us our limitations for one purpose: to learn that they can only hold us back if we allow them to. Experiencing blockages teaches me how to unblock them, how to not allow them to deter my forward motion. This is a slow process which needs time in order to come to fruit, as well as focus and effort. What helps me to persevere is that I know there is a purpose to this muddy, cloudy time.

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Five of Wands reversed/Queen of Pentacles reversed. The Five of Wands in an upright position represents Saturn (discipline, responsibility, law and order) in Leo (“I am, passionate, dramatic, egotistical), and it represents a struggle that appears at crossed purposes. It is reversed, so the struggle is not an issue today, or at lest the struggle won’t be as bad as it appears. The Queen of Pentacles (cusp of Sagittarius, “I seek,” philosophic, adventurous, blundering, and Capricorn, “I build,” ambitious, cautious, competent, cunning) is one of my favorite cards. She is the Minor Arcana version of The Empress, and while she may not be able to create new life, she is very good at sustaining life of all kinds. She tells me that spiritual enlightenment can be found through a secure foundation, a happy home.

My Thoth card is the Ace of Cups. The Ace of Cups (Libra, “We are,” partnerships, balance, cooperation, Scorpio, “I desire,” intense, deep, mysterious, obsessive, Sagittarius, “I seek,” philosophic, fun-loving, adventurous, blundering) tells of the possibility of the beginning of a relationship of some kind, one that may be filled with the potential to bring enlightenment and understanding. This Ace is not a guaranty of happiness, but it tells me that I have the power to make happiness for myself. Crowley sees this card as representing the Holy Grail, and as telling me that love is the answer to every question.

My Legacy card is the Eight of Wands reversed, flavored by The Moon. The Eight of Wands (Mercury, reason, intelligence, education, skill, communication, in Sagittarius, “I seek,” philosophic, fun-loving, adventurous, blundering) in an upright position is about a sudden release of energy of some kind that clears away confusion. Because the card is reversed, there may be a heaviness and lack of action about his energies today. The Moon in an upright position corresponds with Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts, emotional and sensitive energy that strives to stay the same), Pisces (“I believe,” feeling, suffering, soul growth, duality), Qof (the back of the head), and the Path between Malkuth (the physical world of action and physical, outer reality) and Netzach (the stimulating factors of emotion and inspiration), and talks about the imagination and fear of the unknown. Its presence usually indicates that things are not as they seem to be; because it is reversed, I need to remember that things that look different are not to be feared.

My 6-digit date number is 4, the number of depth and stability.

My horoscopes: “Stress, strain, and a little conflict within a business, romantic, or creative partnership could have you toying with the idea of ending it, Sagittarius. Don't do anything rash right now. Wait a day or so and then think about it. This is likely to be a temporary situation. If you break it off now you will probably regret it tomorrow. Spend time alone and give your partner some space.”

And: “Right from the start of the day you'll have a huge wave of energy that could propel you in the wrong direction if you don't steer it right as early as possible. Timing is everything, so leave the fun stuff for the afternoon or evening. You need to be devoted to your latest tasks -- be proactive, and if you see something that needs to be addressed, then add it onto your list of things to do. You'll have the energy to handle it, so don't put it off for another day.”

And: “An emotional issue with a family member could have you wanting to run away and hide somewhere. Don't fight the urge - this may be just what you need to clear your mind with regards to the problem and heal your wounded psyche before you face this person again. You might also receive some rather disconcerting revelations about yourself and old traumas that you have long since forgotten. Don't fight these either. Simply release them.”

More about the 32^nd Path. This Path focuses on revealing the hidden, both the hidden workings of the physical world and the hidden parts of ourselves, hidden from others and hidden from our own awareness. The subconscious is the repository of all the things we don’t want to face in a conscious manner, and the subconscious is the place where we create, where we do magick. Working with the 32^nd Path opens the gateway between a physical world only focus and an awareness of the other worlds. Working with this Path shines a revealing light into the subconscious, just as the Moon lights the darkest night. These revelations may be frightening at first, but once we find the courage to face what is revealed to us and come to understand us, we will be liberated on many levels.

I need to be forewarned that the work I do with this Path will manifest challenges and blockages, but I should remember that these challenges and blockages are like red flags that point out areas which need work and effort. The gift of the 32^nd Path is a balance between flow and restriction, and the ability to hear the voice of the Higher Self even in times of darkness. **smile** I know that I have been learning this particular lesson of late.

This first Path represents our first steps outside our physical bodies because the journey from Malkuth to Yesod represents our first attempts at meditation. Now I understand why many use the Paths of the Tree of Life as a tool for growth.

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Five of Cups reversed/Judgement. The Five of Cups (Mars, action, aggression, drive, in Scorpio, “I desire,” intense, controlling, mysterious, obsessive) tells of the cloudy sludge that is stirred up when still waters are disturbed. This card in an upright position reminds us not to give up hope, even if there are a few snags in the day. Because it is reversed, this Five is telling me that those snags probably won’t hold me back, at least emotionally. Judgement corresponds with Fire (hot/separates and dry/shapes, and spontaneous, impulsive and energetic change), Pluto (power, metamorphosis, cycles of dying and becoming), Shin (fang), and the Path between Malkuth (the physical world of action and physical, outer reality) and Hod (provides analysis and communication), and represents the integration of the entire self, through answering for my actions and receiving the appropriate response. This process might not be as painful as I anticipate, thanks to the Five of Cups reversed. Judgement also reminds me that where I’ve been has a direct effect on where I am now, and where I think I’m going.

My Thoth card is the Six of Disks. “Success” is Uncle Al’s keyword for this card, which has been showing up for me lately, both upright and reversed. The Thoth Six of Disks (Moon, feelings and emotions, illusion, imagination, in Taurus, “I have,” sensual, cautious, stubborn) has a heavy feel to it, and I guess in a way that makes sense. The thing that we need to remember about success is that it takes maintenance; we can’t just reach the appropriate level and then sit back; rather, we must keep alert and do what we have to in order to keep momentum alive.

My Legacy card is the Knight of Swords, flavored by The Moon reversed. The Knight of Swords (the cusp of Taurus, “I have,” sensual, stubborn, cautious, and Gemini, “I think,” curious, talkative, dual, intelligent) is somewhat scary to behold. He is not afraid of taking action, not afraid of wading into conflicts, and not afraid to implement new ideas. Emotions and compassion are absolutely not a part of his M.O., and for the good or the bad, he believes in himself completely. The Moon in an upright position corresponds with Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts, emotional and sensitive energy that strives to stay the same), Pisces (“I believe,” feeling, suffering, soul growth, duality), Qof (the back of the head), and the Path between Malkuth (the physical world of action and physical, outer reality) and Netzach (the stimulating factors of emotion and inspiration), and talks about the imagination and fear of the unknown. Its presence here tells me that things are not as they seem to be; because it is reversed, I may very well be missing something important, or making an assumption based on faulty information. I need to look again, carefully.

My 6-digit date number is 11 (Archangel Uriel), which reduces to the number 2, representing balance, polarity and distance between.

My horoscopes: “Errands seem to rule the day. You spend most of it in the car, running hither and yon. Don't be surprised if you run into an old friend you haven't seen in a while. The casual pleasantries you exchange could develop into something more. Perhaps you will discover a common interest and decide to build a business based on it. Keep your eyes (and mind) wide open.”

And: “A birth or other type of new beginning introduces you to an interesting philosophy today. It's like a light is shining in a new corner of the world, and you're very intrigued to see what's there. Feel free to explore your curiosities -- it's very healthy and mature to educate yourself on things you don't yet understand. Get together with people who know more than you do, and start talking. Discussion is one of the best ways to truly understand a concept.”

And: “You are feeling especially psychic and mystically inclined today. You might want to read about such matters, or attend a lecture or workshop given by someone in the field. Telepathic communications are coming your way; don't be surprised if more than once during the course of the day you and another say the exact same thing at the exact same time! You might also experience a powerful kinship with people from the past.”

The 32^nd Path is the first of the initiatory Paths. It connects Malkuth, the sphere of the physical and active world, with Yesod, the sphere of the life force which animates the physical world. The 32^nd Path is about birth, and about death; it reminds us that birth **is** death, for when we are born, we leave behind all memories of past experiences and move into a new existence. This is exactly what happens to us when we die as well.

Any time we meditate or contemplate or journey, we are traveling the 32^nd Path. My moments of glimpses of the Machinery of the Universe are firmly placed upon this Path, as is any pondering that first brings us to understand our own self, and then shows us how small we are and how huge our Universe can be. Yet, we also come to understand that as small as we are, we have a place in this vast and wondrous Universe, and one purpose of life and of living is to find that place.

Indeed, one of the tasks of this Path is to understand physical life, its causes and its needs. This understanding of our physical foundation allows us to come to know our energy body and our life force, and to understand and experience the way that they are bound to our physical self.

One symbol of this Path is the rainbow; the rainbow is an illusion of light which can only be seen from one direction. Ellen Cannon Reed mentions something very cool in her book, “The Witches Tarot,” which will make this 32^nd Path easy for me to remember; she reminds us that Malkuth corresponds with Earth and Yesod corresponds with the Moon, and thus every astronaut who has stepped foot on the Moon has traveled the 32^nd Path.

The Major Arcana card which corresponds to the 32^nd Path is The World. The traditional image on this card is filled with symbolism: the womb, the Giver of Life/Taker of Life, the four elements, matter/energy/time/space, a circle without end, and the Divine energy which connects us all. The World tells us that we have achieved the union of the conscious self with the unconscious self, the mind with the body, and for a time, we are one with Deity and with the Universe. But while the tasks of this cycle have been completed and the lessons of this cycle have been learned, we are not to stop for long. The cycles of life are eternal, and once we pass through the threshold, we must begin again.

I feel that I have been working with the 32^nd Path for some time. Thinking about it today, reading about it, is helping me to crystallize my own thoughts regarding these experiences.

I am off to a good start.

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Knight of Pentacles reversed/Three of Cups reversed. The Knight of Pentacles (cusp of Leo, “I am,” passionate, dramatic, egotistical, and Virgo, “I serve,” practical, analytical, work and service oriented), like all Knights, represents extreme manifestations of his suit, Pentacles. He seems to focus on how to get things done, rather than why things need to be done, and since he is reversed, I may find that today, I am not focusing enough on responsibilities because I am distracted by the pleasures of the physical world. Things are not getting done, and while there is nothing wrong with enjoying a good cup of coffee or the warmth of the fireplace, I should try to get at least a bit of practical work done today. The Three of Cups (Mercury, reason, intelligence, orderliness, communication, in Cancer, “I feel,” sensitive tenacious, nurturing, moody) in an upright position tells of the possibility of experiencing emotional abundance and support as a part of the day. Because the card is reversed, I may find that emotional sustenance will not be easily found through my contacts with others.

My Thoth card is The Moon. The Moon in an upright position corresponds with Water (cold/binds and wet/adapts, emotional and sensitive energy that strives to stay the same), Pisces (“I believe,” feeling, suffering, soul growth, duality), Qof (the back of the head), and the Path between Malkuth (the physical world of action and physical, outer reality) and Netzach (the stimulating factors of emotion and inspiration), and talks about the imagination and fear of the unknown. Uncle Al also connects this card to the waning moon and to menstrual blood (which means that the promise of the seed was not fulfilled). The thing about The Moon is that to me, it is mostly about fear, fear of the unknown and of things not understood. But if nothing is as it seems, then perhaps there really is not anything to fear. Perhaps the lack of clarity can be turned into a useful tool.

My Legacy card is the Six of Cups, flavored by the Nine of Coins. The Six of Cups (Sun, the inner core of a person or situation in Scorpio, “I desire,” intense, compulsive, deep, obsessive) reminds me that happiness comes from within me, and happiness needs no expensive surroundings in order to manifest. This happiness may be fed and supported by memories of the past, or by seeing things from the viewpoint of a child, but no matter what, there is potential to be had. The Nine of Coins (Venus, beauty, allure, relationships, in Virgo, “I serve,” practical, analytical, work and service oriented) is a card of accomplishment, and of the pleasure we receive from looking around us and seeing the fruits of our labor. The Nine of Coins is also about taming the wild beast within us all, but I wonder if there is some danger to taming the beast too well. The Six of Cups reminds me that the innocence of childhood also contains the power of belief in the unproven. The flavor of the Nine of Coins may bring a bit of structure to the lovely feelings associated with the Six of Cups, but it is my feelings and the instructions of my Inner Voice that must have the final say today.

My 6-digit date number is 9, the number of completeness of manifestation.

My horoscopes: “You usually tend to be outgoing, Sagittarius, and you love talking to others. However, today you may feel far more reticent than usual, more inclined to listen than speak. There may not seem to be any real reason for this. It isn't as if you're depressed or worried. Don't worry about it. View this as an opportunity to hear what others have to say. You will be yourself tomorrow.”

And: “Your intuition, physical and intellectual energy, and insight are at an all-time high today. You'll probably want to spend much of the day alone, reflecting on your ideas and deciding how you want to put them to work for you. At some point you may want to memorialize your thoughts in writing. You could also find yourself tuning in more strongly than usual to the thoughts and feelings of others.”

One of the true tests to the relevancy of someone’s writings (either my own or someone else’s) is to return to those writings after the elapsing of a sufficient amount of time. If the things I read (or wrote) months and even years ago are still valid, or better yet, end up offering current validation to me, despite the fact that I read or wrote the text at a very different stage of my life, then I am usually impressed. Since I finished my first reading of “When I See The Wild God: Encountering Urban Celtic Witchcraft,” by Ly De Angeles, I decided to go back to her previous book, “Witchcraft: Theory and Practice,” which I own, and re-read that book. Imagine my pleasure when, right at the beginning, I found phrases and paragraphs that present in other words the very things that I am dealing with within my Craft.

“Anyone who willingly opens themselves to powers beyond the veil of manifestation (as we understand it) opens themselves to the possibility of inner initiation. Witches know that they are witches, but initiation is what sets and seals that knowledge through the power of ritual and the intent inherent to the process itself, to a deeper strata of recognition and response both within oneself and from the powers to which we are oathed. Once initiation has occurred, there is no turning back – you will quest all your life; it is not a thing to do thoughtlessly. Once you have chosen to take upon yourself the obligations of the practice of witchcraft, then the effects, or the immanence, of this way of life, will be bestowed on you from aligned intelligences, and so will the tests that accompany them.” Oh yes. Exactly right.

And: “The nature of initiation will keep you questing for the rest of your life. There will be no surcease. There is no walking away from this once it has called your name and you have willingly answered. The forces that you work with will continue to feed and inspire you; and everything ends up being looked at through eyes that know how to see.”

I got the chills when I read the last part of that last sentence, “. . . and everything ends up being looked at through eyes that know how to see.” Wow; that says so much to me, those words resonate within me in so many ways.

Tara and I have both come to a realization: the deeper we immerse ourselves into our own training, the less we are able to talk about what we learn with others and still find the right words to convey the magick and power of our experiences. This effect ends up insulating us from those around us, particularly those who are not of the “woo-woo” persuasion. **smile** Believe me, I wish I had a pic of my husband’s face the first time I talked to him about my personal Spirit Guides. But here is the thing: Once I have come to begin the process of understanding my own personal truth, I have found that I end up owing “service” (for want of a better word) to that truth. That service involves not allowing fear or discomfort to siderail my efforts, and it involves being on call when I am changed or moved by contact and interactions with the intelligence of the forces which are presenting these truths to me.

Just as Goddess and God are programmed to respond to requests for interaction, I, too, have a responsibility to respond to questions for interaction. The difficulty here is that I cannot allow myself to become totally distracted from being a student myself. This balance between leading others, and being led by others, needs to be kept dynamic, and both roles need to be acknowledged and accepted.

One final thought: the deeper I immerse myself into these studies, the more jarring and unharmonious will be the deviations. As long as I stay on the Path, I will experience harmony and well being; if I stray, the warnings will become more and more “in my face”; because my energy field is being made more and more harmonious to the essence of life that is Deity, even a slight distraction will end up having an uncomfortable outcome.

Since Paths 32, 31 and 30 are connected to initiation, I believe the time has come for me to begin my Pathworking. Tomorrow, I will talk about the 32^nd Path.

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The Hierophant reversed/The Universe. The Hierophant corresponds with Earth (cold/binds and dry/shapes), Taurus (“I have,” sensual, cautious, stubborn), Vau (the nail which holds tradition in place), and the Path between Chesed (the place where forms and structures are stabilized and nurtured), and Chokmah (dynamic male energy, the origin of vital force and polarity). The Hierophant is the nail which holds in place tradition and culture. In an upright position, this card tells us that the old ways and the ancient traditions speak to the moment; an understanding of these ways is worth attaining for they are all part and parcel of alchemical transformation. Because the card is reversed, accepted tradition may end up being a fence rather than a guide for me today. The Universe/World (Earth, cold/binds and dry/shapes, stable, physical, material, slow to change; Saturn, discipline, responsibility, limitations and resistance; Thav, mark or sign; and the Path between Malkuth, the physical world of action and physical reality, and Yesod, the place where patterns and images emerge that may manifest into Malkuth) is an interesting card to show up next to The Hierophant in a reversed position. The Universe tells me that I have achieved union with both my conscious and my subconscious mind, and the next step is union with the Divine. The Threshold has presented itself to me, the Gateway is right in front of me; I need to remember that once I step through, I will not only be dealing with the unknown (because any structure or order that I have attained thus far will be no long applicable), but I will also once again become a neophyte (because along with that order and structure, everything that I have come to know as my own personal “truth” will be changed). Perhaps the reversed Hierophant is reminding me that seeing myself as the expert can end up shutting me away from all learning.

My Thoth card is the Seven of Disks. “Failure” reversed; in an upright position, the Seven of Disks (Saturn, discipline, responsibility, law and order, in Taurus, “I have,” sensual, cautious, stubborn) tells of what happens when you combine the element of Earth and its focus on stability with the planet Saturn, which is about responsibility and discipline. Crowley sees this card as representing extreme passivity, and since the card is the number 7, that passivity could very well have been caused by the vertical and horizontal balance of the number 6. The card is reversed, thankfully, but it is there, so I need to be careful that it does not become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Pausing to assess is a good thing, but I need to be certain that I act on what I discover, so that I can prevent that stagnation.

My Legacy card is The Hierophant, flavored by the Five of Cups. Bookend Hierophants!! The Legacy Hierophant is called “Faith,” and the image of this card presents representations of the four major organized religions in our world, each presented as being in harmony with the other three. Joining them together is a pillar of light that represents faith, the common denominator of each tradition. The Five of Cups (Mars, action, aggression, drive, in Scorpio, “I desire,” intense, controlling, mysterious, obsessive) tells of the cloudy sludge that is stirred up when still waters are disturbed. This card is reminding me to not give up hope, even if there are a few snags in my day. It makes a wonderful pair with The Hierophant, for the Five of Cups tells us that while we may be poor in the physical world, spiritual fulfillment is available to even those with no money.

Okay, more about my bookends card. The Hierophant is the archetype of beliefs, and tells of pure force being brought to us on both the physical plane and within spiritual reality; indeed this card is considered the Eternal Intelligence, because it represents the Pleasure of the Glory. The Hierophant is paired with The High Priestess, and the best way to understand this card is through the Great Rite. The Hierophant is the physical world representation of pure force and the Sacred Masculine; he corresponds with Taurus the bull, and with the ox, both of which are representations of the Horned God. The Hierophant is the initiator of the Mysteries, and thus he is the bridge between the Outer Circle of students and the Inner Circle of Adepts. While this card can represent a single person, it is better described as representing an institution, because it is the power of the group and of society that changes the world via their beliefs.

My 6-digit date number is 6, the number of vertical and horizontal balance.

My horoscopes: “Expanding your horizons is the key for today, Sagittarius. Communications received from distant states or foreign lands could have you entertaining the idea of traveling to those places. Learning is very much on your mind. You're probably curious about different cultures, ideas, and perspectives. Even though you might not make definite plans for travel now, you're apt to at least consider it.”

And: “There's one particular condition that's absolutely lethal to your sign when it comes to relating to the rest of us: Righteous anger. You're feeling that now, and for good reason. Warn any innocent spectators to step away before the explosion occurs -- especially since the heavens have endowed you with the ability to let whoever pushes your buttons have it with every bit of intellectual anger and perfect prose you've got -- in no small amount, either.”

And: “Your internal fire may be feeling a bit smothered by a fierce reality check today. Give people the benefit of the doubt. They are more perceptive than you may think. In fact, it may behoove you to get some honest feedback today from some people you trust. It may be difficult for you to sort out the truth in your present situation since you are the one caught in the middle of the maelstrom. Consider the perspective of another.”

Along with the wallowing in the muck that was my short but intense Dark Night, and along with all of the wonderful progress I have made along with this Dark Night, I had a truly Five of Wands kind of day on Wednesday. I call this situation a “turnsta day,” a day when everything I touch “turnsta” dog poop. By the end of the evening, I was feeling a bit bewildered by the horrors that had unfolded continuously throughout the day.

“Horrors” might not be the right word, but for someone like me, making a string of minor booboos that happen mainly because I am not paying attention (yep, minor conflicts of the Five of Wands) is torture. It’s as if my “dumb” switch gets thrown, and then stuck in the On position. Each time I took a deep breath and attempted to put it all behind me, I discovered another mistake that I had made.

Of course, I put everything to rights, and I took responsibility for my actions (LOL, or in most cases, my inadvertent non-actions). And then I admit that I whined a bit to Danu. After all, I had made it through my Dark Night with my “self” intact, and I had even had moments of connection to Deity and minor glimpses of the Machinery of the Universe both before and after my Dark Night. I had felt, before Wednesday morning, that I had a handle on things. My cold was even fading away. And then, everything turnsta dog poop.

Danu put me to rights. She told me that actually, she was quite pleased with the way that I had dealt with the day. Pleased? I was almost in tears by the time I discovered the last few mistakes that I had made; I was wondering what the heck was wrong with me. Danu was pleased, however, because of how many times She had to pull the rug back out from under my feet before I finally lost it.

She explained to me that I had better expect that the challenges that block my way will become larger and more difficult to solve. And She reminded me of my current favorite saying, a saying which everyone who I love has heard from me at some point: “ You don’t really ever know you have courage unless you experience real fear.” I had been given a gentler opportunity to learn with my mind and my heart and my spirit the lesson of that saying. I had been given discouragement, and proved to myself that I have fortitude.

“Did you not have your own strength validated?” She asked. I nodded; yes, I did have my own strength validated. In a big way. Thank you, Danu.

This evening, I finally had an opportunity to perform the ritual that Hecate had tasked me with. This ritual was to be performed without words at all, only images and visualizations. It was to be a formal ritual, with a cast circle and called quarters, with Deities invoked, and it was to focus on the crossroad of dawn in relation to my new business endeavor. It was amazing.

I timed the ritual so that it took place at sundown. I made use of visualizations, my chakras, and my personal energy field to gather and charge energies. To my delight, I felt the presence of Cernunos, a strong and vital and powerful presence, along with the fertility of the Sacred Feminine, and each of my Elemental Guides joined me in their respective quarters, offering their unique support. My Air Guide offered clarity of thinking so that I may best manifest new ideas, my Fire Guide offered me passion and excitement and the ability to transform myself, my Water Guide offered me compassion and the power to heal and the ability to hear my own Inner Voice, and my Earth Guide offered me a stronger connection to my own physical body and to the physical bodies of my clients as well as the potential to achieve physical world security. I drew these gifts into me as I watched the glory that was this evening’s sunset. Then, once it was full dark and the moon had risen, I spent a few more minutes enjoying the silver illumination in the dark Winter sky.

Then, I released the energy, believing that it will manifest.

It has been an up and down week. But surprisingly, I feel good tonight. Perhaps this is the vertical and horizontal balance presented by the number 6.

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