The Empress reversed/Ace of Cups. Emotions, feelings and the subconscious are important today, but that does not mean that I can allow my Watery side to have free reign to jump in over my head and wallow in the effects of all my senses. I can take a moment, here and there, to enjoy sensations of all kinds (and the Watery focus of all three of my cards today tells me that there will be plenty of opportunities for this), but I need to keep at least one toe on the ground.

My Thoth card is the Ten of Cups . . . again. “Satiety”; perhaps I am being warned that there is a potential for luxury to progress to stagnation. Now is not the time to rest on my laurels, apparently. There is nothing wrong with thinking about the pleasures of my senses, but since I also have the Ace of Cups today, I need to know that I have already begun to make the transition from the completion of the Ten to the new beginning at the next level of the Ace.

I understand these cards perfectly. The past few days have offered amazing experiences, but I am being told by that reversed Empress, the card that is my personal significator, to not be my usual self (who would very easily get carried away with reliving the amazing experiences) and rather, while it is okay to think about them and relive them every now and then, I need to be aware of the needs of others. Okay, I can do that, but first I need to journal about last night.

Last night, while driving home from dance class, Archangel Uriel came to me. He was above my car as I drove South on Route 23 while watching the most amazing display of lightning, and I could hear and feel His wings as He moved along with me at 60 miles an hour. At first He said nothing, so I allowed my awareness to move out of my physical body and into my mental/emotional body. In an instant, I was seeing my car from Uriel’s viewpoint! How cool is that! Astral projection at 60 miles per hour; what a lovely gift. I could feel Uriel’s arms holding me with Him so that I could concentrate on looking down at my car without having to also focus on keeping myself moving forward; after I got over my surprise, I really enjoyed the experience. I was able to keep that part of my awareness that was needed for driving focused on the physical world and at the same time, I was able to enjoy the sight of my car from above as it moved along the road.

I performed my personal Dark Moon Esbat when I got home last night. In preparation for my upcoming Shadow Work with Mystery, I replaced the part of my Dark Moon Esbat that is normally devoted to divination with a meditation which allowed me to visit the sanctuary dedicated to Kali where I normally go to talk to Her.

I slid into the tall and narrow, nearly invisible opening in the cliff face that was the access to Her hidden cave, and wound my way through the S-shaped entryway. I stepped into the huge chamber and breathed in the cool and dry air that was a relief from the heat and sun of the outside world. There before me, mostly hidden by the shadows, was the huge stone statue of Kali, a deep bass relief chiseled into the living wall of the cave. Her large faceted ruby eyes glistened in the light of the fire that was burning in the gaping firepit at Her feet. I moved forward, stepping up to the firepit, and I placed three good sized logs onto the fire, which immediately flared up and began to crackle.

I greeted Kali out loud, and then bowed my head; I whispered softly as I described my intentions to Her, and asked for her help, both on my behalf and on Mystery’s behaf, and then I looked back up at Her face. She stared, as always, into the dark shadows at the roof of the cave.

I bowed again and took a few steps backward as I prepared to leave, and suddenly I heard a rustle of cloth and the pad of footsteps coming from the shadows to the left of Kali’s statue. Out of those dark shadows appeared a Tibetan monk carrying a bowl filled with incense. Ignoring me, the monk moved forward until he was at the base of the statue. He placed the incense bowl between Kali’s feet, turned to light a long piece of reed in the firepit, and then turned back to face Her and lit the incense in the bowl. The monk whispered softly, chanting words that I could not make out or understand, and then he bent and kissed each of Kali’s feet.

To my surprise, She looked down at him! The monk and the Goddess stared into each other’s eyes for several moments, and then the monk bowed reverently. When I looked back at Kali, She was once again staring into the distance. The monk straightened, and for the first time acknowledged my presence with a quick, furtive glance, and then left the way he came in.

I stood there for a few moments, hearing only the crackle of the fire. I then moved cautiously forward to Kali’s feet, and looked up at Her. What offering could I give that would please Her? I had no incense, no amber, no rubies to please her. Then, I had an idea. I opened my heart chakra and allowed the energy to accumulate and spin; once the energy was clean and clear and balanced, I gathered it into a ball of forest green light. I reverently placed the ball of energy at Kali’s feet, next to the bowl of incense, and then I bent and kissed each of her smallest toes. When I looked back up at Her face, I looked right into those blood red ruby eyes! Her glance and the power within her gaze are incredible, and very different from what I have experienced during those few times that I have been able to look for just a moment into Archangel Uriel’s glowing eyes.

Her eyes are deep! I felt a part of myself drawn into those eyes, and I sensed not only power, very old and confident power, but I also sensed for the first time in my life the concept of Eternity. The archetypal energy that is Kali and that is all Dark Goddesses is old, older than mankind surely, but older than most other parts of the Universe. The Dark Goddess has seen everything and experienced everything, for She was there at the beginning of All. The worries and graspings of all of humanity are insignificant moments to She who has already been the Maiden and the Mother, never mind the worries of one individual, and yet She saw me. She acknowledged me. No words were said and no promises were made, but Kali knows that I exist. She knows that I am choosing to learn about an uncomfortable segment of who I really am, and She knows that I am taking this action at least partially in Her honor and in honor of the knowledge and wisdom that She has already gifted to me.

I think that I have made a promise here, a promise to make this Shadow Work the best it can be. I wonder if this is what Uriel was preparing me for, all along.

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